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When Mona first reads Ganyu's fate, it's both beautiful and terrifying at the same time.
She sees the rise of a nation, the beginning of a golden era. A god sits on a mountain overlooking the city, polishing their weapon as they gaze down at the people whispering their name in worship below. Their eyes glow with a fire more intense than anything Mona's ever seen before, and she feels Ganyu's devotion, her trust, her unwavering loyalty towards them coursing through her veins, white hot.
She sees the end of a war. There's a chosen archon, a fallen goddess, and a broken, golden-winged soldier. But there's still much work to be done, and Ganyu throws herself into its midst without a second thought, pouring her heart and soul into the world her archon strived to create.
In the center of it all, pulsing like some sort of grotesque heart, Mona finds what she's looking for. A tear, like a gaping wound, in the fabric of Ganyu's fate, a deadly curse that stretches back to the days of the Archon War. It saps at her strength, eating away at her life force, leaving her weak and bedridden for days on end.
It's no use, the stars whisper. Ganyu is destined to die. But Mona already knows that. She doesn't need the stars to know that what Ganyu has is incurable.
With a small sigh, she puts away her scryglass and looks up, locking gazes with the girl sitting across the table from her, who also happens to be the sole reason Mona read Ganyu's fate.
"Well?" Keqing tugs at her traveler's cloak, fidgeting slightly in her seat. "What's wrong with her? What do I need to do to cure it?"
Keqing. Mona has heard many, many things about Keqing of the Liyue Qixing. She's their beloved Yuheng. She's sharp. She's shrewd. She's concise and to the point. She once tried to destroy her vision because she saw it as a seal of approval from the gods.
And she's stubborn. Oh, she is stubborn.
But at the end of the day, all that Mona sees before her is just a simple girl, one who is desperate to save her lover, going so far as to sweep into Mondstadt in a disguise and almost demolish her door in an attempt to get her to determine Ganyu's future.
"Regrettably," she says softly, resting her chin on her hand. "She can't be saved. The curse is a terminal one, something she's been suffering from since the times of the Archon War. I'm very sorry, but there's nothing I can do."
Keqing stares at her for a moment, shock flitting across her face, before her expression hardens. Her knuckles whiten as she grips the edge of the table, taking a deep, shuddering breath as if to calm herself.
When she speaks, though, her voice is steady and defiant.
"No. No, you're wrong. The stars aren't absolute, are they? There's always a way, if you're willing to put in the effort to look for it."
The astrologist sighs. This, she thinks, is what always happens. I shouldn't really be surprised.
"Did you not understand a word I said?"
She leans over, bracing both hands against either side of the other woman's chair and stares her down. "Your struggles are in vain. Ganyu is destined to die. You cannot change what is set in stone."
Instead of backing down, Keqing meets her gaze head on, amethyst eyes blazing.
"And who are you to decide that?" She asks, quiet but dangerous.
Mona opens her mouth, about to retort that no mere mortal has the ability or prowess to alter the course of a star, much less dictate one, but the look on Keqing's face startles her into silence.
Oh, she thinks. Oh.
Keqing's eyes smolder with the same intense fire the Geo archon's did back in Ganyu's memories.
And with one last defiant look, Keqing rises from her seat, nods curtly, and marches out of the room, her light purple hair whipping out of sight.
Perhaps it's this strange determination that somehow draws Mona to Keqing. People who assume they can fight the flow of fate are no strangers to her, and yet Keqing is the only one who states it with so much conviction that Mona almost believes it to be possible.
She begins to frequent trips to Liyue Harbor, hoping to catch the Yuheng on one of her free days, and even accompanies her on trips to Jueyun Karst to scour the mountaintops for medicinal herbs for Ganyu's ailment.
"Your stubbornness," Mona tells Keqing one night, when they're huddled together by a campfire in the dead of night. "Is rather admirable. Has anyone ever told you that?"
Keqing twists the stem of a qixing flower around her fingers, her formerly preoccupied expression softening a little when she hears this.
"Oh, I hear that often enough." A exhale of a laugh escapes her lips. "I hope you meant that as a compliment, Megistus."
