Chapter Text
1//
It’s at around 2am when the knock at his door comes. It’s not an unusual time in Akashi’s apartment, as he occasionally stays up until the early hours of the morning reading or studying. It is, however, unusual to receive a visitor for him in these hours. He grabs a sweater from a hook and peers into the corridor. The knocking continues, so Akashi gradually opens the door.
“Kuroko?” he says, a bit incredulously. Kuroko Tetsuya was his next door neighbor, but they’ve never said so much more as a ‘hello’ in the entire semester. So it comes as a speculation when the blue haired boy shows up at his door at 2 am.
“Can I come in, Akashi-kun?” Kuroko says, his voice sounding strangely small. Akashi nods and holds the door for Kuroko to come in. The shorter male has a hood over his head so his face is hidden from Akashi’s view. He leads them to his kitchen. “Tea?” he asks. Kuroko nods so Akashi starts making some green tea for them. It’s quiet and Akashi knows better than to ask people about their problems, but rather waiting for them to tell him themselves.
“Here you go,” he says, placing a cup in front of Kuroko. Kuroko mumbles a ‘thank you’ and takes a sip. They’re silent, save the hum of the kitchen lights and Akashi’s generator. “I’m sorry for the intrusion,” Kuroko says after a while, refusing to meet Akashi’s eyes, making Akashi think if he’s actually sorry at all. “It’s no problem, I was awake, anyways,” he replies.
Kuroko fidgets with his mug, opens his mouth to say something but closes it and stays quiet. Akashi watches him while drinking from his cup. Even after all this time, it’s still so hard to read him. They’ve never been close but Akashi has absolutely no idea who Kuroko Tetsuya really is. A lot of people know Akashi, and he’s not just being conceited, his father is well known and he’s definitely well off, but the most Akashi knows about Kuroko is that he’s taking classes in the education department. They’ve mostly just said ‘hi’ or ‘how was your day?’ to each other if they had seen the other when going into their respective apartments.
“My boyfriend just broke up with me,” he finally blurts out. Akashi’s tea goes down the wrong throat and, embarrassingly, he starts a coughing fit right in front of Kuroko. Kuroko’s eyes widen as he rushes to the other side of the table and pats Akashi’s back. When the coughing asides, Kuroko looks more uncomfortable than ever. “I’m sorry, that was too much information…,” he says uneasily.
“No, it’s fine. I don’t care about sexualities. It was just…a surprise,” Akashi says in a strained voice, clearing his throat. Well, if it wasn’t awkward before, it’s sheer tension and uncomfortableness now.
“I- I should go,” Kuroko says, getting up and bowing but Akashi holds him back. He knows Kuroko’s feeling very uncomfortable, but their relationship (if he can even use that word) would get even weirder if he just let him go.
“Stay, I’ll listen,” he says, pushing Kuroko back into his seat. So, Kuroko reluctantly starts talking. By the end of Kuroko’s story of how his boyfriend, Kagami Taiga (a fellow classmate of Akashi’s, surprisingly), broke up with him over a phone call, they’re both planning the end of Kagami’s life.
When Kuroko gets up to leave, he surprises Akashi with a hug. “Thanks for listening, Akashi-kun,” Akashi is a bit flustered with his response of, “No problem,” but if Kuroko catches on, he doesn’t say anything. Kuroko leaves with a smile and Akashi is left with one puzzle piece to Kuroko Tetsuya.
2//
Akashi and Kuroko get much closer after the first occurrence, and soon they’re spending every hour with each other. After classes, Kuroko would come over to Akashi’s flat or vice versa and Akashi would help him with studying or they would just talk. Which is what they were doing right now.
“You know, you’ve never told me why you came to my house out of everyone the Kagami night,” Akashi speculates from his abode on Kuroko’s bed. Kuroko hums, and then proceeds to pretend he hasn’t heard him and continues to read his textbook. Akashi leans over and flicks his forehead.
“Ouch,” Kuroko says, shooting an annoyed look at Akashi who smirks in reply. “Fine, I’ll tell you,” he huffs. He rolls onto his side and looks up at Akashi with his head in his hand.
