Chapter Text
Selene had a tremor in her right hand. It had been that way for four years now, but it had only been in the past two months that her left foot had also begun to tremble and shake constantly. She was starting to walk with a limp. No one noticed, of course, because she glamored it away. But yesterday she had fallen. She was walking with Winter in her cousin's menagerie, and she had fallen. Only her cousin's love could convince her to go through the humiliation of a doctor's visit. And now she was here.
"Princess," Dr. Eliot said, "please remove the glamor from your limbs."
Annoying, but necessary.
She examined Selene's foot; held it and felt it shake.
"Do you have a persistent cough, Your Highness?" she asked.
"No."
"Hm. I want to run some blood tests, if that's alright with you?" she asked.
"Whatever you need," Selene replied mildly. She hated being here, she hated doctors.
"Actually," Dr. Eliot murmured, "would you mind removing the glamor from your face as well? I'd like to check your muscles there."
"Fine," Selene huffed. She waved her hand in front of her face as if wiping something away.
"Your Highness, this problem seems to have reached your eye as well," Dr. Eliot said. "I do not remember it being, er, askew like this in your childhood. Has it been off-center long?"
"I don't know!" Selene shouted. "I don't use a mirror, you idiot!" She took a deep breath. "I'm sorry; I should not have yelled."
"It's quite alright," Dr. Eliot said. "This must be very stressful for you. I'll figure out what's wrong, princess. I'm going to order a few body scans for now."
"Thank you, Doctor," Selene said. She glamored her voice to sound sweet and grateful, instead of frustrated and screechy.
"We should have answers in a few days."
*****
Selene watched as Winter washed her hands for the fourth time.
"There's no blood, Winny," Selene assured her.
"I know, I know," Winter said impatiently, "but I have to get it off."
"Do you want me to wash them?" Selene asked. "Maybe they won't get clean because your hands are already dirty."
"Okay," Winter said.
Selene gently massaged Winter's immaculate hands under the volcano-heated water. The palace was built above a system or regolith caves, and a lunar-thermal energy plant was just a mile away. The volcano had been created in a second era war.
"Why is there so much blood in the halls," Winter asked.
"Do you think my mom is haunting you?" Selene asked. She knew the real reason for Winter's hallucinations, but she was genuinely interested in whether Winter was "seeing" Queen Channary.
"Why would Queen Auntie haunt me?" Winter asked.
"That's the latest rumor. That she's haunting the palace because Aunt Regent didn't give up the throne when I was thirteen like she was supposed to."
When Selene was twelve, Levana had gotten the council to change the law. Selene had supported it at the time, wanting to focus on learning until she was eighteen. In return, she'd been sitting on the council since she turned thirteen. It was meant to smooth the transition from Levana's regency to Selene's rule.
"Are your hands clean now?" Selene asked.
"Yes," Winter said. "Thanks, Leeny. I'm having a bad day."
"Do you want me to see if Auntie will put Jacen on guard outside your room tonight?"
"He's with Thaumaturge Mira on a trip," Winter said glumly.
"What?" Selene asked. "I'm supposed to be told when he's sent out of the capital, let alone off the moon! Where's Auntie? This is a disgusting lapse in service."
"She's in a council meeting," Winter said. "A few scientists from a committee or project are talking."
Selene's heart stopped. "The council? Without me? They never meet without me. I'm so sorry, Winter, I have to go. Those scientists must think I'm snubbing them."
"I'll be here," Winter said, "feeding my animals."
Selene did her best to run to the council room, but she quickly became frustrated by her pace. She hoped Dr. Eliot found what was wrong soon.
When Selene got to the council room she was out of breath, and she felt like screaming. She forced herself to take ten deep breaths. She glamored on a smile.
"Please excuse my terrible tardiness. I had my annual check-up with Dr. Eliot."
"We pray for your health, Princess," Thaumaturge Aimery said.
"Your prayers are appreciated, though unnecessary," Selene said. "Thank you for joining us today while Thaumaturge Mira is traveling. Thaumaturge Haddon, please continue with your presentation."
"Thank you, Your Highness. As I was explaining, we currently only have enough antidotes to cure one tenth of letumosis cases on Earth, which is nearly one third of total letumosis cases in the Eastern Commonwealth. Production is going well, but Thaumaturge Mira had hinted to me that you might want to start distribution soon?"
