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The three year old boy swung on the monkey bars. He was quite small for a three year-old, but like his jounin parents, he had chakra and already a vague understanding of how to use it.
He swung gleefully past a girl who was just hanging in the middle of a frame. She was too tired to reach the end of the bars, but too scared to drop down (what seemed to her to be a million meter drop) onto the sand below.
The boy looked back at her, hanging easily from one chubby, strong arm.
“Anko-chan, it’s not that far down, just let go,” piped the boy in a sweet, fluting voice. “You won’ be hurt, it’s sand.”
“Yeah, well, last week Ibiki-nii said he found Kuromaru’s poop hiding in it, so I’m not going to just drop because you said so,” she sniped, arms trembling.
“Hey! I have a bwilliant idea!” said the boy, excitedly hanging from the other hand now. “Take my hand, and you can swing yourself and reach the gwound better.”
The purple-haired girl with long pigtails looked uncertainly at the chubby kid.
“I dunno Iruka-kun… Are you strong enough?”
“You bet! I’m stronger than even my dad, now!” Iruka grinned proudly. “I won our arm-wrestling competition yesterday! I’m super-strong.”
She looked sceptical, but Anko’s arms were shaking more and she really wanted to get down, now.
“Ookay, don’t drop me Iruka,” said Anko.
Iruka reached out and grabbed her outstretched hand, and before Anko could blink, her feet had touched the sand without the messy ankle pain that she got when she jumped down.
Iruka grinned down at her, still hanging from the bars using one hand.
“You should have been called Umino Saru!” shouted Anko, loud now that her confidence was back.
Iruka giggled as he whizzed around the jungle-gym, built specially for children of Konoha ninjas, who had even more energy than civilian children. The other children his age looked to him as their unofficial boss, as nobody could swing or be as funny (or cute) as he was.
The children were playing happily in the outdoor play area, when Iruka noticed a sulky boy a few years older than him trudge into the playground, hand held by a tall man with spikey long hair.
Iruka could sense the man had a powerful aura, which was somehow very sad. It made him look more closely at the boy.
The boy’s face was covered with a black mask, but the eyes and the hair looked very similar to the man’s. Iruka supposed he was his dad.
Curious, Iruka easily swung himself on top of the bars and crawled to a bar set that was closer to the slowly approaching new boy.
“Kakashi, my Rival! It is wonderful to see you joining me for training!” A young boy’s voice yelled from the bottom of a slide. Iruka noticed that the masked boy seemed more reluctant to join the children than ever.
“Hey, Kakashi. Didn’t know you hung out here with the little kiddies,” said a boy chewing on a candy stick.
Iruka narrowed his eyes at Candy-stick. Iruka didn't like Candy-stick. He was always trying to mess up Iruka’s hair. Iruka didn’t let him get away with it even though he was older and a full genin already.
“Have fun here with your friends, Kakashi. I’ll be back in a few hours.” The man walked away and Kakashi turned to look at Candy-stick and another boy called Raidou.
“What’s with that kid up on the bars, there,” said Kakashi. “He’s been staring at me since I arrived.”
Genma Candy-stick and Raidou looked at Iruka, who scowled back at them from his perch.
“He’s the playground mascot,” grinned Candy-stick. “He’s so cute, isn’t he? Look at how chubby his cheeks are.”
Iruka was furious. How dared Stupid Candy-stick put him down like that? Especially in front of the new kid who had hair that was as cool as a MacDonald’s sundae.
“Your teeth are gon’ ROT!” yelled Iruka, as loudly as he could.
“And his hair is so fluffy, it’s like a Pomeranian,” Genma carried on gleefully.
Kakashi looked at the enraged Iruka for a moment and his droopy eyes twitched upwards a little.
Iruka was livid.
He threw a piece of lint in his pocket at Genma, trying to put chakra on it like his dad taught him to. The lint started off very determined to teach Genma a lesson, but then a little breeze distracted it and it fell on the ground five feet from his back.
Genma didn’t even notice the lint, the dumb genin that he was, too busy giggling like a stupid… stupid Genma. Iruka decided that was the last straw.
He swung down from his crouch on top of the steel bars, hanging from his arms again. He was going to make Candy-stick choke on his stupid candy stick.
He swung back and forth, slowly at first but faster and faster. The other children had cottoned on to the tension and were looking at Iruka swinging with horror and mixed amusement. Iruka took a breath and then released his grip. They watched in awe as Iruka soared in a graceful arc, almost as if in slow motion, with a feral grin on his face.
Iruka’s chubby bottom landed squarely on Genma’s back between the shoulder blades, and Kakashi had the pleasure of seeing Genma’s eyes widen in complete shock before his face was buried in the sand.
Raidou was doubled over in laughter on the ground at his friend’s take-down and at his bright red ears which were visible above the sand.
Iruka looked up at Kakashi triumphantly. He tried to convey through the look that Kakashi was the new kid under Iruka’s leadership now, and that he shouldn’t take Iruka lightly.
Kakashi blinked and his mask twitched this time. At that, Iruka was thinking that he needed to be taught a lesson as well, but then Kakashi stepped around Iruka’s little foot and gracefully plopped himself on Genma’s back, a little behind Iruka.
Genma sent muffled curses up at them as Raidou twitched and hacked on all fours beside him. Iruka turned his head to grin at the silver-haired boy behind him, happy that the new boy had accepted his leadership, and Kakashi gave him a grin of his own that turned his grey eyes into squinty arcs.
***
“But sensei, I don’t want this mission. Why can’t I go to Kumo instead?”
Iruka rubbed his temple and sighed. Friday afternoon mission desk duty was the worst.
“Genma-san, we don’t have any missions to Kumo at the moment. Raidou’s probably going to be back from Kumo tonight anyway,” said Iruka.
“Iruka-kuuun, then why can’t you send Kakashi to Suna, he’s got the facial protection suited for it already and he’s always not doing anything,” whined Genma.
Iruka glanced up and saw the Copy-nin leaning on a wall at the back of the room, reading his orange book. Kakashi’s eye immediately flicked up slightly to catch Iruka’s gaze, and it turned into the same squinty arc at Iruka’s flustered blush.
Iruka growled to offset his red cheeks and and cocked his head slightly in Genma’s direction. Genma’s eyes widened.
“No, you know I was just joking, no, no!!”
Kakashi had appeared in a flash at Genma’s elbow, and had slung a menacing arm around his shoulders.
Iruka stood up and walked around his desk until he stood directly in front of Genma. He then thrust the mission scroll at Genma’s chest, releasing a burst of chakra and transporting Genma to a children’s sand pit near the Village gates.
Genma yelled curses in the direction of the Hokage Tower when he realized that he had materialized on a mound of dog shit.
Kakashi was left standing exceptionally close to Iruka when the small swirl of leaves had cleared.
Iruka ignored his suddenly increased heart rate and instead grinned at Kakashi too widely, making his own eyes turn into arcs. He missed how Kakashi affectionately rolled his eyes and was poleaxed when Kakashi pecked him, bare lips smooching his instantly hot cheek.
“Konoha’s mascot. The cutest chubby cheeks in Konoha,” grinned Kakashi, lips still brushing Iruka’s cheek.
Iruka couldn’t deny that Kakashi was a genius. He had teleported away before Iruka could transport him into a pile of dog shit too – but actually he was more inclined to send him into a pile of blankets.
Maybe not so genius after all.