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English
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Part 3 of my HP works
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Published:
2022-08-10
Words:
411
Chapters:
1/1
Comments:
3
Kudos:
14
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Severus Snape forms an attachment to a baby

Work Text:

Severus lay curled on the floor cradling the dead body of the woman he loved, sobbing over the wails of her child. The wards around the house, constructed by death eaters so the Potters could not apparate away, were still in effect. This is a difference. Severus alone in this house with a wailing baby.

No one else can get in through the three sets of wards—one broken by a broken secret, a broken promise. The second crafted as a trap to keep them inside and allies out—letting only Voldemort and those who bear his mark through. The last, his own, to keep out everyone else.

He can’t hear the baby. He can’t see anything except for Lilly. His world spins.

He goes to sleep on the floor with a corpse.

He wakes to sunlight and quiet. Harry has worn himself out from crying just as Severus had. They are together in their grief. This is a difference.

Severus picks himself up stiffly and turns, finally, mechanically, to the baby.

The boy must be fed. Must be cleaned. Must be held.

Severus cries gently as he does it.

Severus sings a lullaby half for himself.

The wards outside hold. Somewhere, far away, Bellatrix Lestrange and Barty Crouch Junior hold wards for a man they refuse to believe to be dead. This is a difference.

Three days, and three more, and three more, pass.

By now Severus has moved one of the bodies; he could not afford to trip on James while carrying Harry.

The smell of death reminds Severus to cast charms to preserve the bodies. He will not bury them; he is already living in a mausoleum.

He magics flowers for Lilly. This is a funeral. This is a wake. This is grief.

Outside, and far away, there are questions that Severus does not care to answer. Terrified people wondering where they stand, and others who would grieve more properly if they knew. Severus does not owe them, and he will always be alone in his grief, so he stays.

He stays until there is no more formula for the baby.

He considers staying further, longer. He does not want to break the spell of this solitude. He knows somewhere, somehow, if he leaves, he will never come back. If he is found, it is a death sentence.

He sings to Harry with his eyes closed so he does not have to see the resemblance to his father.

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