Archive of Our Own

Jimin can hear the sound like the windshield of his hyung is bursting in the other room. He scoffed. He sounds happy but it's annoying to hear him laugh with others like that, tho it's with members, if it often happens it gets irritating every time.

"They are planning to do a live? Won't you join?"

Seokjin didn't tell him so he guess it's better if he won't. He listens to his hyung very well, apparently. 

"No, I'm working into something."

"Oh, working on your album?"

Jimin nodded while Taehyung told him he can call him if he decided to join the live but later on he was told they are going back to the HYBE building. He contemplates whether to join them or not, also waiting for his hyung to text him or inform him but no one slides into his dms after half an hour. He almost cursed and jogged to Seokjin before they left but decided to not make a scene that would make his hyung mad. 

This is one thing he hates the most, surely he lived already for 15 years without Seokjin and he can live another 15 years without him again but every time, just every damn time Seokjin never missed to make him feel like he could live happily without him on his side. Seokjin could go on a day without informing where he went, while he would text him daily what time he would be sleeping. It's unfair but it's nothing now compared to what he did to convince Seokjin to give him a chance. It’s just a sting but not the whole wound. Bearable enough. 

When he received the notification of the live, he didn’t hesitate to watch it. As usual, Seokjin is looking good with his long hair, black sweater and black pants. So so pretty. What made him grimace is the arrangement, he is sitting with his Hobi hyung. Jungkook on the left side next is Taehyung and Seokjin is being sandwiched between with Hobi on the last seat. 

Seokjin looks so cuddly right now and all he wants to do is call him and be back home, although they don’t live anymore, Seokjin always lets him stay in his apartment. It’s just that they are having an upcoming concert and it will be convenient for them to stay in their old apartment for a while. He just stared for Seokjin the whole live, they were being loud as usual, talking about their preparations for concert, bts being clingy, mostly that’s their love language is being physically intimate and so it doesn’t bother him Taehyung kissing Seokjin’s head, wrapping his arms on his hyung’s shoulder. He even laughed when Seokjin called Jungkook a baby. 

“Oh hyung, your hair is getting longer. It’s pretty on you.”

What’s just annoying him which has already made him guilty since earlier. Hobi has been just so touchy with Seokjin and Seokjin doesn’t even give any discomfort, they look so natural. Hobi touching his back, caressing it while Seokjin seems unfazed. They look so good especially if they do this telepathy things, if Hobi leans on the sofa, it’s like Seokjin is being magnet to do the same. If Seokjin tucked in his hair, Hobi would also touch his hair; they often do the same thing. They really seem so cool for two people who have been in a relationship, who had a past. They really did break up in a good way. What a shame tho.

He suddenly lost the happiness of watching the live despite seeing Seokjin’s beautiful face. Is this even worth trying? Jimin shakes his head after realizing what he asked himself.

“Of course Seokjin is worthy of everything.” 

When he couldn’t handle it anymore, he texted Seokjin, informing him he’s at his apartment. He checked of course the live if Seokjin tried to read his message but it just made him teared up when his screen gets louder because of their laughter. He fell asleep watching it. 

Little did he know, Seokjin shocks Taehyung, Jungkook and Hobi when he really left the live and got home after thinking they are still playing. 

Jimin felt the hand caressing his hair, “did I wake you up?” Jimin smiled.

“You came home.”

“Of course Jimin, it’s my house.” 

They stayed silent for a while, Jimin was already sitting on his bed. Seokjin on the other hand is doubting whether to ask something or just stay silent in case it would ruin the mood. 

“I’m sorry for texting you that.” 

“Are you okay? Something is bothering you?” 

Jimin would like to snuggle to his hyung’s neck and tell everything that’s bothering him, make a pity of himself but he doesn’t want to look desperate again. But seeing Seokjin coming here when he texted he’s feeling hurt, how can he not though of feeling special? But then tomorrow comes and he’s going to chase for affection again. 

They stared at each other, Jimin searching for a write word while Seokjin is waiting for him. 

