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Sophie's phone vibrates and she reaches over to the night stand on her left without lifting her head to look. Everything feels foreign. The table is too low and far away. She can normally reach her phone without even extending her arm. She finally turns, because feeling around is becoming frustrating with the haze of sleep still making her limbs feel heavy. And then she understands and remembers why nothing is as it should be. She didn't go home last night. The ringback on her phone jolts her to rush before she wakes her sleeping neighbor.
Sophie smiles when she sees who the text is from. It's not like Ryan never texts her, but everything is different now. Their texts are no longer terse and obligatory.
Ryan cell: Mary made a big deal about me and Luke being on time to her graduation, yesterday. Passing the message along so you don’t have to get an earful too.
It is 7AM. Sophie can’t remember when she fell asleep, but she knows she didn't mean to stay this long.
Sophie cell: She's pretty bummed Kate's not coming. Maybe we should do something to cheer her up.
She kind of owes Mary, anyway. After Mary saw Alice, she called Sophie to unload, and they were supposed to hang out last night, but then Sophie ended up here.
Ryan cell: I'm down. Whatcha got in mind?
Sophie's alone time with her phone is up. She feels Deja roll towards her and wrap her arm around her lower back.
D: “Hey you.”
S: “Hey…”
Sophie blacks out her screen, and looks over at Deja.
D: “Last night was fun.”
S: “Mhm, but I gotta get going. My friend needs me.”
D: “At seven in the morning?”
S: “Yeah, doctors keep weird hours.”
Sophie figures this was close enough to the truth, considering it was Mary’s graduation day. She sits up and scans the room for her clothes.
D: “She's a doctor?”
S: “Yup!”
She doesn’t want to be rude, but she knows Ryan is waiting for a reply from her, and if she takes too long to respond, she could get pulled away, and who knew how long it’d be before they could finish this conversation. She sees a pile not far from the bed, and gets up to pick through and collect her clothes.
Ryan Cell: Want to meet at the loft later?
Sophie looks back at her phone, and see’s Ryan’s follow up text.
D: “Well, call me later. Maybe we can meet up.”
S: “Super busy day, so not sure I can. I’ll text you though.”
Sophie Cell: Yeah! 11ish?
She hurries towards the bathroom, without waiting for a response from Deja, so she can get dressed and finish replying to Ryan.
Ryan Cell: Cool. I’ll bring the drinks. Gotta go see Alice first, anyway.
Sophie Cell: I’m sure we’ll need drinks, then.
Ryan Cell: Right 🙄
Sophie Cell: Good luck!
~~~~~
Riley Cell: Hey! I'm heading to this party tonight if you want to come with?
Sophie has just picked up her phone to call the Gotham City Vital Records to try and track down Ryan's birth certificate when she sees the missed text from last week's girl, as Mary described her. Talk about speaking things into existence.
Sophie Cell: Can't tonight. Thanks for the invite.
She'd already ditched Mary for a girl once. She is trying not to make it a habit.
Riley Cell: Am I ever going to see you again?
S: Damn.
Sophie doesn't know if she prefers the direct approach or if it just makes her feel pressured. In any case, she did have fun with Riley.
Sophie Cell: Maybe tomorrow, or this weekend.
Riley Cell: Can't tomorrow.
She doesn't have time for this back and forth. She wants to figure this out before she has to go get changed and meet everyone at the auditorium. She doesn't want Ryan circling the drain on some seed Alice planted for longer than necessary.
Sophie Cell: Saturday?
Riley Cell: Where? Time?
Sophie: The Hold Up, 9pm
At least Sophie knows all of the exits if things go south.
~~~~~
As Sophie bunches up her hair, trying to figure out if she wants some of it down or all of it pinned back, she rehearses delivering the news about Ryan's mom to her. She'd really hoped Alice was just being imaginatively cruel, but what would even be the reason for that? Spite and boredom wouldn't cause Alice to spin up that specific of a lie. And with that, she figures Ryan will be less shocked and more hurt by this confirmation. No part of Sophie wants to deliver more pain to her. Maybe hurt wouldn't be the only feeling she felt, though… Ryan did wonder if she had a family out there. So, it was possible this wasn't bad news.
