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Steve's PoV
Me, Robin, and Nance started running back to Eddie's trailer after we set Vecna on fire, and Nancy shot him.
"We need to make sure Dustin and Eddie got out okay" I yelled as we got closer to the trailer park.
"Well then run faster dingus" Robin yelled as she and Nancy continued ahead of me. They ran around one of the trailers disappearing for a second. I quickly ran around the same trailer before stopping as I ran into the girls.
"What's wron-" I paused as I looked at Robin's shocked face. Nancy's hand rose to cover her mouth. I looked in the direction they were looking and froze. "Henderson?" I asked softly and pushed past the two shock ridden girls.
"It was supposed to be his year, Steve." Dustin's voice cracked as more tears fell. I fell to my knees next to Eddie's lifeless body. He laid in Dustin's arms as he sobbed for his lost friend.
"I told you not to be a hero" I whispered as I looked at his face. We sat in almost complete silence. The only sounds were Dustin's sob. I nudged him. "I'm going to carry him back to the gate. You and the girls will go through, and I'll have you guys help me bring him back." I said quietly and squeezed his shoulder. He nodded and took a shaky breath. I stood up and watched the girls help Dustin walk to the trailer.
Looking down at Eddie I felt my eyes water. I realize now that I never got to apologize for how he was treated in high school, what I let happen. I crouched back down and moved some strands of hair out of his face. His eyes were still slightly open. I sighed softly and gently closed them before putting one arm under his knees, and the other around his shoulders. I lifted him up and started the walk to his trailer. Robin held the door open, and we walked in. Nancy and Dustin were on the other side.
"Alright Robin go up there and help them find something we can use to help bring him back up there" They came back with some more sheets tied together. This will have to do, I guess. I set him down on the floor and leaned him against me. I took the sheets they sent to me and tied them around his chest. "Um, I think this will work." I yelled to them and told them to pull. As he passed through, they tried their best to catch him, but he mostly just fell onto the mattress. I heard a stressed noise from Dustin as he quickly went to support Eddie.
"Steve hurry up, we have no idea if this gate is going to close now that Vecna is dead." Nancy said as she threw the sheets to me again. Robin and Dustin moved Eddie out of the way as I climbed back. We sat in more silence. I stared up at the gate as it pulsed.
"Oh God. what do we do now?" Robin asked as she paced. "How do we explain this to anyone?" She added frantically. I frowned as I sat up.
"Who would we explain it to Robin? The whole town hated him." I said glaring slightly at her. She frowned and opened her mouth to say something when she was cut off.
"His uncle" we all turned to look at Dustin who still had Eddie in his arms. "His uncle never gave up on him." Dustin whispered as he pulled Eddie closer. "I'll think of an excuse. and tell him when I see him."
"Dustin, let one of us do that." Nancy said as she crouched down next to him with her hand on his shoulder. He nudged her hand away and shook his head.
"No, it needs to come from someone who was truly his friend." Dustin snapped as he stood up. "I-I'm going to go find Mr. Munson, you guys find somewhere to hide Eddie for now so no one in town finds him." He added quickly before he was out of the trailer and gone. I ran out the door and yelled for him, but he was gone quickly.
"Shit." I said and rubbed my face.
"You and Robin find somewhere for Eddie, and I'll go look after Dustin." Nancy said as she ran out the trailer. I turned to Robin who was sitting next to Eddie.
"You know he was never a bad person." She said quietly as she looked down at him. I frowned and sat next to her. "I think he always tried his best to not let the things people say get to him, but sometimes I think he was just tired. He would hide sometimes while at school. I'd catch him hiding in empty classrooms or under the bleachers. He was actually pretty fun. He was the first person to find out I liked girls." I looked at her confused.
"What do you mean? I didn't know you were that close."
"We weren't" She chuckled. "He kinda figured it out but I also kinda told him." She added. "The cheerleaders were practicing on the field, and I commented on how pretty Crissy looked then I rambled on about the crush I have on Vicki. I obviously realized too late what exactly I was saying and started to panic. But he calmly told me he couldn't relate with a smirk. I knew then that me and Eddie Munson were more alike than I thought." She said with a small smile before standing up and walking towards the door. "Come on, I have somewhere we can take him." I watched as she walked out, and the door closed loudly behind her. I looked back at Eddie with a frown.
His face was pale. I gently laid my fingers against his cheek, as if he were in a deep sleep and I was just trying not to wake him.
"Eddie 'The Freak' Munson huh?" I asked no one. "You were no freak. And I'm sorry for not seeing it sooner. If only I didn't care about my image so much in high school maybe, we could have been friends." I said with a small, sad, chuckle before I picked him up and brought him outside. Robin stood next to my car with the back door open. I sighed as I laid him on the seat. I then opened the trunk and pulled out a blanket. I unfolded it and laid it over him. Me and Robin got into the front, and I turned to her as I started the car. "Tell me where to go." I said quietly. She nodded and started giving me directions. As we started driving through the trailer park I stopped when I saw Dustin and Nancy outside a trailer.
"That must be Mr. Munson's new trailer." Robin said sadly. I nodded as I parked next to Nancy's car. We looked around each other before stepping out of the car.
"He was a hero Mr. Munson" I heard Dustin say as we walked up. I leaned down to Nancy's ear.
"Robin says she has somewhere we can take him." She jumped a little and I apologized quickly. She nodded and frowned softly. "Mr. Munson" I said as I stepped in front of Robin and Nancy. "Um my name is Steve; I am a friend of Eddie's. We have somewhere we can take him. Somewhere he will be safe from the town."
"You have him with you?" He asked as he stood up quickly. I looked back at Robin who looked down at her shaky hands. I nodded and frowned down at the ground.
"How bout you ride with me and Dustin. We can follow Robin and Steve to the spot. You can have some time to process this on our way there and have some time with Eddie when we get there." Nancy suggested softly. He hesitated but eventually agreed.
As we drove across Hawkins, I realized we were getting closer to an area no one ever went to. Mostly because it was off limits.
"The woods by the lab Robin?" I asked as I looked at her like she was crazy.
