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There are a few things Eve has learnt about Villanelle as they settle into their own version of mundanity:
One, Villanelle snores, despite being adamant she doesn’t, Eve listens to the way Villanelle’s breath scratches at her throat as she sleeps. Villanelle doesn’t wake up anymore when Eve watches her, she knows she’s safe.
Two, villanelle is an incredible cook but a terrible baker, Eve laughs at it and Villanelle pouts. Later when she’s gone out shopping (Eve is glad Villanelle doesn’t force her to join her every time.) Eve goes to the supermarket on the corner and bakes sweets, lots of them, she ends up remembering a childhood recipe and when Villanelle comes home arms laden with bags full of designer clothes she drops them all at the door and rushes forward with an innocent delight that makes Eve’s heart ache.
Three, when she’s anxious or restless, Villanelle drags her nail up and down her thigh. Eve’s pretty sure she does it unconsciously and while it's not causing any damage, it progressively gets more noticeable if the situation isn’t alleviated. So instead of trying to stop Villanelle from doing it Eve teaches her origami (Yes, I know its a Japanese thing but lots of Asians and people, in general, know it.) , she melts at how focused Villanelle is perfecting it and when they finally go through all the motions to make ninja stars, never-ending hexagons and cubes Eve smiles at Villanelle softly and whispers in her ear that she can fiddle with these instead of scratching at her thighs.
Four, she has nightmares, before they weren’t as noticeable, actually they weren’t noticeable at all. Sometimes Eve would wake up to Villanelle hunched on the couch but as time went on Villanelle started to nudge Eve awake and curl against her. Sometimes Villanelle speaks in unintelligible Russian… french… english… sometimes its other languages but never the really bad ones…Eve helps Villanelle heal and in turn Villanelle helps heal Eve.
Five, there are times when Villanelle isn’t really there, not the one Eve knew and knows, this Villanelle is a shell, a barricade keeping everyone out… Or keeping all her emotions (or lack thereof) in. Eve used to find it scary, unpredictable in nature and sometimes fearing for her life, when snapped out of it Villanelle would leave for hours… days. Now… Eve presses her hand to Villanelle’s cheek until she blinks back to the present and collapses against Eve.
Six, Villanelle always catches Eve… maybe not in the right way and maybe she lets Eve fall a bit too long but she always gets there in the end. They have a lot of trauma, between the both of them they possess the amount of trauma that should be spread among at least 15 people. But now? They have time and a place and safety and sometimes it's so overwhelming that Eve’s breath catches in her throat and her brain just freezes. Villanelle catches her and in her own clumsy and awkward fashion consoles Eve. It's not the best but Eve knows it true and the thought of Villanelle trying and also seeing her face twist makes Eve feel better and she thanks Villanelle and continues to despite her going on about how terrible she is at comforting Eve.
Seven, Villanelle is soft, so incredibly soft. As soon as Eve is under the layers that make Villanelle up all she finds is a gooey mess. A hopeless romantic, a skittish perfectionist, all needy, hooded eyelids and whispery sentences. Eve finds it adorable, slightly concerning but logical considering all the things Villanelle has gone through
Eight, Villanelle is incredible at being ‘normal’, at routine, which honestly isn’t that surprising because she’s been following orders from others for ages… having a set thing to follow without pressure must feel… free… Eve finally realises that ‘normal’ life isn’t boring, you just have to find the right person/s to live it with.
Nine, Villanelle doesn’t know herself… Eve watches Villanelle and there's times where she’ll answer or say something and then a few minutes later her shoulders will slump and she’ll admit she doesn’t know if she actually likes it or doesn’t or knows what it means. Villanelle is a fashion goddess but there are days where they don’t even leave the house and she’ll stand in front of the closet troubled over what to wear because it just doesn’t feel right.
Ten, Villanelle can feel love, Eve thinks she’s known that from the beginning. Despite almost every source saying that psychopaths can’t feel or love or do emotions, it's wrong. Villanelle can feel and love, maybe not naturally but she still feels them and so what if they’re different. It is different, but Eve loves Villanelle for that, Villanelle’s love feels like fire licking at her nerves and a thumping bass beat reverberating through her, Villanelle’s love feels real and tangible and Eve can feel it and all the rawness that comes with it.