They'd grown and even bonded since Sophie told Ryan she'd proven herself to Gotham and everyone else. Any walls Ryan had prior to that seemed to fall completely, after. It meant a lot that Ryan trusted her with this and, even if that meant Sophie had to be the one to dim that bright light in her eyes, she was ready to help Ryan through this in any way she could.
Supporting Ryan has actually become a role Sophie takes pride in. They'd both worked so hard to get here, somehow continuing to show up for each other even with everything suggesting they should stay apart - how many times had they saved each other? Their lives may have told them they were too different, but the stars or heavens, or whatever had other ideas, because that wasn't their story.
She thinks back to the night of the blackout, when Ryan needed a reminder that she was more than enough, as Ryan Wilder, without the suit. That she'd made the suit what it now is to Gotham, and not the other way around. They'd seemed to share a moment, then. Sophie was ready to go into battle by Ryan's side like they'd done before, but this time with all cards on the table, and it looked as though that meant something…and then the city went to hell, and Ryan changed the plan, asking Sophie to stay back. Sophie is prepared to keep showing up, though, and this feels like an important moment to do that.
Her mind wanders to Ryan's reaction about Deja, who Sophie still hasn't texted, because she's not exactly sure when she'll be free again, now that she's made plans with Riley, and if she even needs plans with both of them yet. Hearing that Sophie was dating more than one woman seemed to surprise Ryan. More, though, Ryan seemed taken aback by Sophie not trying to make things work with or pining after Kate.
The truth is, she's not sad, and she wonders if it looks like she's trying to distract herself from a breakup by busying herself with dates and one night stands. However, after Sophie had time to sit with it, she realized she wasn't really that upset about Kate leaving. All of her feelings about Kate had been jumbled up by the idea that Kate might have died, which was a heartbreaking thought in and of itself, but also that there'd never actually be any closure if that was the case. But she'd mourned all things related to Kate when they thought they were burying her.
Kate actually being alive was as confusing as it was a relief. She'd had this letter professing love, and she felt she had to do something with and about that…but when Kate said she was leaving, it wasn't this earth shattering thing. It, too, came with its own kind of relief, because being with Kate felt like moving backwards in time. Everything in Sophie's life was changing, and while very ambiguous, it felt healthier and more stable. Kate and Sophie were all they'd had in Point Rock, but Kate wasn't all Sophie had anymore.
She could understand Ryan's confusion, after having told her Kate was the love of her life and asking Batwoman to help save her. Then, Ryan watched her get all dressed up to try and jog Kate's memories. Really, a part of Sophie just wanted to show Kate what she'd missed out on, or perhaps to remind herself that she was a catch, and that any woman would be lucky to have her. Whatever the outcome with her ex, she was going to be fine. She just wanted both of them to be alive and well. And so, there were no more tears or sad days lost over her undercover college romance. They'd had their time, and that chapter was completed, better than she'd originally imagined.
Sophie wonders if Ryan feels bothered about working so hard to help Sophie get her ex back only for her to have moved on so quickly. Maybe they'd have to have a follow up chat about this sometime. She doesn't want Ryan thinking she's flippant about people she's supposed to love. Ryan's made her feelings about loyalty pretty clear, especially when they were not seeing eye to eye about Ryan's ex, Angelique.
Sophie's done pinning half of her hair up, having decided to leave some of it to fall down her back. It's time to celebrate Mary, but also time to face the music and bear this news. Sophie has a feeling this is going to be an interesting night.
