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For the first week Beidou’s been wandering around Kazuha, not completely sure how to approach him. She was afraid to scare him off like a whipped puppy with all the direct questions that had been bouncing in her mind. Then she decided to think strategically. There wasn’t a lot of time the captain could spare to have a proper conversation with the boy. And in addition, some kind of untypical indecisiveness took over Beidou who had always been confident in her actions. However… Risking her life at sea and do pirate business was one thing; building up trusting relationship with a nineteen-year-old fugitive on the run turned out to be a whole other thing.
“Yo! Morning, kid,” Beidou went down to the boy’s cabin, carrying a tea bowl she’d snatched away on the go from Yinxing. Whenever she had the time, the captain would go and bring the boy medicine, conveniently using this as an excuse of her being there. Of course, she could’ve just come visit him any time she wanted, but Beidou wouldn’t like to actually do it. There were two main reasons. Firstly, she by any means didn’t want to appear pesky. Second, she had a reputation to maintain. Every sailor on the Ancor knew the captain treated every member equally, never playing favorites. Thus, Kazuha now was nominally a part of the crew. Therefore, he was supposed to be treated like any other member of the team.
Everyone aboard accepted the boy rather warmly, intrigued by his unusual looks and equally unusual arrival. Whenever he came upstairs, sailors would talk to him in a friendly manner, asking him some abstract questions about his occupation, life and things like that. Beidou happened to eavesdrop on a few of these conversations and it left her in quite mixed feelings. Kazuha wouldn’t tell anything more or less certain about himself, resolving to lengthy statements or just remaining silent instead.
“Good morning, captain.” Kazuha was already awake, sitting in bed, eyes still heavy with sleep. Beidou couldn’t contain satisfaction upon seeing the boy getting better with each passing day. Of course, it was mostly thanks to Yinxing’s medical education, but the captain wanted to believe she contributed to it too, even if just a little bit. Two or three days after they took him in, Kazuha spend being delirious because the widespread infection finally took over. Most likely, the boy’d been staying on his two feet thanks to his willpower alone. It was impressing and disturbing at the same time.
“How’d you sleep?” Beidou walked up to the bed and took a seat on the side, handing Kazuha the warm tea bowl. He slightly winced at the sight of it but didn’t say anything. The captain knew that the potion had rather unpleasant bitter and astringent taste but every time made the boy drank the whole thing without slacking off. She wasn’t really there for him during the first days because she needed to close the deal and make sure everything was ready for the departure. It felt like she should make up for it.
“This night was nice,” he answered quietly. Beidou inspected him discreetly, pretending that she looked everywhere but the boy. Didn’t want to make him even more uncomfortable. Without a doubt, Kazuha was slowly getting better, although residual infection was still getting to him; even now, his cheeks were a feverish pink shade, his skin still flaring up with high fever every now and then. Yinxing told it was okay, but her statement didn’t make Beidou worry less.
“Good to know,” she nodded cheerfully, watching Kazuha take a sip and grimace. Few strands of ginger hair fell on his face, and Beidou resisted an urge to tuck them back. He looked so different now, dressed in the typical sailor uniform. Red and white sleeveless shirt was way too loose for the boy’s small frame, hanging on his narrow shoulders. At least, it was clean and fresh, the matter of it fitting him was in the background. They were going to have a chance to get him some decent clothes once they reach the destination. “So, how are you feeling, kid?”
Kazuha kept silent for a couple of moments, as if listening to himself, and then shrugged, “Better than yesterday, not as good as tomorrow.”
“That’s the spirit!” Beidou patted the boy’s shoulder, maybe a bit too hard as he slightly winced from pain. “Oh, my bad…” the captain hurried to make up for it, rubbing his arm instead. “Misjudged my strength here.”
“Don’t be sorry,” Kazuha shook his head sadly, staring at the tea bowl in his hands. “It’s just me losing my own strength, to my shame.
However, these words had the opposite effect, making the captain feel even sorrier for the boy. “Now you’re being sulky,” she clicked her tongue. “That won’t do.”
Kazuha didn’t answer. He seemed to be immersed in his own thoughts, his mind wandering somewhere far away from here. It happened quite a lot during those days, and seeing him like that was really discouraging. Some kind of sickly melancholy was slowly but steadily drawing out his spirits.
“Y’know what?” Beidou suddenly got the idea how to fix it. “Drink up and let’s go join them for breakfast!” she announced, nodding to the ceiling. “How’d you think?”
“I doubt my presence will make any change,” the boy said quietly. “My apologies... Thank you for inviting.”
