Chapter Text
The dreaded conversation they had been avoiding for months had taken place a few weeks ago. It was just as horrible as he thought it would be. How does one go about the mutual decision to be farther - not closer - to your best friend, the person you had made a commitment to love above all? How do you decide to split things - time, assets, dreams - instead of building things together like it was always the plan?
It would have been so comfortable to stay how they were. They could have probably pulled it off. But it was not the example they wanted to give their children and neither of them was ready to settle down knowing there was such a big part of them unfulfilled and this marriage wasn’t what they wanted anymore.
The divorce was underway and Rachel and Alex had agreed to only start telling people outside of their family after the publicity tour for the beginning of the show was over, thus avoiding the bulk of personal questions Alex was about to face over the next month or so.
They had 5 weeks.
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“I complain a lot, but I have to say I’m secretly happy to be back to this,” Greg said turning to Alex quite giddy. They were in the back of the car, on the way to their next interview of the day in anticipation of the new season of the show.
“Not so secret,” Alex responded trying not to smile too much at Greg’s demeanor. “You're beaming.” Alex is also not at all secretly happy to have this semblance of normalcy in his life. Greg didn’t know about Alex’s divorce, so he could just pretend everything was ok with him and he felt so… well, normal. Plus, Greg was the most fun, comfortable person to do it with.
“Nothing gets passed you, huh?” Greg gives him a big smile.
“Yes, I’m very perceptive.”
“Are you? Did you notice my new glasses?” He wiggles his face making to make the point obvious.
Yes. Yes, he did, he noticed everything about Greg. “I did?” He definitely didn’t want to come across as creepy, though.
“No, you didn’t…” Greg dismissed him.
“You look good in them.” Alex offered - still in form with their usual interaction.
“Yeah, right, like it would help deviate attention from the giant overweight man behind them."
Alex frowned. “I quite like the man. He’s very strong.”
“You weird little man” Greg said with fondness. He loved the familiar banter.
So did Alex.
Upon arriving at the radio station, they were greeted by a producer who fills them in on what they need to know for their time slot.
“Ah, by the way,” says the young girl while handing them tea while they wait, “Sonia is sick today, she won’t be the one to talk to you guys. Maggie is doing it, instead.”
Alex tries to suppress his surprise “Oh. Maggie Saunders?”
“Yeah!” The producer answers enthusiastically. "She’s fantastic too, you’ll love her. You know her?”
Shit.
“Yeah, yeah. She’s great friends with Rachel.” It’s a good thing the deadpan delivery is in Alex’s brand because he is doing a terrible job at masking his… Discomfort? Dread?
“Oh yeah, that makes sense! It’s perfect, then! It’ll be brilliant! You know you’re in excellent hands!” The producer is really enthusiastic.
They had agreed not to tell anyone for the next weeks, but there were exceptions. Alex had told Tim - he hadn’t officially moved out of the house yet, but had been sleeping on Tim’s spare bedroom a lot. Had Rachel told Maggie? This could be awkward. Plus, he was not telling people, but he also didn’t want to lie. He just wanted to avoid the subject of Rachel altogether, but it seemed impossible now.
Greg seemed not to think much of the exchange, just making himself comfortable in the little waiting room.
“I'll leave you, guys, you’re up in… twenty minutes? Someone will come pick you up.” The producer leaves them and Alex sits heavily trying to think of a strategy - he had not considered having to face this today. There’s a knock on the door one minute later.
“Hello, guys! Hi, Alex!” Maggie seemed incredibly happy to see Alex, not awkward at all about it. She came in with a big hug which he reciprocated. “Bummer for Sonia, but I’m so glad I’m here!”
“Is she ok?” Greg asked taking an interest.
“Yeah, yeah, apparently just a sore throat, but her voice is off, couldn’t come.” Alex was trying to read her - she really seemed oblivious to anything to his and Rachel’s status. “I just came in to say a quick hi before seeing you in the studio.”
“Thanks for checking in, Maggie, we’re really excited to talk to you.” Greg said nicely.
“Yes, we have to catch up,” Alex offered politely hoping she would never collect on it.
“Sure, yeah! Everything’s good with Rachel and the kids right?” Maggie never waited for the answer, though. “I should be in the studio now, guys, sorry, but I’ll see you in a bit!” She went away as fast as she got in. Everybody just waved at her.
Alex was relieved.
A few minutes later, Greg and Alex sat side by side, headphones on, mics were on. The interview was about to start.
“Hello to all of our listeners! We’re live in TX4 Radio and I’m here today replacing Sonia Hayworth - Get well, Sonia! - to interview the wonderful Greg Davies and his assistant, Little Alex Horne!”
