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From the moment he had met his then Commander, Rex had known he was screwed. Not because Anakin Skywalker was a bad person, but because he was the complete opposite. He was just so good and Rex knew he was done for almost the moment they met.
Most importantly, he was good and kind to Rex and his vod’e . He was open and friendly and interested in them as people, not cannon fodder. And he had this smile . A smile that lit up his face and crinkled his blue eyes. A smile that always made Rex’s heart beat faster.
It was that smile that had Rex realizing how truly screwed he was. Right after he and Skywalker had been given their own command, he and the newly knighted Jedi found themselves just talking. No war, no fear, no ranks. Just two men talking and getting to know each other. It was the most comfortable and at peace Rex has ever been.
At one point, he had glanced over to his new general and was met with gentle blue eyes and a kind, affectionate smile. It was that moment that Rex realized just how truly screwed he was. He wasn’t just attracted to his beautiful commanding officer. He was in love with him.
It was a feeling that only grew as soon as he realized it existed. Which was frustrating, because by the time they were headed out for Christophsis, he was practically smitten. It had only been a couple months, the Five-oh-First was still relatively new to each other and their Jedi was only just beginning to look like a Knight. Despite the first fact, Rex had still managed to find someone to whine about the second one to.
Not that Coric particularly liked being the one Rex complained to. He insisted that he was a medic not a mind healer. He had no desire to listen to Rex whine about how pretty Skywalker is. Though, like a good vod, he still did.
Not without complaining. Or judging Rex. Which was exactly what he was doing now, weeks into the campaign on Christophsis, arms crossed and one eyebrow raised as Rex more or less ranted at him.
He couldn’t really blame Coric. Cristophsis has been one shit show after another, and the medic was no doubt exhausted. Rex felt that he couldn’t really be blamed, either, though. Their infuriating, yet still painfully lovely, Jedi had just tossed his brand new youngling at him after all.
Coric seemed to have no sympathy at all. In fact, he decided to make it worse by opening his damn traitor mouth.
“Have you thought about what it means that he immediately trusted the Jedi youngling he was suddenly put in charge of with you?”
Rex paused and shot him an unimpressed look. “It means he trusts me. Of course he does. I’m his Captain. We’re basically partners!”
“Partners he trusts his child with.”
The amused grin on Coric’s face had Rex’s frown deepening until he understood what his vod meant with dawning horror.
“No.” he declared firmly, finger pointed into Coric’s grinning face. “No, you are not meant to enable me. You’re supposed to tell me I’m being stupid and point out how foolish it is to fall for my general!”
“See, I would, if I wasn’t certain that said general had the same feelings for you.”
“You’re out of your karking mind.”
Coric snorted. “No, I’m not. Skywalker spends all his damn time with you. You’re the only one who really gets him to smile. He gave you his brand new youngling to watch ober! He at least feels something for you. Don’t you think you should find out what?”
“No.” Rex replied firmly before turning on his heel and leaving before Coric could try and say anything else. He had clearly lost his mind and Rex had no desire to continue to listen to his lunacy.
Except, he didn’t have to keep listening for it to drive him insane. He had already heard it. It was already pestering him with a consistency Rex had never had to deal with before. He might have been able to ignore the nagging feeling that Coric may be right, if he hadn’t run into his general. Or, more accurately, if said General hadn’t been waiting for Rex at their makeshift planet side barracks.
“Rex!” he seemed to sag in relief when he saw him. “I was waiting for you.”
“Is everything okay, sir?”
“I, I don’t know.”
“Is the Commander okay?”
“Ahsoka? Yeah, she’s uninjured?”
“But?”
He sighed. “But, I told her she’ll make it as my Padawan, and I’m sure she will! In fact, I know she will.” he gave another sigh, his shoulders sagging. “I just don’t know if I’ll make it. If I’ll be good enough to train her.”
“What?” Rex couldn’t help practically exclaiming. “Why would you think that?”
“Rex, I’m nineteen! ” he exclaimed. “I should be a senior Padawan, not a Knight in charge of a fourteen year old kid! I know nothing about kids! I know nothing about being a Knight, let alone someone’s master! I’m going to kriff this up! Kriff her up and she’s gonna resent me!I just know it!”
“Sir, you aren’t going to kriff anything up.”
Skywalker gave him a very unsure, almost panicked, look. “How could you possibly know that?”
“Because you care enough not to.”
The other man stared at him for a long moment before admitting, “I don’t understand what you mean.”
“Well, you obviously care enough about the Commander to be worried about hurting her. Which means you’ll actively do all you can not to. Because you already care about her after knowing her for a matter of hours.”
“Oh.” he whispered softly and then added vehemently, “but, but that’s not enough! I have no idea what I’m doing, Rex! How can I possibly be responsible for a Padawan on my own when I’m barely not a Padawan myself?”
“You aren’t alone though.”
“I can’t ask Obi-Wan! That would be like admitting I’m too young, not ready.” he sighed heavily and added in a weak voice. “Not good enough.”
Rex was pretty sure it was the desolate look in his Jedi’s normally vibrant eyes that had him saying softly, “I didn’t mean General Kenobi, sir. I meant that I’m here and happy to help in any way I can.”
He swallowed thickly, eyes widening, as he asked, “You would do that? Be willing to help make sure I don’t totally mess Ahsoka up?"
It took all of Rex’s self control to not tell him that he would be willing to do anything for him if he just asked. Instead of making himself sound like a lovesick fool, though, he just nodded his head. “I don’t think you’ll mess her up at all, sir, but I would be happy to help you make sure she survives this war. And to be there for you when you inevitably panic.”
“Am I that transparent?
Rex chuckled. “No, sir, but I sort of understand the sentiment. My shinies aren’t the same as a Padawan, I know, but I do have a feeling of responsibility to make sure they are okay.”
His eyes went impossibly wide as he gasped. “Rex! I didn’t even consider that! Of course they’re like Padawans to you! And, and you lose them so much and I’ve just been here, being an awful friend and panicking about the one life in my hands!”
“Hey, no. You aren’t being a bad friend, sir.” Rex assured him quickly. “The Commander, she’s your sister? Child? I’m not sure how it works, but I know it is different.”
“They’re your brothers . I need to, I dunno, change my plans? Do things differently? You keep losing them and it's all my fault! How could you possibly want to help me with Ahsoka! You should want nothing to do with me!”
Rex had no idea what had possessed him to reach out and grab a hold of the Jedi’s flailing hands. The moment they were in his grasp, startled blue eyes met his and he gave him a soft smile.
“Sir, General Skywalker, Anakin , there is not a single one of my vod’e whose death is your fault. This war has only just started. It isn’t feasible to save each and every one of my brothers as the war is just going to keep going. You have done more than most others have for us, you have done all you can. You can’t keep them all safe, but I can help you keep your sister safe. Can help you teach her how to survive in this war. How to grow and thrive even. Please. Let me be there for you."
“You won’t resent me?” he whispered.
“Never.”
He sagged, arms dropping, an action that reminded Rex that he was still holding his hands. He moved to release them, but the other man tightened his grip instead.
“Thank you, Rex. I don’t deserve you.”
“That is a matter of opinion, sir, and not one that we share."
He chuckled and gave Rex that blinding grin that he loved so dearly. It was only then that Rex realized he had more or less agreed to co-parent the man he was in love with’s pseudo child. Despite the pulsing in his chest that thought gave him, he could never regret it. Not with the awed, thankful way Anakin Skywalker was staring at him. Rex was just well and truly screwed, and he didn't have it in himself to be sorry about it.