Chapter Text
"Eddie?"
Steve locked the door behind him, like he always did. He got no response, as he hung his jacket on the hook near the entrance.
He tried one more time.
"Eds? You okay?"
it was possible that Eddie was asleep. Since his ordeal in the upside down, he was struggling to sleep at night. Sometimes he just crashed during the day, and Steve couldn't help but leave him to rest even when the timing was all wrong. He clearly needed it — although he sometimes slept for fifteen hours or more and woke up sweaty and confused; Steve just couldn't find it in him to wake him up.
When Steve checked the bedroom, though, Eddie wasn't in there. He wasn't on the sofa either. Instead, he was sitting on the kitchen floor. This was his safe space, against the cold floor and leaning against the cupboard filled with plates and bowls.
"Oh, there you are!,"
Steve lowered himself to the floor without hesitating. Eddie was looking at the floor, as if he hadn’t realised Steve was there yet. He was rocking a little bit,
“Did something happen whilst I wasn’t here?”
Steve wanted to ask if Eddie was okay, but he was carefully trying to ask one question at a time to give his boyfriend some time to process before he asked a different one. Eddie didn’t like being asked more than one thing at once.
Steve’s hand touched the other man’s knee, and he flinched just a little - but relaxed into it, after a second. Steve let his hand move with Eddie’s body, and just kept it there in a comforting manner whilst he waited for Eddie to be ready to talk.
Whilst Steve had been out, Eddie had gone to bake something as a surprise (his baking always looked a mess, but tasted very good) but he had turned around very quickly to hide from a knock on the door, and taken a whole bowl with him. The bowl was now scattered across the tiled floor in several hundred pieces of glass. This had made Eddie jump so hard he didn’t breathe for at least a minute. When he had bent down to start clearing it up, he cut himself on one of the shards, and the blood had just been too much. He couldn’t think of anything besides the blood in his mouth the day he almost lost his life. His knees just sort of gave out after the world went fuzzy very quickly.
Steve didn’t notice the blood on Eddie’s hand until he caught his finger on a shard, and immediately put his finger in his mouth to stop the bleeding.
“Oh, Eds. The… The blood? It made you erm-“
Eddie nodded. He didn’t have any words right now. This happened sometimes, during an overload, or sometimes even just for no reason. It wasn’t that he couldn’t talk, it was just excruciating and tired him out very quickly.
His eyes were getting glassier with tears. Steve watched carefully, as he blinked one away, down his face onto his sock as he rested his chin on his knee. It left a dark spot on his sock.
Steve raised his hand, which was a little shaky, and placed it right on Eddie’s cheek, to wipe away the tears that were rolling down his face. He caught each one with his thumb before they could reach his jaw. His perfect jaw.
Eddie’s eyes didn’t like to make contact with Steve’s, and they stayed looking at the floor. they did flitter up and down a little, to look at Steve, though.
Eddie did try, to say something. He opened and closed his mouth at least four times before he gave up, and whimpered just a little when all he could muster was,
“St- mmm,”
It was so frustrating, he kicked the wall next to him, and his head hit the cabinet behind him three times in a row.
His sudden pull away from Steve’s grip left his hand lingering in the air for a few moments whilst he watched with a face covered in worry.
“Woah, hey. No words right now? That’s okay,”
His voice was so gentle, Eddie wanted to kill him. He was so angry, this was so stupid . Why did Steve have to be so good at this? Eddie stopped stifling his sobs, and instead let his head fall into Steve’s chest. Steve’s arm closed around him without hesitation. He rocked them both a little, and watched Eddie’s shoulders shaking. It broke his heart.
Episodes this bad didn’t happen all that often, but if he never had one again it would be too soon. Steve had struggled, he still did. There were nightmares, after which Eddie would always hold him until he fell back asleep. He had even been afraid of having lights on, and he had had a panic attack when the bulb in the kitchen light started to die and flickered above his head. The Russian spoken parts of the movie he was watching had triggered a flashback that Rob had had to pull him out of, which he felt terrible about because she was probably just as scared as he was. But Eddie was different.
Eddie didn’t know how to process his emotions, Eddie’s body didn’t know what to do when he felt these things. He could jump and spin, and flap his hands, or dance like a fool to something by metallica and these things were great, until there was too much energy inside of him.
