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Chapter Text

Jack left Garrett's office feeling a mix of anxiety and relief. He knew he'd surprised his supervisor but he wouldn't be the only one who was. When he returned to the bullpen, he found everyone gone except for Bobby, who was just shrugging into his jacket, ready to call it a day.

"Hey Crash, wanna grab a drink? I'm buying," Jack said.

"Well, if you're buying, how can I say no?" Bobby asked, a grin dimpling his cheeks.

Minutes later, the two men were seated at a nearby bar - Bobby with a beer, Jack with something a bit stronger. Bobby regarded his friend for a few moments, noting the somewhat pensive expression. "Something on your mind, mate? You're a bit quiet."

Jack sipped his drink, feeling the slight burn as it went down. "I'm leaving the Bureau, Bobby," he said.

"What? Why?"

"Because I can't do it anymore," Jack said.

"The job?"

"No, I can't go in there day after day, knowing I have to work with someone who treats my feelings like some sort of joke," Jack said.

"Sue." It wasn't a question. "Have you told her how you feel?"

"Name one person on the team that doesn't know how I feel about her," Jack said. "She knows. She just doesn't care." He sipped his drink then contemplated the amber liquid for a moment. "I used to hope she'd return them someday but I gave up on that after the undercover when we were after Dessa."

"What happened?"

"Well, it wasn't the pleasant experience for me that everyone thought it was," Jack said. "She told me straight up that she wouldn't have time to think of one thing she liked about me then after, she said I'd have to go back to meeting women in places like this." He circled a finger, indicating the dimly lit bar. "I'm surprised the neighbors bought us as newlyweds with how stiff she was around me," he said. "She didn't want to be there, not with me anyway."

"I'm sorry, Jack," Bobby said. "I know we teased you about it but we didn't know..."

"I know you didn't," Jack said with a brief smile. "The thing is, she'd go out with just about anyone who asked her. She went out with that DEA agent even though she knew why he'd asked...and it wasn't just for the pleasure of her company. She started dating David because Levi liked his dog. She would have gone out with Tony if she hadn't found out he was a cheating bastard. She even accepted a coffee date with the guy who'd kidnapped her and held her hostage for almost two days. But me, well...I wouldn't have been in the least bit surprised if she chose a date with Serial Killer Simon over one with me."

"You two couldn't date anyway. The policy..."

"Is a myth. I looked it up," Jack said. He took a deep swallow of his drink then said, "Doesn't matter anyway. She wouldn't say yes unless she was completely out of options and she was desperate...and even then it would be a toss up. She doesn't care, Bobby and I know that."

"So what are you going to do?"

"About Sue? Nothing."

"For work," Bobby said. "I can't see you just wiling away the days, puttering around your apartment."

"I put out feelers to the security companies," Jack said. "Got a few bites with one solid offer. Seems having a law degree and being an agent looks good on the resume. It's more pay and fewer hours." He drained his glass, contemplated having another but deccided against it. "I'll finish out the week then take a week off before I start."

"So it's a done deal," Bobby said.

"As of today," Jack said. "I've already tendered my resignation effective Friday. And I'd appreciate it if you kept this to yourself." He clasped his hands, shaking his head slightly. "I just don't get it," he said. "She was upset when she found out I was with Rhonda then Allie showed up after my heart attack and Sue assumed we were back together...and she didn't seem happy about it." He paused then said, "It's like she was interested only when I was with someone but when I'm not..." He shrugged.

"Were you and Allie back together?" Bobby asked.

"No, she'd just come down to give me a hand," Jack said. "We were ready to call it quits for good anyway...and she saw how I felt about Sue. Told me she wouldn't settle for second place and I don't blame her. She deserves better."

Bobby tilted his bottle at Jack then took a drink. "Well, here's wishing you well in your new job, mate...and we'll miss you. Even Sue, I expect."

"She'll miss not being able to play with my feelings," Jack said a bit derisively. "Not being able to poke and jab at me...all under the guise of teasing, of course."

"Are you sure she wasn't just teasing?"

"I'm sure," Jack said. "You heard her after that bank robbery case with the high school kids. The marriage wasn't real but the rejection was. That was just the latest in a long line of them. She knew what she was doing. She's too smart not to."