“Can you stay distant from Hobi hyung for a while?”

“Can you not laugh together with him yet? Can you focus on me more? Text and call me everytime?” 

Can he even ask that? Can he even demand things because Seokjin would probably think that’s too far. They are all friends and family and he is just being overdramatic. When he couldn’t answer and he was feeling pressure because Seokjin was waiting for him to answer, he didn’t think this time. He grabbed Seokjin’s neck and devoured his lips. When Seokjin kissed him back, he started stripping their clothes. In bed is where only Jimin can take control. His hyung is sensitive to even tiny touches that he couldn’t think thoroughly every time they had sex.

“Jimin– I need to take a shower first.”

“You always smell nice hyung, let me take care of you.”

Jimin laid him down, giving wet kisses on his neck. Seokjin groaned when both their dicks touched and Jimin took the chance to grind more. He likes teasing his hyung because he easily gets red, always, all the time. 

“J–jimin, ngh– ahh stop.” 

He went back to Seokjin’s lips, inserting his tongue inside playing with Seokjin’s inside cheek and his floor mouth. He accepted before how addicted he is with Jin when the first time their saliva mixed and all he thought was Seokjin's saliva tastes too sweet, it doesn’t even disgust him a little. He was just purely eating him out while Seokjin didn’t realize how all their clothes are gone. “Wait wait.”

Jimin put his hands on both Seokjin’s head side while looking down at how beautiful his hyung is while trying to catch his breath. Seokjin looks so whiny with his puff lips and he can’t stop himself from kissing it again. He tasted like apple juice. 

“Why didn’t you join earlier? Taehyung said he asked you?” 

“I can’t talk to you while looking like this, let’s talk later.” Because Jimin is not going to waste his time talking about his shit feeling while Seokjin is underneath him, naked. He kisses Seokjin’s thighs while constantly looking at him, giving red marks since Seokjin won’t let him in his neck. Seokjin groaned as he felt the pain on his legs, Jimin licked it after sucking his skin. He did it 4 times, alternately on both Seokjin’s thighs, aside from his waist, Seokjin realized Jimin tends to spend more time on his legs, just sucking and licking them after. 

“Turn around hyung.” 

“What the– are you gonna fuck me without prepping me you–!” 

“Shh, you’re always so loud.” 

Jimin laughs while getting the lube and condom in the drawer, when he looks back and Seokjin didn’t even move a bit, he has to perform violence. He forcefully turns Seokjin’s body, now his hyung is laying on his stomach while he gets the pillow and puts it between Seokjin’s face and the bed. He almost had a precum when Seokjin took the initiative to arch his back giving hima full view of his ass and hole leading him to slap it unconsciously. 

When he hears Seokjin’s tiring groan after cumming only from his 2 fingers, it’s been 10 minutes of prepping him and hearing his moan. 

“Please just put it in.” He sounds so tired which is still sexy of him. His moans are being muffed by the pillow beneath. 

“But you told me to prep-”

“I swear to god Jimin.” Jimin’s chuckle just made Seokjin more enraged and tried to turn his back on the bed but Jimin held his waist and told him to stay still. They both moan deeply when Jimin fully put his cock, he held Seokjin’s head while starting to thrust himself. The view up there is his favorite view, from Seokjin’s hips tracing to his thin curvy waist, he wasted no time moving in and out as soon as they felt adjusted. 

When Seokjin tried to remove his hand pinning his head because he wants to breathe properly while being fucked. Jimin grabbed his both hands and held it together while fucking him. It felt good being stretched at the same time. 

“Hyung, you’re so pretty.” 

Seokjin could only groan, he arched his back more when Jimin is continuously hitting his prostate without failing. The pleasure is starting to feel too much, “slow it down at least.” 

And if Seokjin could still talk straight, he knows he is doing it wrong. Jimin grabbed upto Seokjin’s elbow, giving more intensity to their position. Seokjin shouted when Jimin didn’t amend his request and fastened his thrust even more, he tried to look back only to look down immediately because he felt coming again. 

