Chapter Text
The orange-haired man sat at his keyboard, playing the song, "Lazybones", recalling the first day he and his band made it to Hollywood. Dr. Teeth faced good times and bad times with the Electric Mayhem, and the rest of the Muppets, but this week somehow felt different. It's been decades since he first met the light blue, "stone-cold" bird of prey, Sam the American Eagle, and now, he started developing strange feelings about him. As he played his song, Dr. Teeth wondered if the rest of the band would even approve of him being near Sam, until he suddenly missed a note, snapping him out of his thoughts. Sgt. Floyd Pepper, the bassist, heard the sour note, and looked at the good doctor, in surprise. "Say, Teeth," Floyd began. "You all right, man?"
"Uh... yeah, why?" Dr. Teeth asked, hoping not to trip him up.
"You've never missed a note, before," Floyd mentioned. "You sure there's nothing up?"
"Posilutely." Dr. Teeth replied.
Floyd only looked at the keyboardist in confusion, before shrugging, and strutting off. "What's eatin' him?" he thought.
As he returned to the other band members, Floyd asked them, "Hey, guys, is Teeth acting weird, to you?"
"What do you mean?" Zoot, the aloof saxophone player, asked, back.
"I mean, he hasn't been acting like himself, lately." Floyd answered.
"How's that?" Lips, the usually-quiet trumpet player, asked.
"Well, just now, when he was playing one of our previous songs," Floyd explained. "He missed a note." At that, the other band members gasped, in shock.
"Missed a note?" Janice, the lead guitarist, gasped. "There must be something wrong, 'cause he, like, never misses a note."
"He says he's fine, but I got my doubts." Floyd sighed.
"Think one of us should ask him about it?" Zoot asked.
"Maybe," Janice shrugged. "I just, like, hope it's nothing drastic."
"I doubt that it's anything that bad." Mickey Wolf-Pepper, Floyd and Janice's adopted daughter, sighed, shaking her furry head.
"You think he's got somethin', or someone, on his mind?" Lips guessed.
"If he does, I wonder who, or what, it is?" Floyd wondered.
Later, that evening, when the band went home, Floyd considered asking Dr. Teeth, again, about why he was acting so strange, but the keyboardist was ready to answer. "Uh... listen, guys," the good doctor began, rhythmically tapping his fingers on the table. "There's somethin' I gotta tell ya."
"What is it, Doc?" Mickey asked.
"It's about why I'm, uh, acting so strange, lately." Dr. Teeth explained.
"And what might that be?" Floyd asked.
"You might find this hard to assimilate," Dr. Teeth explained further, turning a little red. "And I know you won't like it, but... I kinda have my eyes on Sam..."
Almost instantly, the rest of the band looked at him like he lost his marbles. "Wha...?" Animal, the drummer, asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Sam?" Zoot asked, as well. "Sam Eagle?"
"Yeah, that Sam." Dr. Teeth replied.
"But I thought you said he was a square?" Mickey recalled.
"I know I did," Dr. Teeth sighed. "But, for the past few weeks, that bird kinda grew on me."
"Huh, that's true," Floyd recalled, with a nod. "And he's opened up, more, lately, especially with our song choices."
"Yeah," Dr. Teeth sighed, again, now turning depressed. "But I don't think he feels the same, for me..."
"Aww, who knows?" Janice smiled, a little, trying to cheer him up. "Maybe he does like you, but doesn't know how to show it?"
"Well, how did you figure out that Floyd liked ya, Janice?" Dr. Teeth asked.
"Oh, wow, like, his body language said it all, rully." Janice replied, making Floyd chuckle.
"Huh, how about that?" Dr. Teeth mused.
"And who knows?" Janice guessed. "Maybe it might be the same, for Sam?"
"Well, if that's the case," Floyd mused. "We'll find out, tomorrow."
"What does he see in that tough old bird, anyway???" Zoot thought to himself. "Huh, and they think I'm crazy."
The next day, at the Muppet Theater, Floyd searched for Sam Eagle, hoping to set him up with Dr. Teeth, as a surprise. Finally, he saw the light blue American bald eagle, making sure that things weren't getting too chaotic. The groovy bassist strutted up to him, and greeted, "Hey, Sam."
"Oh, what do you want, Floyd?" Sam replied, indifferently, not looking up from his clipboard.
"Well, there's somethin' I wanna ask ya." Floyd explained.
Meanwhile, Mickey began snooping around, curious if Floyd got an answer out of Sam. After slinking around several crates and boxes, she finally overheard Sam and Floyd's conversation. "Come on, man, this is the 21st century," the bassist insisted. "It's not illegal, anymore."
"Hmph, even if it wasn't illegal," Sam scoffed in denial. "Why would I want to be affiliated with that beatnik?"
At that, Mickey had an aghast look in her azure eyes. "Oh no, he's doomed!" she thought, knowing that Dr. Teeth abhorred being called a "beatnik". "Dr. Teeth is gonna be heartbroken, in no time!"