"No one comes here Steve. His grave will be safe here. Eddie will be safe." She said as she looked out the window. We continued driving until the trees got too dense. I drove to a stop and got out. Mr. Munson, Nancy, and Dustin stepped out of Nancy's car.
"Isn't this area off limits?" His uncle asked, confused.
"That’s why it's the perfect place sir. No one will bother him here. He will finally be at peace." Robin said with a sad smile. He nodded slightly. I walked back towards my car and put my hand on the handle from the back seat.
"He's back here sir." I said quietly as I opened the door. I left it open and walked away. I grabbed Robin's hand and pulled her away. "Let's give him some space you guys." I whispered as I gestured everyone away from the car. I stiffened as I heard sobs behind me.
"My boy, I'm so sorry I couldn't protect you. I'm so sorry." Mr. Munson continued to cry for a few minutes before it eventually got quiet. I watched as he pulled Eddie out and held him in his arms. "Do you guys have shovels?" He asked as he forced himself to stop crying. Nancy pulled a few out of her trunk.
"Dustin stole some from the trailer park while he was walking to your trailer sir." I shook my head as I grabbed one.
"Well let's go find somewhere so Eddie can rest." I said quickly before walking away from everyone.
Why do I feel like this? Like there are weights sitting on my chest. Like my throat is closing in on itself. My eyes burn with unshed tears. My hands are sweating, and my heart is pounding. I took a deep breath as a tear slid down.
We walked for a while until Mr. Munson stopped us. "Here in the middle of these trees." I looked around at the trees that formed a small circle. I nodded and began digging. Nancy and Dustin joined. Robin walked around the area with a flashlight looking for something. Mr. Munson sat on the ground with Eddie in his arms. He also held a flashlight in our direction so we could see as we dug.
After a few hours of digging, I helped Nancy and Dustin out of the hole. I waited at the bottom for Dustin and Eddie's uncle to say their last goodbye.
I frowned as I heard them both crying again. I looked up as Robin stood above me holding a rock. Tears streamed down her face.
"Steve, are you ready for him?" Mr. Munson asked. I turned to his voice and my frown deepened as he held Eddie. I nodded nonetheless and held out my arms. He slowly lowered Eddie towards me, and I laid him down into the giant hole. His uncle walked away. I turned to Eddie and crouched down to adjust him. I straightened his legs and folded his hands onto his chest. I gently moved his hair to lay nicely. "Here kid. maybe the blanket can help make sure he doesn't get dirtier." I looked up to see Mr. Munson holding my blanket out to me. I nodded and grabbed it. I covered Eddie with it. As I was pulling it over his face I froze.
I felt the burning in my eyes again. And the knot in my throat. The weights on my chest. My stomach twisted as I choked out "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't save you" I covered his face and was pulled out of the hole. Me, Dustin, and Mr. Munson grabbed the shovels and began throwing the dirt into the hole. I watched as the dirt slowly covered the blanket. And Eddie's lifeless body underneath it. Dustin was crying again.
After a while, the dirt was put back in place. It was starting to get light out as well. I sighed as Dustin fell to his knees on top of the newly packed dirt. Mr. Munson stood there staring at the ground with a sad look on his face.
"Uh me and Nancy carved his name into a rock as best we could with what we had." She said as she held it out to Mr. Munson.
He took it and smiled softly at them. "Thank you, all of you, thank you. Thank you so much for being there for my boy up until the end." He said quietly as he walked to the tree that was right above where Eddie was buried. He dug out some of the dirt with his hand and put the rock there. He buried it slightly so it would stay and stepped back.
"I also got some flowers; I know they probably weren't his thing, but he deserves a little more." Nancy said softly as she laid five flowers next to the rock. Mr. Munson nodded. He kept telling us thank you as we walked back to the cars. Dustin was about to get into my back seat but froze.
"Go with Nance for now, okay?" I said softly and pulled him into a quick hug. He nodded and quickly got into her back seat. I watched as they drove away so they can drop off Mr. Munson. I sighed and leaned my head against the steering wheel.
"Steve?" Robin asked quietly. I took a deep breath and sat up, turning to her.
"Yeah Rob?" I asked softly. She gave me a soft smile.
"You're still wearing his vest." I looked down and felt the heaviness in my chest again. I looked up and turned to her as my vision blurred. She looked at me sadly and pulled me into a hug. I let out the sob that I didn’t know I was holding back.
It's been a week now. Hopper is alive, the Byers are moving back to Hawkins, Max is in the hospital, and Eddie's name is cleared. Not that it matters. Most of the town still hates him. Eddie is also dead. So, clearing his name did nothing in the end.
I sat on the edge of my bed as Robin helped me change my bandages. Lucas asked me to take him, Mike, and Dustin to go visit Max in the hospital. I guess she's showing signs of waking up already.
"I'm glad Max is going to be okay" Robin broke the silence as she stood up from crouching on the floor. I nodded in agreement. I watched as she paused by the trash can. I followed her eyesight to Eddie's vest. I frowned and looked down at my hands in my lap. "Steve, you've barely talked in the last week. Dustin is worried about you. I'm worried too." She said as she sat next to me. She gently rested her hand on my wrist and gave it a slight squeeze. I shrugged causing her to sigh.
"We've all been through a lot in the last couple of weeks. But it is obvious something is eating at you" she said quietly.
"We have to go pick up the kids" I said as I pulled on a shirt and walked downstairs. Once in the car we started our drive. We got Dustin first, as we pulled up, he was already on the porch. He started walking towards the car but hesitated for a second.
"Shit, I forgot he doesn't like the back seat." She mumbled as she got out of the car. Dustin got into the passenger side saying a small thank you, and I'm sorry. Robin smiled at him and lightly punched his shoulder. "No need to be sorry kid, there’s more room back here anyway. Well until the other little gremlins get picked up." Dustin laughed at that, and I smiled softly at Robin through the mirror. We picked up the others and headed to the hospital.
As we got closer Robin sighed. "Oh, thank God, I will fight both of you if I ever have to sit with you two idiots again" She snapped glaring at the Lucas and Mike. I shook my head and smirked at Dustin.
Mike and Lucas got out quickly and ran towards the hospital, but Dustin stayed.