The captain frowned. “Hey, cheer up! What are you babbling ‘bout?” she walked up to Kazuha and ruffled his hair. “You’re already a part of the ship and crew! More than that, the guys won’t stop talking ‘bout you, everyone waits ‘till you get well and join us for real.”
“I..”
“Now, now, kid! Quit your whining and let’s go. At least, just give it a try, ‘kay? Sit with us a bit, pleasure will come in the process.”
Beidou reached out a hand towards the boy as if inviting. She grinned widely, her face radiating some captivating and comforting impression. Hesitantly, Kazuha looked up, blinking, his heart clearly being in disarray. Then, he reached his hand back to the captain, slowly, cautiously. The moment Kazuha put his narrow cold palm on Beidou’s gloved hand, her grin became even wider. Something started to break inside of the boy; he couldn’t put his finger on what it was exactly, but it sure hurt a lot.
When they went out on deck, there was a lively commotion, some of the sailors tending and repairing sails, the others swabbing. The captain headed straight to the third group of two men located on the lower deck lobby. There was small wooden table set with simple dishes and, of course, a flask, probably filled with rum. Upon seeing two of them approaching, sailors saluted and waved hands welcomingly.
“Mornin’, captain Beidou, kid! Finally we see you!”
Kazuha hesitated for a moment, not quite knowing what to do with himself. It’d been a very long time since he last communicated with so many people at once. However, Beidou noticed it and pushed him forwards, saying, “This lad over here is Kazuha, soon he’ll become one of you! So, take care of him, ‘kay?”
A broad-shouldered black-bearded man on the left saluted, grinning widely. “Ave ave, Captain!”
“Come on, join us!” the other one added, nodding at the empty seats. “The day’s young, so let’s eat first! You’re just in time, all’s hot and fresh!”
They didn’t have to ask Beidou twice, however Kazuha hesitated, his cautious gaze drifting between the rest three. “It’s an honor for me to meet all of you,” he bowed a little, finally making up his mind. “Might I have your names?”
Three of the mariners had the same reaction to his words, equally surprised at first by the boy’s Inazuman manners and way of speech. Although, it made their hearts soften even more.
“No need to be formal with us kid!” said the man on the right, patting Kazuha’s shoulder in a fatherly way. “Name’s Juza, I’m in charge of the lads when Captain Beidou isn’t around.”
The other sailor reached out and shook hands with the boy, saying, “Suling, chief smith.” When Kazuha still pondered, as if waiting for some sort of a permission, Suling added, “No truth in the feet, kid! Come, eat sum grilled fish.”
“Right, don’t be shy!” Juza ruffled the boy’s hair, grinning widely. “We ain’t gonna bite, ‘kay?”
Beidou watched them approvingly, and when Kazuha instinctively turned to her, seeking for some kind of back up, she only nodded encouragingly.
“I really am grateful for everything,” he said, then pausing for a moment. “Nevertheless, I can’t help but wonder, how can you trust a complete stranger like me? I feel a little bit guilty about enjoying your hospitality.”
Not expecting such a remark, Beidou hemmed but decided not to interfere, curious about the crew’s reaction. It was not long an coming anyways: two men burst out laughing almost immediately after processing newbie’s words.
“That was a good one, kid!” Suling answered. “Been a while since I met such a poetic soul. Wanna be our bard?”
Kazuha looked down, clearly embarrassed. “Jokes aside, we trust our captain’s judgement, kid,” continued the sailor in a bit more serious voice. “If Captain Beidou brought you here, it was for a good reason, then. She’s never wrong ‘bout choosing the right mates.”
“I… see,” Kazuha glanced at the captain, some unreadable expression on his face.
“More of it,” Juza chimed in. “You shouda seen how Captain was worried sick ‘bout you when you were in a fever! It’s not every day we can see her like that.”
Beidou smacked the man on the back of his head slightly, “That wasn’t necessary. I was worried as much as anyone else.”
“Sure thing,” Suling echoed. “Actually, we too were watching after you back then, don’t blame you don’t remember. You’re really tough, I’ll tell you this.”
Kazuha’s cheeks flushed ever so slightly, but he kept his composure. “I’m deeply indebted,” he answered. “I will make sure to do my best in helping you…”
“Al’righ, enough of the talking!” Beidou clapped twice. “Food’s gettin’ cold while you’re chatterin’!”
The captain was relieved that everything went more than well. Of course, she didn’t doubt her own crew. Most of all, she was afraid of Kazuha’s reaction as he still seemed to be lost in a way. It was understandable, though. She just wanted to help as much as she can. Healing never was a fast process, so it couldn’t be hurried. She could only hope that everything would work out well for all of them.
