Archive of Our Own ^beta

Jimin’s face is beet red. Namjoon is speechless.

“What?” Namjoon says, unsure if he heard Jimin correctly.

Jimin looks a little faint in the light Namjoon’s apartment, standing in the entryway in front of his door, hands squeezed so tightly in front of him his knuckles have gone white.

“I- ” Jimin starts, and swallows, clearing his throat. If Namjoon wasn’t so shocked, he might feel bad for making Jimin say it again, because he clearly doesn’t want to. “I was wondering if you’d like to try going on a date. With me.”

He did hear correctly. Oh.

Sudden heat overtakes Namjoon’s face. Oh. What?

Jimin starts speaking quicker than Namjoon’s ever heard him speak before, looking anywhere but at Namjoon’s face. “If you don’t want to, I understand, it’s sort of a weird thing to ask, I know, I’m sorry, I don’t want to ruin our friendship. Actually, you know what, just forget I even said anything-” He begins to turn away, reaching for the doorknob, cheeks a deep, bright red. 

“Wait,” Namjoon says, and Jimin stiffens so abruptly it’s as if Namjoon’s voice casted some sort of freezing spell over him.

Jimin turns, eyes wide and a little scared.

Namjoon realizes that he, too, feels scared, once he digs beneath his shock. This isn’t a question he ever expected to hear in his life. It feels like suddenly standing on the edge of a tall, jagged cliff, and if they fall down the wrong way, it’ll be hard time climbing back up. 

But turn down Jimin? Impossible. 

“I’ll go on a date with you,” Namjoon says. The heat of his face travels down his neck.

Jimin looks at him more fully, surprise in his eyes. “You will?”

“Yeah,” Namjoon says.

“Oh,” Jimin says. He blinks. “Okay.”

“Okay.”

Silence. Namjoon hears his heart beating in his ears.

“Um,” Jimin says. His eyes skitter away from Namjoon’s. “Are you free next Friday night?”

If he’s not, Namjoon will cancel any plans he has. “Yes.”

“Okay,” Jimin says again. “I’ll text you with plans?”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

They stand there, and it’s a little excruciating.

Then Jimin thanks him for hanging out, which they never really thank each other for, and he slips out Namjoon’s apartment door into the autumn night. Namjoon stands in the hallway, listening to Jimin’s footsteps fade until they’re gone. The silence rings in his ears.

But in his chest, there’s something new, and fluttering, and more hopeful than he’d ever let himself realize, taking root.

-

“Good morning, Hoseokie-hyung!”

Taehyung swoops out of nowhere, pressing a big, loud kiss to Hoseok’s cheek across the table from Namjoon. Hoseok laughs, swatting at Taehyung, red-faced, before he pulls him back by the collar for proper good morning kiss.

It’s a little sickening. Namjoon has to see it most mornings.

“And good morning, Namjoonie-hyung,” Taehyung says, looking across the table at Namjoon with wide, bright eyes. Any frustration Namjoon ever feels always melts instantly in Taehyung’s warmth.  

“Morning, Taehyung-ah,” Namjoon says. “Off to work?”

“Hmmhm,” Taehyung hums, “but I’ve got to get my muffin and see my Jiminie, first.”

He bounds up from Hoseok’s lap and over to the counter, where Jimin is manning an espresso machine. At this hour, the line is mostly cleared of the pre-work rush and there are only a few people in line in front of Taehyung. Namjoon watches as he waves to Jimin, and Jimin cheerfully waves back.

Jimin’s gaze slides to Namjoon’s, catching his eye. Namjoon averts his eyes before he can think about it.  

He doesn’t really know what to do with this new thing between them, has no idea what to even call it. Has it even had a chance to be a thing, yet?

So far, they’re proceeding with things as they normally do. Namjoon goes to Jimin’s café at eight o’ clock sharp to start his work day because his job is remote, his office based in Europe, and he can’t exactly manage the commute from Seoul. More often than not, Hoseok, the social media marketing freelancer that he is, joins him. It’s a nice little office, with friends like Taehyung constantly passing through, and Namjoon loves the feeling of working with people always nearby, a comradery of quietude.

Except he’s never been quite so keenly aware of Jimin’s presence behind the counter as he is now. 

Jimin asked him out on Saturday, and by Sunday afternoon he had texted Namjoon with a plan to meet at the train station near his place on Friday night at seven. The place Jimin had in mind for dinner was casual, no need to wear anything fancy and not terribly expensive. It was like anything else they’d do on a normal Friday night. 

Except this is going to be a date, and the knowledge of it tints everything with a special kind of light in Namjoon’s mind. It's a tiny beacon of excitement and nerves that has been tucked in his chest since the moment Jimin had left his apartment on Saturday. 

It feels fragile. He hasn’t told anyone else. To say it out loud, to expose it to air, feels like it would damage it before it has a chance to become anything. Namjoon doesn’t even know who he would tell first. That’s always been Jimin.

It all swims around very confusingly in Namjoon’s mind. 

He tries to focus on his work, push all of this out of his mind and get at least one thing done. He’s normally good at zoning his surroundings out, but every small sound from Jimin’s direction pings at the antennas of Namjoon’s ears today. Namjoon reaches into his bag, rummaging for his headphones, but Taehyung’s voice floats over before he can find them. 

“You’re busy Friday?” Taehyung says, and Namjoon can hear the pout in his voice. “With something more important than me?” 

Jimin laughs, light and natural. “Why don’t you take Hoseok to your paint night?” 

“He has a dance thing,” Taehyung says. He sighs. “Are you sure you can’t come?” 

“Sorry,” Jimin says, and there’s still humor in his voice. “Ask Jungkookie, I think he’d like it.” 

“Jungkook always gets so intense at these sorts of things,” Taehyung mutters. “He suddenly turns into a big serious artist and stops paying attention to anything but his work, even though it’s supposed to be just for fun. You never stop paying attention to me!” 

“Of course I don’t,” Jimin says. Out of the corner of his eye, Namjoon sees him reach forward and pat Taehyung on the cheek. “But I have plans already. Maybe next time.” 

Taehyung sighs again, dejected, as though if he’s pathetic enough Jimin will change his mind. Minutes tick by as Jimin makes Taehyung’s drink while they talk about something else, and when Jimin hands Taehyung his drink, he doesn’t change his mind. 

Namjoon feels himself deflate in relief when Taehyung finally leaves the counter. He stops at Namjoon and Hoseok’s table again for a goodbye kiss before he leaves. 

“Jiminie won’t come with me to paint on Friday,” Taehyung says. He looks at Namjoon. “Hyung, change his mind, Jimin always listens to you.” 

Namjoon didn’t quite think that’s true, considering perhaps that it’s more often the opposite way around, but he doesn’t say that. 

“You have lots of friends,” Hoseok says instead. “Ask one of them.” 

“But Jimin’s my soulmate,” Taehyung says sadly. “I bet he has a date.” He instantly looks at Namjoon, as if asking for confirmation, and Namjoon feels his entire body freeze. Taehyung doesn't seem to notice. He continues, “It’d be more worth it for him to come with me, don’t you think? These guys never last.” 

Namjoon stays still. Hoseok laughs. 

“Are you saying Jimin dates too much?” Hoseok says, teasingly. “Are you jealous, Taehyungie?” 

Taehyung sits up straight. “No!” he says. Then he stops, considering.  “I mean- of course I am. But Jimin can date as much as he wants. I just wish he’d find good guys, and not these guys that don’t treat him like he’s the most special person in the universe, which he is. And they make me suffer because they keep stealing Jimin away when he could be doing fun things with me!” 

Hoseok smiles at Taehyung, his eyes full of fondness. “Poor you,” he says, and pets his hand consolingly, like Taehyung doesn't have a whole boyfriend he can spend time with. Taehyung and Hoseok have always fit so strangely, and so well.

“That’s right,” Taehyung says, letting Hoseok continue to pet him. “Jimin’s been so free the last few weeks. It’s been so fun! But I guess he downloaded the dating apps back to his phone.” 

Namjoon blinks a little. “He deleted them?” 

Taehyung nods. “Said he needed a break. To ‘think about things.’” He sulks. “I guess he’s done thinking.” 