"Are you o-" I started asking but he cut me off.
"It's been a week and none of them have asked about him". I frowned and looked back at Robin who looked confused. "I thought that Lucas or Mike would say something at least. cause you know they were a part of Hellfire. But Mike is just worried about El. and Lucas only cares about Max. Which I get. I'm not mad at them for being worried about their girlfriends. Especially since both are also my friends. But I just thought, or maybe was hoping more people would care that Eddie is gone." Dustin finished as he held his hands in tight fists.
"There is a lot to process Henderson, I think all of us are just doing it differently. Grief and coping aren’t a set thing." I answered him as I patted his shoulder. "You could try being honest with everyone, talk to everyone about how you're feeling and try to get them to talk about it. until then you have a friend who fortunately made it back, so let's go support her for now okay?" I added as he nodded and the three of us got out and headed into the hospital.
The nurses at the counter sighed and pointed towards the end of the hall. I noticed Hopper and Joyce standing outside with large smiles. I looked at Robin then at Dustin before we all ran down the hall. Dustin busted into the room.
"You're awake?" He yelled as he looked at Max. I smiled as I looked in her direction and saw her sitting up. Lucas was holding her hand and just looked really happy. The party was excited and telling her everything that's happened in the last week.
Everyone who was a part of the upside down was here. Except for one person and Max seemed to notice. I could tell she was about to say something, so I stepped behind Dustin. I set my hands on his shoulders and squeezed he looked up at me confused but I just stared ahead.
“Where’s Eddie? Is he still in hiding?” Dustin stiffened and I squeezed a little harder. The room got quiet. Robin turned away, and Nancy looked at the ground.
“Who is Eddie?” El asked quietly.
“Eddie was the leader of the Hellfire Club me, Mike, and Lucas were a part of. The town hated him, and he died a hero trying to save it.” Dustin answered before pushing past me and out of the room.
“Dustin” I yelled after him and started following him. Hopper stopped me.
“I’ll talk to him. You’re grieving too” he said quietly.
“Steve grieving Eddie? He barley knew him. He was one of the people who bullied Eddie when he was in high school.” Mike said as he rolled his eyes. Nancy smacked his shoulder.
“Oh, but you’re grieving him, right?” I snapped as I turned towards him. Robin turned to me with wide eyes. “I haven’t seen you even say anything about it in the last week. Obviously either of you didn’t tell El or Will about him considering El didn’t even know who he was.” I said my voice raising. “You don’t get to tell anyone who can grieve when you didn’t even care about him in the first place.” I ended before storming out of the room.
I heard Robin behind me as I made my way out of the hospital. “Steve where are you going?” She yelled as we exited the building.
“I can’t be in there right now” I snapped as I stopped and turned to her. She jumped a little and I softened. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“You didn’t really, but Steve. You look horrible.” She said as she looked at me with concern. “I don’t know how no one noticed it before, but when was the last time you slept?” I frowned as she stepped closer. At this point Nancy had also come down and she was standing next to Hopper and Dustin. All with concerned looks.
“I’ve slept Robin.” I said as I crossed my arms.
“Yeah, well how much then?” She asked also crossing her arms.
“Not much.” I mumbled as I looked down at the ground. “Whenever I fall asleep it’s either the upside down, or-” I cut myself off before I said too much. Robin sighed.
“I think you should go home. Try to get some sleep and think about why today bothered you so much.” She said softly.
“I’ll give Robin and Dustin a ride home when they want to leave.” Nancy said with a soft smile. I nodded and walked to my car.
“Nancy, can you drive me home now?” I heard Dustin say as I opened the door. I looked up in his direction, he had tears streaming down his face.
“You don’t want to visit Max some more?” Robin asked as she walked towards them. He shook his head.
“I do, but everyone is excited to see her, so I don’t want to ruin that, plus I just want to be alone right now.” He said and turned to Hopper. “Can you tell her I’ll come visit again tomorrow?” He nodded before walking back towards the hospital.
“Do you want a ride too Robin?” Nancy asked and she nodded. I watched as the three walked to Nancy’s car and got in. I eventually drove home.
When I did get home, I walked into the house and looked around. My parents are still not home. They won’t be any time soon. So, I walked to my room closing the door behind me. I flopped onto my bed and stared up at the ceiling. The silence was too much. I closed my eyes and forced myself to sleep.
I opened my eyes to a dark room. The only light coming in from the bathroom. I sat up and looked at the ajar door. With a frown I watched as the door opened and out walked Eddie. What? But he’s gone? How is he in my room?
“Oh Harrington, you’re awake” he said with a beaming smile. I looked at his bright smile, and the dimples that formed on his cheeks. “Stevie, you look like you’ve seen a ghost. Did ya have a bad dream?” He asked in a soft tone. I frowned as he walked up to me and thread his fingers through my hair gently. I looked into his doe brown eyes. He’s really in front of me. But how?
“Steve? Babe, did you have a bad dream?”
A dream? Wait babe?
My eyes shot open. I sat up and looked at the door to my bathroom. The door was shut all the way and there was no light in my room. It was dark. Why did I dream that? How long was I asleep for?
“Hey are you okay?” I froze my mind still fuzzy.
“Eddie?” I asked in a whisper as I turned to the voice. I looked into Robin’s confused eyes.
“Um no. Sorry if I spooked you. I had Nancy drop me off here after Dustin. I was going to have her just take me home. But I thought about your parents not being home and figured you weren’t getting sleep because of how alone you felt. And I guess I was right cause you fell into a pretty deep sleep after I got here. You slept the entire day.” I looked down at my lap.
“Oh, uh thanks for staying Robin.” I said quietly before standing up and going to the bathroom. When I was done, I walked back into my room to find it empty. The light was on, and a change of clothes was on my bed. I shook my head with a tiny smile. I changed into the pajamas and threw my clothes into the hamper. I paused as I looked at the vest resting on the back of my chair.
"For your modesty, dude"
I picked it up and held it. I rubbed my thumb against the patch on the top corner. I gently set it back down and walked downstairs.
“I ordered some pizza and rented a movie from work.” Robin said as she pulled me to the living room.
