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Once again he was in an empty room, the walls of which were covered in dull grey peeling paint. A small window let in a tiny fraction of the sun's bleak light, making the room look ugly as it was. Saul wished he could escape, but he couldn't. The doorless room clung to him like a cocoon, almost depriving him of the ability to breathe. For the past month, in his dreams, he'd been a frequent visitor here. It sent Silva back to the days when he literally had to survive in the Solaria prison with no hope of escape.
The grey walls became much more frequent after he saw with his own eyes the lifeless body of Farah Dowling. The stained clothes and smudged facial features were all that Saul remembered, not having the emotional strength to admit to himself that he had lost the woman whose deadly, icy body touched his palms forever. Her face was seen as a blank canvas waiting for its unknowing and lost artist. Saul knew he had to make her beautiful features clear with his own efforts; to pull himself together and acknowledge that it was his fairy and not some stranger who looked like her like two drops of water. Silva pushed away and denied the fact, ruthlessly driving away anyone trying to convince him otherwise.
Farah would hardly have approved of the act Saul had tried to do to himself a few days ago. But what did it matter now, since she was no longer alive?
Silva couldn't ask that of Ben, who certainly wouldn't let his friend ruin himself. Nor did Saul want to hear all those words of encouragement, endless consolations and seeing mournful faces every morning reminding him that what had happened was not a dream. A plunge into the realm of Morpheus had been planned as an escape from reality, but instead of the peace he expected, Saul had dreams that were as oppressive as the reality.
After a few days of this tossing and turning, Saul was ready to take the desperate step of stepping into the house of the notorious sorceress and best-selling potion monger. An old acquaintance of Farah's and the only woman whose skills in potions were superior to those of Professor Harvey. The look in her blinded eyes (a consequence of failed experiments with potions) ran across Saul as if she had been awaiting his arrival. There was a familiar regret and concern in her face that made Silva sick and his legs were about to turn him towards the exit, but the door behind him blocked his escape with a loud slam.
- Saul Silva,- the sorceress said, stepping closer to the familiar. - Your arrival was expected.
The man looked up at the sorceress and exhaled softly.
- I require one of your potions, Melis.
The woman turned away, scratching at the tangle of unruly blond hair. She glanced around the one story apartment, her supplies scattered among the many surfaces. It looked more like a dugout than a house in its usual sense. Silva could smell a brew from the uncorked potion on the table.
- Potions for insomnia are unfortunately a commodity for most people at the moment,- Melis blurted out, scouring the table, shelves and drawers for jars and flasks. - Perhaps there's something in the back...
The woman straightened as she closed another drawer and turned to Silva again, frowning meaningfully. Saul continued to stand in one place, picking out words that could be understood and accepted. Hardly a single person in their right mind would agree to give him what he wanted. Much less a close acquaintance of Farah's. God, what was he thinking walking in here?
- You look... thoughtful,- Melis' suspicion lingered between the lines. - If you've come for a resurrection potion, there's never been one, and there never will be. Too inhumane and selfish.
- No,- Saul retorted, though he was sure that if something like that existed, he would take the chance. - I've come for...another potion.
The man's tired eyes and exhausted look made Melis think of an insomnia potion and nothing else, but now she could see something else creepy in that look. Despair and indifference, oozing with deadly chilling thoughts.
- Have you come for the poison? - Melis inquired coolly.
- I beg you not to refuse me,- Saul said in tone with her. - Please don't refuse me. Saul said in a tone with her.
Melis exhaled heavily, putting her hands to her sides.
- No, Saul. I can't do that.
The tight feed cut off the oxygen, and Silva felt himself suffocating, barely restraining himself from sobbing outright on that floor, crouching in desperate convulsions. Instead, Silva pretended to understand, nodded quickly, and headed for the exit with a bitter chuckle. But on the threshold he was stopped by a palm resting on his shoulder.
- But I can give you something else,- Melis said quietly.
The man's fingers gripped the doorknob tightly and then loosened, glancing hopefully at the woman behind him.
- Here,- Melis placed a small flask of clear liquid in Silva's hand. - Drink the entire contents before you go to sleep. It will help you overcome the pain.
- Overcome the pain? - Saul grinned dejectedly. - I doubt it. But thank you for your help.
The man yanked the door open and hurried out, hurriedly wiping away the tears with the sleeves of his jacket. All Melis had to do then was to give him a sad look, hoping that the potion given to him would manage, if not overcome the pain, at least ease it a little.
So now he was standing in that dreary room, waiting for the very "pain reliever". Nothing. An oppressive silence and impenetrable walls that he had erected around himself. Silva sank to his knees, meekly awaiting the end of this dream.
- Saul.
For a second the man thought that someone had actually called out to him and that voice hurt his heart. He hesitated to raise his head until he heard the same thing again. Silva immediately cocked his head, immediately finding himself in a state of shock as he watched as a figure in a blue cloak approached almost closely and already towered stately above, keeping his eyes fixed on him.
- Farah,- Saul held out a hand, unable to believe it, meeting the warmth of the garment covering the woman's body. - Oh, God.
He leaned forward, hoping to hide his tears and muffle the cry of pain rushing out. Saul clutched his fairy tightly in his arms, enjoying her scent and the warmth of her skin, which was incredibly palpable even through the folds of her clothes. He feared that instead of Farah's face he would see the blur that appeared in his mind every time the memories took over. But his fears were not justified. She was in the same clothes, with the same ravishing facial features as when she was alive. Alive…
- This is all a dream, isn't it? - with a hunch of a positive answer, Saul asked, letting Farah out of his embrace.
Farah only smiled, not allowing Saul to move too far away, continuing to hold his hand. Her silence and the warmth with which she did this only more captivated Silva, who obeyed the mute request to come closer and not leave her now.
- I couldn't save you, Farah,- Saul lowered his head, letting the tears flow. - I didn't make it in time. I should have stayed there with you. I'm so sorry.
- No, no, look at me and listen! - Farah's voice made Saul faintly shudder and wonder if this was really all happening. The fairy gently took his face in her palms and made him look into her eyes, which were so real and alive that she wanted to sob even more. - You were always there for me, protecting and supporting me. Even if I was wrong, you never judged, only helped me make the right decision. Always saved me. But then, there was nothing you could have done, do you hear? - swallowing a tight lump, Farah went on. - But you can still save the people closest to you. Sky needs you, Alfea needs you, your friends need you. I know it's not easy to admit, but I'm dead, Saul. There's nothing more you can do. But you can still help others.
Farah felt the bitter taste of tears on her lips. She watched Saul, who leaned forward and touched his forehead to hers.
- Don't blame yourself, or I'll blame myself too,- a sad chuckle slid across the fairy's face.
- I love you,- Saul whispered against her lip, praying every second that she wouldn't dissolve into his arms right now.
- I know,- Farah smiled warmly, touching his cheek gently with her fingers. - I love you, too, dear.