Meanwhile, Floyd sneered, narrowing his eyes, in disgust, "You got a lot of brass, sayin' such a thing about someone who actually likes you, Sam."
"Well, he-... What?" Sam almost gasped, confused by Floyd's words.
"I'm not yankin' your feathers, man," Floyd went on, crossing his arms. "He told me, and the rest of the band, that he had his eyes on you."
"Hmm, and to think he said that he doesn't like anything 'not groovy'." Sam mused.
"From what he said," Floyd explained. "For the past few weeks, you were growin' on him."
"Well, I must confess," Sam sighed. "I have been getting used to him, as well as the rest of the band."
"There ya go," Floyd nodded. "I even thought about setting the two of you up on a date, later on, tonight."
"T-Tonight?" Sam almost choked.
"Yeah, tonight," Floyd repeated. "And I think you might like him, a bit more, after it." The bassist then turned to leave, but he looked back at the American eagle, and reminded him, firmly, "You should be lucky that someone actually likes ya, bird-man. "What a square..." he muttered, strutting off.
"Hmm..." Sam frowned, slightly, in thought.
A few minutes later, as the band began rehearsing, Dr. Teeth was deep in thought, speculating whether he should ask Sam Eagle out on a date, or not. "Hmm, should I ask him out, or wait until he asks me out?" he wondered aloud, sliding his hat back, slightly, and scratching his head.
"Oh, it's not a good idea to wait." Janice shook her head.
"Why not?" Dr. Teeth asked.
"Dr. Teeth, if you wait too long," Janice explained. "He might never ask you out."
"Well, in that case, I think I'll do it, today." Dr. Teeth nodded, before looking worried, again. "But, wait, what if he turns me down? "I haven't dated anyone, in quite some time," he admitted. "Flirted, yes, but not exactly dated."
"If he does, and I doubt it'll happen," Janice replied, putting a hand on his shoulder. "We'll be here for you, right, guys?"
"Yeah, baby," Floyd nodded, and the rest of the band agreed. "Besides, I think everyone loves ya, Teeth."
"Also, Lips said yes, to me, when I asked," Zoot added. "So Sam might be the same, with you."
"Yeah, and I don't remember a time when you didn't get that stone-cold bird to cut loose and shake his tail feathers!" Lips chuckled, in agreement.
"Hmm, too true, too true." Dr. Teeth slowly smiled, in relief. "Thanks, guys."
Sam Eagle peered in and overheard the Electric Mayhem's conversation. "Is it true that Dr. Teeth might be the only one who likes me, at all?" he thought. "Hmm, maybe I'll go through with the date, but I won't kiss him, I won't, I won't, I won't!"
"Okay, I'll do it." he heard Dr. Teeth say. The American eagle kept his stoic composure as the good doctor stepped forward. "Sam?" Dr. Teeth asked.
"Yes, what do you want?" Sam asked, nonchalantly.
"I, uh, wanted to ask you something," Dr. Teeth replied. "Would you, uh, like to go out on a dinner date, tonight?"
"Me?" Sam asked, trying not to sound disgusted. "You want to go on a dinner date with me, Sam Eagle, a 'tough old bird'?"
"Why not?" Dr. Teeth asked, back.
"'Why not'?" Sam asked, almost nervously.
"I asked ya, first." Dr. Teeth joked.
"Well, it's just that your offer sounded so sudden," Sam explained, omitting his real reason for being surprised. "And I didn't know that you liked me, that much."
"Well, Sam, I do." Dr. Teeth replied. "So, what do you say?"
Sam only sighed, feeling that there was no turning back, "All right, I'll do it... after the show."
"Solid, baby," Dr. Teeth finally smiled, before returning to the band, to rehearse some more. "See you, then."
That night, after another successful show, Sam Eagle and Dr. Teeth met up at Rowlf's Tavern, for their first date. As they sat down to eat, they instantly began a bit of small talk, recalling a few memories, and even learning new things about each other. Dr. Teeth revealed that his real full name was Gerald Teeth, Jr., but he legally changed it to Leon Eltonjohn Dontshoot, and he still didn't usually allow anyone to call him that, so he just stuck with "Dr. Teeth". He also revealed that, while his talent for voodoo was getting stronger, he worked at his parents' dental practice, for a few years, before running away with Floyd, in the early 70s. As for Sam, he revealed that he was widowed, leaving him as a single parent to two near-adult eaglets, Roosevelt and Isabelle. He confessed that he wasn't too happy with his ex-wife, in the past, and he didn't even remember her name. Dr. Teeth felt awful that the American eagle had to go through all that, and gingerly put a hand on his feathery back. "In all honesty, Dr. Teeth," Sam sighed, welcoming the good doctor's sympathy. "I'm still concerned with how my kids are, in college. "Granted, they get good grades," he went on, before shaking his head in disgust. "But I have a feeling that the headmaster is nothing but a hack..."
"That bad, huh?" Dr. Teeth asked, his eyes widening, slightly.