When Bobby turned down another beer, Jack paid the tab and the two men stepped out into the darkening evening. Jack felt a little less anxious about his decision to leave the Bureau, knowing his best friend - while not happy about it - supported him. "Thanks Bobby," he said.

"What for?"

"Listening. Not judging," Jack said. "I know you like Sue - so do I despite everything - and I was worried you might think I was asking you to choose. I'm not. I never would."

"I know you wouldn't," Bobby said. "And you more than like Sue. You love her."

Jack swallowed past a lump in his throat. "I do," he said quietly. "And I know nothing will ever come of it. I don't know what or who she's looking for, I just know it's not me...and I have to live with that."

Chapter Text

"Hey Bobby? Do you know when Jack is coming back?" Sue asked.

Bobby took her arm and led her into the library, closing the door behind them. "He isn't," he said. At Sue's puzzled frown, he sighed. "Sue, I like you, I think you're a good agent and a valuable member of the team but you're the reason he resigned."

"He resigned? Why?"

"Because of how you treated his feelings for you," Bobby said. "He told me he couldn't come here and work with you every day knowing you considered them a joke. He needed a clean break with no reminders."

"But..."

"Did you - even once - acknowledge how he felt about you?" Bobby asked. "Or were you using all those jokes and jabs to avoid telling him outright that you weren't interested? He would have accepted that but he felt you were just playing with his feelings."

Sue was quiet for a few minutes, thinking back on how she'd teased him, how she'd kidded with him. "I never meant..."

"He thought you did," Bobby said. "He gave up hope after your undercover that you'd ever feel the same. He had to watch you go out with that DEA agent, with David. He even told me you agreed to go out with the man who'd held you hostage...and you have no idea how scared he was that we wouldn't find you or if we did, it would have been too late. It would have broken him had that happened."

"Even if that were true, we couldn't...FBI policy..."

"Jack looked it up, I looked it up," Bobby said. "There is no such policy. And you know it's true, how he feels. You're smart enough to see it. Everyone could see it."

Sue sank into a chair as she processed what Bobby had said. "But Allie..."

"They were ready to call it quits when she was here," Bobby said. "She could see how he felt about you...just like anyone with a pair of eyes."

"He hates me, doesn't he?" Sue asked.

"No Sue, he doesn't. Quite the opposite in fact. He loves you but he knows it's one sided. He's a good man and he wanted more with you but you kept telling him no."

Sue managed to make it through the rest of the day, knowing she'd likely never see Jack again - DC was a big city - and kept stealing glances at Jack's desk, half expecting him to be sitting there each time she looked, disappointed when he wasn't.

It's my fault, it's my fault kept running through her mind and she had to wonder how the rest of the team would react to knowing she was the reason they'd lost a core member. They thought Jack was just taking some well deserved time off, that he'd be back but she and Bobby knew he wouldn't be. He'd resigned because she wouldn't - or couldn't - take his feelings for her seriously.

"Hey, we're going out for a drink. You coming with us?" Lucy asked at the end of the day. When Sue didn't answer, she hesitated. "Sue? You okay?"

"I'm fine, Luce," Sue said, busily straightening her desk.

"No, you're not," Lucy said. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Sue said.

Lucy leaned against the desk, noting how her roommate wouldn't look at her to avoid "hearing" what she might say. She touched Sue's shoulder to get her attention. "Yes, there is. Talk to me."

Sue twisted her hands together, avoiding Lucy's gaze. "He's not coming back, Luce," she said in a near whisper.

"Who? Jack? Of course he is," Lucy said.

"He's not. I talked to Garrett," Sue said. "Jack resigned."

"He resigned? Why?"

"Because of me," Sue whispered, her voice catching. "Because he thinks I don't care about him...that I treated how he felt about me like a joke...All those things I said to him..."

"He knows you were just teasing him..."

"He doesn't think so," Sue said. "I told him, during our undercover, that I wouldn't have time to come up with one thing I liked about him, I even told him my rejecting him was real..." She paused then continued in a whisper, "I let him walk away, Luce, after that case at the law firm. I knew what he wanted but never gave him the chance to ask."

"And why did you let him go?" Lucy asked gently.