"I did," Mona reassures her, grinning. "That's what makes you so interesting, after all. But I must ask - do you truly believe that you can fight the flow of destiny, or even the will of the gods?"
There's a long pause, during which Keqing absentmindedly threads the qixing flower through the strands of Mona's hair. Finally, she glances up at her, an uncharacteristically sad look on her face.
"I sometimes think I'm naive." The Yuheng rubs a hand over her face, exhaling slowly. "There are times when I think that I'm a fool to believe that I can be on par with Rex Lapis."
"But?"
"But," Keqing muses. "Why are you so certain there's a but to this?"
"Isn't there?"
Keqing gazes at the sky, the stars reflected in her eyes. "I just think," she says slowly, mulling her answer over. "That there are some things the stars don't see. Possibilities that the stars never accounted for. The chances may be slim, but they're there all the same."
Mona raises an eyebrow. "You'd doubt the stars, but not your own judgement?"
"If I don't trust in even myself, what can I trust in?"
Mona falls silent after this, processing Keqing's answer. She's no stranger to people who think they can fight fate - her adventurer friend in Mondstadt is one of them. Once, she thought them to be foolish, blindly going against the will of destiny like that. But Keqing is the only one who says it with so much conviction that Mona almost believes her. She still remembers that day they met, when Keqing stared at her with those firey eyes, so much like the god in Ganyu's memories.
Mona doesn't believe in changing fate. It's futile. It's a waste of everyone's time. It always ends in tears.
But if there's anyone who could, Mona thinks it would be Keqing.
The Yuheng is, after all, one of the most exceptional women she's ever met.
As if sensing that she's being scrutinized, Keqing glances sideways at Mona, one eyebrow quirking upwards.
"What?"
"Nothing." Mona tilts her head away, trying to hide her smile, but to no avail. The Yuheng pouts a little.
"You're making fun of me," she complains, prodding Mona's side. "You still think I'm a fool for thinking that."
"No, no, you misunderstand." She's fully grinning now, batting away Keqing's hand with a giggle. "I do believe that going against the flow of fate is futile. But somehow, you make it seem like something beautiful. And who am I to tell you, someone destined for greatness, what to do?"
Now it's Keqing's turn to stare. "Am I, now?" She murmurs, voice full of childlike wonder. "Is this so-called greatness of mine another something you've glimpsed in your scryglass?"
Mona looks down at the girl in her lap, the warm glow from the fire bathing her in golden light.
"I don't need do a reading to know that you're exceptional, Lady Keqing."
Ganyu's ailment gets worse.
There are wild herbs strewn all over Keqing's house now. Wilted qingxin petals and crushed mint stems wedge themselves into the cracks between the wooden floorboards, and shredded violetgrass buds cover the kitchen table like fine purple confetti.
More often than once, Mona enters the Yuheng's residence to find her on her knees, fingernails digging into her scalp, a wild, distraught look in her eyes.
"Mona," she whispers, as the other girl cradles her shivering body in her arms. "What am I not doing enough? Why am I so incompetent? I say I'll pave the path of my own destiny with my bare hands but really, what can I do if I can't save Ganyu?"
Mona doesn't know what to say. Now is not the time to remind Keqing that Ganyu is destined for death as surely as she is destined for greatness, and defying fate will get her nowhere.
So instead, she strokes Keqing's hair and murmurs soft words of comfort into her ear.
"You're far from incompetent, Keqing," she whispers. "You're one of the bravest girls I've ever known."
The Yuheng lifts her head, tears clinging to her eyelashes. "I just... I feel so helpless, Mona."
Her voice breaks off in a sob, and Mona feels her heart shatter.
"All heroes lose their way," she says. "But they always find their way back, and you will, too."
And when Keqing buries her face into the crook of Mona's neck and finally, finally breaks down, Mona holds her close, a tear of her own tracing it's way down her cheek.
It's a few months before Keqing lets Mona visit Ganyu. And when she does, it's because Ganyu requests a meeting.
When Mona pushes open the doors, she's not sure what to expect. A dark room, plagued with the scent of sickness and a dying adeptus?
Instead, Ganyu's room is bright. She lies on a soft bed, her blue hair spread out around her head like a halo. As Mona enters, her eyes flicker open and fix on her.
