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Before Ricky could finish what he was going to say to Gina, he was interrupted by the notification of an incoming call: it was Gina.
Ricky—
Hi—
They realized that they interrupted each other by both trying to speak at once.
You go first. After all, you called me.
Well, I called you because you called me so I think you should go first.
They both laughed. In part, because of the awkward way in which this conversation had started, but also because laughing was one of their favorite things to do together. No matter the circumstance, Gina and Ricky had missed that.
It’s actually funny because right before you called me I was going to send a stupid voicemail.
Like the one I sent?
Yours? Nah, wasn’t stupid at all. But me? I would’ve sounded like an idiot.
I promise you wouldn’t have. I don’t think anything you say will make you sound like a bigger idiot than I feel like right now.
Gina…
Ricky paused, trying to be careful of his next words. He had so much that he wanted to say, but he didn’t quite know how to say it.
Gina. You’re not an idiot, far from it. It was brave of you to tell me all of what you told me. Actually…
Over the phone, Gina audibly held her breath, as if she were bracing herself for rejection. She feared that the one time she’d put her feelings on the line, it would crash and burn. She thought that maybe she should’ve let herself just disappear like she always had. Though before these thoughts could go any further, Ricky spoke again.
I feel like an even bigger idiot for not telling you how I felt a long time ago and just letting you slip away.
Gina wanted to say something— she wanted to question what he was talking about, but instead, she let him speak. She knew what it was like to have so much on your chest that you just wanted to let it all go.
Was I mad at you for pushing me away? Sure. Was I even more mad that you left and you barely even uttered the words goodbye? Yeah, a little bit. But, I think I was more mad at myself for not saying something sooner. Believing that if I told you that I loved you before you left, that maybe somehow, you would’ve been able to stay.
Ricky…
Gina couldn’t help but try to interject and tell him that it wasn’t his fault. That if she had the choice, she would’ve stayed, and if she could’ve gone back in time, she would’ve told him how she felt sooner. She wouldn’t have been as cold. Instead she would’ve taken the chance and opened her heart to him. Though Ricky was on a roll that wasn’t going to stop anytime soon.
I remember the exact moment that I fell in love with you actually. We were in the drama room after school and I’m pretty sure no one else was there— it was just you and me. You turned on some music and you just started dancing. I could see that you were in your element, being in the drama room doing something you love. You were shining in that moment, Gi.
Ricky couldn’t see over the phone, but Gina was blushing.
I got home that night and had all these songs on my mind and all of them were about you. Not in a weird way, I promise.
Gina laughed.
You just made me want to sing.
Ricky laughed, realizing how he sounded.
Actually, I’m super sorry for saying that. It sounds utterly cheesy and musical-ly.
Musical-ly?
Like only a character in a musical would say something like that.
Is that why you insisted on showing me that song?
Not really persay, I just wanted you to hear them.
Ricky, you were telling me how you felt this entire time and I was too stupid to see it.
I mean, I didn’t even realize that I was doing that at the time, so I guess we must both be stupid.
Two idiots, what are ya gonna do?
They both laughed in a much more relaxed way than the first time.
So…
So…
Where do we go from here?
What do people do after they confess their love to one another?
And they live halfway across the country from each other?
They sat in silence for minutes partly mourning whatever they could’ve had in Salt Lake. Now, to even see each other, they would have to buy a whole plane ticket and fly across the whole country. Plus, Ricky was in his final months of his senior year and who knows where life would take him after? Neither of them would want to get in the way of each other’s futures.
You know what?
Gina finally decided to stop the silence. She was done with not taking chances. For once, she was going to make the first step.
Let’s just go for it.
What do you mean by that?
I mean, let’s still chat on the phone, Facetime when we can, text the times we can’t, and hope that sometime soon I can either earn enough money for a plane ticket or convince my mom to get one.
I hope that means you’ll be able to come to prom. I’ve been wanting to ask somebody.
Oh really?
I have.
Tell me about her.
She’s a really good dancer, practically lives off Youtube tutorials, and has a horrible taste in music.
Hey! If anyone has a horrible taste in music, it is definitely you.
You know what, we can do all the baking with my “terrible” music playing in another room when you get here.
You know what Bowen, it’s a date.