Chapter Text
Dazai walked aimlessly down the street, he didn't know what had happened that day, but he didn't feel well, maybe it was a crisis he was feeling that would be close to affecting him. He wanted to drink something alcoholic before he felt worse.
He could feel the cell phone vibrating in his pocket, it was probably Chuuya, but he didn't want to have to explain it to the boy now, he didn't want the redhead to be worried about him.
He couldn't even explain the reason for his sudden illness, there were times when he just got like that, sometimes even a wrong trait he made in his paintings that could be easily corrected made him cry for the rest of the day and feel trash.
Walking down the street with no specific direction he found a small open establishment, it was a well-decorated bar.
He walked in and sat on one of the benches taking his order from the bartender, as soon as his drink was delivered he decided he would go up to the second floor, he had seen that it had a balcony on the second floor when he entered. He wouldn't do anything on a bar balcony, but he'd like to drink with the night air on his face, maybe it would calm him down.
Taking a sip from his bottle he headed out, when he got closer to the doorframe he saw that there was also a man there, he was just leaning against the railing. Deciding not to think too much, he went to the man's side, leaned against it, and took a deep breath looking at the illuminated city, it was a high point of the city. The night was beautiful, he would like to go home and sleep, but he was afraid that when he got there he would just decide to jump out of the tenth-floor window, he couldn't believe he would be well enough to not even consider it.
He did want it to be over, but he didn't want to leave Chuuya or Odasaku behind.
"Hard day?" He heard the voice that had remained silent until the moment spoke, Dazai looked at him from the corner and realized that he was a man about his height, with long black hair, the man was pale and maybe even too thin. The man had a hat that Osamu thought was really ugly. However, Dazai found him really attractive, aside from the terrible hat of course.
"A little" he replied with disdain sighing again taking another sip from his bottle.
"I understand. When I have a hard day I drink too, although I would like to stop drinking" He confessed leaning his elbow on the railing, his gaze turned to Osamu, who looked back at him, seeing his eyes he noticed, then his eyes were a dirty purple, it was beautiful.
"Why do you want to stop drinking? What will you do if you're sick and can't drink?" Dazai questioned, still with his attention on the man, and the man with a soft expression smiled gently.
"Well, I can ask God to comfort me." He straightened his body and snapped his fingers, still looking at the other one beside him with gentleness and reassurance.
Dazai certainly thought about saying something prejudiced because he hates the idea of having to deal with a believer, but he refrained from commenting and just smiled cynically and nodded.
They were silent for a while, their gazes turned to the city in front of them, and Dazai thought that that awkward exchange of words would have ended there, however that was until he heard the man in front of him clear his throat catching Dazai's attention who looked it again.
"Since we're here, and we're probably never going to see each other again, do you want to vent?" The dark-haired one asked now sitting on the ledge. Dazai felt a shiver when he saw him sitting there, maybe his mind had tricked him and made him imagine falling from there, yet he woke up quickly from his intrusive thoughts and shook his head at the man.
"Uh, well you don't have to listen if you don't want to, I'll probably go on and on until I look like a boring drunk," he muttered leaning his head on his arms crossed over the railing.
"It's okay, sometimes I can help you tonight" He insisted, Dazai looked at him a little fearfully and bit his lower lip pondering, but he came to the conclusion that they wouldn't really meet again most likely, it would be okay.
"What's your name first of all?"
"Fiodor Mikhailovitch Dostoyevsky, what's your name?"
"Are you Russian?" He looked at him curiously, it was the first time he had met a Russian in Japan, he really liked the culture and some writers there, and he would like to ask him to speak some shit in Russian when he was brave enough (he was totally alcoholic).
"Yea."
"My name is Dazai Osamu."
"It's a pleasure" He smiled again and Dazai wondered how many more times that man could smile so kindly without him yelling, no one could smile so much seeing a fucked up and finished man as he appeared.
"I say the same."
"So? Are you going to tell me what ails you?" He charged and Dazai straightened up looking him in the eye, and at that moment he could have sworn it would be a perfect scene from a movie. The way Fyodor's hair flew in the wind, his smile that even if it was gentle and also brimmed with smugness, the shape, and place where he had sat. He was an attractive man, Dazai wouldn't deny it, that night seemed to collaborate with him too.