“Hyung, ahh I’m gonna come too.” 

“Hmm, fuck…” 

Jimin let go of his arms and his waist is being held again tightly, he drowned his face to the pillow to muffled again his loud moans. They can feel both of them shaking throughout their entire orgasm. He waited for Jimin to wake from his high feeling. Jimin let go of his hips and slapped his ass for the last time before pulling out and trashing the condom. 

                                               ~•••••~

Jimin is drying his hair with his towel while Seokjin is eyeing at him walking to the bed.

"So why didn't you? I was waiting for you."

"Then why didn't you text me Seokjin."

"You didn't come when Taehyung asked you, so I thought you're tired or not in the mood."

That made him furious, there he was waiting for Seokjin to ask him and now he's turning the tables.

"Don't kid me Seokjin, you know I always ask and follow your words in these. You ignored me for days when I attended your photoshoot last time."

"But I was alone that time–"

"Are you pissing me off on purpose? Because it's really working."

"okay okay."

Seokjin grabbed his arms and asked him to lay with him in bed. "you don't have to work yourself out."

"You should ask me to join the live hyung."

"You're just really calling me hyung at your convenience, no?"

Jimin snuggled on Seokjin's neck, sniffing and giving it small kisses.

"I missed you. We were so busy, we don't eat out anymore."

"Not me though, Jungkook and I had sushi yesterday." And it was just supposed to be a joke. 

"You had dinner date with Jungkook?"

"No it's not, I– I mean he asked me to treat him to some sushi."

It's time for him to sit down again, determined to ask whatever.

"So I asked you last week to eat outside and you reasoned out we're busy and tired but give Jungkook's request seconds to say yes."

"Jimin, you know if we date and eat it would take us half a day to feel satisfied and go home, me and Jungkook just really ate, it didn't even take an hour."

"You're unbelievable. But what do I expect you'd treat a person who literally pesters you to give him a chance."

"Jimin, don't go there! You know it's not true. I gave you a chance because I already feel like it." 

"Oh whatever you say Seokjin. "

"Where are you going?"

Jimin looks for his clothes and immediately wears them. It was a good decision of him to take a shower first because he can't walk out feeling sticky.

"You're leaving. Won't you stay? It's already 2 in the morning."

"I have my car."

"Jimin we're not even done talking yet."

He didn't bother to answer because he can feel himself tearing up. Maybe more words and his voice will crack while talking. Seokjin followed him to the living room, still convincing him to stay until dawn but if he stays, he won't stop himself from getting mad and that's the last thing he wants to feel towards his hyung. 

"Thanks for letting me stay."

And he turned his back and walked out to the door. He felt guilty seeing Seokjin's face because he clearly wants to say something but chooses not to. 

He felt more bad because he was the one who texted Seokjin to come home and now just after he fucked him, he went home. A fucking asshole. All just because he felt jealous in that fucking v-live. It's not a worry actually if Seokjin and Jungkook eat out because Seokjin made a point, every time to go out, they make sure to make it worth the day, they would do everything. They will not go home until someone initiates it. 

They would go to the arcade after fulling their stomachs. Playing non stop and wasting their money on some token. Try unknown food for them and there was even one time they dared to ride in a roller coaster to see if they would really puke since they just ate. Turns out, right, they have their plastic in case they vomit on the ride. 

He went home to his apartment that morning, he checked his phone to see four messages.

from jinnie:

im sorry. lets talk pls. 

from kookliet:

Hyung! I found a great tattoo artist. 

i asked for a schedule

you like to join me in? 

He replied to Jungkook's first saying it would be great until he realizes this was the person that caused them to argue earlier, and how he's saying yes. He's so pathetic. 

He felt so exhausted and thankfully, there's still two days before their another rehearsal which is a luxury for them. Pre-concert is literally one hell of an experience although the reward is heartwarming. The fans, the army bombs that's looking like the ocean, the staffs adrenaline, the stage, busy people in the building and in the venue, everything. It is such a cool experience for them.

