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Gina liked to think that she was confident. That she was strong. She was so used to grabbing life by the horns and making the best out of every situation. But sometimes, she didn’t feel so strong and confident and she just wished that she could be okay with that.
Her upbringing and the constant moving around is all she has ever known. She has never been with the same group of friends long enough to have certain high school experiences that everyone around her has had before. Gina has never been a girlfriend and she constantly worries day in and day out that she is doing something wrong or isn’t doing enough.
Ever since the camp initiation night she hasn’t been sleeping very well. She will sleep for an hour or so and then be up the rest of the night. There have been a few nights that Gina has considered waking up her boyfriend to talk to him about her concerns, but she knows how tired he is and decides against it every time.
//
Now it’s another day and the whole gang is in the common area eating breakfast and sharing stories. Gina can’t even pretend to keep up with everyone and decides to just lean up against EJ and get a few more minutes of shut-eye. EJ smiles and wraps his arm around her “Gi, you okay?” Gina snuggles into him a little more “yeah Eej, I’m just so tired and you’re so warm”. EJ decides to let her relax against him and presses a soft kiss to her temple.
After Gina all but dragged herself off of EJ and dragged herself through a day of rehearsals, EJ was officially worried. After asking around camp if anyone knew what was up and after Val knocked some sense into him, he decided to take her advice and ask Gina himself.
EJ really wanted to cheer Gina up. He knows that he has been a bit distracted lately and hasn’t been the best boyfriend that he could be. He grabs some blankets and a bunch of snacks with a plan to steal her away during movie night and maybe go for a late night swim. He arrives at the Honeycomb to pick her up and and knocks on the door.
Ashlyn answers the door with a bit of a panicked face that worries EJ. “Ash, whats wrong?”. Ashlyn sneaks a quick look back into her room and gently closes the door and joins EJ outside. “I’m not sure, I think Gina might be having a bad dream. She hasn’t been sleeping much lately and whenever she can get a few hours in, it’s really restless and she seems even more tired when she wakes up”
EJ frowns, “yeah I’ve noticed she has been a bit tired lately. She literally had her whole body weight on me this morning. But she won’t talk to me about it”. Ashlyn rests her hand on his shoulder and says “Eej, I hate to say this to you, but you haven’t really made much time for her.” EJ’s stomach drops and tries to mask his hurt “Come on Ash you know—“
Ashlyn shushes EJ and leans with her ear against the door. All they can hear is tossing and turning and mumbling. EJ yanks open the handle while Ashlyn tries to hold him back. “Ash I’ve got this okay, just please let me do this, let me be here for her right now”.
Ashlyn gives him a small smile and tells him that she will give them some space and keep Maddox away from their room.
The sight that EJ is greeted with is one he never wants to see again. Gina has tears running down her cheeks and is tossing and turning while frantically clutching the teddy bear that he had won her at the state fair a few weekends ago. He immediately kneels down on the floor and tries shushing her and stroking her hair back. “Gi, hey hey hey its me. It’s EJ, can you just open your eyes for me? I really just want you to relax, come on babe open those beautiful eyes”. Gina’s mumbles turn into “Eej, don’t. No no please don’t leave, everyone always—“
EJ startles at this “Gina, I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere, come on”. With a few last strokes to her hair she finally opens up her eyes and sits straight up. She makes eye contact with EJ and gives him grabby hands, which EJ is a complete sucker for. He swoops in and gives her a big hug as silent tears continue to fall down her face. He pulls her into his lap and rests her head on his heart and for a long time they just breathe each other in.
Once he thinks she’s calmed down a bit more, EJ pulls Gina back to make eye contact with her. He brushes the remaining tear tracks away with his strong thumb and whispers “I think we have some stuff we have to talk about”.
Gina squeezes her eyes shut and clings onto him again, but EJ comforts her with his words “Gi, it’s okay, don't worry, its you and me okay? I have a place we can go, do you wanna grab a few things and go for a walk?” She just nods against his chest to show her agreement. Ej easily lifts her up and places her on the ground while tickling her sides. Gina squeals and swats at his hands. “There she is, there’s my beautiful smile”. Gina blushes and hurries to gather her things.
“Now my lady, would you like a piggy back to our destination?” Gina tries to hide her smile and shrugs her shoulders. She has told EJ that she loves any and all kinds of physical touch and appreciates him making such a valiant effort for her. He smirks and bends down for her to hop on. She does as gracefully as ever of course. He switches between a leisure walking pace and an all out sprint to keep her guessing and to keep her spirits up.
Hearing Gina’s giggles has become his favourite sound in the world.
Once they arrive to the clearing in the woods with the small pond, he gently places her down and spreads some blankets out for them to sit on. He pulls her down with him and half drags her on top of him so that they are cuddling with her head on his chest. “I just want you to know you can talk to me about anything and everything Gi. I’m your boyfriend and I really just want you to be okay”.
Gina squeezes his side in response and whispers her biggest fear into the night. “I’m worried I’m not a good girlfriend”.
EJ knows she has more to say so he just traces patterns up and down her arms to soothe away what he knows is a very hard conversation for her to have.
Gina takes a deep breath before she continues. “It’s just hard to feel so inexperienced and not have a clue what I’m doing, when I know other girls have come before me and you’re used to... I don’t know, I guess more? Like I second guess everything, like can I just hold your hand or hug you, or even just kiss you whenever I want now? Am I allowed to do that? I think I’m just constantly worried I’m doing something wrong, and I’m worried that you’ll just leave and one day that could all slip away. That you would slip away…just like everyone else," she whispers.
“Gi, baby. Please please don’t ever think you’re not doing enough. You are beyond enough, you are more than I could ever deserve. Can we sit up for a minute I just need you to hear me” Ej sits Gina up and grabs both of her smaller hands in his larger ones.
“Ive known for a while now, but I was a little scared to say anything because I never wanna make you uncomfortable. But I can’t wait any longer. I love you Gi. You are easily my favourite person in the whole world and I will work on making sure you know how much I love and appreciate you, but I just need you to know this is how I feel. Don’t feel any pressure if you—“
Gina tackles him to the ground in a hug and showers his face with quick, tiny, kisses, “I love you, I love you, I love you. I know I’ve never felt anything like this before, but I just can’t believe how lucky I am to be loved by a man like you”.
Ej wipes away some of his tears before finding her eyes to whisper one last declaration into the night. “We all remember that one summer Gi, and this will be ours, forever.”
Gina lunges forward to kiss him as he lays them back down on the forest floor. He’s not sure what Dewey would think of love declarations and making out in his woods, but he can’t even begin to focus on that when his girlfriend is kissing him without hesitation, for the first time in forever.