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“How could you have just stood there? Why didn’t you stop him?”
Well… that’s a big question isn’t it. It wasn’t because I was frozen from fear, no. Perhaps initially I was but it was actually because Gai-Sensei had told me to sit back from this fight.
Gai-Sensei. My mentor. The ninja who has brought me up to where I am now, was going to die right before me. The only shinobi who had faith in me. I wanted to yell and scream until my lungs stung. Up until that very moment, I had never felt so angry and frustrated. Why was I not stronger? Why couldn’t he have let me help him? Why am I never enough? I had felt a cold, cold hand clutch my glass heart. This felt like Neji all over again.
Then it hit me.
This is Might Gai we’re talking about. A man of youth. The same man who had reminded me of my worth, without fail,every, single, time, I had forgotten. My beloved sensei who had taught me to not only love every single bit of me despite the circumstances, but had also shown me what a true Nindo was.
In that split second I felt everything come back to me. All these memories of training with Gai-Sensei, Tenten and even… Neji. They were flowing through me like a river. I was overwhelmed, letting go of the breath I didn’t even know I was holding. I could see them in golden, smiles plastered on their faces. It was as if a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Before I knew it I already had waterfalls coming out of my eyes. Whatever doubt that was festering in me… Poof! Just like that. I looked at Gai-sensei and it was as if he was emanating a warm, reassuring aura that shined like gold.
It was in that second I had realised that Gai-sensei was not dying for nothing. He is a Jonin and he knew his limitations better than anyone else. He was not rushing into battle recklessly. This was a calculated move. Gai-sensei knew the consequences and weighed them in his head.
How could I have been so selfish? At that moment, I finally understood Neji. To feel a close bond, to love someone so much you would risk everything for them. I finally realised that if I were in Gai-Sensei’s shoes, I would do the exact same thing… I could never explain how he looked at that moment. But if you were to look into his eyes, they would not be filled with desperation or despair. In fact, it had sheer determination.
It was as if the flaming power of youth itself had possessed him.
I didn’t realise this until after but Gai-Sensei had so much love for the village. I can’t help but continue to admire it… Gai-Sensei had built up all of his strength up to now not only for himself, but to protect his loved ones. To help them achieve their hopes and wishes. That? That was Might Gai’s dream.
And who was I to take away a dying man’s last wish?