He didn't realize he fell asleep while looking at the ceiling. 

He woke up just the right time. He slept for almost 10 hours and it's already past lunch. He was planning to stop by one of his members apartment where he could eat because he doesn't feel like eating alone. Seokjin would really be a good person he could come up to but he was giving tantrums last time and now he felt embarrassed because, why did he have to walk away? They always sort things out the day they had a fight. Whether it's good or bad. 

"Oh shit." He frantically looks for his phone, he remembers he forgot to reply. "Where the fuck is it."

He found it under his bed and when he checked it, he almost ran outside because he has 5 missed calls from Seokjin and one from Jungkook. It's a rare occurrence to have more than one missed call from Seokjin. He tried calling his number but he frowned when he gets to his fifth call and all he heard was a voicemail after every first ring. Thinking Seokjin could just be busy or with another call, he let it slide and plans on going to Jungkook's unit.

Surprisingly, Jungkook cooked a pasta and a chicken and although kimchi isn't a perfect match for it, he found himself eating very well. He even looked for rice.

"So when can what day do you want for tattoo schedule?"

"I don't know. What about you? Wana do it before concert or after?" 

Jungkook smirked to him and he knew that smile, "think about what challenges me more?"

"Before concert it is." 

Jungkook sent them their schedule, after their 3 full day straight rehearsal and they would have a tattoo themselves. There is still half a month before the concert and it will heal just in time. Challenging part that Jungkook is saying is the stinging pain everytime they move and they sweat. 

They were just scrolling to their phones, he was watching run bts on youtube while Jungkook is scrolling to his twitter account. Jungkook let out a good laugh after seeing the video where Seokjin really went home. 

"He's so unbelievable. Do you know Jin hyung has a schedule after our live but he went home so he got a little scolding from manager Sejin."

He paused the video he's watching and stared at Jungkook. What.

Seokjin had a schedule and he went home. He went home because of him, because he texted, "hyung im so hurt right now, i wanna see you pls." Then went home after picking a fight. a real douchebag. 

Way to go to fulfill your promise to Seokjin of giving him what he deserves. 

He tried calling Seokjin's number again but almost screamed when it went to voicemail again. Why is his line busy? And he got a hint.

"Jungkook, can you call Jin hyung?"

"Why don't you?"

"Just please call him."

Jungkook typed on his phone and put it on speaker, they heard it ringing and he almost felt relief when it didn't get answer also.

"hello kook, I'm on my way, what is it?"

And Jimin could really felt a water splashing on his head. Seokjin blocked his number, that's why his call is not getting through, that's why an automated voice has been responding to him. 

"Jimin asked me to call you, here."

Jungkook handed him the phone and now he doesn't know what to say. "Yes Jimin?"

So formal, always act cool as usual. "Can you get me some jelly beans hyung?"

Seokjin said okay right away, Seokjin ended the call right away and he gave the phone back to a confused Jungkook.

"You could have just texted him."

He sat there, thinking about what he's supposed to do. This is the first time Seokjin has blocked his number, they just never really argue that long. He tries to remember thoroughly what invoked Seokjin to do this and he initially thought that what they fought about was pretty normal. All about his jealousy and all but he really felt guilty leaving that time. Seokjin went home for him, because he asked so and he left. 

Even though he wanted to talk and see Seokjin that day, he decided to go home. He was scared of what Seokjin would say. Because what if Seokjin would finally end what relationship that's been going on. That he's already tired and will always gets tired. 

Not in a sober state after drinking 5 can of beer, he tries to call Seokjin's number but again, it was an automated voice. 

"hyung, I'm sorry." He sobs on his couch,  arms in his eyes as he cries and cries that night. Murmuring sorrys and promises that he could only hear. 

"You okay hyung?"

"hmm." Hobi wipes Seokjin's sweat on his forehead. They were given half an hour break and one more song and they are good to go home. 

"You were spacing out."