“You seemed like a good listener,” he says and then rolls back. Akashi scoffs. “That’s it?”
“What? Were you expecting something like “Oh! Akashi-sama will save me from the depths of my despair! He’ll be my knight in shining armor!”” Kuroko says. Akashi frowns and throws a pillow at him. “Quit it with the –sama,” he says and Kuroko laughs.
It’s a comfortable silence after that with Akashi looking through his notes and Kuroko doing his homework while humming a song that Akashi has heard several times through the radio.
“So, I’ve been talking to someone, lately,” Kuroko finally says. Akashi looks up from his notes at Kuroko, wearily. “Someone, huh?” he says. Kuroko nods. “His name is Aomine Daiki and he’s on the basketball team. He’s really nice,” he says, more to himself than Akashi.
Akashi looks at Kuroko again, assessing him and then nods slowly going back to work. “Don’t hurt yourself,” he says eventually.
“I won’t”
The weeks after their finals, Kuroko has been dubbing Akashi for this so called ‘Aomine’. Every time Akashi calls him to confirm their plans for the day, Kuroko blows him off with “im sorry, next time I promise!” while Akashi grumbles an “its fine”. Every morning they’re together itsAomine this or Aomine that. Akashi probably knows more about Aomine than his mother at this point. He finds Kuroko talking about him, almost endearing.
When Kuroko first introduced him to Aomine he knew why he had fell for him. From everything Kuroko had told him about Kagami, it all showed up in Aomine. He knew it wasn’t going to last but he smiled and waved the couple off anyways. He was being selfish but he craved Kuroko’s smile and he desperately wished that he’s wrong. He’s not.
It’s around 8pm, that he gets a call from Kuroko. “Hello?” he answers. There’s music booming in the background and Kuroko finally answers with a slurred, “Akashiiii-kunnn.” Akashi frowns and gets up immediately. “Kuroko, where are you?” He asks.
“I don’t knowww~,” he giggles and there’s another voice next to Kuroko’s saying “let’s go to the bedroom, tetsu”. Akashi’s eyes widens, and he’s out the door with his phone pressed against his ear.
“Kuroko, can you tell me what it looks like outside,” he asks urgently. He’s not about to let Kuroko get drunk and possibly have manipulated sex with a stranger. As expected of his luck, Kuroko giggles again and the phone cuts off. “Fuck!” Akashi curses, running to his car. He calls Kuroko several times, but it goes directly to message.
He drives around Tokyo until he reaches the local night club, which is his best luck in finding Kuroko. He gets out of his car and into the club in record speed, eyes scanning the room. Several hands try to grab at him but he pushes them away. Squinting through the dim lights, he thinks he sees a flash of pale hair and he pushes through sweaty bodies to get to Kuroko.
“Kuroko!,” he shouts over the pounding music, but the blue haired boy can’t hear him. That’s when he notices the man with Kuroko. He can’t see well in the lighting of the club but he recognizes the muscular build and tanned skin. He watches Aomine snake his hands into Kuroko’s shirt. A strange surge of anger builds up in Akashi and he pushes through the crowd to get to Kuroko. “Get off of him,” he glares at Aomine, pulling Kuroko away from him. Aomine and his crowd of friends get around him and Kuroko.
“What are you gonna do about it?” Aomine says, laughing, throwing and catching a small bottle in his hands before throwing it at Akashi. He catches it and reads the small writing on it. Rohypnol.
“Maybe you can use it on him,” Aomine laughs along with his friends and Akashi smiles. He bows at Aomine before getting up and throwing a punch at his face. “Eat shit,” he sneers, before grabbing Kuroko and getting out of the club.
The ride to their apartment complex is quiet, mainly because Kuroko is passed out in the back seat and Akashi is seething in anger. He wonders how much of the drug they gave Kuroko. God, He can’t let Kuroko out of his sight again. He parks into their lot and slams the car shut, before lighting a cigarette. It’s the first one in months, but it calms him so he doesn’t do anything stupid. He looks down into the car at Kuroko’s sleeping form. God, if he was a second too late… He honestly doesn’t know what could’ve happened. Right now, he’s just happy Kuroko didn’t get hurt. Physically. He isn’t too sure how Kuroko will feel emotionally.
