Chapter Text
Sitting in another hotel room, Jay felt like he could fall asleep right on the spot. The events of the past several weeks wore heavily on him.
'Several weeks.’ Jay couldn’t believe that he and Tim had been gone that long. It had only taken about a day to find their way out of Rosswood and to Jay’s car, and just an hour to find a hotel. They couldn’t have been knocked out in the woods the whole time, could they? Jay suspected they were suffering yet more memory loss. But the tape didn’t show anything between the hooded man picking up the camera and Jay waking up in the shack, and though the camera could have easily been off for the missing time, it still troubled him.
Tim’s behavior bothered him, too. He barely said a word while they tried to get out of the park, and once they were in Jay’s car he stopped talking entirely and stared impassively out the window the entire ride to the hotel. He still said nothing when Jay booked adjoining rooms, and when they got to their doors Tim announced that he was going to bed and went inside before Jay could respond.
He was worried that Tim was going to have another episode, and didn’t know what he was going to do if it happened.
Jay walked to the door separating their rooms and listened; he didn’t hear anything, and so assumed that Tim really did go to sleep. Deciding that there was nothing else he could do for now, he got into bed and tried to sleep himself.
~
Jay woke up with a start. He looked at the clock; '4 AM. What woke me up?’ He was instantly on edge, hoping that someone (or something) hadn’t found them. He was fumbling at his nightstand for the lamp when he heard a noise from Tim’s room. Finally getting hold of the switch, he turned on the light and ran over to the door between their rooms and knocked.
“Tim!” No response. “Tim, are you okay?”
That’s when he heard the soft sobs filtering through from the other room.
Jay wasn’t really sure what he should do, but he didn’t want to leave the other man alone in his anguish. Especially not when he knew what had happened the last time Tim had broken down. He opened his door, and then tried Tim’s; it was unlocked.
“Tim… I’m going to come in, okay?” There was no response, but Jay wasn’t expecting one. He opened the door and walked in to the other room.
Tim was sitting on the floor against his bed, sobbing into his hands. He didn’t acknowledge Jay’s presence at all; Jay wondered if he even knew he was there. Jay sat on his knees beside him.
“Tim…”
“Why is this happening to me?”
Startled by Tim speaking, Jay couldn’t think of a response.
Tim moved his hands to his sides and looked at Jay. “I’ve never been okay. Never. I used to think that I could get better. But everything always gets worse. Why? Why can’t I just be okay?”
“Tim, I…” Jay tried to think of something comforting to say. “I don’t know why this is happening to you. But I’ll do everything I can to help. I promise.”
Suddenly Tim launched himself at Jay, causing him to fall backwards into the wall. Jay was terrified for a second that Tim was trying to hurt him, but instead he clung to Jay’s sides and began sobbing into his chest. Unsure of what he should do, he tentatively put his arms around Tim.
“I’m sorry.”
This declaration surprised Jay. He looked down at the man in his arms before asking, “Why?”
“I… I remembered what happened. In the woods. You were trying to help me… and I hurt you…”
“…I don’t know what happens when you’re… like that. But that wasn’t you. I know you were pretty angry at me,” 'probably still are,’ “but I know you wouldn’t just… attack me if there wasn’t something else going on.” He paused before adding, “I probably deserved it, anyway.”
Tim’s head shot up and he stared at Jay with wide eyes. “No, no, don’t say that, you just wanted to help, I should have woken up, and I’m so, so sorry…” He tightened his hold on Jay and again cried into his chest.
Jay was at a loss for words. 'I should be the one apologizing…’ “It’s… it’s okay. I’m fine. We’re both fine. We’ll get through this, okay?”
Tim didn’t respond. Jay continued to hold him as he sobbed into his chest, until the sobs slowly subsided. Tim kept his hold on Jay but moved back a bit. Jay could see that although his eyes were red-rimmed, he was no longer crying, and that was progress. “Do you feel any better?” Tim nodded. “Okay. That’s good. Do you want to try going to sleep…?” He nodded again. “Okay, come on…” Jay helped them both to their feet, and then guided Tim back to his bed. He was about to leave but Tim wouldn’t let go of his arm.
“Stay?”
“Tim…”
“Jay. Please.” He heard the pleading tone in Tim’s voice, and saw the broken expression on his face, and could not say no.
“…okay.”
He maneuvered them both on to the bed, Tim curled against his chest. Jay sighed and wrapped his arms around Tim again. 'If he feels safe, then this is fine.’
Jay fell asleep within minutes.
~
When Jay woke up, he found that he had turned over in his sleep, and his back was now pressed up against Tim’s chest, and Tim’s arms wrapped around him. He tried to get up but Tim’s kept his arms in place.
“Uh, Tim…”
“It’s too early. We can talk later.”
“Shouldn’t I go back to my room…?” He felt Tim’s arms tighten around him in response.
“Shut up and go back to sleep.”