"I don't know," Sue said, sounding on the verge of tears. "Maybe because...because I thought we'd have time...that there would be other chances...because I thought he'd always be here..."

"You think you took him for granted," Lucy said.

"I did! He gave me a chance, made me part of this team, he was always there when I needed someone, he saved my life when Simon tried to kill me and how did I repay him? By not taking him seriously when he showed me every day how much he cared about me..." A tear slipped down her face as she whispered, "He hates me, Luce. How can he not?"

"You should talk to him, tell him what you told me," Lucy said.

"Would you talk to someone who did to you what I did to Jack? I wouldn't," Sue said.

"You could try," Lucy said. "Tell him how you really feel."

"And why would he believe me after what I did to him? I hurt him, all because I..." She trailed off, shaking her head. "It doesn't matter now," she said. "He's gone and it's my fault."

Chapter Text

Jack skimmed over the conract for a new client, comfortable now in his role as semi official legal counsel for the company and official instructor for the armed security they provided for various VIPs and dignitaries. As he'd told Bobby all those weeks ago, having a law degree and being an agent looked good on the resume. He liked his colleagues and superiors and was, in turn, liked by them.

"Looks good," he said to Cynthia, one of the junior partners, as he handed her the stack of papers.

"I'll get this to Mr. Wasserman," Cynthia said. "And he wants to know if you're ready for the next batch of applicants."

"How many?"

"Seven," Cynthia said. "He wants you to look over their CVs and see if any would be a good fit."

Jack checked his watch. "After lunch?"

"As soon as you can get to them," Cynthia said. "But preferably in the next few days."

"Consider it done," Jack said. He turned to gaze out the window after Cynthia left, his mind once more straying to his old team...and Sue. He didn't really doubt she missed him but it was probably because she no longer had him to string along. Every time he thought he'd had even the slightest chance, she'd made it clear she had no interest...and she'd enjoyed playing with him - he could see it.

He was brought out of his thoughts by a tap on the doorframe and turned, surprised by who was there. "Troy. What are you doing here?" he asked, signing as he did.

I came to talk to you...about Sue, Troy said as he took a seat across from Jack.

Jack made his expression blank. Nothing to talk about, he signed.

She's miserable, Jack. She tries to hide it but I can tell. She misses you.

Really? She knew how I felt about her and she didn't care, Jack replied. He regarded the former car thief a minute then said, If you're here to plead her case, I'm afraid you've wasted your time. Sue made it very clear how she felt about me over the three years we worked together.

So you won't give her a chance? That's all she wants, Troy said.

I'll give her as many chances she gave me. None, Jack said. I gave her a chance, Troy. A chance to do something besides file fingerprints, the chance to use her abilities, stood up for her against some on my own team, treated her as a person...and she repays me by completely disregarding my feelings for her, even making fun of them. He sat back with a sigh. I know she's your friend and you want her to be happy but she's never once given me any sign she'd be happy with me. David, that DEA agent, even the man who'd held her hostage. They were good enough. I wasn't.

Troy nodded as he stood. I had to try, he said. Because she's my friend.

She's lucky to have you, Jack said. He regarded the other man a moment. I wish it could be different, he said. But she just doesn't - or won't - see me the way I see her.

I think she does, Troy said.

Now that it's too late.

Is it?

Three years I waited, Troy. Three years and nothing. What do you think? I stopped waiting for her to change her mind a long time ago because I know she won't.

Troy nodded but Jack could see he didn't quite believe him. Well, I know you're busy. Take care, Jack.

Take care, Troy.

"You're full of surprises, aren't you?"

"What do you mean?" Jack asked, seeing Cynthia at the door after Troy left.

"First time I've seen someone carry on a conversation without saying a word."

"ASL. Sign language," Jack said. "A former coworker of mine at the Bureau is deaf. We dealt with deaf suspects and witnesses often enough that I started taking classes. It's a handy skill to have." He let out a breath and asked, "Is there something I can do for you?"

"Have lunch with me," Cynthia said. "And maybe tell me what's on your mind. I hear I"m a very good listener..."

Jack smiled. "Okay, but I'm buying if you're willing to listen to my tale of woe," he said. "Deal?"