Hoseok laughs again and pokes Taehyung in the cheek, erasing the pout and making him smile. “You don’t even know if he’s actually going on a date. Maybe he’s going to visit his grandma.” 

“Nana Park always competes at her bridge club on Fridays,” Taehyung says. 

Hoseok raises his eyebrows. “How do you know all this? I thought Namjoonie was Jimin’s best friend.”

Namjoon does know Nana Park plays bridge on Fridays. “I don’t think anyone can compete with Kim Taehyung.” 

Taehyung grins. He stands up and pats Namjoon’s hand. “Don’t worry, hyung, you’ll always be number one in Jimin’s heart.” 

The words make Namjoon’s stomach flip, jolting it with nerves, and as much as he loves Taehyung he thinks he’d like to get back to doing his work. Luckily, Taehyung finally departs after one more kiss on Hoseok’s lips, and the quiet that falls between them is a relief. 

Namjoon puts his headphones on and tries to focus on the document he’s proofing, but the text gets lost on trip from his eyes to his brain. Instead, all of the things Taehyung said loom freshly before him, begging for him to make sense of it. 

These guys never last.

Namjoon hadn’t even considered that he might be next in the long line of guys Jimin’s dated, just another box to tick off before the next. The thought fills him with a terrible kind of ugliness. 

But it feels wrong as soon as he thinks it. It’s cruel, to think that of Jimin. Jimin, who, in the past, has always trusted Namjoon with his tender dreams of love. 

He remembers, years ago, when the two of them had gone to a museum for Namjoon’s birthday. Namjoon hadn’t even spotted the couple, he hardly paid attention to the people around him, too focused on seeing the art, but later, as they were eating lunch in the museum cafeteria, Jimin had begun to muse between bites of his sandwich. 

“Hyung,” he’d said. “Did you see that old couple? In the room with the giant sculpture? The husband pushing his wife in the wheelchair?”

“Hmm?” Namjoon looked at him. “No, I don’t think so.” 

“Ah, hyung,” Jimin said. He put his sandwich down and, to Namjoon’s bewilderment, put his head in his hands. “They were so cute. I couldn’t look at the art because I wanted to look at them. They were like the art. They were just walking, enjoying each other’s company.” 

“Oh,” Namjoon said, watching him a little amusedly. “That- does sound moving.”

“It was,” Jimin said, looking up and meeting Namjoon’s eyes. There was an earnestness in them, like it was important Namjoon understand. “Can you imagine? To love someone so much, to enjoy each other’s company so much, after decades of marriage? To want to push them around and help them see things?” He sighed, and Namjoon could hear the longing in it. “It was moving.” 

Namjoon had laughed, but kindly. Jimin was a sweet guy; he’d always been that way. They’d been best friends since high school, so Namjoon probably knew it better than anyone. The amount of times Jimin had watched The Notebook was truly impressive. 

Namjoon had always known Jimin had wanted that sort of thing. He’d just never thought about it in the context of it including himself. 

But they haven’t even gone on their date yet. How had Jimin phrased it? He’d ask Namjoon if he wanted to try going on a date. Trying implied he wasn’t sure it would even be successful. And to think about the prospect of their experimental date leading to some sort of forever love is far too overwhelming for Namjoon to even want to touch right now. 

Overwhelming in a good or bad way, he’s not quite sure. 

Still, it’s hard not to wonder if Namjoon is another guy in Jimin’s long line of guys he’s dated on his quest to married-for-40-years, I’ll-take-care-of-you-when-you’re-sick, more-moving-than-art, forever love. That if after going down the highway of so many strangers, Jimin’s giving a new avenue a try, and it happens to be the one that Namjoon lives on.

Namjoon jolts back to reality when he hears his name being repeated. 

“Namjoon-ah. Namjoon-ah?” 

He looks up to find Hoseok looking at him, a crease between his eyebrows. 

“You were just staring at your computer, not moving,” he says. “Do you need more coffee? Here, give me your mug, I’ll get you a refill.” 

“You don’t have to-”

“I’m going up anyway,” Hoseok says, grabbing his own mug, and Namjoon doesn’t really believe him but he lets Hoseok take his cup. 

He watches as Hoseok flits up the counter, calling Jimin’s name in a sing-song voice, and the wide smile that comes over Jimin’s face when he appears from behind the espresso machine. One of those cute ones that reveals his dimple. People always said Namjoon had the best dimples, but he’d always thought that Jimin’s was criminally underrated. 

Namjoon feels his heart rate quicken. Is this how things are going to be now? His opinion on Jimin’s dimple had not been a new thought, but the little kick in his chest that accompanied it had been. 

Hoseok comes back with a freshly filled cup of coffee for him, and a free cookie from Jimin, and Namjoon looks at it, brain feeling overcrowded with thoughts and not sure of how to sort them out.

He looks up only to find Jimin already looking at him from behind the counter. A tiny smile comes over his lips, eye contact unwavering, and this  time Namjoon doesn’t look away. 

It’s Jimin. His best friend. Jimin’s never done anything to hurt him, and he wouldn’t start now. And especially not with something like this. 

Namjoon sends him a tiny smile back, their secret- small and nerve-wracking, yet also bright-  hovering between just the two of them, for now. 

-

The week somehow manages to inch by, Friday like a ledge approaching closer and closer as the week draws near its end. Every day Namjoon goes to Jimin’s cafe to work, and every day Jimin makes him his coffee and they make small talk and it’s like it always is, except it’s not. Except the tiny glow in Namjoon’s chest has been growing bigger every day, and by the time Friday morning arrives, it’s so big he can barely concentrate. 

“You okay, Joon-ah?” Hoseok asks, eyeing him. “You’ve seemed anxious this week.” 

“I’m fine,” Namjoon says. He wonders if it would help if he told someone about his date with Jimin, or if the added weight of others’ expectations would make it worse. Either way, he’s made it this far, and if Taehyung doesn’t know from Jimin (because they would all know, very quickly, if Taehyung knew anything), Namjoon is going to hold off saying anything to Hoseok. 

He watches customers come and go, Jimin greeting them with his usual charming kindness, and he thinks back to what Taehyung had said about how he’d deleted his dating apps. As he watches Jimin serve a cute guy an espresso and very much not flirt with him, it strikes him that he hasn’t seen Jimin with a guy in weeks. Or has it been months? How has he not noticed?

Usually Jimin’s hookups and boyfriends would visit him at work all the time. Ordinarily, Jimin didn’t even bother to introduce them to Namjoon, but would always ask, later, “Hyung, what did you think of Jihyuk? He’s the one that came and got a vanilla latte today. And he tipped me. I think he’s handsome, don’t you?” Namjoon would usually affirm him and say the guy seemed nice enough, but he  always assumed that when Jimin found a guy that was truly worth it, he wouldn’t even need to ask. 

Namjoon hadn’t even realized how quiet it had been. 

He tries to align it in his head. Jimin deleted his dating apps. Jimin stopped dating for months. Then Jimin asked him out. 

Namjoon doesn’t want to make any assumptions, but it's hard not to draw conclusions from that.  But before he thinks too far ahead, they need to go on their date. 

Jimin usually leaves before him, getting off his shift around two while Namjoon stays for a few more hours, Hoseok already long gone. Today is no different, and when Jimin’s about to head for the door, he stops at Namjoon’s table, where he sits alone. 

“See you tonight?” he says, and it’s a little shy. His beanie is tugged down over his ears, jacket zipped to his chin. 

Namjoon nods. He can feel his neck going hot. “See you tonight.” He smiles at him, and Jimin smiles back, and this secret thing burns bright.

Namjoon watches Jimin leave the cafe, and then round the corner, leaves stirring on the sidewalk around him. He sits there, letting the sounds of the espresso machine and chatter of people around him turn into a buzz in his ears, which turns into a buzz under skin.

He tries to get a bit more work done, but it's useless. Finally, he closes his laptop and gets up to leave. 

He has a date to get ready for. 

-

When Namjoon gets to the train station, Jimin is already there. 

He stands with his hands in his pockets, in a dark, form-fitting jacket and jeans that hug his hips. Namjoon’s eyes sweep over him, and then stop, and then start again because he’s allowed- this is a date- and then stop again because this is Jimin, his best friend. But wait, he is allowed-

Jimin spots him and a smile comes over his face, bright and a little shy. Namjoon’s brain blanks a little, and he walks over to meet him.