“Fuck it,” he sighs, crushing the cigarette under his shoe and pulls Kuroko out of the car before piggy-backing him into his apartment. He tucks him into his bed, and then he himself gets comfortable on the floor. It’s around 10 pm, but the light from outside streams through his curtains and illuminate Kuroko’s face. Akashi leans up, his head supported by his hand. From here, he can see Kuroko so clearly. His soft hair, the bangs framing his oval face (perhaps too much, Akashi had been pestering him for a haircut he so needed), his smooth, pale skin and the slight part of his lips. His cheeks are dusted with a shade of a pink, possibly from his drunken state.
He looks beautiful.{1} Akashi has no idea how long he looked at Kuroko but he knows it feels endless. He goes to sleep facing Kuroko.
Kuroko cries the next morning. He’d found the rohypnol on the kitchen table. I really am a useless man, Akashi thinks as he holds Kuroko.
It takes a while before Kuroko’s smile returns but Akashi only hopes that this time, it stays.
3//
The rest of the summer is spent with the two of them going on a roadtrip to Kyoto where Akashi’s home was. However, it proved to be not so fun as most of it was spent with them lying on the floor, half naked, sweltering in the Kyoto heat.
“Akashi-kun, you promised this would be fun,” Kuroko whines from the floor. Akashi huffs, turning the fan to face him instead of Kuroko’s limp body. The blue haired boy makes a strangled noise before getting up and flopping himself over Akashi’s legs, generating a weird flutter in Akashi’s stomach.
“Sorry,” he mutters weakly. Kuroko rolls over so his back is on top of Akashi’s thighs. “Don’t be sorry,” he says, smiling up at Akashi with the same ferocity as the sun. God, he’s so beautiful. Akashi looks away, the pounding in his heart returning. He gently takes Kuroko’s head off of his thigh and excuses himself from the room as Kuroko hums another song, closing his eyes. He tiptoes into the bathroom, closing the door before sinking down to the floor.
He has to stop these feelings before they get too dangerous. He sighs, closing his eyes and trying to take Kuroko out of his mind. A knock on the bathroom door interrupts him. “Akashi-kun,” Kuroko’s voice sounds quiet. “Yeah?” he calls out, softly.
“I never really got around to it…but thank you,” he says. They both know why he’s thanking him, so there’s no bother even asking. Akashi’s heart is ready to beat out of his rib cage and he clutches his shirt, digging his fingers into his chest. “It’s fine,” he replies, softly. No, it’s not. He listens to the soft toes walk away and he runs a hand through his hair. Realizing a problem is the first step to its solution, and realization has finally dawned on him. He’s in love with Kuroko.
The start of their second year in college brought yet more pounding hearts and fluttering stomachs to Akashi. He found himself getting lower test grades because every time he went over to Kuroko’s to study, he’d be looking at the blue haired boy the entire time. But it was all a vain attempt, because he’d never be able to make Kuroko happy, he knows that. He stops going to Kuroko’s house to study, making up an excuse of him being sick.
It’s during lunch at the college, when he spots the two of them. Kuroko and a tall blonde man. He’s seen the blonde before, Kise Ryota, if he recalls. He’s well known as a model but that’s all he knows about him. So when he sees Kise and Kuroko eating lunch together, an unfamiliar pang of pain shoots at Akashi. “Stop that,” he mutters, ignoring the weirded looks of passerby. He watches the two of them walk until they find a table to sit down in. Akashi is assessing Kise of any ulterior motives that when he glances at Kuroko he’s almost blown away by the intensity of his smile. The sight warms his heart and he looks at Kuroko with a fond expression on his face.
“Yo, Akashi,” a voice calls out to him. Akashi turns around to face Nijimura Shuzo, his senior in the business and finance department. Nijimura walks up to him, hands in pockets and nods toward Kuroko. “You into him or something?” Akashi swallows something bitter.
He nods, carefully. “Then get it,” Nijimura laughs and slaps his back. “Not that simple,” Akashi smiles, bitterly.
