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Waking up always felt like sleeping for Izuku. Even when he was young, he never truly slept. Instead his mind wondered, it became one and two and three and four until he couldn't exist anymore. He simply is.
Being alive, being awake felt like dreaming, it felt like death and dying even though he's living. He doesn't think, he isn't. Still though he continues, despite who he lacks to be, Izuku continues.
Izuku doesn't think he's really alive for the first couple years, he just wanted to sleep all the time. Nothing was worth being awake and in this world, this tiring world with superpowers and superheroes and pain and suffering.
His 'mother' worried about him, even Kacchan, who had stopped caring for him was worried. He wanted to try for them he really did but it was so hard. He was so tired of sleeping, Izuku wanted to wake up.
Nobody wanted to help him though. They worried but nothing happens. They don't stop worrying but the guilt he feels turns gray and fades to dust. He's tired of existing.
"please Izuku" she sounds far away, he can barely hear her whisper anymore. Just a fading tune to the sounds of the universe roaring in his ears.
He's 6 the first time he tries to wake up from his dream, to stop living and become alive. He's in his room, his mother working while he's home sick. He breathes in, he breathes out. He breathes in, he breathes out. He continues until he stops.
Everything stops.
He doesn't want this. He can feel like, the edge of sleep crawling at the end of his mind. His mind which seems to stretch into infinity, beyond the physical plain of his head. Nothing is real. Vision is static. Purple red sobbing hurting.
Everything begins and a baby boy is born.