Work Text:
There has been a dull throbbing in Occeus' skull for the past few wices now, accompanied by sudden black blots in his vision that came and went as they pleased. It's only been getting worse. Painkillers weren't helping, so he simply attempted to stifle it as he did with his unwanted eye. Today, however, is the worst the pain has been so far.
Occeus woke up at what he thought to be the crack of dusk and slumped out of his recuperacoon. Every movement seemed to have an added weight to it as if the metaphorical weight he felt on his shoulders had manifested itself. He walked over to the mirror to get ready for the day, brushing his teeth and washing his face, catching glimpses of himself in the mirror. Eye aside, he hadn't looked healthy in a long while, the arduous work weeks and lack of sleep were beginning to catch up with him it seemed. After finishing up and getting dressed, he began turning all of his lights on, only to spot the nearest window and walk over to it for a closer look. His eyes widened as he spotted the moon at a higher point in the sky than he'd like to admit. Quickly checking the time, a panic arose in him that he attempted to stifle. Already so late in the day and he had an entire itinerary to attend to.
After a few hours Occeus had chugged through a good portion of testing and the like. Only to hear a knock at the door. Pondering who it could be, he suddenly remembered. His beloved matesprit was going to visit today, and he had completely forgotten. Before attending to the door, he clumsily organized the papers on the desk and ran his fingers through his messy hair in a vain attempt to appear presentable. He curtly walked over to the door to open it, the moment it gave way the somewhat shorter troll essentially busted through and wrapped her arms around Occeus.
"OCCEUS!!"
Occeus stiffened at the sudden contact, caught off guard, he didn't hug back.
"I'm so glad to see you!!"
"I am glad to see you too."
Noticing his apparent stiffness, she let go of the embrace.
"Right, sorry."
"It is quite alright, you simply caught me off guard, that is all."
A few black blots formed in Occeus' eye.
"I am very sorry, you've caught me at an inopportune time and if you could allow me to clean up a bit it would be very appreciated. You can sit wherever you please."
"Of course! Of course."
Occeus took a moment to breathe as Ellsee went over to a padded stool near a table with some vials on it. Unlike some prior visits, this one was not made with a transaction in mind, Ellsee had wanted to see him again for a while now, and it's been long enough to where the feeling of withdrawal had slowly begun to set in on him too.
While cleaning up some scraps off of tables he spotted a specific vial, filled with the blood of his matesprit.
The blots were becoming more apparent, blurring his vision.
The guilt had been creeping up on him for a while now. His noble pursuit for immortality was clouded by the crushing feeling he had been merely using his beloved. He could tell she hasn't been feeling well lately, unwanted, perhaps. They both had a knack for that, it seemed. Not saying what they felt.
He could barely see at this point, his vision was going black. It felt like he was being enveloped in…something. He fell onto the floor.
"Occeus!"
Ellsee yelled as she ran over to his side, carefully putting a hand on his back.
"Are you okay?"
His hard back was trembling against her gentle touch, cold as ice. He muttered something.
"Please..get....away…"
"What?"
"I said…stay AWAY!"
His soft voice raised to a threatening scream as he began to close in on himself. Wrapping himself in a shivering hug so tight his arms could be seen behind his back. A thick, smoke-like substance was enveloping him from head to toe..was…was he getting bigger?
Ellsee jumped back in shock at the sudden outburst. Occeus slowly began to rise up, nearly unrecognizable in this state. His eyes glazed over with a searing purple, his third eye on full display.
"What's happening to you?!" She pleaded.
Occeus tried to speak, but when he opened his mouth, incomprehensible noises were all that would escape him. He tried over and over until the frustration got to what was left of him. The smoke was slowly enveloping the entire lab and it was getting harder to breathe.
Ellsee slowly approached him, the mass of smoke he was becoming getting bigger and bigger, she attempted to give him a hug. He didn't hug back.
"Please! I don't know what's happening but I need you to be okay! Please..it's going to be okay!" She squeezed harder. "I love you!"
Occeus let out a scream that could crack the walls, the smoke completely enveloped the lab and in a flash, she was out cold.
____________
Ellsee woke up in a place unfamiliar to her, walls, floor, and ceiling covered in a pungent black substance, the air coated with dust. She shakily got up and tried to observe her surroundings further, the walls and floor would be nearly indistinguishable from each other if it weren't for the occasional faded purple highlight lining the cracks.