~~~~~
Sophie was more right than she thought was possible. Anticipating an interesting night was really an understatement. And Ryan did look hurt by the news that her birth mother had chosen to erase the possibility of ever being a part of Ryan's life. That was above and beyond the typical closed adoption. But this was Gotham, and there could be any number of reasons to do such a thing. Now, after saving Mary's mind-controlled classmates and her professor from certain death, and attempting to still celebrate their friend's major accomplishment, they sit at a table in The Hold Up, while Ryan shares why she's decided to pass on finding out who her mother is.
R: "My whole life, I wanted a family. I wanted answers. I wanted to belong to someone and for someone to belong to me. But that look in Liam's face today, when Alice wasn’t who he needed her to be, it's not worth it. I'm good."
Ryan slides the envelope containing her mother’s name over to Sophie. Sophie takes the envelope and places it back into her purse.
S: "Then consider it out of your life."
Ryan looks lighter and appreciative. She’s comfortable with her choice. She gently places her hand atop Sophie’s.
R: “Thank you for today. Seriously, for everything.”
S: “Of course, Ryan. Anything you need.”
Ryan looks like she might believe her when she says that.
R: “Drink?”
S: “Definitely.”
Ryan gets up, and walks over to and around the bar to fill their glasses with Sophie’s favorite drink. She brings the bottle with the glasses back with her, and sets everything down on the table before retaking her seat.
R: “I gotta say, I’m impressed.”
S: “With my hacking skills?”
R: “That you look as good as you did when I first saw you tonight.”
Sophie chokes on her drink, and Ryan laughs.
R: “I mean your outfit. You were standing over a man whose chest was literally cracked open, dressed in all white, and I don’t see a single spot of evidence. No strands out of place or anything.”
S: “Doesn’t mean I’m not rushing into the shower as soon as I get home. That was a lot!”
R: “Crazy day. So much for cheering Mary up with decorations and girl time this afternoon. Did you see Kate sent her something?”
S: “I didn’t.”
R: “So you guys really don’t talk?”
Sophie shrugs.
S: “Not since she left.”
R: “And you’re okay with that?”
S: “I am.”
Ryan lifts her eyebrows like she did in the loft earlier, and takes a sip of her drink. No time like the present to clear the air.
S: “When I thought she’d died, that was…hard, for obvious reasons, and because it seemed like we’d left things unresolved. When we found her, I was just so happy that she was okay, but it didn’t take long for me to figure out that’s all there was. I was dating Julia before we lost her, and I wasn’t missing Kate. When she disappeared, my gut told me she was alive, and then she’d written me this letter... It doesn’t matter, but it just made everything confusing. When she said she was leaving, and it didn’t hurt, I realized I wasn’t confused anymore.”
R: “I get it.”
S: “You do?”
R: “Yeah…when you’ve got history with someone, it’s hard to know if your feelings are based on memories of what you had and ideas of what you could be or if it’s really what you want and need.”
Sophie figures Ryan is probably reflecting on her most recent rerun with Angelique. They both seemed to have some trouble with leaving the past where it belonged.
S: “Right.”
R: “So Deja? Or is it Riley?”
S: “Are you judging my hot girl summer?”
R: “Not judging. Maybe a little jealous.”
Sophie's eyes widen, and Ryan looks sheepish, like she’s been caught.
R: “Damn, I did it again. I mean, because this suit acts like a damn chastity belt. I don’t even know how I would date.”
S: “You’ve just got to find someone you trust enough to let them in.”
The way Ryan's eyes settle on Sophie’s, like she might really be seeing her for the first time, gives her unexpected butterflies. Because, it’s not actually the first time Ryan’s given her that look. It calls back to that same memory from the blackout, when Ryan understood that if she fell, Sophie would be there to catch her, but that Sophie also knew she wasn’t going to fall.
Just then, Ryan’s phone buzzes. She pulls it out of her blazer pocket.
R: “It’s Luke. Someone turned on the bat signal.”
S: “Duty calls…”
Ryan finishes her drink, and reaches over to give Sophie’s hand one more quick squeeze in appreciation before hopping up and heading out. Sophie watches as she walks away. Ryan really was someone special…