"Yes," Levana said. She wore auburn hair and pale skin with her glamor now, but Selene fondly remembered the days when she wore the glamor of a dark-skinned beauty. That was before Uncle Evret died. Selene knew that Levana wasn't black under her glamor, not was she white. She was closer to Selene's own brown shade, like Queen Channary before her. As for the rest, no one knew. Winter said not even Evret knew, and Selene believed her. Not enough people believed Winter anymore.
"In two months," Levana continued, "I plan on sending Thaumaturge Mira to the Commonwealth to assess the situation and whether the time is right to offer vaccines to Emperor Rikan. I want to have at least enough vaccines to cure half the cases in the Commonwealth."
"Yes, your majesty. There is one more matter I would like to alert you of. There was a minor rebellion in one of the outer sectors. A town was refusing to relinquish five shell infants. I used the soldiers you assigned to us, and the rebellion ended in two weeks."
"That's news I like to hear," Levana said. "Look how smoothly things run when everyone does their job. Please make sure everyone involved in the rebellion is executed, and report to Princess Selene and I when it is done. We will find an appropriate favor to gift you with."
"Thank you, Thaumaturge Haddon, for protecting the kingdom," Selene said.
"It is my pleasure, your majesty." He bowed to Levana. Selene waited for him to now to her. He didn't. Worse still, Levana didn't make him, like she would have only two months ago.
She refused to show embarrassment or to draw attention to it herself like a child would. She was sixteen now. Still, insulting.
"If that is everything, Thaumaturge Haddon, you may go." Levana turned to the council. "Now I'm sure you all have questions about Thaumaturge Mira's scheduled trip to the Commonwealth."
"Your majesty, I do not mean to disrespect you -"
"Then don't," Selene interrupted. "My aunt has ruled you justly for fifteen years. You have prospered under her rule. You are here to advise her, not belittle her."
Levana smiled at Selene. She reached across the table to hold her hand. "Thank you." She turned to her councilman. "Please, continue."
"Your Majesty, your regency ends in two years. Maybe Emperor Rikan has refused your generous offers because he would prefer a match between his son, Prince Kaito, and our own Princess Selene."
The room was silent. Selene had always admire the way her aunt used the silence to find exactly the right thing to say. She was masterful.
"That would be high aspirations for an Earthen, even an emperor. Princess Selene is Lunar's greatest resource - it's future. I am reluctant to put my niece in control of the Earthens for any amount of time."
The councilors looked to each other. Selene looked to Levana.
"Your Majesty," she breathed quietly. Suddenly, the room was hers. She almost never addressed her aunt so formally. "Your Majesty, I understand and agree with your verdict. While Prince Kaito and I are well-matched politically, I believe that your own offer of marriage is a more sound one. You and Emperor Rikan are well-matched in that no children of your union would be direct heirs, and in two years, you will be in a unique position to control Lunar interests on Earth - whether or not you reside there. As for myself, I do not care to rule the Commonwealth. I am concerned with what is best for Luna. I am also mistrustful of an Earthen having too much political power on Luna. I understand that Thaumaturge Mira is going to the Commonwealth in two months. Let me go one or two weeks before her and convince the royal family that your generous offer is in their best interests. I will find the root of their reluctance and destroy it."
Behind her veil, Selene could just make out Levana's smile.
"You are such a caring niece," she murmured softly. "You must think of every Lunar as if they were your beloved family." Levana straightened herself. "I agree to this idea. Thaumaturge Mira represents my interests well, but she is politically tied in ways that you are not. She can show you how to be a diplomat. Until she arrives, do not take action. Find out what you can, but wait for Sybil. She has never failed me, and she will show you how to be a stunning ambassador."
Selene stood and curtsied. "Thank you for your confidence, Your Majesty."
*****
Selene lay in bed, watching her hand shake. Was it just her, or were the corners of her nails starting to turn black?
A decisive-sounding knock at the door. Glamor up. "Come in," she called.
Levana walked in and left her guard at the door. She said nothing, but she say next to Selene's head and began to stroke her hair.