“Hi, hyung,” Jimin says. His hair is swept back in the same way Namjoon has watched him style it for so many dates in the past. Natural, but flawless, he remembers Jimin saying one night in school as he stood in front of the mirror, getting ready to meet a guy in his economics class. Namjoon had lounged around on his bed playing on his phone before Jimin left. It looks like it only took two minutes to style. Namjoon remembers him fiddling with the hairspray for so long it took twenty.  

Nerves swirl in Namjoon’s chest. The image of Jimin putting that kind of effort into his appearance for him, Namjoon, who’s seen him in every state imaginable, is as strange as it is invigorating.

Namjoon swallows the feelings down. Then he remembers he doesn’t have to.

“Hi, Jimin-ah,” Namjoon says, smiling back. 

They stand there for a moment, like this is the first time either of them have been to a train station and don’t know how to proceed. Jimin shifts, brushes his forehead like there’s a piece of loose hair there, even though it’s all perfectly in place. “Let’s go?”

Namjoon nods. “Let’s go.”

When they get to the platform, they have to wait five minutes for the train. It takes Namjoon a moment to realize what’s so strange about this, until he realizes- while they often tend to be on time, neither of them are ever so early. Usually they’re sprinting after trains.

And yet here they are. Both early for their date. 

Jimin pushes the invisible hair from his forehead again. “So,” he says. He gazes around the platform. He glances at Namjoon. “How was your day, hyung?”

Jimin really does look very good. Suddenly, Namjoon can’t remember much from his day. Jimin was there for most of it.  “Yeah, um. It was good. You?”

Jimin nods. “Yeah. You know. Just work.”

“Yeah,” Namjoon says.

“Mhm,” Jimin says. 

They fall into silence. Namjoon bites on the tip of his tongue and glances up at the train arrival time. Still another four minutes. Since when are trains this slow? 

“Did you see that guy that came in with the cat today?” Jimin suddenly asks, and Namjoon looks back at him. Jimin’s eyes are already on Namjoon’s face. 

Namjoon would remember if he saw a cat. “No. In the shop? Is that allowed?” 

“It was in a customer’s bag. I’m not sure if my manager saw it, but it was really cute, so I didn't say anything. I think it was a kitten.” Jimin grins a little.

That does sound cute. “Why didn’t you point it out to me?” 

Jimin’s eyes falter a little, and he scratches the tip of his ear. “Oh. I- well you looked busy.” 

“That’s never stopped you from interrupting me before.” Namjoon means for it to be teasing, but a strange blush blooms across Jimin’s nose. Like he’s embarrassed. 

Namjoon quickly backtracks. “I mean- I wouldn't have minded, Jimin-ah.” 

“Sorry,” Jimin says.

“You don’t have to be sorry,” Namjoon says. 

Luckily, in the next moment, the train decides to finally arrive. 

The train is crowded- it is a Friday night, after all- and there are no places to sit, so Namjoon lets Jimin lead them to a section of overhead railingfte for them to hang on to. It’s a tight fit, squeezing between commuters and other passengers. Ordinarily Namjoon wouldn’t think very much of Jimin squeezing in beside him, or even hanging on to him. But tonight, he finds himself distinctly aware of the entire left side of his body that’s pressed up against Jimin’s. 

It’s an awkward position to talk in, and the train is quiet anyway, so Namjoon is a little relieved that they don’t have to. He quickly tries to think of some conversation topics he can bring up over dinner. He remembers, once, when Jungkook had asked out someone he worked with, and how he’d written conversation starters on flashcards to calm his nerves. Namjoon had thought he was a bit silly, but now he thinks he gets it.

Except none of those conversation starters would even be useful with Jimin. They’re past normal first date questions. Namjoon knows what Jimin studied in school, where he works, what his goals are, how many kids he’d like one day. So what does he ask? What do they talk about? Should he try to flirt? Just the thought of trying out a pickup line on Jimin makes him want to fly off the face of the earth. 

“Hyung,” Jimin tugs on his elbow. “This is our stop.” 

Namjoon nods. He still doesn’t know what he’s going to talk about at dinner, but as he follows Jimin off the train, the movement makes him feel a little less anxious. 

The streets are alive and crowded. Neon lights flash from store windows to get their attention. Pop music cycles through Namjoon’s ears with each shop they stroll by, and teens giggle in front of them as they pass a phone playing a video back and forth. 

Finally, Jimin leads him into a restaurant. It’s busy, but the volume level immediately falls into something far more comfortable and the lights are far more soothing to the eyes. It’s a simple place– wood paneled walls- but the food immediately smells delicious, and Namjoon realizes how hungry he is.

They’re quickly shown to a small booth along the window. The activity outside is muted by the glass, and Namjoon relaxes a fraction. This is nice. Jimin picked a nice place.

“Have you been here before?” Namjoon asks as Jimin takes off his jacket. He has a fitted gray shirt on, a little loose around his neck. Namjoon knows he likes to show off his moon tattoo, and tonight the sudden thought of it is joltingly tantalizing.

Namjoon is trying to clear his head as Jimin looks up at him and nods. His eyes look darker in the soft light, deep and brown. “Tae’s brought me here a few times, he likes the pork belly.”

So Namjoon orders pork belly, and noodles, and an appetizer- and another appetizer– and Jimin is laughing silently in his chair as the waitress walks away with their orders.

“Ah, don’t make fun of me, I’m hungry,” Namjoon says, knowing his voice is on the edge of a whine but unable to help it.

“You know I’m paying, so now you get to order everything you want?” Jimin says, giggling into his hand.

Oh- oh no. Namjoon didn’t even think about that. He’s so used to them paying for themselves, or trading off, or Namjoon covering it because he’s the hyung, that he’d completely forgotten.

“I didn’t- I forgot, wait-”

A foot taps his beneath the table and he breaks off. Jimin puts his chin on the heel of his hand, smiling a little. “Hyung,” he says, looking at Namjoon. "Don’t worry. It’s fine.” He tilts his head, coy, but the effect is softened by the way his cheeks dust with a vague pink. He ducks his chin into his hand a little. “I knew what I was getting myself into.”

Namjoon feels his face instantly go hot. Oh. Oh?

“Well…that’s good,” Namjoon says, and immediately feels so dumb. Jimin is- is flirting with him.

Namjoon has been on dates before. He knows how to do this. He swears he does. It’s just- Jimin. This is Jimin. The newness and familiarity swim in his brain and blend like paint and repel like oil and water at the same time.

Luckily, Jimin doesn’t look put off. If anything, he’s smiling wider, mouth pressing harder into his hand. Namjoon doesn’t know what to do with it. He thinks he feels flustered.

But he can’t let Jimin do all the work. “You look really good tonight,” he blurts.

Jimin’s chin slips off of his hand, cheeks flushing. 

He recovers, dipping his head down to hide his smile like he’s shy. It’s stupidly sweet, and it feels a little strange to know he put that look on Jimin’s face, but it doesn’t feel bad. Namjoon’s entire stomach fills with butterflies. 

Jimin lifts his head, cheeks still pink. “You look good too,” he says. “You always look goo-”

“Jiminie?” comes a voice. “Hyung?” 

Jimin startles, eyes going wide. Namjoon blinks. 

“So you weren’t on a date! Why didn’t you tell me you were just hanging out with Namjoon-hyung?” Taehyung says, approaching their table with a wide smile on his face. Past his shoulder, Jungkook follows close behind. When he reaches them, he punches Jimin on the arm. “And at my favorite restaurant!” 

Jimin rubs his arm. “Ah, Taehyung-ah-”

“Have you gotten your food yet?” Taehyung says, looking down at their empty table. 

“No, but-”

“Perfect,” Taehyung says. He pokes at Jimin’s shoulder, like he's nudging him over. “Jungkookie and I are joining.” 

“Hyung, you should at least ask,” Jungkook is polite enough to say, but he’s already approaching Namjoon’s side of the booth.

“Taehyungie-” Jimin starts again. Taehyung doesn’t wait for his answer and pushes his way into the booth with him. Namjoon automatically makes room for Jungkook, who slides in beside him. 

“Jungkookie and I just finished our paint night,” Taehyung says. “It was only a few streets over. We’re starving. What’d you order?” 