“Nancy really drove you to family video?” I asked as she pushed me onto the couch. She put the VHS in and sat next to me, grabbing the remote. She nodded and smirked. “Also didn’t you want me to think about some stuff?” I asked looking at her. She dropped the remote on her lap and turned to me.
“Oh, did you want to talk about how you called me Eddie earlier?” She asked with a raised eyebrow. I felt my face heat up and snatched the remote from her, pressing play. Robin continued looking at me before sighing.
Why did I say Eddie’s name when I woke up? And why did I have that dream? Why can’t I get his smile, and dimples out of my head? His deep, soft eyes. His gentle touch. His soft words. Babe. What was that dream?
That heavy feeling in my chest came back. And the knot in my throat. I heard a knock on the door and stood up. “I got it.” I said as I walked towards the door with the money Robin set on the coffee table earlier. I paid the pizza guy and walked into the kitchen. Robin paused the movie then followed. I grabbed a soda for Robin and a beer for myself. She took the plates and pizza box into the living room and sat down. I followed handing her the soda. We then continued the movie.
After a while Robin fell back asleep. The movie had stopped, and I sat in silence. The only sound were Robin quiet snores. My mind drifted back to Eddie.
Ever since we buried him, he’s been on my mind. Which I wrote off as just grieving for a new friend who I lost. Until the images that flash whenever I close my eyes became his smile. I never bullied him, but I also never did anything to stop the bullying. So, I was never any better than the others. I just wish I gave him a chance sooner. Or had a chance to apologize to him while he was alive.
I started thinking about how I felt when I saw Dustin holding his lifeless body in the upside down.
It felt like something was torn out of me. Something I needed. It was hard to breathe. And the look on Dustin’s face was horrible too. He’s so young but has been through so much. Seeing Eddie’s lifeless body was probably one of the worst feelings I’ve felt. And I’ve seen and felt a lot because of the upside down.
And yet I can’t figure out why his death hurt so much.
“Steve! You need to calm down and breathe!” I heard Robin yell as she shook me slightly. I took a deep breath and looked at her. She pulled me into a hug, and I sobbed into her shoulder. I clung onto her shirt to stop my hands from shaking. When did I start crying. And why am I freaking out. “I didn’t know Eddie’s death would hit you so hard.” She said quietly.
I let out a shaky breath at his name.
“I don’t know why I’m feeling like this.” I said quietly. “Mike is right. I barley knew him. So why does it hurt so much?”
“I think I know, but I don’t think you’re ready to hear it.” I pulled back and looked at her confused.
“What do you mean?” She smiled.
“You have some stuff to figure out before we get to that, okay?” I sighed but nodded in agreement anyway. She turned to the clock. “Shit I should get home before my mom starts a search party” she said rolling her eyes. I wiped at my eyes with the back of my hand then I got up and grabbed my keys.
“Alright let’s go” I said chuckling as we walked to my car. After a while I stopped outside her house. “I’ll see you later Robin.” I said as she got out. I quickly grabbed her wrist. “Wait, uh thank you. For staying for a bit.” She smiled and nodded.
“That’s what friends are for. Now stop being all nice and shit dingus” she said snatching her arm back. I rolled my eyes but smiled as she walked to her house. After the door closed behind her, I drove away.
I drove around without paying much attention. I didn’t realize I wasn’t home until I stopped outside familiar looking woods. I realized quickly this is the area we buried Eddie.
I turned the car off and got out. The area was silent. I grabbed a flashlight from the back and began my walk through the woods. There is a portion of trees lining the trail almost in a straight line. I didn’t notice that last time. I walked until I got to the circle of trees and stopped next to the large rock. I frowned at the scratchy words.
Eddie ‘The Hero’ Munson
There were some fresh flowers and a couple pins laying next to the rock. I crouched down to look at the pins. Metallica, Iron Maiden, and Dio. I looked at the card they were attached to, it read, I thought you might like these dude, from Dustin.
Did he ride his bike all the way out here just to ‘give’ Eddie some pins?
He really is taking this hard. I’m going to have to check up on him again. I remember him asking if we could move Eddie’s body, give him a real funeral, and a better burial since his name was cleared. But I told him this is better, because we won’t have to deal with anyone trying to vandalize his grave. He didn’t like that answer but agreed it’s what was best.
I sat in silence by Eddie’s grave for a while. I looked at the watch on my wrist and saw it was 3 am now. With a sigh I decided to say something to the silent woods.
“I know I already said this the night we buried you, but I’m truly sorry. I’m sorry I wasn’t a better person to you until we went through literal hell. I just-” I cut myself of to think. “I wish I could have told you all of this in person. Not at 3 am sitting over you while you lay under an old blanket and a lot of dirt. You deserve more man.” I trailed off and looked up at the moon light as it lightly shown through the trees. I started to feel choked up again thinking about him being right here, yet so far away. I looked back down at his rock.
“Shit Eddie why’d ya do it?” I asked with a small laugh. I rested my head against my knees. “And why can’t I get you out of my head” I added in a whisper.
“Anytime I think about you I feel all choked up. And like I have something weighing down on my chest. I can barley breath just thinking about you. It’s not fair dude. I see you in my dreams for fucks sake” I said as my eyes started watering. “I think Robin knows too. I think she’s known about these feelings way longer than I have.” I paused for a bit to think.
What feelings am I even thinking of? What am I talking about?
“I feel so confused” I whispered as I hugged my knees to my chest. “I wish you were here. To help me understand what I’m feeling. Maybe if you were here, it would be easier to deal with.” I added as I felt the tears falling.
“I’m sorry I didn’t give you your vest back. I didn’t have time to get a shirt” I added laughing lightly. I soon got quiet again. I sat in silent tears for a few more minutes before slowly standing up.
“I’ll see you later man” I mumbled before walking away with one hand in my pocket and the other holding a flashlight.
When I got back in my car, I leaned against the steering wheel letting out a sob. Soon after I drove home.
The next day I picked Robin up and drove to Family Video. The ride to work was silent.
The first half of our shift was spent in silence. I watched from the stool behind the counter as Robin cashed out a customer. I continued rewinding tapes and they left. I felt her eyes on me.
