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Christine lugged her violin case down the halls of her high school, ignoring the stares of other students she accidentally ran into. She dove into the nearest restroom and locked herself into the first empty stall. She covered her mouth to muffle her sobs.
After a few minutes, someone knocked on her stall. “Go away,” she said.
“Chrissy, it’s me,” Meg said. “I know you’re upset, please open the door.”
Slowly, Christine unlatched the stall and let Meg pull her out of the stall. “They didn’t give me the position. I gave it everything and they gave the last violin position to fucking Charlotte. Mrs. Waverly said that I just was missing something special in my performance. This was my last shot, Meg.”
“Mrs. Waverly is a cunt.” Meg put her hand on Christine’s shoulder. “Listen to me, Christine Daaé. You’re going to graduate top of your class and you are going to get far away from this town, with or without a position in the orchestra.”
Christine didn’t have the heart to tell her that she’d never be able to leave even if she did have the means.
She walked to the bathroom mirror and worked on fixing her blue eyeshadow. Meg said, “Come on, it’s our free period. Let’s go have some fun! And maybe things will seem better.”
Christine finally nodded and let her friend lead her back into the hall. At the other end of the hall, she heard a commotion. Her grip tightened around Meg’s arm. “Let’s see what’s going on.”
They jogged to the end of the hall. A group of students had circled around what was happening, chanting, “Fight, fight…”
Christine pushed her way through the crowd and her heart sunk. In the middle, her boyfriend Raoul swung his fists at the school loner, Erik.
Christine always avoided him. Everyone did, really. What was there to say to a boy who wore a mask over his face and glared at anyone who looked at him for too long? To a boy who was graduating two years late because he couldn’t pass a class? The only time anyone dealt with him supposedly was to meet him in the woods behind the school to buy some pot.
Christine yelled, “Raoul, stop it!” She stepped forward, but Meg pulled her back. “Raoul stop! Please, you’re scaring me.”
Raoul paused a moment, fist raised and blood running from a probably broken nose. Then he lowered his fist and backed towards Christine. “Stay out of my way, you freak.”
Erik flipped him the bird and started walking away. Raoul continued, “You’ll never graduate anyways.”
Erik turned around and stuck his finger in Raoul’s face. “I will graduate this year. I will walk across that stage, snatch up my diploma, and run like hell out of this place.”
Christine grabbed Raoul’s arm and pulled him back. It looked as if he was ready to start fighting again. But then, Erik pushed his way out of the circle of students. Raoul wrapped an arm around Christine’s shoulders and kissed the top of her head.
She felt a drop of blood from Raoul’s nose trickled down her ear and she felt like throwing up and running far away. She dug her fingernails into her palms and forced herself to stay there, his arm wrapped around her shoulders, anchoring her in place.
Christine desperately tried to clear the table off as boxed mac and cheese cooked on the stove. Her hands trembled as she saw the hospital bills hidden in the pile that should’ve been paid months ago. She gave up on the stack on the table and poured the mac and cheese into two bowls.
She carried them into the living room and found her dad asleep in his chair, the television playing some news story about how Dungeons and Dragons might lead to ritual killings. She touched her dad’s shoulder. “Daddy, wake up. I made supper.”
He startled awake and then took the bowl into his bony hands. “Thank you, my darling.”
He had barely eaten a spoonful before he said, “Oh, wasn’t your audition today? When do I get to hear my girl perform in the orchestra?”
Christine’s heart sank, and she stirred her food. “Daddy, I didn’t make it on the orchestra.”
“What do you mean?”
“They said I didn’t have the heart or something.”
“You’re a great violinist, Christine! You’re better than that. What happened?”
“I don’t know, Daddy! I don’t know.” She put her bowl to the side and covered her face.
Her dad was quiet for a moment before he said, “I’m sorry. I’m pushing too hard. I’m sorry.”
Christine nodded. “It’s okay.”
Fifteen minutes later, she took both of their bowls back to the kitchen—hers still almost full—and then washed them and put them away. Then, she ran upstairs and shut herself into her room. Christine grabbed the nearest pillow and screamed into it. Why did everything have to be so hard? Why couldn’t she find a way to relax, just for an hour or so?
And that was when the plan first popped into her mind.
Christine sat at her desk and chewed on her fingernails throughout first period. As soon as class was dismissed, she made her way to her locker and switched her textbooks. She sneaked a look towards the end of the line of lockers and saw Erik as his locker. She rested her hand on the door to hers, trying to stop her hand from shaking. Then, she took a deep breath, made sure no one was paying attention, and walked up to him.
“I saved your ass yesterday. You owe me one.”
He snorted. “I had it under control.”
Christine crossed her arms. “My boyfriend is the quarterback, and you look like Coach Hawkins could snap you in half. I still don’t like your odds.”
Erik turned around and looked at her out of the corner of his eye. “Fine. What do you want from me?”
She took a deep breath. “After school, you and me, in the woods behind the school. For…you know…”
He raised an eyebrow. “Oh. Okay. Yeah, don’t forget your money.”