Dazai internally laughed at his thoughts and sighing, nodded in agreement with Dostoevsky's questions and went on to tell Fyodor about the way he felt.
Dazai liked to watch the medium-haired man because he would like to know if he would have any expression other than that unique exchange where it was a smile on a neutral face. But anyway, he felt comfortable and seemed to be able to take a weight off his back with every sentence he uttered.
Fyodor listened attentively, and Dazai mentally thanked him that at no time did the boy show pity or concern on his face, he really hated when they felt sorry for him, he will feel worse if they did.
"Can't you feel human?" Now Fyodor was already beside Dazai outside the parapet this time, he was looking at him and now he seemed a little more interested, and maybe he could even say that he felt the slightest bit sorry for that miserable man's story.
Fyodor could read Dazai easily, and he already had an idea that Dazai really wouldn't want him to show some sort of painful feeling of his own pain, he had dealt with people like that, he was like that.
"Something like that I guess, anyway I can't go, I can't leave my best friend behind, I know he's going to feel like I abandoned him. I've left a lot of people, but I definitely don't want to leave him, even if I am afraid that my fear of being left will make me leave first."
"He seems very important to you" He smiled and Dazai nodded his head stretching, he had already had five more bottles of drink in the meantime, he was already altered in a way since Fyodor hadn't had much to drink, he only drank a couple of bottles in that whole period of time.
"He is" he muttered leaning over the railing again "What if I threw myself from here too? Then I wouldn't have to think about anything because I would just cease to exist" he mused, closing his eyes lazily.
"You'd probably just break an arm or a leg, it's not very tall."
"Then I should go home and throw myself out of there" The boy's voice was starting to get completely slurred, Fyodor found it funny and held himself not to laugh when Dazai hiccuped, he didn't seem very strong for drinks, that's what he drank four bottles of beer, for Fyodor it wasn't a big deal although he wasn't the strongest either.
"I won't be able to let you go home if your house is on a very high floor" He joked and Osamu squeezed his eyes tightly, he got up still wobbly and was about to point his finger at Fyodor when he tripped and fell on the man's chest touching him his hairs on his chin.
"I already tried to kill myself to not go to school once, if I count on it I would never go home" Dazai snuggled lightly on the Russian's chest, taking a deep breath and closing his eyes slightly, he was so drunk.
Dostoevsky braked, looked at Dazai a little desperately, and reflexively made Dazai jerk awake when he jerked him away. Osamu's eyes widened as he saw Fyodor's calm expression now look scared.
"Sorry I tripped," he said awkwardly and Fyodor backed away a little leaning back against the railing. He just nodded and was silent for what Dazai thought were long minutes. Osamu was embarrassed, he had been unintentionally, and even though he struggled to stay a little sober in his jumbled mind, he was trying to think if he had said something that for some reason had forgotten in less than a few seconds.
After all that silence Dazai realized that staying there would lead to nothing, so he decided to leave, but before he went through the door, Fyodor called out to him.
"Sorry for pushing you away like that, and I wanted to talk to you a little more, but I think you must be sleepy already, so if you want, call me or something" He walked to Dazai handing him a card, Osamu couldn't read at the time so just agreed and put it in his pocket.
"You told me you wouldn't see me again" He narrowed his eyes and Fyodor realized that was a gesture he seemed to do a lot when he was drunk, he had repeated it a lot while telling his life story
"You don't have to call if you don't want to" He chuckled and crossed his arms, Dazai nodded his head smiling, he didn't know if he was happy to have had that conversation with Fyodor or to be high from his drink already. Dazai was the kind of drunk who was happy when he drank, even if his self-deprecating jokes escalated.
"I'll call, but now I'm leaving" he Hiccuped, walking back out of there.
Fyodor considered helping him down the stairs but gave up on the idea a few seconds later, finally deciding that he would just accompany him and help him get a taxi.
He went down to the first floor finding Dazai who was already out the door, followed him, and started to walk beside him.
"Hey, do you live here too?" He asked innocently and Fyodor shook his head.
"No, but you can barely stand, I think it would be nice if I accompanied you to the taxi stand."