“By the way, are you really a samurai?”
“You may say so. Although I am more of a wanderer. My sword comes as a supplement, but not the main thing.”
“If you don’t mind, I took care of your sword. It’s an interesting one, though. It’s true that Inazuman blacksmithing’s one of the skilled ones.”
“Shame how things turned out,” Juza sighed. “All the vision hunt and stuff. You were chased down as well, right? No foul, but we saw your vision, kid.”
Kazuha swallowed hard. “Which one?” he asked silently so that only Beidou could hear him. She slid her hand under the table and patted the boy’s knee reassuringly.
“Have ya no shame?” she asked half-jokingly. “At least feed the kid first! Keep your prying for later, ‘kay?”
“Sorry, kid! Weren’t mean to upset you. Here, have some! You’re all skin and bones, look at you.”
Kazuha ate slowly, chewing a little bite for a long while, not wanting to offend the captain and sailors. He was still nauseous from infection and seasickness that was slowly kicking in. The mariners soon struck up a conversation about the matters at hand, but the boy was only half-listening, consumed by his own gloomy thoughts. It didn’t really occur to him where his friend’s vision was during that time. His own was placed at a bedside table, although he didn’t even dare to touch it. Something was irreparably broken. If Kazuha could touch his Vision again, it wouldn’t be until he fixes that gnawing guilt of his.
“Kid, still sulking?” Juza patted the boy’s back, pulling him back to reality. He shoved the flask in Kazuha’s hands, smiling conspiratorial. “Here, have some, it’ll chase away the sadness.”
“No way!” Beidou grabbed the flask back and shook her fist at the sailor. “No molesting the kid!” She took a few sips herself, adding after that, “Not on my watch.”
It caused a good laugh, and with the corner of her eye, the captain noticed even Kazuha smiling ever so slightly. It gave her more hope. Everything was going to be fine eventually.
When everyone finished eating, Juza and Suling bowed out, patting the boy’s back and head one last time before heading off. Beidou also had to take care of some business, so Kazuha went back to his cabin to rest a little. He stretched out on the bed, staring at the ceiling with a blank stare. Everything still seemed like a fever dream. For a moment, he even wondered, if he was dying in reality, and all that was happening now was just his deathbed visions. Maybe he died in Tenshukaku. Maybe he was lying on the floor next to his friend, bleeding and hallucinating.
In his stream of thoughts, Kazuha even went as far as purposely pressing on his wound, believing that he wouldn’t feel any pain if it truly was a hallucination. It hurt a lot actually. He rolled onto his side, clutching his stomach. Maybe it was a reality, after all. His gaze stumbles upon a dim green semi-sphere, lying on the bedside table, abandoned and lifeless. Sudden tears came to his eyes, running all the way down to form a wet puddle on a pillow. Kazuha hadn’t cried for a long while, and now he felt that he was going to go all out, so he stopped himself, wiping his eyes and sighing. He’d already embarrassed himself enough, so the last think Kazuha wanted was for any of those people to see him crying.
Just as he thought it, he heard familiar footsteps, and the next minute none other than the captain entered the cabin.
“Yo, how are ya doing?” she asked. “Did those buttheads make you sad? I’ve already kicked their asses, so don’t worry.”
Kazuha shook his head, “They didn’t do anything. I just… Have a lot to think over. I apologize if I seem distant.”
Beidou didn’t answer, getting serious in an instant. She took a seat on the side of the bed, taking the boy’s hand. “Hey, I know what you’re thinking,” she said quietly. “Probably blaming yourself and stuff, I can see it. Not that it’s any of my business but I want you to understand that you can trust us. I know it all is sudden and hard…”
“Where is his Vision?” Kazuha asked almost under his breath, avoiding looking her in the eye. Beidou pulled something from her belt and put it into the boy’s hand. He clutched his trembling fingers around the lifeless Vision and pressed it to his chest, letting out a wet sigh. It felt burning hot to his skin but Kazuha knew it was just his imagination. It hurt more than the wound on his stomach.
The captain kept silent, with a heavy heart watching the boy grieving. Nothing she could say was enough to ease his pain. The captain perfectly knew that Kazuha should let it pass himself. It was rather discouraging to see the tears rolling down his face quietly. She couldn’t stop herself from reaching out to the boy, rubbing soothing circles on his back.
Walking out of the cabin as Kazuha cried himself to sleep, Beidou sighed. Healing a flesh wound is much easier than trying to heal a wounded soul.