Nijimura shrugs, then leaves. He stays for a couple more minutes, watching the two of them. He thinks of how easily Kuroko can date someone. How he can devote all his time and energy to someone. If he could do that to everyone else then why not me? He’s being bitter and he hates it. He hates how he’s mad at Kuroko and not himself.
He starts dating a guy. His name’s Mayuzumi Chihiro and he’s in his ethics class. He forgets if it was him who approached the gray-haired teen or vice versa. He brings Mayuzumi into his flat one day and one thing leads to another and suddenly he’s attacking him with his lips. Akashi tries, he tries but he feels nothing. Mayuzumi’s tongue feels foreign and slimy in his mouth but he goes along with it, wrapping his arms around his neck, trying to feel something, anything until a strained cough breaks them apart. Akashi looks up through hooded eyes at Kuroko. He immediately straightens up and pushes Mayuzumi off him.
“S-sorry, I’ll leave,” Kuroko says, color riding high in his cheeks. “Wait, Kuroko, I’m sorry,” Akashi says, his heart pounding, and not because of the heavy make out session he just had. Kuroko gives him a startled look before leaving out the front door.
Akashi curses under his breath and turns to glare at Mayuzumi, who’s leaning against the wall, smirking at Akashi knowingly. “Did you just date me to get him jealous or something?” he says.
“No,” Akashi spits, but doesn’t know why he’s so angry. “Alright,” Mayuzumi says, holding his hands up. “If it doesn’t go your way, my door is open,” he lilts and leaves his apartment. Akashi stares at his door for a while after Mayuzumi leaves. He isn’t sure if he fucked up really bad or just pretty bad.
After debating with himself for another ten minutes, he goes next door to Kuroko’s. Unsurprisingly, his door is open, despite the many times Akashi had told him about locking it to which Kuroko would protest, “It’s only ever you that comes into my house without knocking, Akashi-kun!” Akashi sighs. It was so much easier falling in love than out.
He stands in front of the bedroom door he had so many times barged in without knocking, and now he’s hesitant. He puts up a fist and knocks, three hard times. The door opens a moment later with Kuroko looking at him with wide eyes. “Oh! Akashi-kun,” he smiles and opens the door. He doesn’t look like he’s uncomfortable, so that’s a plus. Akashi plops down on the floor next to the pile of papers which he assumes is Kuroko’s study session.
“Listen, I’m really sorry you were there during that…incident. I broke up with him so-,” he’s cut off with a pillow thrown to his head. “Hey!,” he frowns but stops when he sees the look on Kuroko’s face. He looks furious.
“How could you Akashi-kun? Why are you so selfless?” Selfless, huh? Akashi’s eyes widen. “You’re not giving yourself a chance to be happy. I don’t want you to stick nagging over me, I want you to grow up and get married and be happy okay!” Kuroko says, his face red. Akashi’s silent.
“You think I’m nagging over you?” he starts, quietly. Kuroko’s stricken, as if realizing the impact of his words, “No- wait, I don’t-,”
“Kuroko, everything I’ve ever done, I do for you,” Akashi says in disbelief. After all this time, and he thinks I’m nagging over him? This time, it’s Kuroko who’s quiet. “I know, Akashi-kun, I know,” he says, almost inaudibly. He and Kuroko are alike in this way. They’re silent fighters. There’s no harsh words but the silence is sometimes just as hurtful.
“Give him a chance, Akashi-kun. Even if he’s not the one, there are more fish in the sea,” he says, offering a smile. Akashi nods numbly, not even bothering to fight back. He gets up and leaves without another word.
He lights up a cigarette that night.
The next day, they’re back to normal. If Kuroko doesn’t seem him around Mayuzumi often he doesn’t say anything, which Akashi is grateful for. Kise and Kuroko hang out more often, but this time Akashi’s in the mix.
“So, Kise, Kuroko’s nice right?” Akashi pries, as soon as Kuroko leaves the room. He’s assessing Kise, like how a father assess’ his daughter’s boyfriend. Kise seems bubbly and way too excited for this question.
