Work Text:
Name: Kà Esatia-Elros
Spouse: Jordan Elros
Child: Alegria Elros
Other relations: Xerxes (father), Zero Marigold (half brother)
Race: Half vampire, half hunter
Song: Lights - “Jaws”
About: Bred to be a monster that hunts other monsters, teenage Kà took to her “found family” more than was expected and started displaying humanity where she previously hadn’t any. When not hunting vampires with her husband, adult Kà works as a bouncer in her brother-in-law's strip club, and is a doting mother to her daughter Al.
"Oh my God they're in my hair!"
Kà sighed heavily. "No... they aren't."
"They are! I can feel them!"
"Jordan, there are no bees in your hair. There are no bees anywhere around where we are. I'd say we're probably a mile away from the bees at this point."
Jordan, who despite screaming like a girl had the endurance of a marathon winner when it came to running from winged death, gave his girlfriend a look that clearly stated that he didn't believe her. It wasn't as though he thought she was lying of course, he knew better than that. She was just mistaken. There were most definitely bees in his hair. They were simply waiting until he wasn't expecting it for them to do anything, because that was how bees worked. The Discovery Channel liked to tell people that they wouldn't harm you unless threatened but the Discovery Channel didn't know everything after all.
"Okay, let's say for whatever reason that you're right. How exactly do you feel them? Are you feeling their little bee feet walking on your scalp?"
"Maybe..."
"Are they just walking along or are they more militant bees? Personally if I was a bee planning an attack on someone's head I would probably be patrolling the area. They might even be wearing shiny black boots and goose stepping like little SS bees." Kà looked thoughtful before nodding solemnly. "Yes, that must be it. They're Nazi bees. I'm afraid you're in very serious danger."
"You're making fun of me now."
"I'm worried for your safety."
Jordan crossed his arms and remained silent, though the glare he gave Kà said it all. He loved his girlfriend more than anything else in the world but damnit she was a dick sometimes.