"Hmm, I've spoken with the headmaster, before," Sam nodded, slightly. "And just from the way he spoke back to me, I was appalled."
"Heavy stuff, man." Dr. Teeth gasped.
"Yes... heavy." Sam agreed, trying to use those hip words that Dr. Teeth and the rest of the band use, regularly.
At first, Sam was surprised at how sympathetic Dr. Teeth was, but he remembered that the good doctor was the leader of a band of hippies, so his compassion and support just came naturally. Sam was also surprised to learn about the keyboardist's troubled past. He wondered if what Floyd said to him, earlier, was true, but he also remembered being taught that same-sex couples were illegal. "Can't believe I have to do this, but I must know..." he thought, before reluctantly sighing, and turning to Dr. Teeth. "Is it true, Dr. Teeth," he asked. "That you have a fondness for me?"
Dr. Teeth nodded, "Oh, positively."
"Hmm," Sam almost sneered in slight disgust, remembering his earlier vow. "And I suppose you're expecting a kiss, right?"
Dr. Teeth suddenly appeared perturbed, after hearing the noble eagle's tone of voice. "Is there a problem?" he asked.
"Well..." Sam began. He wanted to say that there was a problem, but when he saw the good doctor's face, he knew that expression, all too well. Dr. Teeth bore a similar expression when he learned of Jim Henson's death: a look of fear, sadness, and worry. Sam remembered how heart-wrenching that day was, for everyone, especially for the Electric Mayhem. The band didn't perform, again, for two years, and he didn't want that feeling to return, especially since Dr. Teeth went mute, for much longer than that.
Sam wondered how Dr. Teeth, the charismatic hip dude who hates anything "not groovy", would like him, of all birds, and Floyd's warning echoed through his mind, "You should be lucky that someone actually likes ya, bird-man."
The American eagle finally sighed in defeat, fearing that nobody else would love him like that, again, "Never mind... I'll do it."
At that, Dr. Teeth perked up, and his famed infectious smile returned to his face. "Groovy." he sighed in relief, before wrapping his long, strong arms around Sam's shoulders, and kissing him.
Sam stiffened up and squeezed his eyes shut, at first, worried that the kiss would feel disgusting. When nothing else happened, he slowly opened his eyes, and thought, "Wait... this isn't too bad!" At that, the American eagle softened his posture, and slowly wrapped his equally-strong wings around the keyboardist, letting the kiss last longer.
Finally, the man and bird pulled away from their kiss, feeling calmer than before. "You think this might be official?" Dr. Teeth asked, his famous smile not faltering.
"Hmm, it's possible," Sam nodded. "But I wonder how Roosevelt and Isabelle would take it, when they find out about my dating you?"
"I'm sure they won't mind it." Dr. Teeth replied.
"Oh?" Sam asked.
"Besides, I'm more of a lover than a fighter." Dr. Teeth reminded him.
"Hmm, that's true," Sam nodded, again. "And, after a while, my eaglets will be thrilled, when they have a second parental figure to look up to. "That is, if you don't mind it, if they called you 'Dad', as well." he went on.
"I don't mind it, at all, I think we'll get along, just swimmingly." Dr. Teeth reassured him, in a smooth tone of voice, keeping a long arm around the American eagle. "Heck, if our relationship goes any further, I wouldn't mind being a stepfather."
At that, Sam Eagle smiled, and hugged the good doctor, making him reciprocate the hug. "Thank you, Dr. Teeth," Sam smiled, suddenly detecting the scent of lavender. "Thank you, for talking with me."
"Thank you, for having this date with me." Dr. Teeth smiled back, his gold tooth glinting in the light.
"Do you want to have another one, next week?" Sam asked, sounding rather hopeful.
"Absotively and posilutely." Dr. Teeth nodded, hugging him, again.
Sam knew he meant "yes", so he hugged back, before asking, again, "Do you think the rest of the band will be all right, with you dating me, and all?"
"They seemed supportive, when I told them about it, last night." Dr. Teeth replied.
"Oh, right." Sam remembered.
"Nevertheless, I have quite a story to tell, when I get back home." Dr. Teeth chuckled, his gold tooth glinting in the light.
"Indeed," Sam nodded, before eyeing a nearby clock. "It's almost closing time; we better get going."
Sam paid the check, and he and Dr. Teeth exited the tavern. "That was the first date I've had, in years." Sam admitted.
"Same here, and it was better than I thought." Dr. Teeth replied. "See you, next week?"
"Of course," Sam smiled, giving him a final hug. "Goodnight, Dr. Teeth."
"Goodnight, Sam." Dr. Teeth smiled, back. As a sweet and surprising sendoff, Sam gave him a peck on the cheek, making his eyes widen, and his cheeks turn pink. As Sam took off into the night, Dr. Teeth waved to him, still blushing, and keeping a hand on his cheek. "Wow." the keyboardist gasped, in surprise. As he, too, went home, his smile returned, knowing that the first date was a success. He couldn't wait to tell the band about it, and he also couldn't wait until the next date.