"You got a deal," Cynthia said. "But I warn you, I'm starved."

Chapter Text

Jack was out jogging early on a Saturday morning while the city was still waking up, the repetiveness of his footfalls allowing him to blank his mind - no thoughts of work, the Bureau...of Sue. The feeling was almost Zen as he ran, just enough of his attention on his surroundings to avoid mishaps. That feeling vanished when a golden streak flashed past him, coming to a stop about thirty yards ahead.

He frowned as he got closer, his heart dropping when he recognized Levi. That meant only one thing - Sue was nearby. He didn't know why she was up so early or how she'd found him but it didn't matter - she was and she did. He crouched down by the dog, giving him attention, smiling when he reacted enthusiastically, practically climbing into his lap. "I missed you too, buddy," he said. "But I don't miss the puppy dog eyes when I have donuts." He stood when he heard footsteps, not surprised to see Sue when he turned.

"He misses you, you know," Sue said.

"You don't," Jack said before he could stop himself.

"But I do..." Sue said, sounding a little hurt.

"What do you want, Sue?"

"I wanted to talk to you, tell you how I feel..."

"I know how you feel," Jack said. "You're convinced that the perfect man is out there and you won't stop looking for him until you find him." He switched to sign as he continued, But if you do find him, will he learn sign, not because he has to but because he wants to? Will he show you every day that you're the center of his world? Will seeing your smile, hearing your laugh make him fall in love with you even more? Will his worst day be bearable because you're there?

"Jack...I..." Sue faltered.

"You don't feel the same way," Jack said. "I've known that since our time undercover. You know, when you told me you couldn't think of anything you like about me. I bet you hated every minute you were in that house with me."

"I didn't hate it, Jack," Sue said quietly.

Jack sat on a nearby bench, absently stroking Levi's head. "You'll excuse me if I don't believe you," he said. "I'm surprised we were able to pull off the newlywed act since it seemed like you didn't even want me to touch you."

Sue sat next to him and said hesitantly, "Speaking of our undercover...I've been thinking about that...a lot. Thinking about you...about us..."

"There is no us," Jack said. "Because you decided that there wouldn't be. You decided after you got back from Quantico." He looked out over the park and sighed. "Lucy told me what you said, that nothing was happening between us and nothing ever would. Right after you joined the team, you decided you weren't going to give me a chance."

"I thought nothing could happen as long as we were in the same unit," Sue said. "You were my training agent..."

"That policy doesn't exist," Jack said.

"I didn't know that then," Sue said.

"But you didn't bother to check," Jack said "I did...when I realized what I felt for you wasn't just infatuation. I realized it when we were at Callahan and Merced. I also know that kiss meant nothing to you - it was just expedient, something that had to be done for the case." He looked at her then. "But it meant something to me. I got to kiss you and I didn't care about the circumstances...and that memory won't leave me alone."

"I'm sorry, Jack. It's because of me that you gave up being an agent, that you're hurting so badly..."

"I had to leave," Jack said. "I couldn't keep seeing you every day knowing you'd never love me like I love you, knowing you'd never see me that way."

"You love me?" Sue whispered, sounding a little bewildered.

"I thought it was obvious," Jack said. "I think I started falling in love with you the first time you hugged me, the first time I saw you really smile."

"I was kidding, you know. All the jokes, the ribbing..." Sue said. "I just didn't know what to do with this kind...charming...gorgeous man who was paying attention to me. I was scared. Scared that you meant it, scared that you didn't and all I could think to do was...run away."

"But why didn't you give me a chance?" Jack asked quietly. "You could have run to me..."

"I know that now," Sue said. "It took you leaving the Bureau, leaving me for me to see how wrong I was." She looked at him, unshed tears in her eyes. "Can you ever forgive me for what I did to you?"

Jack sighed. "Honestly, I don't know," he said. "What you did...it hurt. A lot."

"I'm sorry, Jack. I really am," Sue said. "Those others...Scott and David...I didn't feel anything for them. Not like I do for you. And you're not the only one who keeps thinking about that kiss. And I keep beating myself up for letting you walk away after that case wrapped. I almost called you back."

"Why didn't you?"