"You are a gentleman you know" He stumbled again and Fyodor got scared by reflex almost catching him, but Dazai didn't fall he just steadied himself again pretending that nothing had happened, Fyodor looked nervous as he realized his reflection almost betrayed him but forgot about it when Dazai passed making little noises with his mouth while laughing, "I think you are the last romantic" Muttered after walking again, Dostoevsky laughed.
"How could I be the last romantic if I've never dated or kissed," He said still smiling, Dazai looked at him in disbelief and crossed his arms.
"Uh, why not? You're really pretty, you must know that" He frowned clearly indignantly "Man how old are you? Don't tell me you're seventeen, if you are you shouldn't even be drinking" He pointed his finger at Fyodor and he looked a little embarrassed.
"No, I'm far from seventeen, I'm twenty-six actually" Laughed and Osamu widened his eyes in surprise, he raised his palm and stopped midway counting his fingers.
"You're this older than me" He raised five fingers and Fyodor laughed again, he kind of already knew that because at one point in the conversation the boy had said he was a college student, but he probably didn't even remember that.
"Looks like it." He put his hand in his pockets and realized they were reaching the taxi rank.
"But look, if you want someone to give you some kisses, to get you out of this you can call me because you're my type," He said once more tangled up in the words, Fyodor looked more embarrassed, but he just nodded his head smiling slightly. A silence was present until Dazai had a simple smile on his lips and looked the man in front of him in the eyes "If I wanted to meet you, where would you be?" Fyodor looked at him in surprise and looked thoughtful.
"I thought you wouldn't want to see me again, after all, you told me a lot of your thoughts, maybe I know you more than I would like" His suggestive gaze crossed Dazai, and a little chuckling he denied awkwardly.
"You are beautiful, I would like to see you again" Dostoevsky crossed his arms having an idea passing through his mind, and smiled and looked at Dazai.
"If you're not so hungover tomorrow that you can't get out of bed, meet me for tomorrow's service at Yamate Church at six."
"Church" He furrowed his brow and his soft laugh returned to his presence, he nodded and Fyodor looked at him satisfied.
Dazai couldn't believe he was actually going to church.
"Well, I think you should go, you can get out of here can't you?" He questioned and Dazai nodded, Fyodor waved his hand at Dazai and he just shouted goodbye as he ran to a taxi car that was there.
Dostoevsky watched from afar until Dazai finally got in the car and left, he wished the brown-haired boy would call him anyway or meet him tomorrow, he'd like to know more about him when he was sober maybe. He hadn't been interested in talking to anyone for some time.
(...)
"Finally decided to wake up idiot?" Dazai lazily opened his eyes and saw a red-haired figure with his arms crossed in front of him, and when he looked to the side he saw two more people there, he sighed and sat down "How do you disappear like that after saying you didn't take the antidepressants, stay bad all day and say he's going to kill himself on Twitter?" The redhead looked angry and worried at the same time, he looked at Dazai and he felt a little guilty, maybe Dazai had worried him a lot contrary to what he would like.
The boy took one of the pillows and when he was going to throw it at his friend, another figure that was there that had a pair of round glasses took it from his hand and placed it on Dazai's bed calmly. The red-haired figure took a deep breath trying to calm down.
"I'm sorry I went to drink, that's it" He muttered regretfully and threw himself on the bed hiding his face in his arm, he believed he would most likely have posted that on his Twitter while he was walking home drunk "I was going to call you Odasaku but I thought it was better to drink, I didn't want to talk too much" He looked at his friend and then looked away from the other one there "And Chuuya, I didn't want to worry you sorry" He looked at him and saw the redhead's face soften and look away.
"When Chuuya called me saying that you were gone I panicked" The one with the glasses rubbed his forehead a little nervously, he was trying to stay calm because all his agitation didn't go away.
"Sorry Ango."
"You should have called" Odasaku looked at him worriedly and sat on the edge of his bed, placed his hand on Dazai's shoulder massaging it lightly "I know you don't like to worry us but we care about you, and I'm your brother above all" He smiled slightly, Osamu looked at the man beside him and shrugged, hiding more between the sheets.
Chuuya sighed and climbed onto the bed pulling the brunette out of bed, he knew that if he didn't do it Dazai would probably stay there the rest of the day blaming himself, he didn't want his friend to feel bad, he just wanted him not to that again, maybe he was stressed, but he was afraid the boy would actually do something to his own life.