Levana was not an affectionate person in public. She never had been. She had taught Winter and Selene that the station of Princess (and especially Queen) required a level of decorum that was almost heartbreaking. But Levana always made up for it in private. She showered the girls in gifts, made sure to give them extra hugs, let them drag her into tickle fights. Winter told Selene that she hadn't been like that before Evret died. Now she was trying to give them enough love for two parents.
"I heard from your doctor," Levana said. "She told me you have some sort of shaking sickness."
"It's scary," Selene said slowly, "but I am confident in her skills."
"If you are truly sick, you needn't carry out your council duties," Levana said softly. "I know you enjoy them, but they can be taxing."
"For now, I am fine. Let's wait for a diagnosis."
Levana leaned down to kiss her forehead. "Don't die, Selene. You are Luna's brightest star."
"I love you," Selene whispered.
"I love you, too. Your friend Jacin has returned."
Selene got off her bed quickly. "Thank you for telling me. Do I have permission to see him?"
"Yes."
"Thank you, Auntie."
Jacin would already be at the guards' quarters, changing into his moonside uniform. He would be expecting her; it was too late for him to expect Winter.
Selene waited outside the guards' quarters. One guard stepped out, looked at her, then stepped back in. Jacin was out two minutes later.
"Your Highness," he said with a bow.
"Good to see you back. I hope you're not too tired."
"I always have time for my princess."
Selene smiled. He only referred to her as "the princess". "My princess" was Winter.
"Good. She had a bad day. I had a council meeting, so I couldn't stay with her as long as I would have liked."
"Blood hallucinations?"
She nodded. "She's going to talk to her doctor - the specialist. Hopefully he can give her new antipsychotics."
"How many more are there?" Jacin asked. "Eventually, they're going to run out of medications to try."
"Walk with me." Selene waited until they were far down the hall. "Jacin, where did you go with Thaumaturge Mira today?"
"You're allowed access to all information, right?" Jacin asked.
"Yes, the law that extended the Regent's Rule also granted me access to whatever information I want."
"Okay. She took me to a satellite where a shell lives."
"A shell? I thought we were just keeping them to make vaccines."
"Yeah. Sybil was getting blood samples to make more. But she lives on a satellite because she is Lunar's top spy."
Selene laughed. "You're joking. A shell? We're using shells to spy on Earth from space?" She frowned. "That poor girl. What does she do?"
"She creates programs to record video and audio of Earthen politicians. She hacks into their files. She hides our ships from being detected by Earth. She's your age."
Selene whistled. "She must be very accomplished. Can you get me the satellite's coordinates and travel route? Actually, no. Just take me there."
"I can't just take you there," Jacin said. "I'm assigned to Thaumaturge Mira."
"Well," Selene said slowly, "we have a couple of options. I could ask Sybil for the information and say it's relevant to my trip to the Commonwealth, but I don't want her to know I'm snooping. Or we could go on your day off."
"Winter and I were going to surprise you with a picnic."
"Oh," Selene said. "Well then of course we can't go."
"Why don't we just sneak out in your ship?" Jacin asked. "We'll say I'm teaching you to pilot."
Selene thought about her trembling hand. "Yeah. Sure."
"Two nights from now?"
"That sounds good."
They had arrived at Winter's hallway. Selene fell silent. Two guards were outside Winter's door. There were always two guards, even when the princess wasn't there.
Selene knocked.
"Come in, Leeny."
Jacin followed her in.
"Jacin," Winter cooed, "you're back."
"Yeah." He sat on the bed. "I heard your meds stopped working."
Winter adjusted the silk scarf over her head. "I guess. I'm seeing the doctor tomorrow. Selene is seeing the doctor, too. We're sick, sick girls."
Jacin glanced at Selene. She could feel his worry flicker for just a moment, then it was gone.
"You'll be okay. You have great doctors."
"I wish you didn't have to work," Winter said. "You could stay with me and play all day."
"Can you show me a glamor?" Jacin asked. "Just a little one. No one has to know."
Winter shook her head.
"But think about how funny it would be if I had a pig nose," Jacin said. "I'm not strong enough to do it myself."
"A pink pig nose?" Winter asked.
"Yeah."
Winter reached up and wiped her hand across his face. The snout was bigger than his real nose, and it was very pink next to his white face.
Winter giggled. "You're so cute!"
"Give Leeny one," Jacin said.
"Leeny can do her own," Winter said quietly. She rolled over, and Jacin's pig nose disappeared.