“Hello!” Greg says in his usual shouty voice.
“Hi” Alex is restrained as always.
“So, of course, we’re here to talk about the upcoming season of Taskmaster, this amazing show that has swept our hearts! But, Alex, I have to preface this by saying, you are the husband of my dear dear friend, Rachel Horne! We used to work together and she is the nicest, sweetest person ever!”
Usually Alex is quite quick about these interviews, but he is calculating every word and he doesn’t want to give anything away. The talk of Rachel right off the bat on air has certainly thrown him off and he answers with a brief “She is brilliant, yes.” And nothing else.
Greg jumps in.
“One could say Rachel is the best thing about Alex, right, Maggie? I, myself, have said this hundreds of times. She is quite amazing, don’t know what she sees in him, honestly.”
Greg had joked about that numerous times, he even listed Rachel as one of the things he liked most about Alex at one point. Today, however, it kind of stung, even if Alex knew that Greg was not doing it on purpose.
Maggie adds “She is very intelligent, I’m sure she knew what she was doing! Never seen her take a misstep!”
“Oh, Rachel is certainly the smarter of the two, no question about that. Way easier on the eyes as well, the coolest, funniest, the heart and soul of the operation, really” Greg continues. “Plus, the kids would be lost without her, you know, with me keeping Alex to do all the tasks for me.”
“And what about those tasks!? There’s no limit to the imagination in this show!” Maggie was truly enthusiastic about it, which was so good for publicity but Alex had barely taken in a word she had said after this parade of Rachel talk. He was trying to catch up to the conversation, but there seemed to be a kind of buzz in his head. The talk of his ex and his kids made his mind go other places. He only caught the last few words of her following question.
“… wouldn’t you say it, Alex?” Maggie was looking at him expectantly.
He had no idea what she had asked.
Greg furrowed his eyebrows at him and went for the save. “Oh, I can speak for him. You have to excuse my assistant, I’ll punish him, afterwards, honestly, such incompetence.”
There were some times when they did interviews sort of in character, to attract attention, when it seemed it would be funnier and appropriate. But they usually talked about it beforehand. This time, Greg had taken things over, on full Taskmaster mode and it seemed weird, felt strangely like backstabbing. Alex felt like he needed a friend and everybody was just coming at him.
“…Little Alex has no stamina really. Just a weasel of a man. But he’s good for… time keeping of the contestants, I guess? Not much more other than admin…” Greg kept speaking, not really looking at Alex, giving his full attention to Maggie. “… so unprofessional…” he kept his rant on Alex who, by this point, only heard excerpts of sentences.
Alex had gotten in some kind of mental state in which all of the banter that he always encouraged seemed very personal. For some reason, he went to a strange place in his head where the insults seemed directed at him. It all seemed very unnecessarily harsh this time around.
He was considering his options. They were live, he couldn’t really leave or start over. He had to get back in the game, but he honestly felt like he was going to cry if he heard one more insult from Greg - he didn’t think he’d be able to get a word out now without coming across as unhinged. He had his head bowed down and was breathing heavily.
All of a sudden, he feels a big hand on his knee giving it a squeeze. Alex looked up at Greg with sad eyes and sees Greg cover the microphone and mouth to him “Are you ok?" while Maggie was reading a quote from an article praising the show.
Alex just blinked at him, not sure how to respond, but it was all Greg needed to know. He kept his hand on Alex’s knee rubbing his thumb there.
“Alex…” Maggie was going to direct the next question to him, trying to give him an opportunity to talk since he hadn’t said anything about his own show. Alex looked at Greg pleadingly and Greg intervened.
“Maggie, Alex’s punishment actually starts right now, he’s not going to speak for the next minutes. You can ask me whatever you want.” Greg said, while squeezing Alex’s knee - Alex was grateful for it.
The interview went on. Greg’s soothing motion on his knee brought him back, grounded him and he heard Greg conduct the interview stellarly, as usual. He didn’t insult Alex again, actually, just raving about the overall production of the show, leaving his persona for a bit.
Maggie started wrapping up the interview, Greg said some last words and ended with “Alex, you can say goodbye.”
“Goodbye” Alex said quickly.
“Good. Thank you so much for having us, Maggie.” And with that, Maggie closed the interview calling for commercials as they removed the headsets.
The mics were closed when Maggie started “Your dynamic is so funny! I didn’t expect that! Not sure it’ll come across properly on the radio, though…” Apparently completely oblivious to the fact it was not really a bit.
“It's a strange little show with strange little people” Greg joked. “Sometimes, giant people,” he said looking at himself. “Thank you again for having us Maggie, and stepping in for Sonia. We always love talking about Taskmaster” Greg said, already saying his goodbyes.