“I think I fell in love with him” I said as I put the movie back in its case.
“What?” Robin asked as she walked towards me. I turned around and looked up at her. She looked concerned.
“Eddie” I whispered as I looked into her eyes. “I’m not sure exactly when I started having feelings for him. But now that he’s gone. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking the last couple of days. Especially after you said I had some stuff to figure out.” I said as I looked down at my lap.
“Steve.” She said as she rested her hand on my shoulder. I looked up as she gave me a sad look.
“I see him in my dreams Robin. Like my mind makes him look like this perfect being. And when I wake up all I can think about are his stupid dimples and curly hair. And I hate it because I’m never going to see his smile or deep brown eyes again. I have feelings for a man you gave his life for this shitty town. And we can’t even give him a proper burial.” I said as I aggressively wiped the tears away. “I also think about what it looked like as his body slowly disappeared under the dirt. Why didn’t he just run away with Dustin. Why did he have to sacrifice himself” I asked as a sob left me. I shook as I covered my face.
“Go into the back room and calm down, okay? We can talk more after the kids leave.” I looked up at the windows and saw the party walking in. I quickly stood up and walked to the back.
“Hey Robin” I heard Dustin basically yell as the door jingled.
“Hello Steve’s child friend” I rolled my eyes. I could practically hear Robin’s smirk. I looked at the security screens to see Mike, Will, Lucas, and El looking at movies and grabbing candy. “Getting stuff for Max?” Robin asked as they dropped stuff onto the counter.
“Yeah, we’re gonna have a movie marathon in her hospital room. Where’s Steve?” Dustin said as him and the others started pulling money out of their pockets.
“Right here” I said as I walked out and threw some cash on the counter.
“Haha awesome, thanks Steve” Mike said as him and the other put their money away. I rolled my eyes.
“Yeah, yeah go have fun.” Mike, Lucas, and El ran outside. I looked at Dustin and Will as they stared at me. “Um you guys, okay?” I asked confused.
“We should be asking you that.” Dustin said as he crossed his arms.
“You look sad Steve” Will added with a frown.
“I’m alright guys. Just tired, go back to the hospital and enjoy the movies and snacks” I said smacking Dustin’s had in his face and ruffling Will’s hair. Dustin smacked me and Will pulled away before they both left. Dustin paused and looked at me with a sad smile before joining his friends. I watched as they all road away on their bikes.
“I really wish we could go back to before the upside down. Those kids have been through way too much” I said as I turned to Robin. She rolled her eyes.
“So have you Steve. You always worry about everyone else. But what about you, huh?” I frowned at her.
“Sorry to break it to you Robin but there’s nothing we can do about my problem. It’s not like I can go to Eddie and tell him my feelings to see if he has the same ones. I have feelings for someone we had to secretly bury in woods, which are off limits to the public. The least I can do is put on a fake face to make sure those kids can start being happy again” I said as I grabbed the tapes that need to be put back on shelves.
After our shift I drove Robin home before making my way to my house.
Once home I went up to my room turning on the light. I sat on my bed and looked at Eddie’s vest again.
I stood up and changed into some pajamas and turned off the light. I got into bed and faced the wall. After tossing and turning for a while I sat up.
I grabbed my pillow and screamed into it. Standing up I threw it onto the bed. I walked to my chair snatching the vest.
“Get out of my fucking head” I screamed I fell onto my bed holding his vest as I sobbed. It still has a faint smell of him on it. That new knowledge made me sob harder. I laid in my bed hugging Eddie’s vest for a long time, with silent tears falling. I started breathing heavily. My hands began to sweat, and I felt my stomach twisting in knots. I eventually found myself in the kitchen leaning against the wall with the phone against my ear. I dialed Robin’s number with shaky hands.
“Hello? Steve is that you? Do you have any idea how late it is?” She asked sounding annoyed. I took a shaky breath. “Steve are you okay?”
“I’m sorry” I whispered as my voice cracked. “I’m sorry” I said again before hanging up. I slid down the wall and hugged his vest against myself as I pulled my knees against my chest.
I’m not sure how long it was before the front door was thrown open but eventually, I felt arms around me.
“God Steve, you scared me half to death” Robin said as she pulled me close.
“I’m sorry” I whispered as I looked over her shoulder. Nancy stood in the doorway holding the strap for her bag. She gave me a sad smile and I looked away, pulling Robin closer.
“Thank you for driving me Nance. I’ll stay with him for the night. And I left a note for my mom saying I was going to your house, so I hope that’s okay.” Robin said as she helped me stand up.
“Of course, if you guys need anything just give me a call” she said softly before she left. Robin took me to the couch, and we sat down.
“Steve.” She mumbled as she looked at me concerned. “What happened?” She asked gently.
“I don’t know” I answered quietly.
“I’m going to need more than an ‘I don’t know’ Steve. You called me in the middle of the night crying and all you said was I’m sorry. I found you crying on the floor. I need more than I don’t know.” She said as she glared at me.
“I can’t stop thinking about him. It’s keeping me awake. I feel like I’m losing my mind, and I don’t know what to do about it. I just want it to stop.” I said as more tears fell. I clung onto his vest and cried into Robin’s shoulder. She held me until I eventually fell asleep.
The sleepless nights and panic attacks continued for a few days.
“Steve you can’t continue like this.” Robin said as she walked into Family Video. Her mom dropped her off this time. “Dustin called me last night saying how depressed you looked at the sleep over you hosted for the kids. Which I wasn’t even invited to so that’s rude. But he’s worried about you.” I looked down at my hands fidgeting with them as Robin stared at me. “You need to find a healthy way to cope with his death Steve.” She finished as she walked to the back room to set her stuff down. I frowned before taking a deep breath.
“Any suggestions then Robin? How does someone cope with not only coming to terms with the fact they aren’t straight anymore, but also the fact that reason they figured it out was because they fell in love with a friend they had to bury. Please enlightening me on how I can cope with this.” I snapped as I flopped onto the stool.
