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Little by little, Rei's normal routine began to change. He didn’t know when it started happening, but waking up in Kaoru’s arms became normal.
Instead of moping around in the house all day, Rei had someone who dragged him around, showing him things he never knew about. From teaching him about different types of plants and animals, to making him try a dish he’d never had before.
Ever since Kaoru came to live with him, there was never a day without excitement. He was like the embodiment of the sun, bright and blinding. Sometimes, Rei would have to look away from that brilliant smile.
It was the first time in years Rei felt alive.
Winter passed by and spring finally began. The trees grew their green leaves once more and the plants around the home flourished. Pink, white, and yellow flowers littered the ground, their scents faint, but sweet. Every week or so, Rei would come home from running errands to see a new flower bouquet displayed on the window sill.
It was a bright sunny day, the clouds white and fluffy in the sky. Kaoru was doing laundry, hanging up the blankets on a string attached to wooden poles. Underneath the shade of a tree, Rei was drawing, tsk-ing to himself and looking up at Kaoru once in a while. The blonde sang a random tune under his breath, hanging up the last of the blankets.
“Kaoru, do you perhaps like singing?” Rei was still sketching, his pencil moving furiously. “I hear you quite frequently.”
Kaoru chuckled awkwardly. “Well, I mean, singing makes the chores go faster.” He then rubbed the back of his neck. “Ah~ hopefully I didn’t make your ears bleed.”
“Oh no, no, you have a lovely singing voice.” Rei erased a stray mark on the drawing. “I enjoy being in the presence of your singing.”
“Really~? I’m flattered~” Kaoru laughed, finishing up hanging up the laundry.
If someday, I no longer had this voice, would you still, even then, stay by my side?
Wiping his hands on his apron, Kaoru then walked over to where Rei sat. The latter immediately closed up his sketchbook and quickly placed it beside him. Kaoru tilted his head, “What are you drawing anyways? Is it something so naughty that even I can't look at it?”
“No, no, nothing of that sort! It’s just something I’d like to keep private for a while.” Rei avoided eye contact. Suddenly, he let out a yawn, blinking away the tears that formed.
Kaoru sat down next to him, stretching his arms above his head. “You tired?”
“Just a bit. The sunlight today feels stronger than usual, it’s sapping away my energy.” Sighing, Rei rested his head against the tree.
Kaoru stared at a piece of grass, his eyebrows furrowed. “Um, do you – uh…” His face burned with embarrassment. He couldn't finish his sentence, there was no way he could without feeling the very strong urge to repeatedly smack his head against the tree.
Rei raised an eyebrow, “Hm? There’s no need for you to be afraid of speaking your mind.”
Kaoru took a deep breath, looking away with his face flushed as he awkwardly patted his lap. Rei blankly stared at him for a moment. Then, his face turned bright red, finally understanding. It took a few moments for Rei to muster up the courage to slowly lean down and lay his head on Kaoru’s lap. After getting comfortable, Rei mumbled,
“If that was all you wanted, you could have said something.”
“Nah. If I did, I would have a concussion right about now.” Rei looked at him quizzically and Kaoru shrugged in response, moving to gently run his hands through Rei’s dark hair.
The two gazed at each other with poorly hidden affection while resting in the shade, listening to the wind rustling the leaves.
The seasons flew by without Rei even noticing. It’s now been a year ever since Kaoru had come to live with him. Though, it was almost as if they were still strangers. Rei still didn’t know much about the mysterious young man. Whenever he would try to inquire more about Kaoru’s past, he would change the topic quickly. Rei didn't want to overstep his boundaries, but he wanted to bring the distance between the two of them closer.
But, he didn’t mean to find out more about Kaoru this way.
It was a normal winter day, the skies gray with snowfall. Rei was leaving for the village to gather more art supplies while Kaoru was expected to do chores at home. After wearing his cloak, Rei turned to Kaoru, giving him a smile like usual.
“I’ll be off now, don’t push yourself too hard.”
Kaoru grinned, giving him a slight wave. “I won’t. See ya, Rei~ stay warm.”
Rei then exited the house. He walked a few steps but suddenly turned back around, forgetting to grab his gloves.
“Kaoru! I’ve forgot–” Swiftly opening the door, he froze at what he saw.
A yellow fox stood in the middle of the room, its tail raised. Kaoru was nowhere in sight.
Ah. I was too careless.
Kaoru thought, his heart plummeting to the pit of his stomach. He trembled, watching Rei’s eyes widen.
“K-kaoru?” Rei whispered, hesitantly stepping into the house.
And so, Kaoru did what he did best.