Jimin glances at Namjoon. “Ah, um, not enough for all of us. Tae-”

“We can order more.” Taehyung says. He holds up his hand to flag down the waitress. 

Jimin says nothing as the waitress approaches and Taehyung lists an array of extra dishes. Namjoon says nothing. Jungkook adds an order of his own. Namjoon’s not entirely sure how this is all going to fit on their small table. 

As Taehyung and Jungkook begin to tell them about their paintings, the sounds of their voices turn into a buzzing in Namjoon's ears. His eyes are focused on Taehyung, but he looks at Jimin in his periphery. Jimin listens to Taehyung and says nothing. A sinking feeling begins to settle in Namjoon’s chest, replacing all the light he’d been feeling before with a kind of dull, deflated gray. 

“And look, Jungkookie got some paint on my pants.” Taehyung tries to swing his leg up sideways out of the booth and nearly kicks a waiter. “Oh-!”

Jimin and Jungkook laugh, and Namjoon feels himself laugh too, a little distantly. He knows earlier this week he'd felt grateful, but now he wonders- why didn’t Jimin tell them? Does he not want Taehyung and Jungkook to know they’re on a date? That he's on a date with Namjoon?

Well, he says to himself, it’s not like you said anything to anyone either. 

He hasn’t even told Hoseok. And to say it now when might be strange. 

Still, it sits uncomfortably in Namjoon’s gut all through dinner. 

The food comes and he goes through the motions of eating, and it really does taste very good, but now he regrets ording so much because he doesn’t think he’s quite hungry enough to eat it all. Luckily Jungkook’s stomach has no limit and he easily helps finish it off. 

When it’s time to pay, Namjoon assumes everything they’d said earlier about Jimin paying has gone out the window. This is certainly no date. He begins to pull his wallet out of his pocket. 

He feels a foot kick his under the table, so hard he almost yelps, and looks up to find Jimin shoving his card at the waitress. “This covers me and him.” He gestures to Namjoon. 

“What? Why are you paying for Namjoon-hyung? That’s not fair!” Taehyung says. “What about me and Jungkookie?”

“You crashed our night, why would I pay for you?” Jimin says. He doesn’t look at Namjoon. “And you ordered like five extra things!”

Our night. As Namjoon watches the waitress take the card, a little feeling returns. Does that mean it was still a date? Does this count with Taehyung and Jungkook here? He’s not entirely sure he wants it to count. 

They leave the restaurant with Taehyung and Jungkook leading the way. Jimin settles next to Namjoon as they walk down the street, not sure where they’re going, and Namjoon wonders if their date was meant to end here or if Jimin had more planned. Either way, Jimin’s not saying anything, and Namjoon isn’t saying anything, and the feeling in his chest begins to feel ugly again, like storm clouds when he’d expected to have sunlight.  

“Wow, Jiminie,” Taehyung says, taking in Jimin’s entire form now that they’re not sitting down. “You look good tonight!”

Jimin’s face goes a little pink, but he says, “I always look good.” 

Namjoon looks away as Taehyung agrees easily. Perhaps it’s silly, but it doesn’t feel very good admiring how good Jimin looks anymore, now that he’s not the only one. It’s a strangely familiar feeling, and it reminds him of all the time Jimin had spent dating other people. 

It feels sour. Namjoon should have known this was too good to be true. 

“Boba?” Jungkook says, clapping his hands together.

So he and Jimin get boba with Jungkook and Taehyung. Namjoon doesn’t really want it, but whatever. He startles a little when Taehyung grabs his arm after he puts his order in. “This time I get to pay for Namjoonie-hyung!” he says.

Jungkook snickers as Jimin’s lips part slightly. Taehyung turns around victoriously and hands the cashier some cash.

Jimin is quiet once they leave, drinks in hand, and automatically starts heading in the direction of the train. By the time they get there, Namjoon’s cup is empty and Jimin’s is still mostly full. 

Namjoon supposes the date is over, then. It probably had been for a while. 

They all pile onto the train because they all live in the same direction, and Namjoon feels a little sick at the thought that Jimin will get off before him with Taehyung and Jungkook, because they all live closer to each other than they do to him. 

The stop comes, and Namjoon thinks he’s quite ready to be alone. He’s more than ready to go home and wallow over all the dumb hopes he got up, for all the stupid overthinking he did all week that amounted to nothing. He should have known.

But when the doors open, Jimin doesn’t follow Jungkook and Taehyung out. 

“Jiminie?” Taehyung says, outside on the platform. 

“I’m going back with Namjoon-hyung,” Jimin says. “I’ll see you guys later!” 

Taehyung shrugs, thinking nothing of it, and Jungkook gives a wave as the doors close. 

Then it’s just the two of them sitting on a nearly empty train. Jimin immediately turns to face him. “Hyung, I’m really sorry.” 

Namjoon doesn’t know what else to say. “It’s alright.” 

Jimin’s eyebrows crinkle a little sadly. “No it’s not. It’s not at all. Tonight was supposed to be- and I just let them join- ” He twists the hem of his jacket in his hands. 

“Jimin-ah,” Namjoon starts. He’s really not sure what to say. It certainly isn’t okay, clearly, but. 

“Hyung,” Jimin looks up and meets his eyes again. He looks miserable. “Can we try it again? I’ll make sure it goes right this time. Just us, I promise.” Jimin stops, and takes a breath. “Can I have one more chance?” 

There’s a weirdly desperate edge of Jimin’s voice. Can I have one more chance?

Namjoon has to admit it assuages something inside of him. It helps to know that their date hadn’t ended in disaster only for Jimin to decide well, guess we tried that, see you Monday at the cafe. 

Of course, it’s not really even a question, is it? Jimin’s his best friend. He’s never had a limit on chances. 

Namjoon nods. “Of course, Jimin-ah.” 

Jimin’s entire body relaxes. He sits back against his seat and the back of his head hits the window. Lights streak by outside. “Thank you.”

The train slows, and they both get off at Namjoon’s stop. Jimin’s meant to catch the train on the other side of the platform to take him back home, but he stops again. He looks at Namjoon. “Are you- is tomorrow too soon?” His face pinks a little. “I mean, sorry, you’re probably busy.” 

Namjoon had planned to hang out with Yoongi and Seokjin tomorrow, but he’s sure they won’t miss him. Besides, the thought of another week of agonizing over this before they can go on a date again is more than he can bear. 

He nods. “Tomorrow works.” 

Jimin looks relieved again, but then he looks up at him, eyes a little imploring. “I had more planned. Just so you know. I really had thought about it a lot. I know that was probably a really bad first impression.”

Namjoon can’t help the surprise laugh that comes out of his mouth. “First impression? We’ve known each other since we were in high school.” 

Jimin’s cheeks go red again, but there’s a seriousness to his eyes. “Yeah, but this is different.” 

That quiets Namjoon. Slowly, he feels some of the night’s former glow return to him. Jimin is taking this seriously. Jimin isn’t just treating you like an experiment. 

Of course he isn’t. Namjoon never should have thought he would in the first place. 

This is Jimin. His best friend. Namjoon knows his heart. Namjoon thinks he might want his heart. Jimin might want his. The thought is terrifying, honestly. And clearly, the path to get there is proving itself a little bumpy. Jimin’s just as blind in this as he is. 

They’ve been to a lot of places together, but this is entirely new. And it’s worth more than just giving up on the first try. 

“Yeah,” Namjoon says. He reaches out and touches the back of Jimin’s hand, just briefly, and Jimin stills. He looks up at him, eyes wide and nervous and full of what Namjoon thinks might be hope. “It’s different.” 

-

So they try again. 

They go out earlier this time, for lunch, and the sky is bright and blue overhead, shaded by the gentle yellows and oranges of a budding autumn. There’s a lightness, Namjoon thinks, that there hadn’t been yesterday. Or maybe it really is just the weather.

“Okay,” Jimin says. They’re in a completely different part of the city, in a cafe with big windows and green, leafy plants. It’s airy and light and full of soft wooden tables and chairs, and Namjoon loved it from the moment they walked inside. “I’m certain no one will find us here, and if they do, I’m kicking them out immediately.” 

Namjoon laughs. “Okay.” 

