Chapter Text
"Do you believe in happily ever Afters?", Damian had asked Tim one night after patrol, then he didn't know how to respond to that. But now?
He knows the exact answer, 'no'.
Is there someone who would ever get a happy ending? No one in their family that's for sure. Some where along the line they failed. Kept failing each other. It was almost like they were never meant to love each other, because one moment Tim was actually getting closer to Damian.
The next? He was dead. Gone. Buried. Deceased. Lifeless. Cold. Stiff forever.
Tim really wanted to believe someone, anyone really, when they said that it'll all be okay. Because it doesn't feel okay to him.
"Tt, Drake I don't know why anyone would ever speak to you. You're to useless to be Robin", Damian had said, Tim ignored him until he eventually stopped. So quietly Tim almost missed it the first time, "I liked the way you fought tonight...". After everything he had said that night, all the remakes.
He complimented him, Tim didn't understand that then. But now he does.
Tim missed him so much, it hurt so bad to even be in the Manor. Is this what it feels like to lose a little brother? Now he understood why Dick is the way he is, almost trying to shield then and protect them.
If only he had been given the chance to help Damian, he would have. Protected him, made him safe once more.
Dick cries and grieves unlike Tim had ever seen him do before. He screams and wails at night, he never leaves Damian's room. Watches any video possible of Damian on loop.
"He isn't grieving a brother, he's grieving a son", Steph had said one night when Dick wasn't doing to well. He had days when he was able to talk for some periods then other days where he would shut down and scream.
Tim wishes so badly that Damian didn't always have to be such a twerp. That he could learn to stay back when they told him, but that's just what made him perfect to be a Robin.
Robin's don't listen, none of them ever had. Not to each other and especially not to Bruce. Robin's resemble hope, renewal and rebirth, but it's never felt that way.
No, it's always felt like darkness slowly taking over each of it's inhabits.
The first time Tim broke down in front of Cameras Is when some reporters sprung the question of 'who in the family is responsible for Damian Wayne's death'. It's not the worse question they've gotten about anything really.
But it..caught him off guard. Made him freeze, because they all know who is responsible for his death.
Thinking about it makes it harder too, makes it unbearable really.
Tim see's him everywhere, any kid walking by that could possible resemble him makes his head turn.
Of course they never are his little brother, who is currently 6 feet deep.
"Demon, move", Tim had yelled when he heard the gun go off, he screamed his head off when he saw blood. It had been the first time he almost lost His little brother, he thought he had lost him.
He cried and cried until Alfred finally removed the bullet. Saying that he would be okay and he was 'a very resilient lad'. It was also the first time Tim had hugged Damian and that Damian had allowed it .
When he see's things in stores that Damian would have liked, sometimes he buys it and sets it in Damian's room. In a place he knows Damian would have put it himself.
It's easier to act like Damian is alive but just not there then admitting he's dead and isn't anywhere.
Sometimes just sometimes, Tim hears Damian's evil little laugh when he achieved something or the sound of a katana against the wind. Or even his voice calling out 'Drake'.
He snapped when he heard someone call him 'Drake' after Damian died, he told them that the name was reserved for someone else.
He didn't even realize he was saying the words, until they fell out of his mouth.
The family was already falling apart, but now it's into so many pieces not even Dick can put it back together.
Not that he's trying, kind of the opposite. He stopped talking to everyone, comes to the Manor to sit by Damian's grave for hours.
Bruce doesn't try either, he stays on patrol till he passes out. Refuses to eat some days, violent other, never trying to talk to anyone.
Dick and Bruce haven't shared a word to each other since Damian died.
Not even a glance.
Jason comes around a little more then usual, but even he is silent. He wanders as if he's looking for something and retreats when he can't find it.
Tim hasn't seen Steph in months, Nor Cass. They send messages sure, but he never answers them.
"I think I like strawberry the most", Tim heard Damian say to Dick, who simply beamed. "Tim loves the strawberry flavor too", Dick had said making Tim looked at him confused as to why he had brought that up.
"Well then Drake has great taste for once", A simple compliment from Damian over something so small made him brighten up. He knows Dick knows if too by the grin he gave him.
Even Damian's pets wait for him to return, running to see who came through the door. Never him. They always immediately go back to being sorrow afterwards.
Tim doesn't even want to know how long this pain in his chest will last. How long until he feels like himself again.
He realizes the answer, is never. Never will anything be the same, Damn you Damian Wayne who came into his life like a tornado and left like one too.
Destroying everything, then helping rebuild it, only to destroy it again.
Please come home, I'll let you have anything you want. All the strawberry ice creams, all my stuff, hell I'll even give you the other half on my spleen.
Just come back...
The short answer to your question, Dami. Is I don't believe in happily ever Afters, not for people like us.
'I felt like I had died too, and they just forgot to bury me'.