The redhead pulled Dazai into a tight hug that made the brownie murmur and snuggles, Chuuya laughed and remained there with him until he pulled away slightly.
"You don't want to stay in bed all Sunday, do you?" Chuuya asked and Dazai blinked slowly deciding to get up.
"I have an appointment."
"Oh really? Where are you going?" Odasaku stood up and watched his brother lazily get out of bed and head to the bathroom.
"The church" He spoke simplistically and the three looked at him with wide eyes, Chuuya didn't know whether to laugh or not.
"You, go to church?" Ango asked, sitting on the brownie's bed, who just gave a jewel with his hand before entering the bathroom. The three of them faced each other and exchanged whispers trying to figure out what had happened and what kind of drunk had turned him into the bar the night before.
"I bet it was an ex-gay who is now a pastor" The redhead chuckled and the others thought for a moment and nodded.
"But maybe it's from the Catholic church, sometimes it's just a guy who should have been almost dead on the counter that preached to him," Ango said reflecting, and the other two agreed once again going back to discussing who would have converted their friend.
"Can I hear the whole bathroom discussion, beauty?" Dazai left there already dressed "And he's no old man or drunk, I just vented to him and he invited me to go to the church he attends" He walked around the room looking for his shoes while drying his hair with the towel, Chuuya he looked curious and shifted his gaze to the crumpled bed of the same, seeing a paper there, stretched out his bed to pick it up and realized he had a phone number written down.
"Is his number here?" He asked looking at the numbers and then showing the paper to Dazai who was sitting on a chair putting on his shoes. The brownie turned his gaze to the redhead and nodded.
"Must be, he wrote it down and gave it to me as I remember it.
"Add his number to Dazai's cell, I want to see the face of the man who was able to drag my brother to church," Oda said taking Dazai's cell phone that was on the bed and unlocking it.
"Since when do you know my password?" Osamu asked in disbelief as he watched Odasaku type Fyodor's number into his cell phone.
"Since when you gave me your password last week after drinking too much and crying saying you wanted to watch videos of cute kittens" He shrugged and finished typing the number-What's his name.
"Fyodor."
"Is he a foreigner?" Ango asked appearing behind Odasaku so he could see it too.
"Probably" Chuuya replied laying his chin on the shoulder of Dazai's brother who now had his attention on Dazai who was looking at Ango with irritation.
"Don't climb on my Ango shoe sheets!" Dazai complained, standing up angrily.
“I'm not even stepping" he replied returning to pay attention to Oda who will return to the cell phone and now had just added the contact and was going to the chat application. The photo appeared and Odasaku expanded it showing the others beside him.
"Oh, it's not an old man, and he's handsome," Ango said taking his cell phone so he could see better.
"Isn't it? I thought so too, he's very handsome, and his accent is very sexy too" Dazai said approaching the others and putting the towel on his shoulders.
"It had to be a man" Chuuya narrowed his eyes, moving away from the others who were still looking at the photo "I was even surprised when you said you went to church when what I heard most from you was a teenager were complaints about when your parents dragged you there " Ango locked his cell phone screen and threw it on the bed going beside Chuuya while nodding his head.
"He seems to really believe in that God of his, and I accepted to go because when he doesn't talk about God his subjects are good" He smiled slightly and Odasaku put his hand on his shoulders "He heard me too."
"What?" Chuuya asked suddenly.
"Uh well, I told him about a few things, what ailed me, it was good" He muttered thoughtfully and smiled again shortly afterward, Odasaku nodded his head smiling a little relieved at the fact that he had talked to someone rather than keep their problems, even though the three of them would like Dazai to open up to them more.
"As long as you don't try to drag me to church, that's ok too," The brother said laughing and Dazai looked at him dismayed, Odasaku blinked a few times laying his head "I'm not going to church with you nor screwing" He took Dazai's arms away pulling away the disbelieving gaze.
"Oh, Oda, please? I don't want to go alone" he pleaded putting his hands together and the other just frantically denied it.
"I never want to set foot inside the Dazai church again."
Dazai let out a long, defeated "AAAA" as he threw himself onto his bed.
"I can go with you if you want" Chuuya muttered low and in a second the eyes of the three there were fixed on him "What is it?"