“Thanks, Maggie” Alex was able to offer. “I hope it went ok despite my lack of words,” he said blushing a bit and offered her a hug.
Maggie reciprocated the hug: “Tell Rachel I said hi! I’ll call her and catch up!”
Alex gave her a faint smile and they were again ushered by the producer who kept saying how great it all was and how much of a fan she is but now neither of them was paying much attention. They grabbed their things, thanked her and got in the elevator in silence.
Walking down the building’s hall, Greg said “I know a restaurant nearby, can I buy you lunch? We still have a couple of hours until our next appointment.”
Alex pondered but he sure couldn’t go on for the rest of an entire day of interviews without saying anything. “Yes, sure.”
They let the driver know and headed for the restaurant. It seemed discreet enough. You could leave it to Greg to know what were the best places to eat in Central London.
They sat across from each other. Alex ordered first and gave back the menu to the waiter placing his elbows on the table and his face on his hands as if bracing himself for the conversation. When the waiter went away, Greg started.
“Alex, I’m so sorry…”
Alex’s head snapped up immediately. That was not the conversation he was expecting to have.
“… it was unprofessional of me, we didn’t agree before on how we were going to do things. I regret saying all of that in there, we were not even in costume. We totally should have discussed it before. I need you not to be cross with me, please, forgive me. I can’t stand to have you being mad at me.”
Alex was at a loss for words. It did feel amazing to have his friend back - sweet, caring Greg - but he expected to be questioned - not to be asked for forgiveness. Greg had been harsh, sure, but it had happened many times before with Alex’s consent. It wouldn’t be that much of a stretch for Greg to assume he could say those things. Alex knew he was overly sensitive due to the circumstances of his life and that maybe he was in worse shape than he thought.
Greg didn’t know about it and Alex couldn't share any of it yet. He wanted to honor his deal with Rachel and also just keep Greg out of it for now, keep him as his safe haven to make things seem normal. It was enough to have shared it with Tim already who he loved so dearly and would never push him to talk about feelings. He would just fill the silence with nonsense which was exactly what Alex wanted.
“So?” Greg pleaded. “Am I forgiven?”
“Greg, no, there’s nothing to forgive, you did nothing wrong. I was just a bit out of myself today, just, problems…” he gestured vaguely.
“What's going on?"
“Humm… nothing that you need to worry about. Can we leave this behind? Can we just go to the next interview and leave the Taskmaster dynamic for another day, maybe? I don’t want to abandon it altogether, but just not today.”
“Of course. Anything you want.”
“I'm sorry too, for shutting down. I don’t know what happened there, thanks for rescuing the interview. And me, I guess.”
“No way, you don’t apologize for anything. Not accepted.” Greg said with compassion in his eyes, so glad to be back in good graces with his friend.
Greg stood up and went around the table to sit beside Alex at the booth. He enveloped Alex in one of his famous bear hugs and Alex melted as he held on tight. It was like Greg knew exactly what he needed. It felt so comfortable, he felt so protected. Nothing bad could happen within this Greg-shaped cocoon.
Greg kissed the top of his head and whispered: “I'll just forget decorum one more time today and forget you’re my boss for 10 more seconds, but I have to say this: you are an amazing human being, Alex. You’re the kindest, most wonderful person I know. I am lucky to be your friend and I love you.”
Alex teared up a bit after that. It had such an impact, it meant so much coming from Greg and it validated his feelings in a much needed way. He just felt this surge of affection and was so glad to be overcome with that feeling compared to the awful days he had just gone through.
Greg saw the waiter approaching with their food and began to let go, but Alex held on.
“A bit more. I need an extension on the 10 seconds” he asked. Greg chuckled and was glad to comply.
Greg gestured for the waiter to just leave the plates and drinks as he rubbed Alex’s back up and down. He didn’t care they were in public and just rested his own head on top of Alex’s.
————
Much later that same day, a photo taken by someone at the restaurant was making the rounds on Reddit and the link was forwarded to both of their Twitter accounts. It was sort of blurry, but you could make out that Greg was reaching out across the table to take fries off Alex’s plate. The comments were hilarious - just went from general fan-girling over their interaction, to the weirdest reconstitution of facts according to whoever was posting - all incredibly inaccurate - a lot of them very sexual - which, ok, over fries? Their fans were big into BDSM.
Alex texted the photo to Greg with the message Evidence you are the potato-stealer.
To which Greg responded Like you need evidence, I own up to that shit.
In the end of the day, the photo was harmless enough, it could have been much worse and prompt him to do a lot more explaining. This photo seemed actually very sweet and he saved it to his phone. It was also evidence he had a friend in Greg.