"I didn't want to get my hopes up," Sue said. "I was afraid you really did see me as just a friend, that I was imagining what I saw. That you were being kind to me because you're kind to everyone."

"You weren't imagining it," Jack said. "If you'd have asked, I would have told you I thought you were perfect. I never cared that you're deaf. It's part of who you are, part of what makes you so special."

Chapter Text

"I'm not special or perfect," Sue said then looked down when Levi pawed her leg. She followed the dog's gaze, surprised to see David with Nikita.

Jack looked as well and his heart dropped at seeing them, seeing Sue's expression. She'd just told him she hadn't really felt anything for David but her expression made him doubt that. "I've got to go," he said as he stood. "Sue...David." Before either could respond, he continued his jog.

"Did I interrupt?" David asked.

"We...no, you didn't," Sue said, not quite hiding her hurt as she watched Jack's back recede into the distance.

"I think I did," David said, touching her arm. "I just wanted to say hi and see how you were doing." He looked out to where Jack was then back at Sue. "You should tell him."

"Tell him what?"

"How you feel," David said, sitting beside her. He let out a breath. "I've known for a while, Sue," he said. "I've seen how he looks at you, how you looked at him even when we were together and I wondered why you two never..."

"I never would have cheated on you, David," Sue said.

"I know," David said, taking her hand. "But why do you think I broke things off? It wasn't because I was so insanely busy or that work kept taking me out of town. It was because I wanted to give you the chance to be happy, to be with the person you wanted to be with...and who obviously wants to be with you."

"He doesn't think so," Sue said. She squeezed his hand. "He left the FBI," she said. "He said because he couldn't work with me every day knowing I never took his feelings seriously." She shrugged a little. "And maybe I didn't. Maybe all the jokes and teasing weren't really jokes and teasing... I said some hurtful things to him..."

"Why?"

Sue was quiet for a moment then said softly, "I was scared. I like you, David, I do but Jack was always the one I turned to when things got really bad, like when Levi got shot protecting me or when Simon almost killed me." She smiled humorlessly. "But I always made a joke or teased him about something when he showed me how he felt. I could see it...but I didn't want to." She sighed. "And I'm the reason he's not an agent anymore. He gave up his badge, gave up the Bureau so he wouldn't have to see me."

"So what are you going to do about it?" David asked. "Do you love him enough to fight for him?"

Jack didn't deny he was angry as he left Sue and David to their little reunion - angry at Sue for letting him hope and angry at himself for believing her. After everything she'd said and done in the three years they worked together, he should have known. She was just playing with his feelings again.

Half an hour later, he found himself in the ring at the gym, dressed for sparring, trying to work through his anger on an unsuspecting sparring partner.

"I don't know what had you so worked up, Jack, but next time...do a few rounds with the bag before you get in the ring," Jason, his sparring partner, said.

"Sorry," Jack sighed. "Personal issue."

"Woman?" Jason asked as they toweled off.

"Isn't it always?" Jack asked drily. He shook his head. "She let me believe she felt the same as I do then her ex shows up and it's like I'm not even there. I saw how she looked at him and it was the same way I wish she'd look at me." He took a swig from his water bottle then said, "I was an idiot thinking she'd ever feel that way about me but...hope springs eternal, I guess. And it hurts when it's shot down."

"And here I thought FBI agents were too badass to have those kinds of feelings," Jason teased.

"I'm not an agent anymore," Jack said. "I left the Bureau." He looked at the other man and shrugged a little. "Because of her."

"So you could date?"

"Nope," Jack said. "Because I couldn't keep working with her. I didn't transfer because I knew she'd still be in the same building and I didn't want the reminder. I needed a clean break. I miss my old team but on the upside, I don't have to deal with the scum of the earth and hope I can stop them before they do major damage or rack up a high body count."

"So who is she? What's her name?"

"Sue Thomas," Jack said. "And she's the first deaf person to work for the Bureau. She was a special project and I gave her a chance to do something better than file fingerprints, stood up for her when people made it clear they thought she didn't belong there. Now I'm thinking I should have left her where she was."

Jason clapped him on the shoulder. "Come on, let's get cleaned up and go get a drink. First round's on me."

"Thanks but I don't want to find out if I'm a mean drunk," Jack said. "Maybe next time."