"Am I?" Seokjin chuckles.

"Hobi hyung, look at this." 

Jimin went to their spot and Seokjin put down his bottle, glanced to Hobi for permission before he walked away. He went to Taehyung who's now playing piano and singing some English song.

"You've gotten better at it."

"You taught me so well hyung." Taehyung gave him his body smile and decided to sit beside him. They played both the piano and giggling after making mistakes.

"Jin hyung, it's G major!"

And the bickering goes on and on after Seokjin purposely tapping the wrong chords. It ended up both of them on the dance floor tickling each other. 

                                            ~•••••~

"Jimin?"

Hobi snapped a finger at him and he instantly looked away to the three people squeezing themselves in one couch. Of course his Seokjin hyung in between. Taehyung is constantly brushing Seokjin's hair while Jungkook is having a debate whether Seokjin should treat him to a meal or not. 

"I know you and Jin hyung are not really close with each other but why are you two more distant these days?"

Namjoon sat on the chair, seating beside him. While Hobi agreed with him. Today they decided to stay at their shared unit and didn't allow themselves to go home because this would be easier for their concert. 

So they can see too. 

"What do you mean?"

"Come on Jimin, you're not being subtle. Especially Jin hyung, he always distanced himself from you."

Jimin lowered his head. It's pretty hurtful hearing words from other people how Seokjin is obviously avoiding him. He wants to get mad but seriously what's his right.

"I just–" He played the coins on the table, "I just did something that upsets him."

"And? You're not doing anything about it?" Hobi asked him. He's sure that he just pissed off because Hobi is Seokjin's ex, but how bold of him to say that.

"You're the one to talk."

"What do you mean?"

"Hey hey–"

Namjoon tried to stop the coming commotion of the two but Hobi was already fuming up.

"You are such an asshole–"

"and so are you."

"... don't think we don't see how you're being so moody all throughout the practice. You're not the only one having personal problems Jimin so don't act as if we're having it easier than you."

"Yeah that's why you were personally attacking Jin hyung before in every dance practice because he broke up with you."

Jimin wasn't surprised with the punch that landed on his face. He knew he was being childish but he felt so fed up. 

"Fuck. Hobi let go!"

"You're really being an asshole and unreasonable, maybe you deserved why Jin hyung is ignoring you dumb ass self."

The commotion gathers the rest of the members. Suga and Jungkook were first to come to the kitchen since they are working onto something. Jungkook was quick to go on Jimin's side and stop him from raging himself. 

"Don't you think that's what you two should be doing before the concert, go on hurt your body." 

Suga puts down his laptop and tries to help Namjoon stopping Hobi from going back to Jimin. 

Taehyung covered his mouth when he glanced at the scene while Seokjin was just staring at it. 

"And you deserve why Seokjin isn't yours anymore."

Jimin was surprised when Seokjin grabbed his arms. "Come with me."

He was instantly to stand up and followed him. Seokjin sushed the members as they tried to join the conversation.

"What was that about?"

"Jin hyung… "

"Stop calling my name." 

"I'm sorry." He bows down his head.

"I asked you what was that about? Does my past with Hobi really need to be said?"

"No, I was being childish. I shouldn't have said that." 

"This is exactly the reason why I don't want to date you yet."

Jimin raised his head, like a scared cat looking at Seokjin. He's sure the older can see how his eyes are starting to glitter.

Is this it? Will he just cut me off from his life?

"Jin hyung please don't say that." 

"I don't know what's gotten in you two but you need to say sorry. You know how him and I ended up, we're doing fine right now Jimin contrary to your belief–"

"Yes! It's obvious there's still going on right?"

A mellow music from a car passing by through their apartment is being heard as they stared at each other. 

"Now you can't answer?"

"I don't even know if you really love me like the way you say it."

"What are you saying?"

"Nevermind, just go and talk to Hobi."

"What are you implying? That I lied about loving you? I like you Seokjin, so so much that it scares me all the time."