"Ah." Ganyu tries to raise a hand to wave, but winces in pain. "H.. hello, Miss Megistus. I'm glad you could make it. "
Every word of hers is punctured by a heavy wheeze, like she's short of breath. It physically hurts to listen to.
Mona shuts the door behind her, adverting her gaze. "Just Mona is fine, Lady Ganyu."
It feels strange, standing in the presence of Keqing's lover, who also happens to be one of the most powerful beings in all of Liyue. There's an ancient sort of hurt in her eyes, left there by whatever curse eats away at her soul, suppressed agony that not even the strongest of painkillers can numb.
Suddenly, Mona wants to scream.
"Mona, then." Ganyu's voice jerks her out if her thoughts. "I wish we could've met under... better circumstances, but.... well, as you can see...." She gestures vaguely at herself, smiling wryly.
"It's still quite an honor to meet you." As if in a trance, Mona steps towards Ganyu's bedside. "Why did you want to see me?"
A few steps away, Ganyu lifts a handkerchief to her mouth and breaks into a series of hacking coughs that make her body shudder violently. Mona rushes forwards, placing a steadying hand on her back.
When she removes her cloth, it's stained scarlet.
Instinctively, Mona flinches, but Ganyu just calmly wads up the handkerchief and places it on her nightstand.
"I have a request," she croaks, her voice rough and hoarse. "Will you grant it?"
Silently, Mona nods. She doesn't trust herself to speak. If she does, she feels as if she'll fall to pieces.
With trembling fingers, the adeptus reaches out and clasps Mona's hand in hers.
"Tell Keqing to let this crusade go," she whispers, softer than the faintest breeze. "And me, along with it. I've accepted my fate, and maybe she should, too."
Mona lowers her head. Ganyu looks so frail and weak, so far from the deity she's supposed to be. Once upon a time, she had hoped to witness the passing of a non-mortal, curious as to what they would look like on the brink of death.
But not like this. Gods, not like this.
"She won't listen." Mona almost spits out the words, bitter and riddled with remorse. "She won't listen, because she never goes down without a fight. And when you inevitably pass away, she'll forever be left wondering about what might've been."
To her surprise, the corners of Ganyu's mouth tilt into a faint smile.
"Mhm. That stubbornness of hers... It's really something, isn't it?"
"It's beautiful." Mona doesn't think she's capable of sounding this defeated, but she does. "It's one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen."
Ganyu sighs, a sound somewhere between a whisper and a sigh escaping her lips. She beckons Mona closer, lifting her head slightly off the pillow to whisper in her ear:
"You have a good heart, you know. If I may be so bold as to ask for one last favor.... Watch over Keqing for me, okay? Now, and after I pass?"
Slowly, Mona lifts the adeptus' hand to her lips and presses a kiss to her fingertips.
"Of course," she breathes, a solemn oath. "Of course."
So Mona stays.
She's there when Keqing almost picks the mountains of Liyue clean of qingxin flowers, her fingers clawing at the dirt with some sort of vindictive fury, eyes blazing with anger at both the world and herself for not being able to ever do enough.
She's there at Keqing's side when Ganyu's eyes finally, finally flutter shut, and the universe lets out a collective sigh, mourning the loss of a brave warrior. Keqing breaks down once again, sobbing into Mona's shoulder, and she can do nothing but wrap her arms around her and hold her close, fighting back tears of her own.
She's there at Ganyu's funeral, a grim and somber occasion. Keqing doesn't attend - she hasn't left her bed in days, but Mona spots other figures among the crowd: the director of the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor, officiating the ceremony, a pink-haired lawyer, standing at the edge of the crowd, a oddly blank expression on her face, and the Tianqian of the Liyue Qixing herself, all coming to pay their respects.
It takes some persuasion, but Mona finally coaxes Keqing out of her home and takes her to the meadow where Ganyu was laid to rest, sleeping peacefully under a field of glaze lilies.
She's there when her friend stops crying and begins returning to her normal daily routine, the old Keqing Mona's most familiar with coming back bit by bit. Even so, grief never leaves its victims unscathed. It takes away the glimmer in Keqing's eyes, embeds itself into the tightness of her smiles, and puts a slight crease between her eyebrows that never really goes away.