“And I’m paying again,” Jimin says. He spreads his hands out on the table, like he’s getting all the conditions out of the way. “For the whole day. So get whatever you want.” 

“Jimin-”

“No arguing!” 

Namjoon laughs again. Jimin smiles, bright, his crooked tooth on display. Namjoon’s stomach swoops, the brightness in Jimin’s eyes reigniting the tentative feelings that had been dampened by the previous night. Buds emerging to pale sunlight that Namjoon thinks truly have the potential to bloom. It’s slightly terrifying, but mostly, right now, as the weight of Jimin’s ankle settles against his beneath the table, it makes him feel a little giddy. 

So he orders what he wants, he lets his leg lean against Jimin’s, and as they split an appetizer he thinks Jimin looks handsome- looks cute, God, Jimin’s so cute- in the cream pullover and jean jacket he’s got on over it. His hair isn’t as styled as the night before, more relaxed and soft and falling over his eyes enough when he laughs that he keeps having to push it back. 

They talk about how each of their weeks went, because they really hadn’t spoken much all week, and it’s nice, it’s normal, but Jimin’s leg is heavy against his, and he keeps looking at Namjoon in a way that’s different from before. Every time Namjoon talks a little too much, Jimin curls his fist against his lip to hide his smile, his eyes full of stars, full of fondness, like he’s drinking Namjoon in. 

And-

And no one has ever looked at him like this. It makes Namjoon flustered, which only makes him talk more, and then his throat gets dry so he downs his water, which he ends up drinking so fast he chokes on it. 

“Hyung,” Jimin says, giggling.

Namjoon puts his glass down, wiping the corner of his mouth, feeling his neck going hot. This, too, is new to feel in front of Jimin. Like he actually cares about how much of a fool he makes of himself in front of him. “Ah, Jimin-ah,” he says, ducking his head and swiping his hand over his face.

“No, no,” Jimin says, laughing, reaching across the table and pulling Namjoon’s hand back down. His hand is smaller than Namjoon’s, and it’s soft and warm, cool rings bumping Namjoon’s fingers. It’s a touch Namjoon has felt before- but now it’s different. 

He doesn’t let go right away. Namjoon looks up. 

Jimin’s staring down at their hands, cheeks a little pink. When he feels Namjoon’s gaze, he looks up and abruptly lets go. 

“You don’t-” Namjoon starts to say. He clears his throat. “I mean. You can.” 

It’s different than it was last night. Last night’s Jimin was bolder, flirtier, all dark clothes and tight pants. Today’s Jimin is softer, pink-faced and sweet. Namjoon thinks he likes both Jimins very much. He thinks he likes all Jimins. 

Jimin slips his hand back into Namjoon’s. 

A tiny thrill shoots up his arm at the touch, and it’s a little overwhelming to realize that for all the years he’s known Jimin, there are still more sides of him to discover. A whole universe of Jimin to discover. One that had always been lurking, far in the back of Namjoon’s mind, that he had never truly let himself consider.

Namjoon cannot deny that he’s always found Jimin attractive. Who hasn't? It's impossible not to. But he’s been attracted to a lot of people he’s never developed feelings for. Jimin didn’t have to be any different. It just took a little more care, a little more deliberate inattention, to never let himself cross that boundary.

He never, in a million years, expected Jimin to be the one to cross it for them. 

Namjoon has so many questions. Since when? Recently? A long time ago? How? Why? Why me? 

Jimin picks up his chopsticks, not meeting Namjoon’s eyes as he takes another bite of his food. His eyelashes splay over his cheeks as he looks down, and hand is warm around Namjoon’s.

Oh. Oh no. The doors have been opened, releasing a pent-up flood. Namjoon thinks he might really like him. 

“Jimin,” he says, emotion welling in his chest, good and bad at the same time. There’s so much they should talk about. There's so much that Namjoon needs to talk about. “Can we- I think we should- discuss. This.” 

Jimin looks up, eyes a little owlish. He opens his mouth, then closes it. “I know,” he finally says. His eyes dart around the restaurant. “I just- look, I have a plan, okay?” 

“A plan?” 

“Yes,” Jimin says. He looks suddenly stressed. “I wasn’t- we’re not supposed to talk about this till later.” 

“Oh,” Namjoon says. He’s unsure if that’s good or bad. The tone of his voice must convey something Jimin interprets as bad, however. His hand twitches around Namjoon’s. 

“Hyung,” he says. “I promise I have a plan, I do. I worked really hard on it, and then I had to redo the whole thing last night after Taehyungie and Jungkook- ” He cuts himself off, face going red. 

Namjoon raises his eyebrows. “What?” 

Jimin presses his forehead into his palm. Deep red is creeping up his neck. “Ah, hyung, it’s gonna get all messed up again.” 

Namjoon considers arguing that it won’t, that it’s just me, Jimin-ah, don’t worry, but he stops himself. This is Jimin’s date, and Jimin has a plan. He knows Jimin, and he knows when Jimin has his mind- or heart- set on a particular way of things, he’ll do it. And Jimin knows him. 

It’s Jimin. He trusts Jimin.

“Sorry,” he says instead. He squeezes Jimin’s hand. “Let’s continue where we were. We’ll talk about this later.” 

Jimin still looks stressed, eyebrows furrowed. “Are you sure?” 

Namjoon feels a rush of fondness for him. “Yes.” He squeezes Jimin’s hand again. “You have a plan. I won’t mess it up.” 

Jimin’s eyes flicker away again, going shy. “Thank you.” 

Namjoon distantly wonders what the people Jimin dated in the past must have told him to make him feel like he has a limited set of chances for this.

They go back to their food and their conversation becomes comfortable again. As Namjoon listens to Jimin talk about a TV show he’s been watching lately, something mindless and funny that makes Jimin cover his mouth when he laughs, Namjoon wonders how anyone would ever choose to put a limit on chances with him. 

-

They finish their meals and Jimin pays, and their hands separate as they leave. They step outside onto the sidewalk and the air feels fresh against Namjoon’s face, sweet and cool and laced with sunlight. Jimin tugs a beanie on over his hair. 

“Okay, hyung,” Jimin says, and when Namjoon looks around at him, he’s midway to grabbing for Namjoon’s hand again. He falters when Namjoon catches his eye. 

“Hm?” Namjoon says, automatically reaching for Jimin’s retracting hand before he can pull it all the way back. 

Jimin’s lips upturn as their palms settle together. Namjoon feels surprised at himself for doing that so easily. 

“Um,” Jimin says. He looks around the sidewalk, as if searching for a sign that will tell him which way to go even though they both know the city so well. “Okay, yes. This way.” He starts to lead Namjoon down the sidewalk. 

“Where are we going?” Namjoon asks. 

Jimin glances at him over his shoulder. “You’ll see, hyung. Part two of my plan.” 

“Okay,” Namjoon says. He pauses as he falls into step beside Jimin. He nudges his shoulder against his. Jimin’s is so much more slender than his own. “I really liked part one, you know.” 

“Ah, hyung,” Jimin says, but he looks pleased. 

“Really,” Namjoon says, humming. “It was a really nice restaurant, really my taste.” He pauses. “You know, the food and the interior.” He thinks of all the calming wood and the leafy plants. He thinks the tables were made of cedar, or perhaps ash?  

“I thought so,” Jimin says. There’s a smug twist to his lips. “As soon as I saw the pictures online, I thought of you. And the reviews for the food were good, so.” 

“You’ve never been there?”

“Mm, no,” Jimin says. He tugs on his beanie a little with his free hand. “I didn’t want a repeat of last night. I wanted to find a place that could be more special.” 

“Last night wasn’t so bad,” Namjoon says.

Jimin gives him a look. 

“Okay, maybe it was bad,” says Namjoon, but he grins to lighten it. “It’s not your fault Taehyung and Jungkook showed up.” 

Jimin chews on his lip. He says, after a pause, “Yeah, but I didn’t tell them to go away, either.” 

Namjoon doesn’t really know what to say to that, but Jimin tugs at his beanie again and keeps talking. “I felt really terrible about it all night. I know I should have said something, hyung. I just got-” He breaks off.

“Nervous?” Namjoon suggests after a few seconds when Jimin doesn’t say anything. 

Jimin nods, a little haltingly. “But that’s not an excuse. I should have told them to go.”