"Yes because you pick a fight to a person you love, just after you had sex with them and left them the middle of the night. It surely made them feel loved Jimin, like a slut that was left in one night stand." 

"Seokjin!"

"Oh shut up. Just go say sorry to Hobi."

"You're not a slut, and I love you. How could you say that?" 

"Exactly. How could you left me there and not answer my calls? You purposely did it, didn't you? Pick a fight with me, acting like a jealous love man to Jungkook so you have a reason to leave the house, because you already had sex with me. It's always like that right?" 

Seokjin tries to leave the room but Jimin won't let go of him anymore, no one is leaving this room until they clear this out. This is so far from what he is thinking. There's no way Seokjin have always thought this way. 

"Seokjin, I did not leave because I wanted to. I was being unreasonable that day, I was being jealous of Hobi because of the damn live. You two were being touchy, and I know that's normal but I can't help it. Why did you think I felt because of sex? You think I was using you for my pleasure?"

Jimin felt so bad after seeing Seokjin cry and wiping his tears.

"Y-you think I was using you for sex Seokjin?"

Seokjin shrugged off their arms, they heard a knock and Seokjin immediately relaxed his face. Before Jimin could stop him from opening it, Namjoon is already at their front.

"What happened? We heard a shout."

"Nothing." Seokjin stopped at Hobi's side, "Hobi, Jimin has something to tell you."

And he exited the room, he got water first to relax himself. As usual, Jimin tried to follow him but he was stopped by his hyungs. He informed everyone he's going out and while he could hear Jimin calling him, he refused to listen. 

Everyone was thinking Seokjin was mad at him because of bringing up his past with Hobi, which is why they didn't question Seokjin's anger. Jimin had already said sorry to his Hobi hyung, he's clearly wrong this time. He was just pissed off that Seokjin and Hobi still have a good relationship, despite Hobi almost cheating on Seokjin. It seems unfair but like Seokjin said, they broke up finely. There was no use to bring the past. 

Both Taehyung and Jungkook console him, giving advice on how he could compensate Seokjin but to be honest, no one is helping because they didn't know hima and Seokjin has an on going intimate relationship, that he messed up. He can't reveal it because that was one of the reasons Seokjin is not keen on continuing their relationship.

They can't have the members finding out, they still had the little trauma of Seokjin and Hobi's past. Every dance practice was a mess, Hobi was still immature, always picking on Seokjin. They had a one week break from each other that time, Bang Pd gave them the longest lecture ever since being a trainee. 

That's where he realized how always Seokjin stayed silent. Everytime Hobi would try to lecture him despite obviously being personal, he would just say sorry and nod and later on, Seokjin would ask Hobi so they could talk privately. That's how he always tries to solve problems. Seokjin was never but an intellectual individual. It took them almost one year to be normal again and he was a jerk to bring that up.

They continued practicing well for their upcoming concert, Seokjin was somewhat silent than before but always still hardworking in practicing. Jimin tries to make a move, a slow step on approaching Seokjin but he is always avoided. He tries reaching Seokjin's number on another number but he always hangs it up before he could explain. 

It lasted up to their concert, and as expected they still showcased an amazing performance. Because they could never disappoint their fans, the money and time they spent for this concert should be rewarded well. 

He was missing Seokjin everyday, looking at his cute Instagram and crumpling on his hands how adorable Seokjin is. Wearing those maple story hat, and his post concert picture. He almost liked the photo. He was shocked when he refreshed Seokjin's timeline and there was a photo posted. 

It's a photo of Seokjin and Hobi. It stung his heart, he looks so well, pretty well. They both look so dashing in their red clothes. He was starting to feel like a loser, he felt losing Seokjin. Or maybe, he wasn't his to begin with. 

"Good night." He hears Seokjin. 

He saw Hobi kissed Seokjin's forehead, they just seemed to finish talking about something. Now his night plan to talk to Seokjin is ruined. He looked at Seokjin's back and plans on going back to his room but he panicked when he saw him shaking his shoulder as if he was crying. It was confirmed when he saw Seokjin's hands wiping his face. He opened the sliding door to enter the veranda.