Christine clutched her physics textbook to her chest and nodded. Then, quickly, she walked to her classroom, not daring to look at anyone else. Throughout the rest of the day, she chewed on her fingernails, wondering if she should just stand him up. God, her dad would be furious if he ever found out.
A part of her wanted to still do it for that fact alone.
As the last bell rang, Meg linked her arms in hers and Raoul jogged to catch up with them. “Hey, Chrissy, we’re going to the diner for milkshakes. Are you going to come?”
Christine paused for a moment, knowing that this was her last chance to come up with an excuse to not meet Erik behind the school. Then, she said. “I’m going to, um, I need to go to the library to study. You go have a good time, though.”
She could see the disappointment on Meg’s and Raoul’s faces, but they still got into a car with a few other students. Christine clutched at the straps of her backpack, waiting until they were gone to turn around and make her way into the woods.
As she wove through the trees, she couldn’t help but to look back over her shoulder every few steps to make sure no one was following her. She hadn’t walked very far, though, until she reached a little clearing with a picnic table in the middle. Christine took a deep breath and sat down, holding her hands in her lap.
From behind her, Erik said, “Hi.”
Christine knew he’d be there, but that didn’t stop her from gasping and jumping out of her seat. He raised a hand. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.”
She sat back down. “It’s okay.”
He sat down opposite of her and set his lunch box on the table. He opened it up.
Christine tried not to stare at the side of his face that looked slightly-lopsided, obviously covered by a prosthetic that was meant to look like the other side of his face but didn’t quite sit right. Her voice came out small, making her feel like a child. “So, how does this work?”
He studied the top of the table. “I guess it’s like any other sale. Except cash only. And no receipts.” Erik pulled out a ziploc bag with some weed in it. “I’ll give you half an ounce for twenty dollars. It’ll probably last you a while. What do you say?”
Christine heard a rustle behind her and jumped, looking back. Only a squirrel. Her attention snapped back to Erik as he closed his lunch box. “Look, we don’t need to do this,” he said. “Just say the word and we can act like this never happened.”
“No, it’s not that I want you to go.” Christine covered her face. God, why did she have to say it like that? “It’s just, do you ever feel like you’re losing your mind?” She inwardly groaned. That just made everything worse and he was going to think he was just some stupid kid and why did she care so much what he thought…
“Every day. I feel like I’m losing it right now.” He sat up straighter. “I mean—I feel like I’m losing it right now doing a drug deal with you.”
Christine smiled at him. He focused on his hands again. “Um, we’ve met before.”
“Really?” Christine racked her brain, trying to remember when she would’ve met him. Throughout high school, she’d always just avoided him.
“You don’t remember?”
“I’m sorry.”
He stood up and rubbed the back of his neck. Was that a slight blush she saw spreading across the uncovered side of his face? Then, he said, “I wouldn’t remember me either.” He leaned against a nearby tree and ran a hand through his hair. “You really don’t remember me?”
“I’m sorry! I—” Christine racked her brain one more time trying to place him. There was something familiar, something she couldn’t quite put her finger on…
“Middle school? During the talent show? You were into ballet back then, and you did this routine with your friend…”
“Meg!”
“And I was…”
Christine nearly launched herself out of her seat. “You played the guitar! Charlotte Johnson tried to sing over you and you told her to shut the fuck up and got kicked out of the show!” She laughed. “Oh my god, I barely recognized you.”
“Yeah, well, that was what, six years ago? Right after my mom, you know, got sent away, but no one wants to hear about that.” He sat back down and fidgeted with his hands. “I still play. Not many people want to hear it, but I’m going to get my degree and go make it big somewhere.”
Christine smiled at him. “You’re not how I thought you’d be.”
“Mean and scary?”
She nodded. “You’re not, though. Thanks for making me laugh.”
He opened his lunch box again. “Tell you what, I’ll sell this to you for fifteen dollars. What do you say?”
She pulled fifteen dollars out of her pocket and handed it to him. Then, he handed her the bag. Erik stood up as if to go, but Christine said, “Wait.” He stopped. “I’ve never done anything like this before.”
“I couldn’t tell.”
“Can you…can you stay with me?”
He gave her a little half-smile. “Of course.”
Her hands shook as she took some of the pot from the baggie and rolled it into a blunt. She looked up to see that he was already smoking a blunt. He offered her a lighter as she finished rolling hers.
Christine took her first drag and said, “It’s all an act, isn’t it? So no one can see who you really are.”
He shrugged. “It’s easier that way.”
Slowly, she noticed that the sun seemed to grow brighter. She stood and immediately felt a little woozy. Erik caught her by the arm. “Hey, you okay?”
Christine giggled. “Oh, trust me, I’m doing great.”
She sat back down, and he sat down beside her. She leaned her head on his shoulder and watched as the leaves glittered and shined in the sunlight and breeze. “I don’t want this day to end.”
Christine smiled as his tentatively wrapped an arm around her waist. Perhaps she should mind, with her boyfriend a few miles down the road having milkshakes with his teammates, but in that moment, it just felt so strangely right.