Work Text:
"Dazai, read out the recipe."
"Wait what were we making again?"
"I just told you a minute ago."
"Oh right, a salted caramel cake." Dazai took out his phone, then searched for Salted caramel cake. "Can I add the first few ingredients?"
"Sure, I was going to go to the bathroom anyway." Chuuya placed the bowl down, then went to the bathroom.
"Chuuya, where is the butter?"
"It's in the fridge!"
"I can't find them-"
"Check the lowest shelf."
"Nevermind found them!"
"Don't call me again unless your dying." Dazai starts by putting the butter, sugar, and caramel sauce into a large pan.
"Chuuya!"
"What now? Can't I go to the bathroom in peace?"
"If I eat a lot of the sugar, do you think I could die?"
"Yes, and don't you dare try to do it."
"But-"
"No."
"Next time then." He continued mixing it in, then poured the egg, each time adding 1 tablespoon of flour. "Chuuya, you're taking a long time in the bathroom."
"It has only been 5 minutes?"
"Oh yeah." He added the vanilla bean paste. "Chuuya, which is the sugar and which is the salt again?"
"The salt is the one labeled 'Salt,'"
"Thank you."
"If you disturb me one more time, I promise you, I'm not going to sleep with you."
"I'm done anyway, Chibi!"
"Finally." Dazai picked up the salt, and then added a pinch of it. He then thought to himself 'why not add more?' so he added half the salt.
"Chibi! How was your alone time?~"
"What the fuck. I didn't do anything."
"Sure."
"What's next?"
"Making buttercream then put the mixture in the oven."
"We have two mixtures."
"Cake Mixture."
"Alright."
"what the fuck this doesn't even taste nice"
"It's because I made it isn't it"
"You did the first step. I did the rest, while you sat on the counter and watched."
"Yeah, to see if you messed up!"
"Wait. What did you add."
"Half the Salt?"
"What the actual fuck Dazai?"
"I thought it would taste nice!"
"Since this was your idea, you finish the cake off."
"But Chibi-"
"Either that or I'm not sleeping with you."
"Where are you going to sleep then?"
"The couch."
"Fine, I'll eat the rest."
"I'll add more caramel sauce to make it sweeter."
"Awh, Chibi cares about me!"
"Don't push it."
"Awh.."
"You're so childish."
"That's why you love me!"
"Unfortunately."