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Alone inside the restaurant, Seokmin can't contain his nervousness. He's planning to propose to his long-time lover, Hong Jisoo once they're done eating. The bustling of waiters and waitresses walking and almost bumping each other due to their restaurant in rush hour for dinner. Luckily, Seokmin was able to reserve earlier.
He's anxiously fiddling with the small box inside his coat pocket, slightly opening it between his fingers and then closing it again. He was glad he was able to reserve a first-rate place and even chose to sit beside the window glass where you can see the busy people walking outside. Seokmin looked at his reflection for the nth time, his hair is neatly brushed up with a light gel. Since it's already the cold season, he's wearing a thick brown long-sleeved turtle neck pairing it with black high-waisted pants and a light brown long coat.
Seokmin gets cold pretty easily, but since he was so excited about today's plan, he forgot to wear his favorite scarf that was hand-made by his lover. He's also still wearing the long coat inside the restaurant considering they're near the door where it was kept open due to people kept coming in and out.
He got startled when he heard a knock on the window glass on his left. There, he saw his dazzling lover smiling wide and waving at him, eyes shaping into perfect crescent moons. Seokmin cheerfully waved at his lover with both hands and formed a heart-shaped on his head, winking at his pretty lover. Jisoo laughed at his lover's behavior and decided to finally come inside. He's wearing a checkered shirt underneath his plain black long coat and pairing it with his fitted jeans.
"Hey, Minmin. Happy seventh anniversary to us!" Jisoo greeted his boyfriend with a light peck on his lips before sliding onto the seat across Seokmin and removing his light gray scarf before placing it beside him. His lover smiled at him fondly when he heard his nickname from his mouth.
"Happy seventh anniversary to us, Jiji. How are you?" he asked as he laid his hands on the table, reaching for Jisoo's.
"It was tiring today as well, but it's fine since the bunnies were cute today," Jisoo said as he slid his hands on his lover's, sighing as Seokmin's warmth traveled on his cold ones. Jisoo is a veterinarian while Seokmin's a pediatrician. They're both busy doctors but since they met in the middle of their university life, they got along quickly and understood each other the most.
"I see," Seokmin rubbed his lover's red hands with his thumbs, bringing them to his lips and warming them with his hot breath. "I already ordered food while I was waiting for you, Soo. Are you hungry?" Jisoo nodded and as if on cue, waiters arrived with their ordered foods.
Seokmin gave his lover's hands a kiss and a final squeeze before letting go to let the waiters place their order on their table. They thanked the waiters once they were done and started eating. They both talked about their days at their own clinics and it was fun, knowing what experiences they shared.
"Before we finish, I baked us a small cake earlier. Where do you want to eat this, Jiji?" Seokmin asked as he brought out a small box of cake beside him. He slid it onto the center of their table and let his lover peek inside. Jisoo's eyes went wide when he read the design on the cake 'Happy 7th Jiji, I love you 247'
"Aww, this is so sweet, Seokmin-ah. How did you manage your time and you were able to make this?" Jisoo cooed, reaching for Seokmin's right cheek to pinch it playfully.
"I can do anything, Ji. For you, for us." Seokmin leaned his cheek on Jisoo's left hand when the older caressed it gently. Cupping Jisoo's planted hand with his, he rubbed the back of it gently and affectionately. Jisoo's eyes went teary, touched by his younger lover's words.
"Thank you, Min. I really appreciate this. I love you too, so much."
Seokmin smiled and kissed Jisoo's hand before placing it on the table again, playing with his fingers. "So, where do you want to eat this?"
"Hmm, I thought it's nice to eat it at the park, on the bench underneath the tree. But," Jisoo looked to his right, he watched the snow fall gently, slowly piling up the pavements covering it white. "It already started snowing, should we eat it in our house instead?" he directed his attention back to his lover who's still watching the delicate snow.
"It's okay, hyung. We can eat it at the park. Let's go?" Seokmin lets go of his lover's hand and stood up, patting his clothes and smoothing the crinkled parts. Jisoo closed the box of cake and retrieved his scarf beside him before standing beside the younger, slinging and wrapping his scarf around Seokmin's neck because he knows fully well how his lover gets cold very easily.
"Are you sure, Seok? It's pretty chilly. We can just watch movies at home, what do you think?"
Seokmin smiled at his hyung and gave him a peck on his lips, returning the one he received from the greeting.
"No, Soo. We can still eat this on the bench. Since there's a tree covering it, we don't need to worry about the snow in the meantime. Hopefully, it won't get worst." he said as he buried his face in the warm scarf, inhaling lightly the lingering scent of Jisoo.
'It smells like home.'
"Okay then, let's go?" Seokmin nodded and slid his hands on Jisoo's, smoothly intertwining their fingers together. Seokmin paid for their food first before heading to the door. The younger pockets his other hand when the cold wind greets them as they got outside, jolting a little when he felt the small box meeting his fingertips.
He remembers his mission for tonight, to get the magical yes from his lover. Seokmin already feels like he can't breathe, his heart hammering inside his chest getting wild.