Namjoon considers. “Sure it is. It’s an explanation.” 

“Maybe,” Jimin says, but he still sounds a little unhappy. “I wasn’t embarrassed or anything! I just didn’t want it to be…outside of, you know-” He hesitates. “Us.” He doesn’t meet Namjoon’s eyes. “Not yet.”

Not until they see where this goes. If it goes anywhere. Namjoon feels an echo of nerves at the thought. He squeezes Jimin’s hand. “I think that makes sense, Jimin-ah,” he says. He adds, “I think that’s why I didn’t say anything either."

Jimin looks up at Namjoon. His cheeks are a little pink, but it could be the cool breeze. “You’re too nice,” he says. His nose is also pink. It’s cute. “No one else would have given me a second chance.” 

Namjoon frowns. “They would if they’re smart.” They stop at a crosswalk. 

Jimin looks at him, blinking. And then he suddenly smiles, wide enough to show his crooked front tooth. It’s insanely cute. “Well, I guess you are a genius,” he says, suddenly a little impish. He adds, after a beat, “I got lucky.”

“No,” Namjoon says quickly, feeling his heart skipping. “You’re a catch. Anyone who’d reject you over a dumb accident is an idiot.” 

Jimin’s cheeks very much do go pink this time, and it’s not the wind. His eyes are so wide and sweet in their surprise, and Namjoon’s mind goes a little staticky, and he has the very sudden urge to kiss him. 

It startles him, the way his own mouth suddenly yearns for it, is drawn to the sweet plumpness of Jimin’s lips in a way he’s never let himself acknowledge. His heart pounds, knowing he probably could kiss Jimin, right now, if he wants to. 

He also has a feeling that might not be according to Jimin’s plan at this point, but he doesn’t think Jimin would push him away. 

In any case, he spends too much time thinking. The light turns, jolting them both, and then Jimin’s pulling him across the street, hand tight around his. “We’re just going across the street,” he says, leading Namjoon somewhere he doesn’t know yet, cheeks still sweetly red. 

-

Bikes. Namjoon grins. 

“No!” Jimin says as Namjoon begins to take his paycard out of his pocket. He pushes Namjoon’s hand away and swipes his own on the card reader instead. “I’m paying, hyung.” 

“It costs barely anything, Jimin-ah.” 

“Right! So don’t complain!” 

Namjoon can’t help the grin tugging at his lips as he mounts the bike and Jimin takes his own from the rack. 

“The next place we’re going is a few miles away,” says Jimin, adjusting his beanie before putting his hands on the handlebars. “I thought we’d bike there rather than take the train.”

Namjoon nods. “I like that idea.” It’s a beautiful day for it; the sun is at its highest point in the sky and bright red trees are a stark contrast against the blue. As they begin to bike, wheels turning over leaf-strewn sidewalk, the wind feels fresh and sweet against Namjoon’s face. 

He and Jimin often go biking together. This is nothing new. They’d spent many midnights during university wheeling around the bike paths of Seoul together, just the two of them and the dark sky and the city around them, never quite asleep. 

So this is nothing new. And yet, as Jimin catches up to him, soaring beside him, the hand that Namjoon had just been holding now gripping his handlebars, it feels different. Not new, really, but nice. More than just nice. Namjoon lets his smile stretch across his face. A bright exhilaration expands inside of him. 

It felt right, somehow, that Jimin chose to do something they always did. And it felt a little like relief to realize there’s an entirely new way to experience it. Is this how everything will be? It feels as if he’s seeing the same world around him but with a new pair of glasses with a type of lenses he’d never worn. Ones that make him see more starkly, more brightly.

“Hyung!” Jimin says, letting go of his handlebars as he speeds ahead of Namjoon down the path. He glances back, grin roguish, and Namjoon shouts at him to look where he’s going.

Jimin turns around, speeding under tree branches, his laughter floating back to Namjoon in the breeze. 

-

“I think you’ll like this, hyung,” Jimin says as they walk down the sidewalk, bikes returned to a rack down the street. They’re on the outskirts of the city, a quieter area. 

Namjoon hums. He’s sure he will, whatever it is. Jimin seems a little intense about their activities today, and Namjoon wants to tell him that it doesn’t really matter what they do, that anything with him is fun, but that feels a little corny, and he also doesn’t want to make Jimin doubt any of this plan he’s worked so hard on. 

When Namjoon sees the street sign on the corner, the place they’re going becomes clear immediately. “Ah, Jimin-ah,” he says, and Jimin grins. 

“I thought, you know, the weather’s nice and everything,” Jimin says, scratching behind his ear. “I know you like getting pictures, and- yeah.” They walk up to the entrance of a botanical garden Namjoon’s never heard of, but beyond the gates autumn is in full bloom.

They go inside. Jimin pays again. At this point, even though it still feels weird, Namjoon knows better than to argue. 

Namjoon has never been to this particular botanical garden, and he’s never been to any botanical garden in the fall. It’s quiet, not as busy as the springtime. Couples wander along the gravel paths dusted with leaves, little children run ahead of their parents, giggling, and babies sleep soundly in carriages. The gravel crunches beneath their feet, and it’s peaceful. 

Namjoon takes his phone out to take a picture of a tree with branches boasting particularly bright leaves. Then he turns it on Jimin. 

Jimin reflexively smiles, but it’s genuine. His eyes scrunch into little crescents, dark hair contrasting against the vivid plants, and Namjoon’s heart involuntarily squeezes as he takes the photo. 

Jimin reaches out and takes his phone from them, their fingers warm where they meet, and makes Namjoon pose for a few photos of his own. Jimin laughs when Namjoon tries to look into a hole in a tree and nearly gets stuck, the sound of his laughter bubbling through the air. Namjoon frees himself, embarrassed, but is redeemed when Jimin laughs so hard he loses balance and stumbles into a bird bath. 

“I thought I was the clumsy one, Jiminie,” Namjoon says, snickering as he reaches out to steady him again. Jimin’s hand is soaked, and without thinking Namjoon takes it and wipes it off on the front of his own hoodie. 

Jimin watches, neck tinged pink. A wave of sheepishness washes over Namjoon when he realizes what he’s doing, but when he goes to release Jimin’s hand, Jimin’s quick to regrip it. 

“I’m not clumsy. I just can’t see when I laugh,” Jimin argues, not looking at Namjoon as he turns to pull him back onto the path. 

“Good thing my jokes aren’t that good, then,” Namjoon says. Jimin fingers are chilly from the water and cool air. He grips it to warm it up a little more. 

Jimin shakes his head, but he’s smiling. He catches Namjoon’s eyes. “You’re right, they are bad.” 

They take their time exploring the entire garden, admiring the trees, the colors, the intricately shaped shrubbery, the vines that creep prettily along walls. Namjoon takes too many pictures, but he’ll sort through them for Instagram later. He has a lot of pictures of Jimin, and he wonders if should post them or not. But would anyone even think anything of it? They’d never gone anywhere like this, just the two of them, before, but it’s certainly not out of the realm of possibility. 

The sun begins to fall in the sky, shadows growing long as they reach the pond. The water is calm and ducks drift aimlessly. Jimin’s hand is warm now. This is so nice. Namjoon’s never had a date so tailor-made for him. 

“Jimin-ah,” he says, because Jimin deserves to hear it, judging from how distressed he’d appeared earlier about his plan going well. “This is perfect. This whole day. You planned really well.” 

Jimin looks up at him, eyes nearly glittering like the surface of the pond. “Oh,” he says. “Good.” He regrips Namjoon’s hand. 

It’s crazy to think that they’ve been friends for so many years and have never had such prolonged skin contact. But why would they? Namjoon’s not sure he’s ever spent so much time holding anyone’s hand on a date. 

“So,” Jimin starts. His eyes meet Namjoon’s. “Would you want to do it again?”

Would he? It’s not a very hard question to answer. Sudden nerves skitter through him regardless, but not in a bad way. He nods, heart beating. “Yeah, I would.”  

Jimin nods too. He looks down at the ground and swallows, kicking at a pinecone, and Namjoon can see the way his neck contracts, the movement tantalizing in a way Namjoon has never explicitly considered before. There’s a smile tugging at his lips. “Alright,” he says. “Good. I like this a lot.” 