"Is it really Chuuya?" Dazai spoke excitedly, getting back up and going straight to his friend to hug him. With the hug, the redhead muttered something irritated and pushed the other away, nodding his head.
"I will, how many hours is it?"
"At four."
"Fine, I'm going home so I'll meet you here at three-thirty."
"Could it be on the street? It's just that I want to buy something to take to him."
"Oh, of course," He looked at Dazai despondent trying not to show too much, Chuuya said goodbye with a dry goodbye and left the apartment, Osamu was surprised by Nakahara's suddenly calm behavior but decided to ignore it going to talk to Oda and Ango about the man he would meet.
Ango left a short time later and Oda stuck around to make sure Dazai got something to eat before he left.
Now it was past three and Dazai was already out of the house in a candy store, he would buy something for Fyodor, and looking at the shelves decided that he would take something for Chuuya too. He ended up buying a box of bear-shaped cookies for the redhead, and for Dostoevsky he bought chocolates, he wasn't sure the older man liked sweets, but he hoped so. For himself, he bought only an ordinary bar of chocolate,
As he was leaving the store his cell phone started to ring when he answered he heard Chuuya's voice, he asked where the boy was and that he would find him, Dazai passed his location and less than five minutes Chuuya was already there, he didn't take long much as I imagined that Dazai would have bought chocolates, he always gave chocolates.
"Chibi, you're here" Greeted Chuuya with a hug while the redhead pushed him away pretending a disgusted face that made Osamu laugh, the brownie extended his hand with a bag of cookies to Nakahara, and the same couldn't help but smile when he realized it was for him.
"Thank you" he muttered opening the bag and taking out a pack of chocolate bears, his smile widened and he opened the pack taking one of them and putting it in his mouth. Dazai couldn't help but smile and caress Chuuya's hair, the shy boy took Dazai's hand out of his hair - Don't treat me like a puppy - He said trying to contain a smile and Osamu laughed, shaking his head.
"You were nice to me and decided to come with me, I'm giving you the reward like a good puppy" He scoffed, and in seconds he felt a punch from Chuuya in his stomach, Dazai put his arm over the beaten place, mumbling curses.
"Can't you be cute even as an asshole?" He crossed his arms and put the cookies in the bag again, and shoved them into Dazai's belly "Keep your dog treats and give Dosto whatever" He left stomping, the Brownie recovered, running after Chuuya almost begging for his forgiveness, and after getting to his knees the redhead relented, accepting the cookies again and going to church with Dazai.
It was now four o'clock and they were quickening their pace so they wouldn't be too late. When they arrived they realized that it was not so full, Dazai looked for the Russian for the seats and found him sitting on one of the benches in the corner, he pulled Chuuya by the hand and they entered the church.
"Fyodor?" Dazai whispered when he saw the man finish his prayer, his purple irises glared at the two beside him and he smiled gently once more, he greeted the boys with a slight bow of his head and motioned for them to take a seat.
Chuuya narrowed his eyes looking at Fyodor who was sitting next to Dazai, he could admit that the man was really handsome, even more so in person, he felt a little disappointed and afraid, he kind of wished he wasn't kind or cool, well he hoped he wasn't if he was horrible he could easily hate him. But if he was good, he couldn't be angry.
Nakahara can barely pay attention to the cult, and he wasn't even that interested anyway, even though he looked at Dazai from time to time and caught himself trying to understand what was going through his head, he still didn't really want to be there. As for Dazai, he looked uncomfortable but still seemed to pay attention, and Fyodor, he looked good and happy there, Chuuya wondered how he had accepted this situation. But the truth is, the only reason I was there was to know if everything was really going to be okay, even if it was for the slightest thing, he wanted to know who got his Osamu safe, he was so worried last night.
He was afraid that Dazai had done something to his own life, he felt desperate, he called so much, he searched so hard, he wouldn't say that to Osamu (even though his countless calls would surely be recorded) he wouldn't say that he ran for all the places his friend used to go, he wouldn't say that because he knew that even making jokes Dazai would feel guilty. He had noticed that he was in a bad way that day, he wanted to see through his eyes who had managed to hold his attention to the point of making him vent to him, to the point of letting him hear his pain, something that Dazai never did with Chuuya. In a way, he wanted to thank him, but he was afraid that Fyodor might become more important to Dazai, he didn't want to be abandoned, even if it was maybe a rash idea, he couldn't keep his thoughts in order, he couldn't contain his fear.
