Chapter Text
“It’s a shitty idea.”
“Ben, you have shitty ideas all the time and I don’t see you complaining. Besides, it’s one of the least shitty ones, if you ask me”
“Thank you, Rey. It’s so reassuring to talk with you.” Ben sighed and rolled his eyes. Rey grinned like it was an unironical complement. With resignation he took his books from school locker and closed it with more force than it was necessary.
“You know, it’s really easy for you to say. Boys and girls are at your feet everyday, but it doesn’t make you a reliable wingman. It just means you are pretty and funny and stuff. Some people have to actually work for someone to like them.” it was Rey’s time to roll her eyes at Ben’s words.
“Who said you aren’t pretty, funny and stuff? You are so stupid and stubborn sometimes. If you weren’t my cousin I don’t think I would survive your aura of self-pity and whining.”
“Great, then I will save you from your suffering and go, you are welcome.” Ben turned on his heel and stormed to his class biting the inside of his cheek, annoyed. Rey tried to add something, it was close to apology, but he was already too far to hear her through the hall noise.
Her words were true, but it didn’t erase the twinge in his heart at them. It was no news Ben wasn’t extacly the star in school, but to hear that it’s exhausting to just be around him was a different kind of unpleasant.
He was deep in bitter thoughts entering the classroom, when something distracted him. Someone, particularly. Armitage was laughing at something with Phasma, wrinkles around his eyes, freckles highlighted by the sun coming from open window.
It was beautiful and rare view to see him without cold, stern face. Ben’s breath was taken for another few seconds until someone pushed him through the door with annoyed mutter. Chastised, he dragged himself to his desk, still thinking about the redhead and how he is both the reason for his happiness and miserability. Today’s encounter with Rey started because of him either.
Stupid, stupid Valentine’s day. Ben cursed this holiday under his breath again. As someone who wasn’t even close to be wooed by someone, god forbid to be in relationship, he was no fan of the sugary and overrated atmosphere around this day. In three days everything was going to be covered in hearts and no one will shut up about love and how it’s the best thing that had ever happened to them. Ben surely wasn’t bitter he didn’t have a date to celebrate. It also wasn’t painfull at all that every valentine card he has ever got were from Rey, Finn or his mom either.
Out of frustration Ben stopped pretending that he cares about anything that the teacher says during this class and looked around himself. Poe was playing games on his phone with very concentrated look on his face. In front of him, Mitaka and Thannison were whispering passionately, giggling and trying to surpress their excitement about something. Ben watched carefully how Thanisson put his hand on Dopheld’s forearm when he was laughing and how quickly Mitaka blushed from it. He frowned and made mental note to observe their relationship further.
Mitaka was his pain in the ass when it came to Hux. Everyone, including Hux himself, always knew about his little crush on him and nothing has ever came of it, but Ben was anxious that one day Dopheld would impress Armitage enough to have interest in him. Especially when he joined Hux’s small group of close friends.
Ben involuntary shifted his attention to said redhead. As always, Hux was listening closely and making notes firecely. His devotion to education was showing through his grades. It was well known that if someone was to get the best results and scholarship, it was Hux.
There was the time when instead of getting respect for it, people would bully him ouf of jealosuy. That’s how he and Ben really met, Ben standing up for him against the hateful, stonger classmates. He always knew kids can be vile, he experienced it himself. Armitage has never shown any kind of gratitude, but it didn’t scare Ben away. Deep down he knew, that Hux was grateful, but he hated acting on it, and the more important- he hated pity. So, Ben settled for Armitage not being as mean to him as to the rest of the world. It was honestly a big achievement.
Ben realized he was staring, so he shifted his gaze to look through the window, but his head was still full of Hux. He was utterly fucked, it was obvious from the very first moment he felt his heart skipping a beat when Armitage laughed loudly at something he said. Since then Ben has wanted to catch and keep to himself their every moment together, engrave them in his mind, even the bad ones. Hux smiling and calling a kitten on the streat. Hux rolling his eyes at stupid jokes Ben makes all the time. Hux trembling with a cup of steaming hot chocolate in hands on their school trip to London in the middle of winter. Hux calling him an immature man-child when he spilled drinks on his shirts.
It was wounding for Ben to keep his feelings away, hiding them from the world, although Rey once said she is geniuely surprised Armitage has never noticed his heart-eyes. She was nagging him all the time to stop fucking around and confess his feelings.
As if it was so easy.
He thought about it, actually he was loosing his sleep over it. Thousands of fake scenarios, different approaches, various outcomes. Each one seemed to be unreal and either extremely negative or not possible to fulfill.