There was only one way to go from here, a long winding hallway in front of her, and she had a lot of walking to do. It was simple enough at first, just her and the hallway, but the further she went, the more weighted she felt, and she began to notice wooden framed paintings on the wall. They had a peculiar look to them, as if they had been allowed to decay over time, unprotected. She took a closer look at one of them, it was ripping slightly. Was that Occeus and…Calder? Eugh. Though, personal distaste for the seadweller herself, she can't ignore the fact that the two were pale for a time. She spotted another, smaller painting. Occeus and Taz, it appeared. Were these…his memories? With this revelation now made, she felt fifty percent more uncomfortable with viewing these, yet the other fifty percent wanted to know what the mind of her matesprit hid away from her, locked in an iron cage. The part of her that respected Occeus' privacy won, and she continued the trek, doing her best to not take note of the paintings sprawling around her.
The further she went into this abyss, the closer the walls began to feel. It was getting rather claustrophobic, she had to stop to rest. Drifting to sleep was easier than she'd thought, as if the cold embrace of the hallway was inviting her to something homely. She was out like a light.
The dream was cold and empty. Nothing ahead or behind her, completely black. She didn't feel like walking so she simply stayed put. As she closed her eyes once more, she began to hear whispers.
"I can't keep this up."
"What if she's unhappy?"
"What if she hates me?"
"I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry."
They were in the voice of her beloved, yet it seemed this dream had a twinge of reality to it. It seemed the supposed mindscape she was trapped in had pryed its way into her as well. The whispers continued, before eventually degrading into stifled sobs. She didn't enjoy hearing this. She didn't want to hear this. Clenching her eyes tighter until pain buzzed in her head, and with that, she woke up.
Ellsee had awoken in a different spot than where she had slept, it was concerning, but now was not the time. She looked to her left, it seemed the hallway had stopped bearing down on her, that was nice. She looked ahead, a light at the end of the tunnel! Maybe she could finally get out of here! She ran towards it, only to arrive in a room coated in a golden glow, its appearance was similar to the lab's walls, there were paintings in here, perfectly intact. There was one thing she noticed. All of these contained herself, was he...protecting these? Before she had time to be flattered, the ground began to rumble beneath her sandals, looking behind her, the substance that coated the area in the previous hallway dashed into this sanctuary, instantly coating everything around it in the black fog. Something began to swirl in front of her as the entrance behind her was sealed shut, she slowly took steps back as black fog swirled in front of her, eventually forming the beast Occeus had become, now more imposing than before.
Now that it wasn't in the middle of its growth, Ellsee could get a decent look at him. He was animalistic in appearance, yet formless all the same, barely resembling the troll she'd loved, purple eyes coated his entire being, his mouth hidden unless growling. Before she could see it coming, he slammed his hand down right next to her. So it was still hostile, it seemed. She swiftly dodged as he let out a guttural scream. Occeus' movements and attack patterns were messy and uncalculated, hacking and slashing without cause, reason, and forethought. While it wasn't hard to jump out of the way, the situation itself was still stressful. She was trying to think of a way to pacify his rage, something, anything . To help him. Though this was an ill-timed attempt to do so, Ellsee had dodged one of his slashes later than she would've liked, and one of his claws had grazed her cheek, merely a flesh-wound, but she winced in pain, holding her cheek. As she did this, she noticed Occeus pause, the eyes almost taking on a shocked expression. She took this opportunity to charge towards it, wrapping her arms around what she could and squeezing as hard as she could.
"Occeus! I know you're in there, I need you to hear me!"
No reaction, she took it as a sign to keep going.
"I don't know what you've been going through, and I won't pretend to- but what I do know is that you need help. Badly. I've heard them, the whispers you tell yourself. I need you to know that none of that is true. I don't hate you, and I don't think I ever could. I haven't been feeling the best lately, that's true, but…it feels like that always goes away when I'm near you. You're amazing, Occeus, and I need to be able to give you the same peace of mind when I'm around. You can always talk to me, and I need you to know that. I need you to be able to open up before everything swirling around in that head of yours eats you from the inside out. I know the world's at stake, I know what you do is important, but it's important to rest, to talk . I…I love you, so, so much Occeus. I'm always here for you, and I need you to know that."
It felt good to say that. Really, really good. She just hoped it would reach him. After her speech had subsided, she watched as the smoke she was embracing slowly dissipated into thin air, and the substance beneath her feet began to disappear as well. In the center of the room she then saw Occeus, trapped in an iron cage, huddled in a corner, crying to himself.
Ellsee walked towards the cage and opened the door. Walking inside and next to Occeus, she held her hand out.
"Hey."
He looked up at her, cheeks stained with tears shed long ago and eyes ridden with guilt. "Hello." He replied, voice barely above a whisper. He grabbed her hand and followed her outside of the cage. After a few moments, he spoke once more.
"I am so, so sorry. I don't know what to say, I-"
He was swiftly cut off by Ellsee giving him a tight hug.
"You don't have to apologize for anything. I just need you to know I'm there for you, always."
The area around them began to crumble away, leaving them back in the lab. The nightmare was over.
Ellsee hugged tighter, and Occeus hugged back.