"Why are you crying?"

He can hear Seokjin sniffing. "What are you doing here?"

"Did Hobi hyung do something to you?"

"Nothing Jimin, go back to your room–"

"Jin hyung, I missed you so much, I can't do this anymore. Please talk to me."

It's now or never, he promised himself to get Seokjin back before they go back to Korea.

"Are you back with him?"

"You're unbelievable! And here I thought you were planning something to talk to me at least."

"I'm sorry hyung. I was– I feel so mess. Let's talk now."

"Jimin, please be honest with me. Do you like me?"

"Of course Seokjin. Why do you think I tried courting you even tho you never planned on dating any members before? I'm sorry for making you feel the worst, sorry for being so jealous every time but I can't help it, I'm trying."

"Then stop it. Let's stop doing this."

He can feel his jaw starting to hurt. His hands starting to feel numb. This was not it. This wasn't the supposedly the outcome.

"We are exactly doing the exact reason why I don't want to date you. Dating someone inside the group would just bring us awkwardness, look at what happened to you and Hobi–"

"And that will never happen again–"

"... we're not even officially dating yet and it's starting to feel a lot, it's so heavy to do practice when I'm with you, knowing that we're not okay."

"Jin hyung please, this will never happen again. I will no– we will always talk everytime we got problems, privately, I'll be more mature handling things. Seokjin please don't say that, stop requesting me to stop liking you. "

He was desperately on his knees, begging Seokjin to open his door again. This time, he won't be a mess, he won't make mistakes again.

"Jimin stand up."

Jimin hugged his legs, sobbing like a mess toddler. He will do everything, everything for them to start again.

"I won't ask you to tell the members again about us, we can keep it a secret as long as you like. Please please, give me the last chance Seokjin."

Seokjin brought him up, wiping his tears.

"I couldn't last a day more without you Seokjin, please stop avoiding me, stop ignoring me. Let me love you."

                                              ~•••••~

If you tell Seokjin that 3 years ago, Jimin would beg in front of him, kneel in front of him to accept his love, he would laugh and smack your face. Because there's no way 3 years later Jimin is nothing but a bittersweet person to him.

"I will have a 2 days stay at the building, I need to choreograph a group."

"Okay. I will attend the meeting tomorrow for the series I chose." 

"You chose? I thought I made clear you need my permission before you accept those casting."

"But it's my show Jimin, it's my work."

"And who am I in your life?" Seokjin lowered his gaze, "come on love, let's not fight for this, wait for me to be back. I love you." Jimin kissed his lips before going out. While he tried to contact the company to postpone the meeting.

When Jimin got home, he tries to stay silent, at least he will realize what he did but all it takes is a little cuddle with Jimin and he is okay.

"Seokjin, Yoongi hyung invited us for his 5th album pre release party. I had your clothes prepare."

Finally. His awaited day. Aside from he get to go outside longer than usual, he will be meeting the members again but he hides his excitement. 

"Don't you think it's too wrapped up and out of the theme?"

"There is no theme Seokjin and you're wearing it."

He had no choice but to wear it. He had a hard time dealing with his neck because there's too many marks and he had to focus on what to cover. 

As usual, Korean rappers and even foreigners are more present at the party. He was just tailing Jimin all the way because the younger wouldn't let go of his hands. Not until they saw Yoongi and had to hug and congratulate him. Yoongi even made a joke about his too much clothes but they just laughed it off. Surprisingly, they were the first two members to come, the rest were late for the exact time but there was no hard feeling at all. They are all busy. 

The room got louder indicating others are coming in. He heard Hobi's loud voice teasing Yoongi and later on they saw the other four members coming to their table. Jimin snaked his arms on his waist and pulled him closer. 

"Don't go anywhere." Jimin whispered to him. 

"Of course." He smiled at his boyfriend and just formally greeted the other members. 

