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Wu Xie slid back his elbows against the steel shelving, which gave him a quarter of the respite he needed after the dizzying sprint through Level 2’s rat maze of a warehouse. Hyperventilating and exhausted, he had joined Bai Yu on the topmost tier to find the man stretched out with his hands stitched behind his head, neck elongated like a gazelle’s and eyes gandering at the circuit-board ceiling of the lighting system overhead. The firefly glows of a hundred thousand units distantly streaked the expanse like a universe of stars.
“I’ll never pass,” Wu Xie said once his breathing evened.
“Not with that attitude, you won’t.”
“How did you pass?”
Bai Yu leered and winked. “I have great stamina.”
Wu Xie rolled his eyes, removed his long-sleeved uniform shirt and ballcap, folding them into a pillow for his head against which he could lay back. He was aware, as he did so, that his coworker also shifted, cheek cradled in his palm and gaze sidling over Wu Xie’s form, his exposed biceps, his profile.
“Have you looked enough?” Wu Xie said, letting the metal slab under his back cool him.
“Never.”
Even with his black undershirt on, Wu Xie felt exposed being seen like this, like Bai Yu could x-ray him through his clothes, and yet he would choke if he tried to put his shirt back on out of modesty. So long as the flirt couldn’t x-ray through his lungs, this was fine, he thought.
“I’ll never forgive myself I wasn’t in my room that night you came looking for me,” Bai Yu said. He was looking at the fading scar on Wu Xie’s neck.
“I was trying to prevent you from getting killed.”
“I know. That’s what’s so hot.”
Wu Xie pointedly did not look at him but he could see him all the same, his outline ridged along Wu Xie’s periphery like a mountain range. “Stop your nonsense. I really will fail this test. Even though I’ve memorized all the coordinates, there’s no way I can run it in seven minutes. There has to be another way.”
“There’s not another way.”
“What even are you here for if it isn’t to help me?” Wu Xie grumbled.
It surprised Wu Xie, the kiss. One second, he was counting the pinpricks across the feather-like formation of the Milky Way and the next, a black shadow crested over him and he froze, unthinking. Bai Yu’s breath and barbs tickled his skin, his lips warm and tender, and before he could register the appropriate response of pushing him away, his own lips parted and he was kissed languidly, smooth captures of his mouth within Bai Yu’s, leading presses and the hot steam of his exhales. Bai Yu smelled of musk and soap and on his tongue, there was a sweetness of gum so that Wu Xie felt drunk with the taste of him, and he mindlessly returned the kiss for a moment, relishing the sound Bai Yu made in his throat, until Wu Xie felt his chest seize and he bucked Bai Yu away, turning to expel, what felt like, his entire corroded lung, and coughing until he was red in the face.
Wu Xie felt tears in his eyes and blinked. Finally his breath stilled. “I’m so sorry.”
“Are you okay?” Bai Yu had placed a gentle hand on his shoulder.
Wu Xie pulled it away, watched it drop like a paper napkin to the man’s side. “I’m very tired, Xiao Bai.”
They laid back down alongside one another, their legs touching, Bai Yu’s knee bouncing. Everywhere their clothes rubbed was electric and sent shockwaves through Wu Xie’s skin. But he focused on the galaxies of light overhead, his breathing, the frightening, selfish way he had just acted sobering him like he had been shocked with ice water. He would soon be as infinitesimal as the dust of an exploded star. This was not fair to Bai Yu.
The flirt pointed with an outstretched hand. “Don’t you think that one looks like a rabbit? There, along the curve of the Milky Way. 48.32.57. That’s the tail.”
“You’re making things up,” Wu Xie said lowly.
“I’m not! It’s one of those long lanky ones.”
He couldn’t help but grin. “Do you know what rabbits look like?”
Bai Yu shoved his shoulder. “I know what rabbits look like! Fine, Xiao San Ye of the great tomb-robber-house of Wu, what do you think it looks like?”
Wu Xie bit his lip. He could sort of see it if he imagined the topmost point was an ear hidden behind the other, but it could just as well be any animal, a kangaroo, a German Shepherd, or— “a snail,” he said, at which Bai Yu roared.
“Before you take the test, I think you should have your eyes checked.”
“No, look, there’s its slime trail,” Wu Xie signaled.
“Xie-ge, you really know how to be romantic.”
Xiao Bai, he thought. He was trying to live his last months without regrets, and here was Bai Yu creating more of them. Wu Xie could still taste the gum on his mouth like the bubble had popped against his lips, so he swallowed and licked them to dissolve the flavor. He could only hope the regret could be eroded flat like a river rock to be skipped on water.
“Could you not lie to me, Xiao Bai? Tell me how you came to be here. I don’t for one second believe you jilted a spouse.”
The other’s grin shattered, the crinkles folded around his eyes cascading down. “What if I said she was really mean?”
Wu Xie was silent.
“Ah, Xie-ge,” Bai Yu sighed. He dusted the mop of his hair and tucked the hand that had branded Wu Xie’s shoulder earlier under his head. “Get your L2 badge and I’ll tell you. Promise.”
Wu Xie’s stomach was knotted with a mixture of dread, regret, and overexertion. Now he had two reasons to pass; Uncle Sanxing and Bai Yu’s truth. He imagined slingshotting the morningstar’s light, blanketing them in darkness, anything that might cover the shame he felt at dimming Xiao Bai’s joy.