He ran.
Ignoring Reis' calls, Kaoru fled into the snow covered forest, disappearing from sight. The snowfall grew harsh and the snow flew wildly around Kaoru, ruffling his fur. Rei was bound to know that he’s able to turn into a fox, but why did he have to find out this way? Kaoru slowed to a stop, burying his snout in his paws.
From all the time he’d spent with Rei, Kaoru knew he was a very understanding and kind person, there was no doubt about it. But, that didn’t quell the fear of revealing his identity. If Rei finds out he’s not completely human, would he still…be okay staying with him? He gritted his teeth, a low growl escaping his throat.
Kaoru cursed himself for being careless. Every moment together with Rei felt like a dream and he didn’t want to lose what they had. It was the happiest he’d been in ages and he wished he could stay like this forever. But, that was naive of him to think. Of course he had to go and mess everything up.
“Kaoru! Are you out there?! Answer me!”
Kaoru flinched, running to hide beneath the pine tree branches.
Rei then came into view, his nose red from the cold and his eyes filled with worry. “K-kaoru, please…come back.” He stopped, bending over to catch his breath. Persisting through his exhaustion, he stood up straight again. Roaming the woods, he continued calling out Kaorus' name.
Gray skies turned dark, the snowfall getting heavier by the second. Rei’s voice grew hoarse from yelling, his hands and face numb from the wind. It’s going to be okay, he thought. I’ll find him, just a little longer, just a little longer.
Kaoru, please don’t go.
He then heard a howl close by. Newfound energy coursed through his veins as he stumbled desperately toward the noise. But just when he thought he was near the source, the howling went further and further away. Cold air pierced his lungs as he fought through the snowstorm, blindly following the sound.
Suddenly, the howling stopped somewhere in front of him. Rei squinted to see if he could see the animal, but all he saw was an outline of a building instead.
The howling led him back home.
A wave of hopelessness washed over him and he collapsed onto his knees. Lifting his head up to the sky, he called out Kaoru’s name once more and everything went black.
Kaoru, who was hiding behind the house, immediately transformed back into a human and ran towards Rei's side. Grunting, he hoisted him up, quickly bringing him inside.
After getting Rei situated next to the fire pit with lots of blankets, something in Rei’s bag caught Kaoru’s eyes. Hesitantly taking out the neatly folded paper, he began to slowly open it.
It was a hand drawn portrait of him.
He was smiling, his face turned to the side in the middle of hanging up laundry. His hair was drawn wildly around him, framing his face with carefully sketched lines. The picture seemed to be unfinished from the way it was only half shaded.
Gripping the paper tighter, Kaoru felt tears well up in his eyes, slowly trickling down his cheeks. He turned to gaze at Rei, the man's eyebrows slightly furrowed in his slumber. Reaching forward to gently move a strand of raven hair away from his face, Kaoru’s hand lingered on Rei’s cheek.
If someday I was no longer human, would you still stay by my side?
Rei woke up cold, very cold. He cracked open his eyes, his vision fuzzy. Outside, snow fluttered down from the light grey skies, silence surrounding the home. Sitting up sluggishly, he looked around at his surroundings.
The fire pit in the middle of the room seemed to have recently burned out, the ashes littering the bottom. On the table beside Rei’s drawing supplies, was a neat line of paper cranes.
And curled up in the corner of the room, was Kaoru.
Slight shivers racked his sleeping form, his breathing slow and steady. A feeling of relief rushed through Rei’s body.
Unable to hold himself back, Rei quietly got up and moved under the blanket next to Kaoru. Enveloping him in an embrace from behind, he buried his face in his shoulder. He felt Kaoru stir, mumbling incoherently before tensing up.
“R-rei?”
“Kaoru.” As he said Kaoru’s name, Rei could feel him struggling to escape his hold.
“I–I can explain–!”
Rei swung his leg over, fully trapping him in his embrace. “Be quiet for a moment.”
Kaoru immediately froze.
Time ticked by, and Kaoru was getting more and more nervous. Finally fed up with the silence, he decided to take one last shot of escaping.
“Rei! Can you please say something and let me go?!” He grunted, trying to wrestle his way out of Rei’s unrelenting grip.
Then, just for a moment, he felt Rei’s embrace loosen. He scrambled to escape, only to be pinned back down with startling strength with Rei’s hands beside his head.
“...Kaoru.”
The blonde flipped his head to the side, avoiding eye contact. “If you’re going to kick me out, just say so alread–”
“Kaoru.” Rei interrupted. “Do I really need to spell it out for you?” A hint of frustration laced Rei’s voice, his hands gripping the blanket below them.