“Don’t be mad at me Steve. You are slowly withering away, and we’re all watching with no way to help. I know grieving takes time, but you need to figure something out and help yourself.” I sighed setting my elbow on my knees and leaning into my hands. I rubbed at my eyes. “We’re just worried man” She patted my shoulder before walking away to put candy on the shelves in front of the counter.
I decided to ignore what Robin said until the end of the shift as customer began coming in.
We were about to lock up when the phone rang. I picked it up, holding it up to my ear.
“Hawkins Family Video, this is Steve, I’m sorry but we are closed. So, if you’d like to come in and rent or return a movie you will have to come back tomorrow.”
“Yeah, yeah, It’s Dustin. Me and Lucas are at the hospital I was wondering if we could get a ride home.” I sighed.
“Yeah, on the way” I said before hanging up. I looked up at Robin who had her arms crossed.
“You can say no sometimes you know. They have parents, and bikes.” I smiled at her.
“If I’m being completely honest, I like driving them sometimes. It’s a good distraction.” I replied as I locked the doors. We got into the car and drove to the hospital.
“Is it hard for you” Robin asked randomly as we pulled into the parking lot.
“Is what hard?” I asked looking at her confused after I parked.
“I mean Dustin still hasn’t sat in the back seat. Is it hard for you too, like it is for him.” Oh. She means the fact I had to lay Eddie’s dead body on my back seat. I held the steering wheel until my knuckles turned white.
“I try not to think about it. But yeah, sometimes it gets to me” I said as I gave her a small sad smile. Then I got out and we made our way to the hospital. We walked down the halls until we got closer to Max’s room.
“Is that her mom?” Robin asked as we got closer. I nodded as I walked faster.
“Are you Steve and Robin?” Her mom asked as we stopped in front of her. We both nodded. “Well Max is being discharged she said you were giving all of them a ride?” She said it as a question. I nodded again. “Well thank you for looking after her. I have a late shift so I can’t drive her home.” She said before walking away. I looked at Robin then at Max’s mom as she walked around the corner and disappeared. I shook my head then walked into Max’s room.
“Heard you get to go home kid.” I said smiling as Lucas and Dustin helped her into the wheelchair. She smiled and nodded. I noticed Will, El, and Mike were missing. “Did Joyce or Nancy pick up the other three?” I asked looking around. Dustin nodded as Lucas started pushing Max out of the room. As we made our way back to the car, I told them to figure out the seating arrangements.
“Max should sit in the front, so she has more room.” Lucas said as we stood outside the door. I noticed Max looking at Dustin.
“I’ll be okay in the back Lucas.” She said as she looked up at her boyfriend. He was about to protest.
“No, he’s right you will be more comfortable. I’ll sit in the back with Robin and Lucas.” Dustin replied although he looked a little pale.
“You really don’t have to Dustin I can sit in the back.” Max said softly. He shook his head and walked to the back door. Taking a deep breath, he got in and closed the door. I turned to Robin.
“Push him into the middle so he can have you next to him. It might help him feel calmer.” She nodded as I walked to the driver side.
“Did I miss something? Since when did Dustin have an issue with the back seat?” Lucas asked looking between the rest of us. Max rolled her eyes.
“They had to put Eddie in the back seat when they took him to be buried dumbass” Max snapped at him as she glared at him.
“What? No one told me that?” Lucas said quickly.
“Probably because non of you bothered to ask Dustin how he’s been feeling.” Max said as she was helped into the front seat. Robin told Dustin to move over and then Lucas put the wheelchair into the trunk before he got in next to Dustin. Lucas patted his shoulder.
“Do you think your mom would mind if I spent the night? I think we have some talking to do.” Lucas asked Dustin. He grinned and shook his head.
“No, she won’t mind. We can call your mom when we get to my house.” I looked at Dustin as him and Lucas fist bumped then he closed his eyes and leaned his head against the back of the seat. I dropped the boys off first and waited outside to see if Lucas still needed a ride. After about 10 minutes he walked outside and gave me a thumbs up then waved. After he went back inside, I drove away.
“Max, do you want to stay with me at my house tonight or do you want me and Robin to stay at the trailer with you?” I asked as we started driving to the trailer park.
“My mom is expecting me to be home when she gets off work.”
“Then I guess we’re having a sleep over at your house” Robin said with a smile as she leaned into the front seat. Max smiled and nodded.
As we pulled into the trailer park, I felt my hands sweating as we got closer to her trailer.
“They haven’t taken their trailer out of here yet?” Max whispered to herself, but we still heard. I took a deep breath.
“I guess not” I said with a shaky breath. I turned the car off and got out. Robin grabbed the wheelchair, and I walked around the car to the passenger side. “I’m just going to carry you in, is that okay?” I ask as I open the door. She nodded and moved so I could pick her up. I picked her up and helped her wrap her arm around my shoulder. Robin had unlocked the door and held it open. I went inside and Max pointed me to her room.
We made sure her bed was comfortable and set her down. Robin sat on the bed with her, and I sat on the floor.
“Do you guys think Dustin will be okay?” Max asked looking between us.
“I think he’s already doing a lot better. And now that Lucas finally understands he’s been going through some stuff it will probably be easier for him to cope. He has more of a support system now.” I answered.
“I mean he had you guys before, right?” Max looked between was confused.
“Not much support when Steve is having a crisis of his own every five minutes.” Robin muttered as she rolled her eyes. Max snapped her attention to me with a questioning look.
“Robin” I whined and threw my head back. “Ignore her she’s being over dramatic.”
“Um no I’m not. Steve had been having a hard time with it just as much as Dustin. He just doesn’t want to worry anyone.” Max frowned.
“Well, you have a support system too Steve. It’s okay to be upset. Especially with what Dustin told me about the night you guys buried Eddie. I mean it was right out of the upside down. I think everyone will be a little traumatized from that night. I know I am” She emphasized by holding both arms up. I chucked as she waved the casts around a little. “All I’m saying is, it’s okay to let your emotions out Steve. No one is going to judge you for coping with this loss.”
“I mean Mike Wheeler had some shit to say” I said as I rolled my eyes.
“Yeah, well Mike doesn’t matter he’s annoying anyway.” Robin busted out laughing as Max smirked. I shook my head and laughed myself. We continued talking for a while until the girls started whispering to each other. I got up quietly and let them have some time. I went and laid on the couch to try and get some sleep.