"Seokjin hyung, I heard from my manager you were being offered roles in many series and movies. Your office is filled with scripts!" Taehyung happily asked him, since they both focus on the acting industry, they tend to hear more rumors of each other. 

"Yes actually–"

"He had to turn down half of it since it's mostly rated R and you know, Seokjin isn't still ready for it. Right?"

Taehyung was easily convinced although they have talked about this sometimes. Seokjin nodded and just drank his champagne. The party went well, after this major celebration, Yoongi asked them to stay so they could have their own celebration. It's been months since they gather together this long. Next month, they will attend Jungkook's photography exhibition, their youngest prepared so much for that and they all are excited also. 

"Hyung, I can't contact you. Did you block my number?"

"Sorry Hobi, I changed my number and forgot to tell you."

"That's why Jimin told me to not directly invite you last time. Give me your number." He shyly looked at Yoongi, contemplating whether to reply something or not.

"How are you and Jimin, hyung? He was always telling me before about you two but he stopped texting me." Jungkook frowned and he found it cute. Seems like the maknae will always be him. 

"We're doing fine, we will be celebrating our 3rd anniversary next month."

The conversation was normal, everybody was entertained by the story of their busy lives. Apparently, the rest of them are still single and it's just Jimin and him got to managed their relationship. He stood up and told Yoongi he has to use the bathroom, Jimin has been taking so long. When he got there, he was right of Jimin smoking again.

"Jimin, I told you if they see you again doing this you know what they'll do!"

This is the sign that Jimin wasn't having any of these. If Jimin can't argue with him, he will resort to smoking, although he had done nothing to anger the younger. 

"That's why you're here right? You'll never leave me Seokjin."

"Yes, now give me that. Here's mouthwash." 

After he threw the cigarette, he let Jimin to gargle for a few minutes and when he asked them to go out, Jimin pushed him to one of the cubicles and locked it. He was again pushed to the wall and after a second, Jimin was already kissing him. He tries to kiss him back but Jimin was so fast and eager to do something else. 

"W-wait Jimin, we can't– stop ."

"I love you so much."

"I know. I love you too."

"And I still got jealous, I don't want them looking at you like that. I don't want Hobi staring at you, them talking to you, unnecessarily touching you." He wipes Jimin's tears, he is scared again like usual if he felt like Seokjin is leaving him but he never left. He never left Jimin like what the younger would always imagine. 

"I know I know. I'm sorry."

"You're mine right?"

He kissed the younger as an answer. There's nothing to escape, he already saw the obsession that's building inside their relationship a long time ago but he kept a blind eye. It was his fault, he didn't handcraft a wall that could stop the obsession that Jimin is building for him. They are already stuck in this pathetic relationship. 

There was this one idea that signaled to him, what if he just purely loved Jimin and never pity him. 

Would he leave? Because in the middle of their relationship, when Jimin starting to act up, starting to dismiss offered roles to him that contain more nudity and not to his liking. When Jimin asked him to live with him even if he disagreed. When Jimin needed to change his number because he can't control his jealousy everytime Jungkook and Hobi would call him. It was all there. 

He has thought of leaving him, because he can't love a person anymore that's starting to hurt him. He can't continue to love a person who's slowly destroying him. If it was only pure love, he would have left Jimin a long time ago. But Jimin would always cry, say sorry that he would always forgive and forget that funded his heart a space for pity. He can't let the younger to drown in the loneliness of being left behind. All of them were doing great in their individual lives and activities, he couldn't let Jimin behind, so he joined him. 

In this bittersweet love, he joined him, because if he can't lift Jimin up, at least two of them are pulling their feet down to soak in the wet and join the gloaming mourning of two hearts that used to love each other. There was no help at all, Seokjin can live without him but he can't leave the man. This pity would come back to affection and love someday, Seokjin knew. 

All along this time, Jimin was right. Seokjin could still, and always can, live without him. Despite the love in between. Maybe love wasn't enough to make the person stay, it is if the two people are on the same page. Luckily for Jimin, Seokjin joined him in this mess.