Mona's familiar with clients that are tainted with loss - it's part of her job to see the unpleasant things in one's future, and never to lie about what's ahead.
Still, her heart breaks every time she sees the look in Keqing's eyes, what was once a flame that burned as brightly and intensely as the one in the geo archon's eyes now reduced to a dull ache fueled by anger and sorrow.
But what can she do? She of all people knows that there's no changing fate.
So Mona just stays, stays by Keqing's side on restless nights when the latter wakes in a cold sweat, plagued by dreams of a blue-haired adeptus, and holds her hand, swearing she'll never let go.
Despite her being a genius, Mona cannot pinpoint the exact time and place she falls in love with Keqing.
It could be when they were huddled together under the starry night skies of Jueyun Karst with their fingers intertwined, and Mona sees the sea of stars reflected in Keqing's bright eyes.
Or maybe it's when they're kneeling on the petal- strewn floor of Keqing's residence, her fingers bent at harsh angles into Mona's cloak and face pressed into the crook of her neck as she finally, finally, breaks down and sobs for the soulmate she cannot save.
Mona isn't sure. The memories of the Yuheng swirl together into a whirlwind of purples and pinks and the occasional tinkling laughter.
But if she had to guess, it's the moment Keqing barges into her life all those months ago and fixes her with that hard, blazing look when Mona first falls madly in love, only she doesn't realize until much, much later.
In the end, it doesn't really matter exactly when she falls in love with Keqing. Mona's peered into her own stars, wondering if, by some slim chance, a future where she and Keqing end up together exists, but she's met with only disappointment. Keqing's fate doesn't intertwine with hers, and Mona knows better than anyone that the will of the stars are absolute.
(But she still thinks about what Keqing once said. About how there might be possibilities the stars never accounted for, hidden away for people willing to put in the effort to discover. And oh, how she longs to believe that there are.)
"Can I kiss you?"
The words slip past Mona's lips, breathless and rushed, suspended between them in the chilly night air.
Keqing blinks. "What?"
A good question. Mona doesn't quite know what's come over her or where such a foolish request came from, though it might have something to do with the fact that tonight, under the glow of the lanterns on Yujing Terrace, Keqing looks radiant.
"I said--, " she starts to explain, panic flaring up within. "I meant that--"
But she falters, words dying in her throat as she stares at Keqing, who's suddenly gone slightly rigid.
Meant what, Mona? She asks herself despairingly. That you love her? What good will it do, anyway? She'll never love you back. Are you so insensitive as to profess your love so soon after Ganyu's passing?
But a small, selfish part of her, one that she's always hidden deep down, grabs onto the small glimmer of hope that this may be one of those possibilities the stars overlooked, a chance that was never accounted for, and holds it close to her heart.
Slowly, Keqing raises a hand to brush the hair out of Mona's eyes and cups her face, expression unreadable.
"You love me," she says quietly, tracing a thumb over the curve of her cheek. "Is that right?"
Mona's breath seems to catch in her throat. They're pressed up against each other on the terrace, their faces only a hair's length apart.
Much too close. Mona can feel the steady thump, thump, thump of Keqing's heart, a stark contrast from the rapid-fire beating of her own.
"Yes," she manages to choke out, her voice stuck somewhere between a whisper and a sigh.
The Yuheng's gaze locks with hers, amethyst to pale green. After what seems like an eternity of waiting, Keqing's mouth tilts upwards into a sideways smile.
(It doesn't quite reach her eyes.)
"Then...."
She leans in, closing the gap between them.
And in that moment, Mona knows. She knows that Keqing's lips against hers is in itself just another form of rebellion against the heavens, a defiant sign to the stars that they cannot control her life and they never will. She knows that Keqing is only fooling herself into believing she reciprocates this love Mona feels for her, and that in truth, her heart will always lie with the sleeping adeptus buried under a field of wild glaze lilies.
Mona knows. It is in her own stars to love the girl who is willing to pave the future of her dreams bare-handed, but it is not in Keqing's to love her back.
But, she thinks, as Keqing traces feather-light kisses along her jawline. If the Yuheng is content with playing pretend, then she can be, too.