I don’t want to lose a friend. If he was kind enough to not turn his back to me immediately, probably disgusted, it would be too awkward to contiunue any friendship anyway. I can’t do this. I will live with my stupid crush on him, not a big deal.
Except it was a big deal. Huge even. It pained him to see Hux everyday and feel he will never be his. That most of his smiles and snorts are neither for Ben nor because of him. Out of desperation he even had this stupid idea to admit his feelings on Valentine’s Day, somehow. That’s what the fight with Rey was earlier about.
I shouldn’t had told her. He thought, frowning.
How would it even go? He would laugh at me if I made him a valentine card, probably calling me a child again. Try to kiss him in the “kissing booth” some class decided to make for fun in the hallway? He would probably hit me or kill me right away for the audacity. There is no way to do this right.
The bell ringed. Has it really been an hour? The students went for a break, most of them to cafeteria. Ben followed them, suddenly feeling ravenous. With the poor choice of food, he decided to go for two portions of tomato soup with chicken. He took his tray and looked for free spot to sit down.
Someone was waving at him. It was Poe, sitting at the almost full table, along with Rey, Phasma, Mitaka and Hux. It was unusual sight, them all in the same place willfully. Maybe Phasma mostly got along with Rey, but his and Hux’s friend grup didn’t really like each other. He walker over to them and took last place, next to slightly uneasy, but polite Mitaka.
“What’s up Ben? You seem to be absent today.” Poe nudged him with his foot under the table.
“Nothing special. I just didn’t have enough sleep.” Ben mumbled with his mouth already full of surprisingly good soup. Armitage wrinkled his nose and muttered something that sounded like “Ew.” under his breath.
“I see that we have two grumpy cats today. How about a party? Have ya’ll heard? There will be some Valentine’s Day dance in our school. We could smuggle some alcohol and have fun for once. Who’s interested?” Poe raised his hands and looked expectantly around himself.
“Do you have any thought in your brain that doesn’t involve getting drunk or high all the time?” Rey sighed, but there was no real bite in her words.
“Darling, you don’t want to know what sits in my head, unless you are into that.” He winked at her. Mitaka giggled on the other side of the table.
“Well, the offer still is up. Who is going to have some fun? Huxy, how about you?”
“Unlikely. I'm not interested in seeing you groping everyone around and probably destroy some of the school’s equipment, thank you very much. Besides, I have heard about this party, you need a date to even get in.” Hux said in flat tone, gaze fixed on his lunch in front of him.
“Come on, don’t tell me you wouldn’t find anyone to go with. You have a whole range of choices here. Look, I think Mitaka would cream his pants if you asked him.” Everyone besides Hux and Mitaka laughed a bit, and Dopheld got very, very red immediately, gritting his teeth.
“That’s not true! You are rude, and I’ve already got a date!” He looked like he was on the verge of tears and stormed out of the cafeteria, his hands clenched into fists.
Poe was impressed and coughed awkwardly under Hux’s piercing, angry gaze. For a moment everyone at the table was silent.
“I’m not going to sit with such an uncivilised oaf like you, let alone go partying. You are disgusting, I’m leaving too.” Armitage stood up, ready to go.
“Come on, I didn’t really mean that. I will apologise to him later, anyway, the idea is that you could go with anyone. Why not Ben?”
In that moment Ben’s heart skipped a beat and he was very regretful that Poe’s balls weren’t in the range of his leg to kick him. Hux’s face hasn’t changed a bit and he still looked very determined to leave, not giving a thought to Poe’s suggestion. It was more hurtful than he expected, piercing pain going through his chest. Of course Hux wouldn’t go with him, why would he?
Armitage took his tray into his hands and turned on the heel, when Poe added:
“I heard that there will be a draw, three pairs will get free tickets for a plane to Paris. You know, the town of love.” This stopped Hux in tracks, still turned to the rest of the group with his back. He seemed to think about it intensively, biting the inside of his cheek. Ben thought back to the time when he was listening to Hux telling him passionately how much he would like to visit Musée de l'Armée. He couldn’t care less about some military place with plenty of boring exhibitions, but seeing Armitage so invested was worth it.
“I will consider it.” He said and went in the same direction where Mitaka had ran away a moment ago.
The rest of the meal was awkward, Poe tried to start any conversation with no results, Phasma eating methodically, looking into her plate, Rey burning holes through Ben with her eyes. He gave her “piss off” look, but deep down he knew what she was trying to tell him. This might be his only reasonable chance to get Hux’s attention. He has got a mission: invite Armitage Hux to go to the dance with him.