“Kurokocchi is soo nice! Like how today we were at the café and he offered to pay for our food, but of course I was like ‘No way Kurokocchi! I can pay for us’ and then he blushed it was so cute,” Kise gushes. Akashi finds his weird way of adding –cchi to everyone’s name annoying. Kise’s phone buzzes and Akashi watches as he picks up and brightens. “Hi, Kasamatsu-san! - Yeah I’m fine…ooh tonight? Yes!- love you too bye!,” he says and Akashi feels his stomach drop. “Kise was that your boy-“he says but Kuroko cuts in, walking in with a plate of cookies.
“I made cookies for all of us!” Kuroko says and Akashi swallows the bile in his throat as he watches Kuroko look at Kise with love in his eyes. He’s jealous, he admits it, and he’s straight up jealous and the pang of hurt stings more when he watches Kise give Kuroko less than half the attention he’s giving him. He wants to shake Kise and tell him, no, beg him to pay attention to the beautiful boy that’s utterly in love with him, wants to tell him to make him happy and always make him smile, never make him cry or angry, and be just as loving to him that he is to you.
Akashi waits until Kise to leave before turning to Kuroko. He opens his mouth when Kuroko turns to him, his face broken down, and tears forming at the corner of his eyes. “I heard,” he says. Akashi nods, the I told you so is left in the air. Kuroko falls down onto the kitchen floor, holding his knees up to his chest and Akashi follows him.
“Am I incapable of finding love?” he asks, sounding distraught. Akashi shakes his head. “Am I ugly?” Akashi shakes his head, the same pain digging into his chest, allowing no air to pass through his lungs. No, you’re absolutely breathtaking. “Am I not good enough?” he says, sounding exhausted, and Akashi wonders how many smiles he’s faked since Kagami, since before he met him.
“There are more fish in the sea,” he mumbles weakly. Open your eyes Kuroko, I’m right here, I’ll love you more than anyone else. Kuroko nods, numbly before getting up to leave. Akashi takes it as his cue to head back home. He goes back home, the sight of Kuroko’s broken down face wreaking havoc in his heart.
4//
It’s nearing the end of their second year when Akashi catches Kuroko staring at a certain brunette. It’s during a lunch period when Akashi is the only one talking while Kuroko is staring to his left at the boy. Akashi leans over to flick Kuroko in the forehead, who in return lets out a whine. The flutter of his stomach returns.
“Well? Aren’t you going to talk to him?” Akashi says, in between a mouthful of onigiri. Kuroko blushes. “I just think he’s cute…I know nothing about him,” he mumbles. Don’t talk to him then, he’s not even in any of your classes. “Just go up to him, you’ll never know someone if you don’t talk to them.” Kuroko nods, absentmindedly.
So Akashi, crestfallen, watches as Kuroko gets up and goes to where Ogiwara Shigehiro is sitting, watches as Kuroko sits down next to them, watches both of them laugh and walk off together, watches as Kuroko never looks back at him.
Akashi crushes the juice box in his hand, furiously sucking the apple juice from its contents. “Still crushing hard, huh Akashi?” a voice says, making Akashi snort out apple juice. He turns to glare at the intruder. Nijimura smirks at him before taking the seat next to him. Akashi scoffs. “It’s that Kuroko kid isn’t it? Nice one he is, cute too,” he winks, grabbing a French fry from Akashi’s plate.
Akashi doesn’t respond instead goes back to drowning in self sorrow. “Thought you two were dating actually,” Nijimura says, looking at Akashi curiously. Akashi laughs bitterly. Ha, I wish.
“Why do you keep following me anyways,” Akashi says, exasperated. “I like to catch up on my adorable kouhai’s life,” he says, holding up a peace sign. “Shut the fuck up,” Akashi mutters.
“It’s been a year Akashi, if you’re not gonna bag that Kuroko kid, I’m gonna do it myself,” Nijimura jokes. Akashi shoots him a glare that has him close his mouth immediately. “At least go to the topic of him dating you, eh?” Nijimura says, patting his back before leaving. Akashi hums a reply.