He wants to believe that years of friendship can't be exchanged so easily, but his mind always seems to want to deceive him.
In the midst of his jumbled thoughts the mass was finally over, he still wasn't completely freed from the chains of his mind, but now he followed the Russian and the brownie out of the church. The two walked in silence side by side until they stopped on the sidewalk, Chuuya was a little behind him, he looked up when he heard Dazai call him.
"What's it?"
"Fyodor, this is Chuuya" he finally introduced them and Dostoevsky smiled greeting him, Nakahara did the same and Fyodor started asking typical questions when you meet someone, like "where are you from?".
"Oh really, you two are from Osaka? How cool, I came from Moscow when I exchanged here, I ended up getting citizenship in the meantime, it was kind of complicated but I did it" He smiled and Dazai listened carefully, Chuuya forced a smile and sighed when he realized that he actually looked good.
They made small talk outside the church for a while, Chuuya just answering questions every now and then and Dazai and Fyodor talking about things like studies and whatever else, Chuuya wasn't that interested actually, even though he tried to pay attention.
"Well, it's already night, what do you think about going for a drink?" Dazai suggested and received an elbow from Chuuya.
"Man, it hasn't even been two hours since we left the church."
"I agree with him, and I told him yesterday that I would like to stop drinking" He crossed his arms, laughing weakly and Osamu sighed, bored, he had already been so long with his ass nailed to that chair that now he just wanted to drink 'But I think I have an idea."
"What better idea than going out for drinks?" Dazai muttered dejectedly resting his head on Chuuya's shoulder getting some cursing about him and putting his weight on his shoulders, Fyodor smiled at the interaction of the two and thought for a while then looked back at them.
"You can come over to the house, I can make you something to eat, we'll talk and I'll show you my cats" He looked at them suggestively and Dazai smiled at the idea, Chuuya was already discouraged but forced a smile looking sideways at Dazai, he wanted to know whether to agree or not.
"I think it's a good idea, and you Chibi?"
"Yeah, I think so too" He forced a laugh and nodded, Dazai seemed excited by the idea and they decided to go to Dostoevsky's house.
Chuuya once again started to think too much, could he be a serial killer? Should he run home right now? Worse, Dazai would probably be killed, he's sure his friend would love to be killed by a handsome man, oh God he was ruined.
They walked to Fyodor's house because the Russian told them it wasn't far, when they got there it was an apartment, they went up to the floor of Dostoevsky's house and soon they were inside the house.
It was a definitely big house, and it was on the top floor, around the house I could see some things like toys and stuffed animals lying around.
"The toys belong to my cats, they should soon appear, they love visitors, even if someone rarely comes here," He said already heading to the kitchen and being followed, Chuuya sat down on one of the chairs at the table that was there and Dazai did the same.
Dazai seemed to remember something so he got up and walked over to Fyodor handing him a bag.
"I don't know if you like chocolates, but I brought these" Dostoevsky thanked him gracefully and placed it on the counter, the redhead watched from afar taking a deep breath and laying his head on his arms, Dazai was smiling.
"How annoying," thought Chuuya "Fyodor really looked good, why did he look good? Why did he have to look good?"
Osamu returned to sit at the table next to him, the Russian started to cook, and he said he would make roast chicken or something.
"How annoying," thought Chuuya "Fyodor really looked good, why did he look good? Why did he have to look good?"
Osamu returned to sit at the table next to him, the Russian started to cook, and he said he would make roast chicken or something.
Nakahara had her eyes closed and breathing quietly, when she opened her eyes quickly when she felt the touch of Dazai's hands in her hair, she felt a shiver run through her body, he liked it when Dazai stroked his hair, he liked it so much. Chuuya took advantage of the touch by closing his eyes again, until the touch was gone, he would look at why, but he soon understood when he heard Dazai and Fyodor's voices in the kitchen talking about the food.
He decided he would go back and talk too, he was upset but he would try.