Namjoon nods, heart beating. So it works. They both like this. They’re moving forward with it. Okay. 

“Me too,” Namjoon says. His hand feels a little clammy in Jimin’s, but Jimin doesn’t seem to care. “It’s-” he says, searching for something lighthearted to add. “It’s kind of like we always are. Hanging out, right? Except you’re paying for everything.” 

Jimin’s hand stills in his. Then he looks up, and his entire face falls. 

Namjoon freezes. Wait. It’s a joke. He means it as a joke- 

“I- wait,” Namjoon says. “Wait- that’s not what I meant.” 

Jimin blinks, schooling his face into something more neutral, and Namjoon’s chest goes tight. Oh- oh fuck. Why is he like this? 

“That was a joke,” Namjoon says, scrambling. “Jimin-ah, I didn’t mean that. I love this date. This is the best date I’ve ever been on.” 

Jimin blinks, and then squeezes Namjoon’s hand, giving a smile, but Namjoon can always tell when it’s forced. “Ah, it’s okay, hyung.” 

“No, it’s not,” says Namjoon. “I shouldn’t have said that. I’m sorry. I just got nervous.” He looks around. “I’ll take you out on our next date. I’ll pay for everything. I promise, I didn’t mean it that way.” 

When he looks back at Jimin, his smile is a little more genuine. His shoulders soften. “Ah, hyung,” he says. “Can we sit?” 

Namjoon doesn’t realize how tired his legs were from so much walking and all the biking earlier until he’s planted on the grass. Their hands separate, and Jimin rubs his palms on his knees. 

“Really, Jiminie,” Namjoon says, unable to take the silence for more than fifteen seconds. “I’m having a great time. I didn’t mean-”

Jimin cuts him off with a laugh, and immediately Namjoon’s chest loosens at the sound. He turns his eyes back on Namjoon, and they’re bright. “I get it, hyung,” he says. “It’s okay. Maybe we’re even now.” 

“Even?” 

“I let Taehyung and Junkookie crash our first date,” Jimin says. He pauses thoughtfully. “And earlier you did say your jokes aren’t good.” 

Namjoon groans. 

Jimin laughs again, then goes quiet. He reaches out, and Namjoon thinks he’s going to take his hand again, but instead his hand goes for Namjoon’s face. He touches Namjoon’s cheek, and Namjoon goes still. Jimin’s fingers are soft. His eyes are soft, too. “I knew that, though, right?” 

Namjoon looks back at him. His heart is beating fast against his ribcage.  “I think some of my jokes are okay.” 

Jimin laughs again. He drops his hand and the loss of the warmth replaced quickly with cool air against Namjoon’s skin, and Jimin runs his hands over his own face, letting his giggles die out. He looks back up, letting his hands fall into his lap, and says, a little tiredly, “I really like you, hyung.” 

Namjoon- he knew that. Kind of. Jimin did ask him on this date, and he wouldn’t have done that if he didn’t like Namjoon. But to hear it explicitly said by Jimin-

“I wanted to make this date perfect because I wanted to prove that- that this could be good?” Jimin huffs a small laugh. “But we’ve been friends for so long that I wasn’t entirely sure you’d be into it.” He pauses. “Usually- well, with other guys it’s not that hard to tell. But I could never tell with you.” Jimin pushes some hair from his forehead, tucking it into his beanie, and Namjoon sees the way his hand trembles just slightly. 

“I know I’ve dated around,” Jimin says. “I just like people, I guess? But I’ve always- I’ve always kind of- agh.” He buries his face in his hands. Namjoon can see his forehead going pink. “This is so embarrassing,” he mutters into his fingers. 

“No it’s not,” Namjoon says. He goes to reach out to pull Jimin’s hands from his face, but Jimin lowers them first, face flushed. His eyes zero in on Namjoon’s hand, and Namjoon feels his own flush of embarrassment. Before he can think too fast, he grabs Jimin’s limp hand in his lap. “You’ve always…?” 

“I’ve always kind of had a crush on you,” he sighs, like it’s his death sentence. His face is flaming. “Like, since we were young. You were just so cool. And then- and then you got so-” He covers his eyes with his free hand. “Hot!” 

A jolt of surprise zips through Namjoon, not entirely unpleasant.

“Your stupid muscles,” Jimin mutters, hand still over his eyes. “I resent the day you started going to the gym when we were in school.” 

“Oh- sorry,” Namjoon says. 

Jimin uncovers his eyes again, looking at him. “See- you’re just- you’re so-” He seems at a loss for words, and Namjoon doesn't know what Jimin thinks he is but his heart is still pounding. Jimin continues. “No one I’ve ever dated has been as good as you, and in the last few months it started to get really bad, these- these feelings. I realized that no matter who I dated, you’d always be there in the back of my mind. Or the front, really,” Jimin sighs. “So I figured- why not just try?” He laughs, but it sounds a little self deprecating. He looks up again. “Took me a few weeks to work up the nerve.”

Namjoon’s brain is still processing all of this information. Jimin, his best friend, crushing on him? For years? Jimin thinks he’s hot? 

“So- so yeah,” Jimin finishes, a little anticlimactically. “I don’t know if this is that romantic. I didn’t even know if you’d want to do this. I’m grateful you’ve given me a chance.” Namjoon can feel how clammy Jimin’s hand is in his.  “I just wanted to make it good.” 

It was good. It was so good. And very, very romantic. Namjoon tries to find the words to say. 

“Um,” Jimin says after about five seconds during which Namjoon tries to untangle the thoughts in his brain. His face is tinged red. “Are you going to say anything? Because if you don’t I might throw up.” 

“Wha- no, no don’t do that,” Namjoon says quickly. He moves closer to him. There’s no time to unscramble his words. He just has to do it, like Jimin did. “Jimin-ah, I- you didn’t have to impress me.” 

Jimin regards him warily, like he doesn’t quite believe it. Namjoon shakes his head. “Really, I’d have said yes no matter what. It’s-” He shrugs, a little helpless, trying to cast around for the right words, but for all his proficiency with them, they seem to be eluding him right now. His heart beats hard in his chest. “It’s you.” 

“Me,” Jimin repeats, and Namjoon realizes that that doesn’t seem like enough to him. 

It’s not a happy realization, and again, Namjoon thinks about all the boyfriends who made Jimin feel like he wasn’t enough. The ones Jimin would tell him about while Namjoon let his words go in one ear and out the other, he reflects guiltily.  The ones who made Jimin feel like he had to be perfect in order for Namjoon to give him a chance. The ones who make Namjoon wish he’d tried harder, before, to make Jimin feel more loved, even as a friend.  

He can do that now.

“You,” Namjoon says. He turns his body to face Jimin. He wishes he was as good with touch as Jimin is. He wants to touch him. He wants to touch his face and his lips and his hair. The sun is beginning to set behind Namjoon, casting a waning orange light on Jimin’s face, his eyes. 

He’s beautiful. Namjoon doesn’t want him to look so afraid. 

He reaches forward and takes Jimin's other hand, grasps it in his own. Jimin relaxes a fraction. 

“I…I like you, too,” Namjoon says, chest pounding. 

He doesn’t know what he expects, but it’s not for Jimin to slump forward right into his lap. Namjoon stares down at him in mild shock. Jimin takes a deep breath, face pressed into Namjoon’s shin. 

“Oh,” Jimin says, and there’s pure relief in his voice. He’s still holding Namjoon’s hands. 

Namjoon can’t help the laugh that bubbles out of his throat. This is crazy. Why were they both so afraid? Jimin’s his favorite person in the world. 

“I don’t know if I…If I always…” he trails off. “You just always seemed so out of my league, so I never really let myself entertain the idea.” 

Quick as a flash, Jimin sits up again. His hair falls in front of his eyes, messy, as he looks at Namjoon in shock. “Out of your league? Your league?” 

“Yes?” Namjoon says. “I’m not talking about anyone else’s league here.” 

“Again with the bad jokes,” Jimin says, but he squeezes his hand. He scoffs. His face is red. “You, the hottest guy I’ve ever seen. If I’m not in your league, it’s because it’s miles above mine.” 

Namjoon feels his face going warm, mind short circuiting a little. This conversation is so silly. 