“What kind of guys do you date anyways?” Akashi says, trying to sound nonchalant when in reality he had practiced that one line for at least thirty minutes.
“What an odd question,” Kuroko laughs. “Anyone that can make me happy, I guess.” Another lump forms in Akashi’s throat. They’re in Kuroko’s living room, watching movies and reviewing for finals. “That makes me a candidate huh?” Akashi jokes nervously. Kuroko looks at Akashi thoughtfully before laughing. “Yeah, I guess it does.” Kuroko furrows into Akashi’s side for the rest of the movie and if he feels Akashi’s rapid heartbeat under his sweater, he doesn’t say anything.
Ogiwara is probably the best boyfriend Kuroko has had so far, if Akashi says so himself. They’ve been together for 2 months now, and it’s been Ogiwara this and Ogiwara that (which is what Kuroko had said with Aomine) and they’ve been eating lunch more often (which is what Kuroko did with Kise). Akashi and Kuroko barely see each other anymore. Ogiwara always has him out on dates or sleepovers and Akashi is left home, alone. In fact, he’s so alone he has to resort to inviting Nijimura to his flat.
“Just so you know, I wouldn’t have done this if I wasn’t so bored,” he grumbles from the couch while Nijimura cheerfully eats from the bag of chips. They’re watching a random anime on TV since there is literally nothing else to watch.
“I know you just want to spend time with your senpai, Akashi,” Nijimura says, looking at him in disappointment. Akashi throws a pillow at him. “You should get a job, meet some hunnies to distract you from Kuroko,” Nijimura says. Akashi snorts. “As if,” he mutters.
“Young love,” Nijimura says whistling. It’s quiet, save for the television until Nijimura speaks up again. “Ya, remember that girl I kept moaning about?” Akashi quirks a brow in his direction. “Momoi Satsuki?”
“Yeah, anyways I heard something weird from her boyfriend, Aomine-“Akashi clenches his fist in anger, “- I heard that he dated Kuroko before, weird huh? He’s so popular and shit and Kuroko… well he’s just Kuroko,” Nijimura laughs.
“I beg to differ,” Akashi says, eyeing Nijimura. “Anyways, he was telling me how whenever he went out with Kuroko, he’d always talk about you, funny right? Going out with your boyfriend and ending up talking about your neighbor the entire time?” Nijimura laughs. “Yeah...” Akashi says. He doesn’t want to get his hopes up. He should never. The rest of the day is spent with him and Nijimura marathoning High School DXD.
Their summer is spent nicely. Kuroko and Ogiwara go on dates and often bring Akashi with him. It’s enjoyable on Akashi’s part because he seldom feels like he’s third-wheeling. Every so often he feels a pang of jealousy when Ogiwara leans over to kiss Kuroko but he hides it deep within his mind. It’s a day with clear blue skies does Akashi’s heart really break.
“I lost my virginity yesterday,” Kuroko says and Akashi’s smiling but he can’t hold it anymore and the dam inside him breaks. His smile fails him and he turns away from Kuroko. “That’s great! He didn’t hurt you did he?” he says, trying hard to sound supportive but he feels like someone took a hammer and smashed his insides into pulp.
“No, it was fine,” Kuroko answers. Akashi doesn’t want to see the look on Kuroko’s face but he’s glad he isn’t rubbing salt on the wound because he really wishes Kuroko would give his heart a break. He knows it’s impossible. He can’t ever have Kuroko but just the teeniest part of him dreams about a life where him and Kuroko could be together, where Kuroko was his first kiss and not a trashy make out session from Mayuzumi, where Kuroko was his first time and not some random girl at a college party, a life where him and Kuroko grow up together and where Kuroko actually loves him back.
“Akashi-kun, I want to break up with him,” Kuroko says, and he looks lost and confused. Yes! Break up with him! Please! “Kuroko, why? You’re happy with him. You’ve been the happiest with him,” Akashi says instead, desperately hoping Kuroko doesn’t hear the waver in his voice.
