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Finnick walks along the sandy mixture of gravel to his- no, Mags house. Knocking softly, he enters and stands in the doorway, trying not to scare Mags, wherever in the house she might be. The frail old woman hobbles her way around a corner “please come in” she signs to finnick with a smile on her face. She leads him to the living room, a quaint cozy area with enough space for her well loved pale blue L shaped couch, a sliding glass door where the sun streamed in to the room each morning when she drank her cup of chamomile tea and where her cat stretched and woke up every morning. “Are you able to speak or will sign be how we communicate today?” She watched as Finnicks broken but mostly fluent signage carried on as she responded “I can hear you but i will sign my responses back, too much to speak today” Finnick nods and stares at the floor for a moment, his eyes slowly dragging up to look back at her. “mags” it sounded more like a question or reality than a statement. “yes dear?” he takes a breath “snow made me do it again.” Finnick holds Mags gaze, her soft elderly eyes glistened over with tears that were beginning to form. “ Please know, this isn’t your fault sweet boy” to which Finnick nods and looks away, not wanting Mags to see him cry again for the third time this week. “I don’t even know who I am anymore, so much of me has been taken, it feels like none of it belongs to me. I mean, I look in the mirror and I don’t see myself anymore.” His breath stuttered as tears began to fall, something he didn’t let happen except for with Mags. Instead of signing,she took one of his hands in hers and gently drew circles. He had a tendency to dissociate when this sort of situation happened and was being discussed. After a moment, she taps on his hand three times, this is how they say ‘I love you’ to eachother. “Mags… i’m so in love with Annie, but what is she going to think of me when she finds out what the capitols done to me? What I let them do to me. How could I do this to her?” Mags quickly responds “you did not do this willingly. If you did, we would be having a very different conversation. You know Snow would have you killed if you didn’t do exactly as he asked. Annie would think no less of you if she knew sweetheart. That girl loves you as much as i love you Finnick Odair.” He gets from the couch onto the floor like a kid and wraps his arms around mags legs in a hug, putting his head in her lap. In this moment of pause, she sees the broken child needing the comfort of a mother that life never provided him, the kid who walked through her door what feels like a lifetime ago willing to go through any games the capitol out him through not knowing that once he won, he wouldn’t come home the same. Mags mind wanders to the memory of the first time he ever came back from the capitol, he broke down before he even got through the door, bruises covering his body in places where bruises should never be on a 14 year old. Since then, she vowed to never let him go through this alone. If she could take his place, she would. But, all now in her old age she can do is comfort him like a chosen mother could. “Mama Mags I’m scared…. i’m scared of what they’ve been doing to me and i’m afraid i can’t survive it much longer.” She absentmindedly brushed her hands through Finnicks hair for a while until he lifted his head. “My boy, you are so strong. When all else fails you, live out of spite. You can fight this. I am with you always, in here” she taps on his chest where his heart is “and i’m always in here” and taps his head. “You carry with you the fierceness of an oncoming storm and the strength of an endless ocean. All you must do is fight your way out of the place you are in. Fight for all you are worth. Never let them steal your voice.” She pauses for a moment. “Do not worry about the repercussions on Annie and I. We will make sure that we survive what they bring at us. Go on and fight for yourself, be selfish for your desire to survive.” Finnick begins to silently crying in front of her as she is signing to him, then slowly hangs his head and lets the tears fall into the carpet. Mags brings her hand up to Finnicks head and strokes his hair again, nails scratching him softly and comfortingly. Her cat swishes around Finnick as an act of comfort as well to the boy. “I will, I promise I will tie a noose around all of their necks and become a rebellion. I’m going to save my soul.”