"The chicken smells good," Chuuya said going to Dazai and Fyodor, as a way of praising him he would put his hand on the shoulders of the same, but Dostoevsky quickly dodged looking at him strangely, Chuuya shrugged his shoulders looking away, collected his hand and forced a smile.
"W-well thanks, I hope y-you like it," Fyodor said nervously, trying to smile but it looked forced too.
Dazai was grateful when he heard a low meow coming from his feet, he was sure that the cat could save the weather.
Osamu didn't quite know whether to question Fyodor about the fact that he had dodged Chuuya's touch, but he had done something similar the night before with Dazai, even if he remembered briefly, so he decided he would try to change the subject.
"Oh, that's cute, what's her name?" Osamu asked suddenly attracting the attention of the two men there, he crouched looking at the little cat closely.
"Looks like the Star decided to show up" he bent down also caressing the furry kitten. She had white fur and her eyes were of different colors, Chuuya smiled wide, bending down too.
"C-can I play or is she mad?" Nakahara asked.
"Go ahead, she's sweet" replied Dostoevsky pulling his hand away, Chuuya had his biggest smile and started to caress Estrela, the kitten was really cute, she enjoyed the affection and meowed from time to time, Chuuya seemed delighted "You look like cats, do you have any?"
"Oh, no, my parents don't like animals, and my mother is allergic" He confessed, still giving the kitten attention, Fyodor nodded, getting up to look at the oven.
Chuuya sat on the kitchen floor and picked up Estrela, the kitten snuggled into his lap and purred, Nakahara could feel his heart melt, he loved cats.
Dazai smiled at the scene, he knew that Chuuya liked cats, it was really cute when he met one.
"I think it'll be ready in about eight minutes." Fyodor appeared again, crouching on the floor to look at the other two who were next to Estrela.
"Why is her name Star?" Chuuya asked now looking at the Russian.
"I like stars."
"Me too, I even have a tattoo with stars."
"Really? I'd like to see if I can."
"I can show you later, it's on the back, so it's complicated" He buried his nose in the kitten's fur feeling how fragrant that animal was, Fyodor seemed to really take good care of the cat, how could that man be like that, he couldn't hate it.
"Do you have any more cats? I remember you saying they were cats" Dazai asked looking at Fyodor, the man nodded.
"I have eight counting Estrela."
"Eight?" Chuuya and Dazai widened their eyes.
"Are you some kind of cat uncle or something?" Osamu scoffed laughing, and Fyodor chuckled shrugging his shoulders.
"Not yet, when I'm older maybe" He got up stretching "And it's a lot of work to keep eight of them already, at least seven of them don't take much work, Lua for example already tried to eat my mice twice when I adopted her. "
"My god, do you have mice too?" Chuuya looked at him shocked and Fyodor nodded.
"She doesn't try to eat them anymore, actually it was just moon work because I rescued her, so the creation kind of didn't come from me."
"You seem to take very good care of your pets, can I see the mice later?" The redhead asked getting up and stroking Estrela's ears still with his face buried in her fur.
"Of course, anyway, I think it should be ready, shall we eat?" He took the chicken out of the oven putting it on the counter "There are noodles on the stove and rice too" The other two agreed, and Chuuya put the cat on the floor soon washing her hands.
They helped themselves and went to the table to eat, they ate calmly and sometimes talked about some things, Chuuya no longer felt so desperate now, he believes more than ever now that cats can work miracles.
"What do you work with Fyodor?" Dazai asked serving the three there with juice, Chuuya looked at Fyodor curiously waiting for the answer, he already knew that the man was older than them because he had mentioned it before, but still didn't know what he did.
"Thank you" he thanked Dazai for having filled his glass and drank a little before replying "I've been a lawyer for a while, I started college at seventeen and finished at twenty-two."
"Wow, you must have tried really hard" Chuuya commented sipping her juice too.
"It was tough years, but I think it was worth it, I kind of didn't get to enjoy it much at that time" He hung his head over his hand thoughtfully "But I don't think I could enjoy it anyway, but I don't regret it, God really wanted me to I would do something like that" He smiled and Osamu fell silent, looking away, Chuuya forced a smile and went back to eating "And you boys, what are you studying?"
"Medicine" Nakahara replied with a shrug.
"Wow, is it really complicated, as they say?"
"I think it really depends, but it really is a lot, but I think the law was also difficult."