"That bad, huh?"

"Yep, that bad," Jack said. He glanced at the heavy bag hanging a few feet away, debating if he still needed to work out his residual anger but decided the sparring with Jason had done enough. Not that he wasn't still angry but it was an anger he could deal with.

"Hope things work out the way you want, Jack," Jason said.

"I doubt they will...but thanks."

Jack treated himself to a long, hot shower when he got home - his muscles stiff from the jog and the workout at the gym - and he found he was no longer angry, just sad...and frustrated. Everyone on the team knew how he felt about Sue but she either couldn't or wouldn't see it. "Ah hell, Jack. She saw it...and thought it was funny," Jack said to himself. "And I should have left her where she was."

But he admitted her input had been instrumental in closing a lot of cases - the dirty bomb case, Simon Hoffman...Dessa. And that thought led him back to their time undercover. He'd liked "playing house" with her despite suspecting she'd rather have had someone else posing as her husband. But that case had showed him she didn't think there was anything to like about him...and that she valued Levi's opinion more than his.

He wiped the steam off the mirror and regarded his reflection. "You're an idiot, Hudson. Pining after a woman you know will never return your feelings...and it's past time to move on."

He just hoped he could.

Chapter Text

Sue stood nervously outside Jack's door, wondering what she could say to make him listen to her. She wanted to tell him that she hadn't expected David to show up, to tell him what they'd talked about, how David had stepped aside because he'd seen how Jack felt about her...and how she felt about Jack even though she'd refused to acknowledge it. "You're a fool, Sue Thomas," she said to herself. "He was right there all that time and you wouldn't see it." Finally screwing up her courage, she knocked.

Jack huffed a resigned breath at the knock on the door, not up to visitors, not even Bobby. Looking through the peephole, he saw the last person he expected and debated with himself about pretending he wasn't home.

"I know you're in there, Jack. Levi can hear you."

"Of course she has Levi with her," Jack said.

"Please. I just want to talk."

A bit reluctantly, Jack opened the door, allowing Sue inside. "What? No David?" he asked.

"David and I haven't been together for a while. You know that," Sue said. "He's the one who broke things off."

"And you're wishing he hadn't," Jack said. He saw her about to object and cut her off. "I saw how you looked at him," he said.

"You're mistaken, Jack."

"Trained observer," Jack said. "I know very well that if it's between me and someone else, you'll always pick the someone else, doesn't matter who it is. Why? Because obviously they have to be better than me."

"Jack..."

"And how pathetic was I, pretending we were on a date every time we had lunch or dinner together despite you making it perfectly clear that it was just a meal between friends? How pathetic it was for me to wish that undercover wasn't just business. You have no idea how hard it was for me to brush off those insults, to pretend they didn't hurt." He dropped to the couch, scrubbing his face. "And I wanted to tell you that no, you couldn't go to dinner with that DEA agent during the Altitecch case, I didn't want you going to that gala with David. I wanted to tell both of them to back off because you were supposed to be with me."

"Why didn't you?"

"Because you're a grown woman fully capable of making your own decisions," Jack said. "And I already suspected you'd never see me as more than a teammate, a friend. That undercover just confirmed it. I mean, you'd already decided that's all we'd be. When or why you decided to treat my feelings as a joke, I don't know and it doesn't matter."

"I never thought they were a joke," Sue said. "I told you, I was scared. I didn't know what to do with it all...but I'll always be grateful for the chance you gave me, for always being there when I needed someone."

"I didn't want your gratitude, Sue," Jack said. "I wanted you. I wanted there to be an us even though I knew it would never happen."

Sue perched on the couch beside him and said, "David told me why he broke it off with me. It was because he didn't want to stand in your way...in our way...He saw it, Jack. How you feel about me, how I feel about you even when I didn't see it myself. When I didn't want to."

"Why?"