“I know, it’s ridiculous and Ogiwara-kun is amazing but- I’m not happy,” Kuroko says, pulling his knees to his chest. A deep wave of sadness and anger washes over Akashi. “How can you be so selfish?” Akashi clips out, brokenly. Kuroko’s eyes widen at his sudden change in emotion.
“Don’t you know there are people who care about you? That there are people who want to see you happy? How could you let them down?” He says, the lump in his throat refusing to pass. “I know, but I don’t think he’s the one, Akashi-kun,” Kuroko sighs.
That’s when Akashi crosses the line. He’s fed up with Kuroko finding the love of his life and always always looking over him. Akashi, who always holds Kuroko through heartbreaks, who feeds him soup when he’s sick, who locks Kuroko’s front door to protect him, who helps him study through finals, who’s always there for him. “You’re a real heartbreaker, Kuroko Tetsuya,” he laughs bitterly before leaving.
He can hear Kuroko crying through the thin walls of the complex that night.
Akashi goes over to Kuroko’s flat at 3am. He feels like someone took a knife and cut him into pieces and then cut those little pieces into even more pieces. Maybe Kuroko can hold him through a heart break this time. He opens the front door slowly, then closing it before walking into Kuroko’s bedroom.
Kuroko is sleeping so he nudges his small form before his eyelids flutter open. He looks startled, then sad, and apologetic. “I feel like shit, Kuroko” Akashi whispers in the dark. Kuroko nods and moves over in the bed so Akashi can lie down with him. The sheets smell like the vanilla that forever clings onto Kuroko’s skin and of Tokyo right after a thunderstorm.
“I’m really sorry for today. I’ve been a terrible person to you, I always take you for granted and I’m so sorry if I’ve ever made you feel bad,” Kuroko says solemnly, fingers running through Akashi’s hair. Akashi hums against Kuroko’s neck, arms wrapped around his chest. Kuroko’s chin taps against the top of his head and the fingers against his scalp are incredibly soothing.
“Akashi-kun has such nice hair,” Kuroko sighs. Akashi wishes he could stay like this forever. He wants to wake up next to Kuroko every day. Right now, he’s lost in bliss and the warmth of Kuroko’s arms. Kuroko’s rambling nonsense, but Akashi is content with where he is and soon falls asleep. Kuroko continues to run his fingers through soft, scarlet strands of hair. “You’re a really good friend, Seijuro,” he says quietly. He feels Akashi’s arms tighten around his waist and he doesn’t know if Akashi’s still awake but he hopes he heard that.
Kuroko breaks up with Ogiwara the next day.
5//
The start of their senior year in college starts suddenly. Kuroko and Akashi don’t see each other often due to exams and deadlines and Kuroko has to work late at the café he works part-time in. Kuroko seldom sees Akashi due to the direction of their courses; his as a teacher and Akashi as an entrepreneur. Akashi. He’s been on Kuroko’s mind for the longest time.
He tells himself that Akashi only thinks of him as a friend but Kuroko is confused of what he feels for the red-head as well. Whenever Akashi smiles, his heart pounds strangely and whenever he says his given name, it feels like his insides turn into goo. The last time he had seen Akashi was two days ago, when they had breakfast together. After that it was work and classes. He missed seeing the redhead and he wondered what was up with him lately. The times they do get to talk, it’s mostly Kuroko. Akashi rarely talks about himself.
Kuroko yawns while cleaning the counter. The clock on the wall reads 11:00 in angry red letters. He’s been working for about 5 hours. He leans over the counter scanning the empty coffee shop in false hope a customer will come in to keep him busy. He’s dozing off when a tap on his head jolts him out of his nap.
“Yes! How can I help you?” He says loudly, surprised until he looks to see who had awakened him. He huffs as Akashi laughs. His stomach flutters when he takes in Akashi’s appearance. His red hair had gotten longer since their second year of college and stress from working and classes had caused his cheeks to sink in, but not in a bad way. Kuroko had to look away to keep himself from blushing.
“Aaaaah, Akashi-kun, have you come to pick me up from my despair,” Kuroko says, busying himself with counting the money from the register. “I actually came to order a drink, but I can work with that too,” he jokes and Kuroko leans over the register to flick him across the forehead but Akashi’s crazy good reflexes have him dodging it so now they’re lips are a millimeter apart from each other. If Kuroko can lean in just a little more- Akashi laughs nervously and leans away. They’re both a little awkward at first until Akashi orders a lemonade.