"It really was," He said thoughtfully, and turned his curious gaze to Dazai "And you, what are you studying?"
"Art."
"What do you like about the arts in particular?"
"I like to paint" He replied proudly and Fyodor offered another gentle smile, Dazai still wondered how he could smile so much, however, he smiled back.
"You guys are doing good things, if you need help even though I probably won't be much because we have different knowledge, just give me a call" he suggested and the other two nodded in agreement.
As soon as they finished eating Fyodor collected the dishes taking the sink, Chuuya followed him, Fyodor would start washing but Chuuya ended up touching the faucet first, their hands touched and Dostoevsky shrugged his own quickly a little nervous leaving the kitchen quickly, Nakahara he felt a little annoyed but shrugged his shoulders and started washing the dishes.
As soon as he finished he saw that neither the Russian nor Dazai were at the table, he walked around the house and saw the light in the room on, arriving there he found Osamu with one of Fyodor's rats on his shoulder, Nakahara approached calmly looking with a smile.
"Want to put one on your shoulder too Chuuya?" Fyodor asked and Chuuya denied raising his hands "Come on, they don't bite" He caressed what was in his hand and smiled suggestively at the redhead who just denied it once more.
"I'm fine just looking."
"This one has your Fyodor's eyes" Dazai pointed to the cage where a mouse was walking around.
"How can a mouse have black eyes" Fyodor wondered crouching down "It's not the first time people say that believe it" He muttered indignantly and Dazai laughed, Chuuya approached and crouched down too, realizing that Osamu's comment was actually true.
"What's his name?" He asked the redhead looking at the mouse.
"Nikolai, a friend of mine, named him Dostoevsky junior" he opened the cage door and put what was in his hand inside.
"A good name" Chuuya laughed and Fyodor smiled looking at the mouse.
"So it means that Dostoevsky is a mouse," Dazai said taking what was on his shoulder from there, proceeding to put it inside the cage as well.
"I think so" The Russian got up, flicking the cage, he smiled and started to head towards the bedroom door, then Dazai and Chuuya also left "I think the cats are in the other room, they are all very nice, just the moon that can hide but you want to see them?"
"Sure!" Nakahara replied quickly which made the other two laugh, he cleared his throat in embarrassment and nodded in agreement.
The two followed Fyodor to another room and there it was full of pillows and some beds, the kittens were lying down, some playing and others just looking at the wall.
"Here are the owners of my house" Laughed going to the middle of the room, Chuuya smiled big and entered the room too.
The three stayed there for a long time playing with the cats, Nakahara can say that was the one he enjoyed the most, he loved that furry mess. Fyodor introduced each of them by name to two, and they were able to pet each one
After a long time there, they left the room and Chuuya and Dazai decided that it was time to leave, it was about eleven at night.
"I think we'll go then," Dazai said already saying goodbye, Fyodor looked a little disappointed but agreed.
"Before leaving, Chuuya told me that he would show me his star tattoo..." He looked at him intently and Nakahara thought for a while crossing his arms, he laughed and nodded, took off the white shirt he was wearing, and turned around.
"How cute, this animal is what?"
"Actually I don't know, it's just a drawing I did when I was younger."
"That was the only tattoo Chuuya got, I remember he was scared for a week" Dazai laughed and Chuuya narrowed his eyes looking at him annoyed.
Nakahara put his shirt back on and turned to the two boys, Dazai was now close to Fyodor, probably to look too, he shrugged and started to head towards the front door followed by the other two.
Fyodor for a moment was startled like the night before, he wanted to touch Chuuya's tattoo, but he held back, and withdrew his hands before they could even get close, then replied with a just "How cute".
They walked to the door and said goodbye once more, Dostoevsky saw the two disappear into the street through the window, and turned to his now empty house, he threw himself on the sofa thoughtfully and smiled. It had been a while since he'd had human company, he'd have coworkers over at home a few times for get-togethers, but on the whole, he really wasn't friends with them and just accepted because he didn't want to go out for drinks. But being with someone he wanted at home for a long time, the last time was last year when Nikolai came to visit him, and since his friend still lives in Russia, they hardly ever saw each other in person.
He would like this to be repeated more often, Chuuya was fun and Dazai was too, he was happy.