Chapter Text
How It Started:
"Hey Petey, let's go on a date."
Peter turned from where he was chained to the wall in the nondescript dungeon where they were being kept.
"SERIOUSLY?"
"Yeah! It'll be fun. Funner than dungeons and torture anyways. Unless you're into that kind of thing. Wait! Dont answer that. I wanna be surprised."
Spiderman let out a long sigh. "I guess I've held out long enough. Sure, Wade."
"Really?!??! YES!"
[Oh please, not this again. Can't you just give up?]
(Petey DOES have a nice butt.)
[...That we'll never see. Not that it matters, he's clearly not interested, he's just pitying you. We don't need that.]
(PFFBBBBTHHHH.)
[Very mature.]
"Shut up!" Deadpool hit his head against the wall and groaned. He mumbled to himself "I don't CARE if you don't like him, I DO and I'd appreciate some support for once."
"Wait, your boxes don't like me?" Wade turned to Peter, who looked as hurt as he possibly could through a spandex mask.
"No no babyboy, they don't DISLIKE you!" he tried to comfort the vigilante. "They just haven't really warmed up to you yet. Give 'em time!"
[Not likely. He'll run before we ever get the chance.]
(Shhh! You'll ruin our chances at dat ass!)
"Shut UP white! You don't know that he'll leave. Why do you alw-"
"Wade." The Mercenary turned to look at his friend. "It's fine. I'll just have to charm them like I charmed you."
By the time they broke free from their captors and went out for tacos, Peter was the only one of the four still thinking about that conversation.
------------------------
How it Escalated:
"Hey Wade." Deadpool turned from his place on the rooftop ledge to see Spiderman holding up two bags of takeout. "You hungry?"
"Baby Boy, you DO care!" Wade pranced over to the young vigilante and swiped the bag out of his hands, pulling him down to sit on the gravel.
Peter scoffed and opened his bag of food. "Well, you paid for dinner last time. Only fair, right?"
[Wade, at least thank him for the food. Jesus, this is why you have no friends.]
(Hey! Spidey's MORE than our friend! We might even get to touch his butt if we play our cards right~)
"Shut up you guys, I got this." Wade mumbled, and then turned to Spiderman. "Hey, thanks Pete."
Peter had pulled up his mask to his nose to eat, but wasn't eating. Instead he was looking at Wade with a strange, almost expectant expression.
"...What, do I have something on my face?"
[Oh great, you slob. You haven't even eaten yet.]
(Ahh! Spidey's so cute~~ Can we touch his butt yet?)
"Ah, no... no." Peter shook his head "I just.. is that okay?" he said, gesturing at the food.
Wade stared at Peter in confusion for a moment before looking down into the bag. There seemed to be three seperate meals inside, each of different national origins.
[Hey, is that Chinese?]
(Ooh! Chimichangas! Tacos! Wade, he got us our favorite tacos!)
[YOUR favorite, you mean... And mine. Huh.]
"Aw Petey, this is great! Even the boxes are happy."
Wade munched on his food, oblivious to the pleased blush that spread across his partners face.
"Good."