“I love you.”
At this, Kaoru blinked, turning his head to meet Rei’s gaze.
“W-what?”
“I love you.” Rei repeated.
“If…” Kaoru whispered slowly, “If someday I was no longer human, would you still love me?”
“Of course I would,” Rei answered with no hesitation.
Instead of a reply, only silence was heard.
Kaoru’s expression was unreadable, his grey eyes staring blankly at him. Did Rei say something wrong? Was Kaoru uncomfortable with this development? He gulped, anticipating the worst.
Suddenly, Kaoru let out a wail, covering his face with his hands.
“K-kaoru?! Is something the matter? Are you alright?” Rei scrambled to get off of him, watching with concern as the latter shot up with his hands still covering half of his face.
“How can you say that stuff so easily~?!” Kaoru glared at him, and Rei finally noticed the deep red blush that stained his cheeks and ears. Closing his eyes, Kaoru then took slow breaths. “...If you change your mind after this, I won’t blame you.”
In a blink of an eye, Kaoru was suddenly replaced by a fox with yellow-gold fur. Tilting its head at Rei, the fox's fluffy tail swished back and forth.
Rei sat there dumbfounded, staring at the animal. Slowly reaching over, his hand hovered over the fox; silently asking for permission. In response, the fox closed its eyes, pushing its head into his palm.
Overwhelmed by the softness, Rei couldn’t move as the fox repeatedly nuzzled its head against his hand. Once it seemed satisfied, it playfully bit Rei’s finger, licking it apologetically afterwards.
The next moment, Kaoru was back to being human. Rei blinked at the fast transformation, his hand still in midair. “You…”
Kaoru awkwardly laughed, fiddling with his fingers. “Uh. Yeah.”
“That’s…fascinating.” Rei said slowly.
“I-I know it’s weird! So–um. I can just lea–” As Kaoru got up, a hand quickly grabbed his own.
Rei looked at him pleadingly, gripping his hand tighter. “Kaoru, please don’t go. Even though I’m quite shocked, to say the least, my feelings for you have not changed at all.” He gulped,
“You are still the Kaoru I fell in love with. So, will you… stay with me?” Rei asked hesitantly, looking away.
A few seconds passed before Kaoru replied quietly, “Y-yeah…that’d be nice.” Feeling his face heat up, tears began to uncontrollably trickle down his face, dropping onto the bedding below. Covering his face quickly, he sniffled, “S-sorry, ignore me. I don’t know why…”
Reaching for Kaoru, Rei eased off his hands, uncovering his tear soaked face. Rei then silently tugged Kaoru into his arms, holding him close to his shoulder. Gently swaying side to side, Rei ran his hands through soft blonde locks.
Kaoru always longed to be held like this again, for someone to tell him they love him. A past memory of his deceased mother weaved into his mind, and he began to cry harder against his will, clutching Rei tightly.
After she left to the world of the dead, Kaoru had nowhere to go. He was unable to contact his other family members, who all suddenly disappeared one day. Fending for himself, he tried living a normal human life. But, because he was young, he was unable to control his shifting and the townspeople found out his secret. They were disgusted and afraid, wanting nothing to do with a monster.
Soon, Kaoru gave up trying to find someone to accept him for who he was. Locking a part of himself away, he never told anyone his secret. Whenever someone would be suspicious, or pry too much, he would run before they found out. Wandering around aimlessly, he lived jumping between the wilderness and human life.
This was better for everyone, right? There was no need for anyone to know more than what they could see.
But deep within himself, a little fox was alone, seeking someone, anyone, that would accept him; to give him love.
And finally, the little fox found that person. Taking the outstretched hand, he was wrapped in warmth for the first time in years.
After the waterworks died down, the two young men stayed in their positions, resting in each other's presence. Rei continued to run his hands softly through Kaoru’s hair, humming the tune Kaoru had sung before.
“Kaoru, do you perhaps recall the day we met? It was snowing, just like today.”
Kaoru snapped his head upwards in Rei’s direction, his eyes wide. “You…remember?”
“I’ve never forgotten, even now, the gold fox I saw that day.” Rei smiled fondly, reminiscing about the past.
“Hey…” Kaoru sat up straighter to face Rei. “Thanks.”
“Hm? For what?” Rei tilted his head.
“For loving me the way I am.” Kaoru answered simply.
Rei's gaze softened. “Kaoru, even if you lose your beautiful singing voice, or if you were no longer human, even then,” Leaning their foreheads together, he smiled warmly,
“I would still love you.”