Work Text:
OA's been having nightmares for as long as he can remember. As a kid, they were more centered around irrational fears, but after Iraq, most of his nightmares have been flashbacks to his time deployed. Then there are the ones with his family, his girlfriend, or his best friend.
The night after their most recent case, with Maggie undercover and the truck bomb, they'd gotten worse.
Before, the nightmares started with that bullet from the box piercing her kevlar, and ended with her bleeding out in his arms, unable to save her. Now, after this case, after that stunt she pulled, they start with him driving after her, she's out of the truck by the time he pulls up, but the truck detonates and she's not far enough away. After she hits the ground, she doesn't get up. She doesn't move at all.
In an instant he’s by her side, turning her over, and her eyes are closed; she's too still. "Maggie?" His chest tightens when he doesn't get an answer, when she doesn't stir. "Come on, Mags. Wake up." Nothing, again. "Maggie!" He's desperate, putting his fingers to her neck, and there's nothing. No pulse. Maggie's gone.
OA shoots up in his bed, gasping for air, in a cold sweat. Maggie's not there, he knows she didn't stay the night, not after the argument they'd had that evening. It was the only thing they ever argued about, each other's safety. He just wanted her to be safe. But she wouldn't have it, she blew him off, again. He was so tired of her telling him everything was okay, that she'd be fine, when she clearly wasn't. He knew something his wrong. But every time he pushed, she pushed him back, further and further away.
He can't take it anymore. He picks up his phone from the bedside table. He taps on Maggie's contact.
"OA? What are you calling me this late for? it's almost three in the morning." He hesitates to answer, even through the phone he can tell she's still upset from that evening. "OA?" her tone shifts, softer this time, and he finds himself relaxing a bit at the sound of her voice.
"Can I come over?" The words leave his mouth before he even has time to think.
She hesitates.
"Look, I know you're probably still mad at me but-"
"No, no, it's okay. Come over." She makes a note of how worried he sounds.
"I'll be there in ten, okay?"
"Yeah, drive safe."
Maggie sits bouncing her leg at her kitchen table, waiting for him to knock, wondering why the hell he called her at this hour. Despite the almost-screaming match they'd had earlier, she was too concerned to be mad at him, even after how much he pushed, trying to break the walls she'd been raising between them. The walls she hadn't had up since the beginning of their partnership.
When he gets to her apartment door, he hesitates for a second before knocking, afraid she's still mad at him for what he'd tried to force out of her. He takes a deep breath, and knocks on the door.
"You know you have a key right?" she says, half-teasing as she lets him in.
"Yeah, I didn't wanna just barge in and scare you."
The silence between the two is awkward, an unusual circumstance for them. Maggie can't read his expression, his emotions are all over the place. He can hardly look her in the eyes.
"OA, what's up with you? You call me in the middle of the night, and come over looking like you've seen a ghost. You're scaring me."
"You scared me," he says, finally meeting her gaze, "after you got shot, and again after the bomb in the truck."
"OA, I told you-"
"No, don't do that. Don't shut me out. Okay? For god's sake, Maggie, I can't sleep at night because every time I close my eyes, I see you die."
Maggie doesn't know what to say. She had no idea she'd worried him this much.
"You die and I can't save you. I've lost too many people I love, Maggie. I can't lose you too."
"You love me?"
She's a bit stunned. She's never heard him say it before. She knew, it had gone without saying for almost five years at this point, but hearing him say it took her by surprise.
"You're my best friend, Mags; my family. Of course I love you."
Without an ounce of warning he pulls her forward into a tight hug. She's quick to reciprocate, wrapping her arms around his torso. He rests his chin in its usual place when they hug, the top of Maggie's head. He's quiet for a few seconds, just taking in the fact that she's alive.
"Stay here tonight. It's late, and I think we could both use the company." She says, giving his arm a squeeze after they part.
"Are you sure? I honestly thought you'd still be mad at me."
"Yeah, I'm sure, and I'm not mad, OA. I'm sorry for shutting you out."
Staying the night at Maggie's wasn't how he thought that night would end. He also thought it would help with the nightmares. But, he still ended up back at that navy yard, too late to save Maggie. He could've sworn that explosion got bigger and bigger every time.
"Maggie?" Just like last time, he found her face down on the pavement, and he didn't get an answer. Just like last time, she didn't even stir.
"Maggie, wake up." Nothing.
"Maggie, please." Nothing.
He searched for a pulse, nothing.
"MAGGIE!"
He woke shouting her name again, frantically looking around the room, forgetting where he was for a minute. That's when he heard an answer.
"It's okay. It's okay." He felt a hand on his shoulder; instinctively, he turned to see where it came from, Maggie.
"I'm right here, OA. You're okay."
He breathed a sigh of pure relief, "Maggie..."
"It's okay. I'm here."
"I'm sorry." He said, running a hand through his hair.
"You don't have to apologize, I get them too."
He knew, he'd witnessed hers first-hand before, too. Even still, he was glad she understood.
Her hand on his shoulder had become an arm around as much of his broad shoulders as she could reach. She pulled him closer, and he welcomed the embrace. If there were ever an instance that could prove his best friend's hugs had some kind of healing power, this would be it.