I opened my eyes to see it was a lot darker out. I sat up and looked down the hall towards Max’s room. I quietly walked back to see them both sleeping. Robin was laying on the bed next to Max. She was smashed against the wall while Max was on her back both arms laying on pillows. I smiled softly and walked back to the living room. I sat on the couch staring at the ceiling for a few minutes before I started to fidget. I flung around and looked out the window that was right above the couch. Eddie’s old trailer right across the street. I sat back down, tapping on my knee.
Did they ever let Mr. Munson back in there? Is all of Eddie’s stuff still in his room? I stopped tapping and threw my head back.
“Dammit” I muttered before quietly leaving the trailer. I ran across the street. And to Eddie’s trailer. I mean there’s no way they left it unlocked right?
I walked up the stairs and my hand hovered over the handle. Taking a deep breath, I opened the door. “Wow they really didn’t lock this” I said and shook my head. I walked in and wiped the sweat from my hands on my pants. “I shouldn’t be here.” I stood in the living room looking around. I looked up at the ceiling where the gate is. Or was.
“It’s gone” I muttered to myself. I then turned towards the hallway that leads to Eddie’s room. “Okay, just go look to see if his uncle got his stuff and you can leave. That’s the only reason you came here.” I said to myself before walking back there. His door was open slightly, so I took a shaky breath before slowly pushing it open. My jaw dropped slightly to see his stuff still there.
“They wouldn’t let Mr. Munson come back.” That has to be why all of this is still here. There were posters on the walls. Clothes on the floor and in a hamper. Some hanging up and some sticking out of a dresser. His guitar was sitting in the corner. He has a pile of cassettes on his bed. Still looks the same from when Nancy was attacked by Vecna. I started thinking about when Robin told me what happened while I was trying to get to Nancy.
“Music, we need music”
“This is music!”
I picked up the iron maiden cassette he apparently held up when he yelled that at Robin. I smiled thinking about how mad he was about it. I looked through the different bands before looking for his Walkman. After I found it, I sat on his bed and began listening some of the music. After skipping a lot and changing cassettes I realized I truly hated this music.
“He would definitely yell at me if I told him how much I don’t like this” I said with a chuckle. I set the headphones down and looked around some more. I stopped at the clothes that were hanging up. I saw a Hellfire Club shirt and took it off the hanger. Holding it and studying the front. Robin is never going to let me live this down.
I threw the shirt onto my shoulder and continued looking around. I paused at some pictures on the dresser. There were some of Eddie and his uncle. I continued looking through them and stopped at one of him and Dustin. Then another with Dustin, Mike, and Lucas. I grabbed those and the ones with Eddie and his uncle. I slipped them into my pocket. I go back to bed grabbing the Walkman and a bunch of the tapes. I then walked back to his bed and grabbed all of his music.
I made my way out of his room and back to the door. I paused and looked at the ceiling. Then at the floor where Dustin held Eddie before we left. I walked out before the panic set in. I put all of it in my car and made my way back to Max’s.
“Did you just go to Eddie’s trailer?” I jumped as I walked in and looked at the couch.
“Jesus, Robin.” I snapped at glared at her. She glared back and pulled me onto the couch.
“What the hell were you doing?” She asked as she slapped me on the back of the head. I rubbed it and glared at her again.
“Ow! You wanted me to cope, well I’m coping and working in getting closure.” I snapped.
“So, you steel his music and a t-shirt.” I pulled the pictures out.
“And pictures for his uncle and the boys.” I said and scratched the back of my neck. She looked through the picture and stopped on the one with him and Dustin.
“Steve you’re going to break him.” Robin said and looked at me with an annoyed look.
“He’s going to love it, Robin.” I said rolling my eyes after I snatch it back and put it in my pocket.
“Are you sure this is what you want to do?” I looked at her with a frown then shrugged.
“I don’t know what I want to do Robin. I just know I miss him.” I said softly and curled in on myself. She sighed then pulled me into a hug.
“I know dude” She whispered.
“Did you like him?” We both jumped and looked towards Max’s room. We looked at each other then walked to Max’s room. “Eddie, did you like him. Is that why all of this bothers you so much?” I frowned at Max as she smirked.
“I didn’t realize I had feelings for him until after he died.” I answered as I sat on the floor by her bed. Robin laid back against the wall.
“Wow that has to suck, I’m sorry Steve” She replied sadly. I smiled at her.
“Its okay Max. it just means I have some extra shit to work through.”
“Now please tell me you guys didn’t pull an all nighter?” We all looked at the door.
“Mom you’re home? And no, we didn’t.” Max said smiling at her mom.
“That’s good you need rest honey.” Max rolled her eyes but still smiled at her mom. “Thank you both for looking over her for me, I really appreciate it. You guys can stay the rest of the night if you want.” I stood up and gestured for Robin to follow.
“Its no problem Ms. Mayfield, and that’s alright I should take Robin home anyway her mom doesn’t know she’s out.” I said smiling towards her.
“Crap you’re right.” Robin said as she quickly gave Max a hug and then grabbed her shoes. I shook my head.
“I uh left my phone number written by the phone so you can call me if you or Max need anything. If I don’t answer I’m either at work or driving the other kids somewhere.” I said chuckling and scratching the back of my neck.
“Thank you honey, I’ll keep that in mind. Get home safe you two.” She said as she walked to Max and sat next to her. I followed Robin out the door. She ran to the car and got in. As I sat down, she looked at me.
“You took a hellfire shirt?” I looked down at her hands to see Eddie’s shirt. I felt my face heat up as I pulled away from Max’s.
“Shut up.” I mumbled and drove away. I dropped Robin off and made sure she snuck into her room okay before driving back to my house.
Once in my room I got changed into pajamas bottoms and I froze while putting on my shirt. I looked at the hellfire shirt. Throwing my shirt on to my bed I picked up Eddie’s. I then slipped it over my head and pulled it on. It smells like him.
I slept well for the rest of the night.