“Fine,” he says, momentarily putting the fact that Jimin said he was the hottest guy he’s ever seen out of his head. He’ll revisit that later. If they’re going to be something- in a relationship, dating, boyfriends?- he’s got to learn to compromise. He squeezes Jimin’s hand. “I’m just telling you how I felt, though.” 

Jimin quiets. Namjoon is struck with the urge to kiss him.

He takes a deep breath. No kisses yet. If he doesn’t talk the rest out, he’ll go insane. “But I’m glad you asked me out. You’re brave. Braver than me.” 

“It’s not a competition,” Jimin says, glancing up at him. 

Namjoon smiles. “But you see- I like you a lot, Jimin. I realize that, now that I feel like I’ve gotten…I don’t know, permission. But it’s still kind of new. I’m still making sense of it. So- so i’m sorry if make stupid jokes like the one from before,” he says. He sighs. “I don’t mean it. Please stick with me.” 

“Of course,” Jimin says. He grips Namjoon’s hands with both of his. He takes a deep breath.  “We can move as slow as you want, hyung. Hyung-” he says, and his exhale is shaky. “I’ve waited so long for something real.” 

Namjoon can do that. Namjoon can give him real. 

Namjoon leans in and presses his forehead to Jimin’s. The breeze is so cool, growing colder as the sun falls lower in the sky. Jimin’s skin is bathed in sunset light. Namjoon closes his eyes. “Okay,” he says, quiet into the space between them. “Let’s do it.” 

Jimin exhales again, and Namjoon can physically feel the tension drain out of him. They sit like that for a moment. Then Jimin’s nose nudges against his. Asking. 

Namjoon nudges back, quiet. 

His answer is the softest brush of lips against Jimin’s. Warm, so warm, and Namjoon feels it expand through his entire body like a heat wave, overwhelming and all-encompassing, turning his brain fuzzy and spreading fire to the tips of his toes. 

He kisses Jimin again, and maybe Jimin can feel the same heat he does, because he melts right into Namjoon. He detangles his hands from Namjoon’s so he can bring them to the sides of his neck. Namjoon feels goosebumps break out beneath his touch. Jimin kisses him back. 

Jimin. He’s kissing Jimin. Those perfect, pretty lips he’s always admired. Always so wanted to kiss even though he never let himself admit it, for years and years and years. Plump and sweet and soft. Namjoon kisses him again, a little harder, and Jimin gasps into it. 

Namjoon lifts his hands to Jimin’s face, cupping the sides of his jaw. Jimin opens his mouth, pulling Namjoon closer, mouth warm, breath hot and god, god, Namjoon understands why he never let himself consider this, because it’s too addicting, too tantalizing. It burns him to his core. He thinks if this was taken away now, he’d die. 

Jimin. Jimin. It was always Jimin. 

They come up for air a moment, stopping before it gets to be too much. Before Namjoon can’t breathe. Jimin’s face is flushed, lips red and swollen. He looks at Namjoon in mild shock.

“I thought you wanted to take it slow,” he says, slightly out of breath.

“Sorry,” Namjoon says. His skin feels like it’s on fire. Heart pounding like he’s just run a race. His lips are a little numb. “I think maybe I always wanted you more than I realized.” 

A moment later he feels, rather than sees, the grin on Jimin’s lips, and he falls right into it. 

-

“So,” Jimin says, when they get to Namjoon’s apartment building four hours later, lingering outside before Namjoon goes in. They had decided to get dinner after they had finished with the botanical garden, and subsequently lingered over drinks for one- two- three extra hours. “Interested in a second date?” 

He quirks his lips. Namjoon can’t believe he’s gone from never having kissed them once, to kissing them so many times in one afternoon that he’s lost count. 

“Hm,” Namjoon says. “Maybe if you let me take you out next time.” 

Jimin’s eyes shine brightly in the glow of the streetlights. He looks so handsome. He’s always looked so handsome, and now he’s all Namjoon’s to look at. “Okay,” he says. His expression turns cheeky again. “Today definitely took a hit to my bank account.” 

Namjoon pretends to shove him, settling for poking him in the side instead where he knows Jimin is most ticklish. Jimin skitters away, laughing. 

His laughing fades, and Jimin straightens up again, a smile lingering on his face as he steps up to Namjoon again. The sounds of passing cars woosh along the street, headlights passing and shifting the shadows along Jimin’s face. 

“So it was good?” Jimin asks, and Namjoon knows Jimin knows it was good. He also knows Jimin needs that last bit of validation before he goes home. 

Namjoon nods. He’s tired,  but happy. He’s so happy. “It was the best date I’ve ever been on, Jimin-ah.” 

Jimin smiles, looking incredibly pleased. Namjoon cups his cheek with one hand and leans in to kiss him. 

Jimin melts into him, settling his own hand on Namjoon’s chest. An area he quite likes, Namjoon has noticed. But he can explore that more later. 

They kiss again, and then break apart. 

Maybe another night, maybe after a few more dates, Namjoon will ask Jimin to come back to his apartment. But for all their heady kisses earlier, Namjoon still wants to take it slow. He wants to do it right, and he knows Jimin does, too. They’ve got time. 

Jimin smiles, and it’s all Namjoon can see.

When he finally goes to bed later, he falls asleep quickly, feeling like he’s on a cloud, mind perfectly at ease. 

-

“I still can’t believe you guys didn’t mention you were on a date,” Taehyung says, frowning at Jimin across the table. Sunlight streams through the cafe windows. 

Jimin sits in the chair beside Namjoon, Namjoon’s arm slung along the back of it. He sips on an iced tea, on his workbreak. “We didn’t want anyone to know yet.” 

“But you let me and Jungkookie completely crash it!” Taehyung says. “It was so rude of us!” He lays the entire upper half of his body against Hoseok, who sits across Namjoon as he always dows. Hoseok raises an eyebrow at Namjoon, but he looks mostly amused. 

Jimin giggles a little. He reaches across the table and pinches Taehyung’s cheek. “It’s okay, Taehyungie. It’s not your fault.” He glances at Namjoon with a smile. “Me and Namjoonie-hyung were just too shy to say anything.” 

They’ve been dating for a few weeks now and it’s been going pretty well. Really well. It’s still awkward at times, there are still bumps in the road as they transition from friends to more, but it’s been easier Namjoon thought it would be, to his relief. He doesn’t know why he was ever so caught up in his head in the first place. 

This is Jimin. His best friend. His boyfriend. The new title still sends a thrill down Namjoon’s spine. 

Taehyung continues to pout. Jimin pats his hair down like he’s a sad puppy. He sits back in his chair, glancing at Namjoon again. When he sees Namjoon already looking, his face blossoms into a sweet, happy smile.

Taehyung drones on in the background as Namjoon leans over and presses a quick kiss to Jimin’s forehead. This kind of thing feels a little weird to do in front of their friends, but he’s also had to put up with Taehyung and Hoseok for ages. 

“You two are really cute,” Hoseok says, looking between them brightly. Namjoon feels a slight injustice that his and Jimin’s PDA doesn’t bother him at all. 

Whatever. His lips are warm where they pressed against Jimin’s head. This is nice. This is all nice. He never has to see one of Jimin’s boyfriends walk into this cafe again, because he is the boyfriend. 

Jimin glances at his watch and frowns. “My break’s almost over.” 

Namjoon hums sadly. His laptop sits in front of him, with work inside ready to be done. He’d rather sit here longer with Jimin. 

Jimin finishes his iced tea, then stands up. He presses a kiss to Namjoon’s cheek. Then he flits to the other side of the table and presses another kiss to Taehyung’s cheek. “Stop pouting, you know hyung and I had an amazing first date the next day. I told you all the details.” 

“That’s true,” Taehyung says, and he looks happy to be reminded of that fact. Namjoon isn’t sure he wants to know what details Jimin told him, but Jimin catches his eye and winks. 

“You’ll be here when I get off my shift?” Jimin says, even though Namjoon always is.

Namjoon nods, reaching out and tugging on his sleeve to pull him down for one more kiss. Taehyung and Hoseok awwww, and Namjoon feels himself go a little warm, but Jimin smiles, looking happier than Namjoon has ever seen him. 

He goes back to the front counter as Namjoon opens his laptop. Jimin’s presence lingers in the background, a gentle bright spot in Namjoon’s mind at all times, and, contented, Namjoon goes back to work.