“How do you come into a coffee shop and order a lemonade,” Kuroko murmurs. “I do what I like!” Akashi yells from his seat. “Sh! Keep it down, this place echoes,” Kuroko says, shooting the redhead a glare which prompts him to belt out the opening to Doraemon as loud as he can. Kuroko can’t help but laugh at his wild behavior. He has himself to thank for that. He can remember a time when they first started college, where Akashi was quiet and behaved and smart. Not that he isn’t behaved and smart now, but he’s recently just started living. God knows what it was like back when he was with his father. He’s thankful he met Akashi.
Kuroko joins him in on the second chorus as he plops down on the seat across from him with two lemonades. “Are you gonna charge yourself for that?” Akashi asks, gesturing to the free drink he made for himself. “It’s on the house,” Kuroko smiles, sipping at the sour beverage.
“How’s economics?” Kuroko asks. Akashi makes a face. “Horrible, but I’m at the top of my class so its whatever,” he shrugs playfully. “Youre so conceited!” Kuroko says, slapping at his hand. His breath get caught in his throat when Akashi takes his hand and joins them with his. It’s quiet and Kuroko looks down at their joined hands, Akashi’s long fingers wrapped around Kuroko’s small slender ones. Their skin tones two different shades of pale. Kuroko swallows.
“Akashi-kun-,” he starts. He hates this. He hates being in love with him. He hates it because Akashi will quite literally give him the world if he wanted it and all Kuroko can give him is himself. “Tetsuya, you know what to call me,” he murmurs lowly. The feeling Kuroko gets when Akashi says his name like that can’t be described. It makes him feel like they’re lovers but that can’t ever happen.
Kuroko gulps again. “Seijuro-kun,” he starts shakily, but he can’t concentrate. Not when Akashi’s wide eyes are looking at him like that, not when his thumb is rubbing circles on the small of his wrist, and surely not when his heart is pounding away in his chest. He thinks he feels a little lightheaded. Because it’s Akashi. Akashi with his scarlet hair and his crazy red eyes, Akashi with his warm hands and even warmer arms, Akashi with his ability to read right through Kuroko, Akashi whom Kuroko has loved before he even knew he loved him. Fuck it.
“I love you,” he says, his voice thick with emotion. Akashi looks startled. Kuroko feels like a weight has been lifted from his shoulders and suddenly he’s crying.
“Oh God, It’s always been you, hasn’t it? Since that very first day, Ak- Seijuro. You were always there,” His voice is wobbling and his chest is heaving. He hasn’t cried like this since elementary school but it feels good, liberating. He feels Akashi holding him and Kuroko grasps onto him, afraid that if he lets go Akashi will be gone. “I love you, Tetsuya,” He hears Akashi mumble in his ear.
It pains him to know Akashi loved him so much longer than he knew he had. He stayed with him even though all Kuroko did was ignore him. That’s what makes him cry harder. So they stay there, crying and mumbling “I Love You’s” to each other. It’s not the greatest confession, but it works.
//2 years later//
“Seijuro, wake up,” Kuroko mumbles, pushing his palm into Akashi’s face. “No,” Akashi mumbles, pulling Kuroko closer to him. “We have work,” Kuroko yawns, feeling alongside the bed for the alarm clock.
“Not today, Tetsuya. You forgot to reset the alarms, it’s Saturday,” Akashi says, huskily in his ear. ”Fuck,” Kuroko curses. Akashi laughs. “You’re such a bad influence on me, you know? I’ve never cursed once until I started dating you,” Kuroko huffs and pokes Akashi’s cheek.
“You love me,” Akashi says, kissing his cheek. “Don’t state the obvious, Akashi-kun,” Kuroko says, blushing. Even after all these years, small things like this will get to him. “How can you blush at a kiss on the cheek after what we did last night?” Kuroko throws a pillow at his face.
Some things never change.
fin.