I woke up the next day to the phone ringing downstairs. I looked at the clock on my nightstand. Shit! I’m gonna be late for work. I quickly changed my pants and put on socks before putting my shoes on, grabbing my work vest, and running out the door. I drove to Family Video quickly.
Running inside and putting my vest on as I did.
“Nice of you to finally show up. I’ve been calling you all morning” Robin glared as I walked around the counter. “You’re lucky my mom could drive me.”
“I’m sorry I slept in this morning. I don’t even know how. I just feel rested today.” I said looking at her. “What?” I asked as I saw her staring at me wide eyed.
“Did you mean to wear that shirt today?” I looked at her confused. I looked down and saw I still had on Eddie’s shirt.
“Shit, I forgot to change my shirt.”
“Forgot to ch- did you sleep good last night because you were wearing that shirt?” She asked loudly. Then apologized to the few customers who were in the store.
“I-I think I did” I said before covering my face.
“Well, you better find a way to hide it. Because three of the members of that club are about to walk in. I spun around to see the party, minus Max, walking towards the door.
“Shit they’re probably going to Max’s.” I said as I frantically buttoned the vest. They walked in and Mike was telling everyone to go separate ways go find everything they needed. Mike, Lucas, and Dustin were about to split up, but they all froze when they looked at me.
“Where did you get that shirt?” Lucas asked as he pointed at me. I looked down. Most of it was covered but you can still see small details. I shrugged.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about” I said as I started to feel panic.
“That’s a Hellfire shirt.” Mike said as he also pointed.
“Is that Eddie’s?” Dustin asked and he does not look amused. I started stuttering trying to explain.
“Eddie’s uncle gave it to him. Told him it might help him with coping.” Robin said quickly. I nodded and pointed at Robin.
“Yeah, that.” I said quickly and smiled nervously.
“Cope with the death of someone you barley knew?” Mike asked. My face dropped as he said it. Robin glared at him and Lucas and Dustin both rolled their eyes.
“Listen, Mike, while you were in California with your girlfriend and our best friend. The rest of us were here fighting for our lives to protect ourselves and Eddie. Steve and Eddie got close during that time.” Dustin snapped as he shoved him lightly.
“Dude we were being chased by the Military. We were fighting for our lives too. Alright I’m sorry you got close with Eddie my bad.” He said as he held his hands up before walking away. I sighed as Dustin and Lucas also left.
“Thanks Robin.” I said looking at her.
“Yeah whatever, you better actually start coping though. Cause stealing a bunch of stuff from a dead person is not it Harrington.” She said as she walked to the counter to cash out the kid’s stuff.
I looked down at my hands. “I know. I’ll figure something out.” I whispered as I started fidgeting with my hands.
Robin ignored me for the rest of the shift. And the ride to her house.
“Call me if you need anything, alright?” She said as she got out. I nodded and watched as she went inside closed the door behind her.
I sat in more silence as I drove home. After taking my work vest off, I stood in front of the mirror staring at the hellfire shirt.
How would Eddie feel if he saw me wearing his shirt? Would he have been annoyed, of would he have enjoyed it?
I pull at the sleeves, pulling them over my hands. I felt that heaviness in my chest again, so I closed my eyes to calm down.
Images of Eddie flashed in my mind. He’s smiling.
“I never thought someone could look so good in a shirt as much as you do Stevie” Eddie said as he stood behind me, wrapping his arms around me.
My eyes snapped open. Great now I’m imagining things. Things that never happened or will never happen.
I looked at myself in the mirror again. Tears streamed down my face as my hands shook. I snatched Eddie’s vest off my chair before running down the stairs. I got in the car and drove. I drove until I got to the woods.
The sun was still out so I just closed the door and began walking through the woods.
I held the vest in my hand tightly as I walked quickly towards Eddie. Once I got to his grave, I threw the vest down.
“Is this what you wanted? Huh Eddie. You upset I didn’t bury you with your vest, so you decide to haunt my every thought?” I yelled as I kicked the vest towards the rock. “Get out of my head dammit. You’re fucking gone. So why can’t you just leave me alone. What do you want from me?” I yelled more as I kicked the dirt. Tears were falling fast now, and I was gasping for air. Sobs tore from me as I fell to my knees.
“Why did you do it? Why couldn’t you just climb through the gate and go with Dustin? Why couldn’t you be a coward one last time huh? Why did you leave me.” I whispered the end as I leaned my forehead against the ground. I took deep breaths before sitting up again.
“I hate you, Eddie Munson. I hate you for playing hero. I hate you being gone. I hate you so much because you’re not here. But yet you are because you’re all I can think about since I had to bury you. I hate you Eddie Munson, so much. And I hate that I can’t actually hate you. Because I fell in love with you.” I ended in a soft tone. My throat hurt from yelling. I let out a shaky sigh.
“There I said it. I’m in love with you Eddie and there’s absolutely nothing I can do. Because you left. You’re gone and the only thing I have left is this dirty vest and the shirt I stole.” I said as I grabbed the vest from the ground and held it in my lap.
“I just want to see your smile again. And not in my dreams or the fake images my brain plays.” I said as I let more tears fall.
“I want to hear your laugh and hear you call me Stevie. Why did you have to go.” I sobbed as I brought the vest to my face. I fell against the ground. My head close to the rock. Close to where Eddie’s head would be. I curled into a ball hugging the vest tightly. I shook as the tears flowed.
“Eddie. Please come back.” I whispered as I cried harder.
Eventually the tears stopped. And I laid staring at the tree in front of me. Taking tiny gasps to get the air back in my lungs. I sighed and curled in on myself more.
After a few more minutes I turned to lay on my back. I looked up at the gaps of sunlight coming down through the trees. Holding the vest to my chest I sat up. I pulled it over my shoulders and then tightly to my chest before laying back down.
I ran my fingers over the jagged letters that spelled his name on the rock.
“Eddie ‘The Hero’ Munson” I whispered. I let my hand stay there as my eyes started to feel heavy. I soon let my hand fall, then my head fell against my hand and I looked at the trees in front of me.
As my eyes closed and I drifted to sleep, I let out another shaky breath and squeezed the vest in my other hand.
“I love you Eddie, and I miss you more than anything.”
end.