It was like a glass of water he could keep sipping, but eventually he couldn’t keep up with how fast it was refilling and it spilled everywhere, all over the place. The feeling was like an itch he couldn’t scratch, like electricity building in his body he couldn’t make go away. He just couldn’t regulate such strong emotions, and they made the glass fill up so fast, he was practically downing.
His sobs turned to sniffles, and he learned against Steve’s shoulder whilst they continued to move in sync. This was helping a lot.
“Eddie, it’s okay , yeah? You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to. But I think maybe you should let me take a look at your hand, if that’s okay?” He cocked his head to the side to wait for an answer. He watched the cogs turning in Eddie’s head before he nodded. Steve pushed himself up with a grunt, and pulled Eddie to his feet, watched him wipe his nose on the sleeve of his Black Sabbath t-shirt. It had the tour dates written down the sleeve that fell past his hands so he could hold onto them.
“Okay, come on,’
Steve took his boyfriend’s hand, and led him over to the kitchen table. They never ate here, they always ate with their food on their laps in the other room (because Steve liked to watch the news, and Eddie liked being with Steve)
Steve hissed at the wound. It didn’t look as if there was any glass in it, which he was pretty sure on since he took his first aid course following their ordeal in the upside down in 1983, in case anyone was injured in future — but it did look like it was sore and probably hurt a lot.
“I have-“ he let go, and stood up; rummaging around the kitchen, “AHA! Wipes,”
Eddie smirked a little bit. Steve was all flustered and all over the place just trying to make him feel better. It was… very cute, actually.
“This is gonna sting, I’m sorry,”
Eddie nodded. He watched as Steve wiped his cut, very carefully. He winced, and his body jolted at the sting,
“Agh, I know Eddie, I’m sorry. I’m sorry,”
Steve liked Eddie’s hands. His nails were always painted a chipped black, and he never went anywhere without his rings, even as far as the kitchen. Steve didn’t mind touching them like this at all, although he didn’t enjoy the pain it was causing. He furrowed his brows a little in concentration, as he finished his work with a big band aid across Eddie’s palm,
“There you go!”
Eddie signed thank you, which was something they did now when Eddie lost his words. It was Steve’s idea, and very helpful in these exact situations. Steve smiled softly.
Eddie smiled a little again. He loved seeing Steve enter mom mode like this. He knew he was safe with him, he’d never let anything happen. Else, he would stand with his hands on his hips and give them a stern telling off and a grounding. The thought of this made him chuckle, whilst Steve put everything away neatly. He hasn’t even realised he’d been letting out a monotone mmmm for a little while, whilst his good hand drummed against the wooden table rhythmically, until he stopped and it suddenly felt very quiet in the room.
When Steve got back, he learned on the back of Eddie’s chair to speak to him from above,
“I have an idea. Come on,”
Steve put the casette in, and skipped a few songs. Eddie stood there, bewildered, wringing his hands a little.
Finally,
“AHA!”
The number of the beast, Eddie’s favourite song off the album of the same name. He didn’t like to be so predictable, but it was just the best one.
He thought he couldn’t grin any wider than he was already when he realised what Steve was doing, but it turned out that watching Steve Harrington attempt to dance to anything that isn’t by either toto or tears for fears is even better.
A cackle escaped Eddie, a true laugh.
“Come on Eddie, you know you want to,”
Steve offered a hand as if asking for a slow dance, and Eddie took it… after an obligatory eye roll.
“S-Steve you- mmm,”
“Shh, no talking, just dance with me,”
They danced with their hands laced together for the first verse, to the beat of the music. Eddie’s hair kept hitting Steve in the face, but he really didn’t mind. He liked Eddie’s hair down, so he felt it was a fair trade.
The guitar solo always got Eddie all excited, because it was the best part. He was holding both of Steve’s hands right before it hit, and it made him literally jump up and down. Steve had no choice but to jump with him, which made his little noises more and more excited.
As it started, Eddie let go. He sprinted for the sofa, and proceeded to airplay the entire thing whilst his boyfriend watched in such awe his jaw dropped open. He had to hear this on Eddie’s actual guitar soon, or he might explode.
Once he was done, and he climbed back down onto the floor, his hands were flapping so much he might actually have taken off had Steve not been there to catch him.
“You have got to play that to me properly, holy shit,”