"Do you want me to go?" Jacin asked. "Guard your room for a little bit?"
"Just until I sleep," Winter said. "Don't let any Thaumaturges in."
Jacin stood and bowed.
"Do you want me to go, too?" Selene asked.
"Stay," Winter said. "At least until I'm asleep. Then you can tell Jacin to go."
"He can probably hear you snoring all the way out there, Winny," Selene said.
"I don't snore that loud!"
"You do. You snore like an elephant."
Winter laughed. "Stay anyway. You can hold my hand."
*****
Selene lay still. She had never had an MRI before, but the big metal tube she was in made her feel claustrophobic. She was used to the entirety of space being before her – she’d never been so confined before. She closed her eyes and thought of Jacin, guarding another council meeting Selene hadn’t been told about until it was too late her reschedule her doctor’s appointment. Levana had reassured her that her health was far more important than whatever glitch Thaumaturge Mira had hit, but it hadn’t made Selene happy. Why was the doctor telling Levana anything at all? She was Queen Regent, but she wasn’t entitled to Selene’s medical files, and she hadn’t been since Selene turned thirteen. Had Levana bribed Dr. Eliot? Or one of her assistants? Surely, it could not be Winter. Not even they knew the full extent of Selene’s illness, but Selene was not sure just how much Levana knew, either. And if it were Winter or Jacin, could she forgive them?
“Please, Dr. Eliot, are we done?” Selene asked. She hated being alone with her thoughts.
“I think I see something,” the doctor explained. She rubbed her chin. “I’m just not sure if it’s the cause of your problems. I want to do a full once-over before I decide.”
“Is it urgent?” Selene asked. “The thing you found?”
“It requires surgery,” Dr. Eliot explained.
Selene felt like ice was forming in her chest.
“Then put me through surgery.”
“We can discuss scheduling later.”
“No,” Selene said, “if there is something inside me that shouldn’t be, then I want it out now! Put me through surgery today!”
“Your Highness, you must fast six hours –”
“I haven’t eaten since dinner yesterday. Where is the thing that you need to remove?”
A pause. “It’s around your heart, Your Highness.”
“Get everything you need for surgery together, tell your associates to come in and double check the rest of my body for this MRI. I want this done as quickly as possible.”
Selene could just make out the sound of her shuffling.
Surgery. The idea was terrifying, not because of pain or even error, but because the recovery would take so long. She needed to do this now; she couldn’t keep giving her aunt more chances to shut her out of council meetings. Levana already knew she was sick; she couldn’t be allowed to know how serious it was. Something like this could hold her back from her trip to Earth. This surgery was going to keep her from seeing the queen’s hacker.
*****
Her chest felt it was going to explode. Breathing hurt. Hearing hurt. Everything hurt. She could feel her pulse everywhere, and it was starting to give her a headache. There was a cool hand on her forehead. She tried to turn to see who it was, but she could barely stand to move her eyes.
“I’m here,” Levana cooed. “You’re going to be alright.”
She looked on her other side. Winter’s warm hand was squeezing Selene’s clammy one. “They drugged you,” Winter said. She sounded like she’d been crying. “They put so many drugs in you, Selene.”
“Don’t worry, Winter, Selene will heal just fine.”
Selene closed her eyes. It felt like forever before she fell asleep and everything stopped pounding.
*****
“What was it?” Selene asked. She could finally manage to sit up, but Winter had to lift a glass of water to her lips.
“Regolith sediments,” Dr. Eliot explained. “It’s fairly worn down, but it’s safe to say that you’ve been suffering nerve damage from rods of regolith that have been placed in your chest. They’ve affected your foot, your arm, your eyes, even your heart and spine.”
“What do we do?” Winter asked.
“Nothing,” Dr. Eliot said. “We cannot undo the damage, and it’s possible that just removing the regolith will let Selene’s body filter out the rest naturally, but it’s also possible that it will stay in her blood and kill her.”
Selene coughed. “Is amputation an option?”
Dr. Eliot shook her head. “It has too much of you for your to survive on your own.”
Selene nodded. She tilted her head back. Her chest hurt so much. So much, and she was still going to die.
“I’ll give you a blood test in two weeks. By then, we should know if the regolith is going to stay or not.”
Selene only just managed to wave Dr. Eliot away.