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"You're doing great"
"You're wonderful"
"You're the best"
These words were things that Izou never really heard much. What he was used to were words of contempt from so-called friends and enemies alike or being scolded by those who told him he enjoyed killing a little too much.
But then he met you.
You weren't afraid of him, you never cursed his name or laughed at him. Interactions like these didn't feel real. It felt foreign. Pats on the back and shoulder, a smile here and there, but most of all you praised him.
He wanted more. He craved more. The kind words, the gentle touch, even the soft look in your eyes when you gave praise after praise. How he wanted to tell you he'll even plead for it but what would always come out is
"Nothing. Never mind."
It pained him to see the confused look in your eyes though it was to be expected. A man like him…no…a monster like him didn't deserve your affections. Never did. Those thoughts ran through his head as he drank alone in his room.
"A manslayer worthy of love?"
"Why would she ever love someone like you?"
"The thought of loving someone like you probably makes her sick…"
"Those praises are nothing but empty words, especially for someone like you…"
Izou gritted his teeth in frustration. These thoughts always got so much louder when he drank constantly clawing at his mind and no matter how he didn't want to believe them there always seemed to be some truth to them.
Hands forever stained with blood, a reputation of murder that followed him wherever he went. He was a manslayer, a murderer, and a monster. Someone who was completely unworthy of you.
Kicking back another cup of sake he stood up and stumbled out of his room making his way to yours, the thoughts getting louder and louder the closer he got.
Shakily he knocked on your door hearing your voice in response
"It's open."
He stepped into your room seeing you in an oversized shirt and shorts getting ready to turn in for the night as the gentle sound of music played through the air.
You looked at him, eyes filled with concern for the bleary-eyed manslayer in front of you.
"Izou what's wrong?" You asked as he stumbled towards you and plopped himself next to you on the bed.
"Master…can you do me a favor?" He asked, leaning close to you. The smell of alcohol was pungent but you did your best to ignore it.
"Huh? Sure Izou. What is it?"
"Can…you wrap your arms around me?" He whispered
"Um…sure. Like this?" You asked giving him a hug
"Y-Yeah…and um…if I can…put my head here…" he mumbled, placing his head in the crook of your neck causing your face to heat.
"S-Sure thing…um are you alright? Have you been drinking again?" You asked already knowing the answer.
"I-I'm fine just…just put your hand on my head and…"
"And what?" You asked, resting your hand on his head subconsciously stroking his hair.
"Tell me you're proud of me…" he whispered, his voice breaking as his body shook a bit.
"W-What?"
"Please…tell me you're proud…that you like having me around…something…anything…" he said a little louder, his voice breaking more. You could feel your shoulder getting wet. You held him tighter letting his hair down so you could run your fingers through his hair more easily.
"Izou…of course, I love having you around. You're a wonderful servant. You're strong…you're smart…and I can always count on you." You said your voice was gentle and soothing causing the sobbing to ease up if not just a bit loving the feeling of your nails grazing against his scalp. You closed your eyes and softly smiled as you continued.
"You mean the world to me…"
"Master…" he wrapped his arms around you, gripping the back of your shirt tightly as if you could vanish at any minute.
"I'll never leave you." You whispered and felt Izou's body tense
"W-what? What did you say?" He could have sworn he misheard. Obviously, you knew who he was there would be no way you would mean something like that.
"I'll always be with you Izou. Until my last breath, I will never leave your side. And even if I die…I'll always be with you no matter what." You said gently.
He looked up at you with tears in his eyes that you gently wiped away before he buried his face in the crook of your neck again.
"Can we…stay like this?"
You tilted his head up pressing your forehead against his giving him a loving smile
"We can stay like this for as long as you want…it's alright…I'm here…and I always will be."
"Hey…can I tell you something?" He mumbled burying his face into your chest
"You can tell me anything." You said as you played with his hair humming with the music and feeling his body relax more and more.
"Master I…I don't know how to say this but…I…I …" he started mumbling as his body started to get a little heavy
"Izou? Are you okay?" You ask only to hear soft snoring in response. He was asleep.
Letting out a sigh you lay down allowing him to rest on top of you not once letting him go and he only snuggled closer.
"Don't worry…I'm here…" you murmured before falling asleep.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
The next morning you woke up to an empty bed. No different from what happened on Valentine's Day when Izou passed out drunk on your floor. Getting yourself together you left your room and spotted Izou down the hallway. You hurriedly caught up with him and tapped his shoulder.
"Morning Izou. How are you feeling?"
"Hm? Much better master thanks." He said scratching the back of his head a bit.
"So what did you want to say last night?"
"Huh? What are you talking about?"
"You wanted to tell me something. That it was important before you passed out."
"..."
His eyes shifted, and his chest tightened as he bit his lip thoughts racing through his head. There was something he wanted to say.
"Izou?"
He wanted to hold you close and never let go. To kiss your lips and tell you how much you meant to him how he wouldn't hesitate to lay down his life if it meant protecting you…but what came out was…
"It's nothing Master. Don't worry about it."
Why? Why did he say that? Now you were going to give him that look again. That confused look that anyone could easily mistake for pity.
You gently took his face into your hands causing the swordsman to stiffen but regardless he smiled at you.
The pained look in his eyes betrayed the smile on his face as he let out a nervous laugh.
"Honest it's-"
"Okay then…I'll just wait until you're ready. And no matter what it is I'll never stop caring about you." You said with a smile before walking away.
He stared at you as you left eyes widened with shock and his cheeks burned red. Your words ran on repeat in his head as he touched his face still feeling the warmth of your soft hands before pulling his scarf up a bit to hide his crimson cheeks. You truly were a strange one to show such tenderness and compassion for someone like him…and that's why…
"I love you, Master…"