"Blame Dan Benson, I guess. He was my first crush in school and he never saw me," Sue said. "I used to watch him across the cafeteria, look for him in the halls hoping to catch a glimpse of him so when you saw me, really saw me...I didn't know what to do. Was I imagining things? Was I imagining that this kind, handsome, charming man was really interested in me?" She sighed, looking away. "I don't know. Maybe I was testing you to see if you really were interested in me. With Scott and David...I knew it wouldn't hurt if they found someone else. I liked them but I never saw myself with them." She smiled a bit sadly. "But when you were with Rhonda, then Allie...I wished it was me," she said. "I guess that's when I really decided nothing would happen between us. It wouldn't hurt if you found someone else if we weren't together." She let out a humorless laugh. "But it did," she said. "I thought it was another Dan Benson. Some guy I had a crush on who'd end up not seeing me."

"I've always seen you, Sue," Jack said. "You were always more than just a coworker to me." Hesitantly, he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "I learned sign, not because I had to but because I wanted to. I want to show you every day that you're the center of my world. Every time I see your smile or hear your laugh, I fall more in love with you and my second to worst day was bearable because you were there. My worst day was so much better when I got you back."

"So what do we do?"

"What do you want to do?"

Sue saw the guarded look in his eyes and knew Jack half expected her to hurt him again and that gave her the courage to say, "Right now, I want to kiss you."

"You what?"

"I want to kiss you," Sue said more confidently. She waited for Jack's barely there nod before cupping his face and traced his features before bringing their mouths together. She became instantly addicted to his taste when he opened his mouth in invitation, which she immediately accepted. "That was...wow," she whispered when the kiss ended.

"Yeah..." Jack said. He would have smiled at her somewhat dazed look if he hadn't been feeling the same way.

"You know...even if the FBI had that policy...we're not coworkers anymore..." Sue said.

"So you want to be...us?"

Sue placed a hand over his heart, remembering how scared she'd been when it had almost failed him. "I was an idiot," she said softly. "Thinking I could not feel anything for you, for thinking I could find someone better when all I could want was right there in front of me...you were right there...and I'm hoping you can forgive me for what I did to you, all because I was scared and the only way I could think to deal with it all was to hurt you and push you away." She kissed the corner of his mouth and whispered, "I don't want to push you away anymore."

Chapter Text

Jack became aware of a warmth along his front and smooth skin under his hand. Experimentally, he ran his hand down, feeling the dip of a waist and the swell of a hip...then his brain came back online and he opened his eyes to a cloud of blonde hair.

He stilled, wondering if everything after Sue's arrival at his apartment was just a dream - the touch of her hand on his face, her taste as they kissed, the feel of her skin as they undressed each other, the warmth of her surrounding him as he finally made love to her, the sound of her release...the contentment as they fell asleep in each others' arms.

He was brought out of his thoughts and his arm automatically tightened around Sue's waist as she snuggled back against him. He reached up to smooth her hair back, seeing her smile.

"I like this," Sue whispered before she turned over to face him.

"No regrets?" Jack asked.

"Just one," Sue said. "That it took this long for us to get here." She brushed a kiss over his lips. "My fault I know and I hope you can forgive me for hurting you so badly. I never meant to. It was my doubts, my insecurities, not anything you did. And there's lots I like about you. You're kind, generous, protective, a safe place for me, always there when I needed someone." She smiled a little. "Not to mention charming, smart, handsome and funny..." She sobered a little but the smile remained. "And I love you," she said. "I just wish I hadn't been so willfully blind, I wish I'd let myself believe it." She traced his lips, remembering how they'd felt on hers...and everywhere else. "Do you have any regrets?" she asked.

Jack didn't reply right away as he drew the sheet away from Sue's body, running his fingers over her skin before moving down slightly to take a breast in his mouth, going with her when she turned to her back. Trailing kisses up to her neck, he held her tightly, almost afraid to believe it was real, that she was with him. "Don't change your mind," he said softly.

Sue felt the words against her skin and gently urged him up to look at her, seeing the touch of uncertainty in his eyes. "What is it?"

"Don't change your mind."

"Now why would I do that?" Sue asked, caressing his face. Before he could respond, she took his mouth, coaxing it open so she could taste him again, pressing against him until he lay on his back. After finally releasing him, she said, "I made a mistake when I pushed you away. I'm not about to make another by letting you go." She saw the uncertainty start to fade and said softly, "And I hope someday you can forgive me for what I did to you...even though I never meant to."

"No regrets," Jack said softly and kissed her. Sue's breath caught, feeling his love...and forgiveness.