"Min? What's wrong?" Jisoo asked when the younger suddenly fell into silence, thinking about how to propose to the older. Jisoo doesn't like extravagant proposals or getting the attention of other people, so he needs to do it by himself without the help of others.
"N-nothing, hyung. The cold just startled me is all," he explained, averting Jisoo's gaze but the older let it slide, nodding and swinging their hands as they walk towards the park.
The walk was covered in silence, but it was comfortable and peaceful. They walk in front of the stores hand in hand, sometimes watching the cars as they pass. They crossed the pedestrian lane when no cars went by and covered their heads from the pleasant soft falling snow as they half-run towards the empty bench underneath the tree.
Jisoo laughed hard when Seokmin almost slipped on the muddy part of the ground he wasn't able to notice. The younger just pouted at his hyung but still smiled afterward, thinking it's nice to slip once in a while if it will bring out laughter from his most beloved.
They both sat down on the bench, Jisoo calming down and wiping his tears still lightly chuckling. Seokmin just watched his lover beautifully, brightening his face with the warm yellow shine from the street lights. He tucked Jisoo's hair behind his ear when it covered his porcelain face.
'So beautiful, my love.'
Jisoo just smiled at him and opened the box of cake on his lap. Seokmin already prepared two small plastic forks inside, tucking them safely beside the cake to avoid the icing smudging the handle.
"Here," he cheerfully handed Seokmin his fork and shoved his excitedly on the cake before putting it in his mouth, moaning as the sweetness spread on his tongue.
"Delicious! Damn it I'm so jealous of my own boyfriend." Jisoo pouts as he slumps his back on the backrest, shoving again another forkful in his mouth closing his eyes as he savors the taste.
Seokmin chuckled, facing his lover as he rest his right leg on the bench. He placed his elbow on top of the backrest, placing his head on his closed knuckles while watching Jisoo munching happily on his homemade cake.
"Why is that?" he asked as he wiped the side of his mouth smudged with the chocolate before bringing his thumb on his lips tasting the icing.
"Because you already have it all." Jisoo rolled his eyes when he saw his boyfriend smirking smugly. "You got good looks, you know how to cook, to bake, you're also kind to everyone especially to me, and the best pediatrician I've ever met."
Seokmin blushed at the sudden shower of compliments from his lover and covered his face bashfully when his lover kept looking at him with adoring eyes. Jisoo chuckled at the cuteness of his lover, not getting used to his compliments.
"Say ahh~" Seokmin peeked behind his fingers and saw his hyung with a forkful of cake, nearing his face. He lets go of his face and opened his mouth and followed Jisoo's fork but the older kept teasing him, pulling it slowly towards him instead.
Jisoo finally stopped the fork in front of his face and let Seokmin munch the cake at the same time Jisoo kissed his cheek. The younger looked at him with shock plastered on his face before leaning back, chewing, and holding his kissed cheek.
"Wow, hyung. That was smooth. What about here?" he pointed his lips but the older just laughed and ate another bite of the cake again, almost finishing it.
"Later," he winked at the younger which made him beet red once more, chuckling lowly at his lover's cute actions.
"Hey, Min. I'm only the one eating this and it's almost gone." Jisoo pouted, cheeks full of cake.
"That's fine, Jiji. I made that, especially for you." Jisoo nodded slowly as he finished the last bite of the cake, placing the empty box beside him. Seokmin stood up and stretches but trembled when the cold snowy wind meets them, a little stronger than before. He fiddled with the little box inside his pocket once more, before turning around to look at his lover.
He was about to kneel down in front of him but his hyung stood up, alerted.
"What's wrong, hyung?" he asked curiously, looking at the pedestrian where Jisoo's currently looking, even furrowing his eyebrows.
"No! There's a child holding a cat crossing the road!" Jisoo didn't hesitate to run towards the pedestrian lane not far from them.
"Wait, hyung!" Seokmin hurried and ran after Jisoo who runs twice faster than him. He didn't mind the cold gush of wind meeting his bare face.
'Shit, please make it on time, Lee Seokmin!' he shouted to himself when he saw in his peripheral a truck not minding the speed limit nearing the child and his hyung.
"Jisoo hyung! Dodg— No! Jisoo!"
Too late.
Jisoo already pushed the child away from the road and got hit himself. Screaming from several people covered the supposedly peaceful night and dashed towards the scene.
Seokmin stiffened, he doesn't hear anything, his heart getting wild inside his chest, knocking his lungs. The silence deafened his ears not until he heard the child cry from a scratched knee, together with her mother. He hurriedly pushed the people away and went to his unconscious hyung, head covered with fresh blood.
"Fuck! Why didn't you look after your daughter properly!?" Seokmin shouted his lungs out at the mother of the child who was also holding a cellphone. The mother bowed down many times but Seokmin ignored her and took off his coat to put pressure on the wound to stop it from bleeding but it only seeped into the cloth.
Even with the dire situation, Seokmin kept his head cool since he's also a doctor that needs to be calm in order for his brain to function.
But not with this kind of situation.
His lover lying on the ground covered with blood. His hands are already shaking as he puts pressure on the wound. Tears slowly welled in his eyes as he watched the blood continue gushing out from the deep and open wound.
"Jisoo hyung! Can you hear me?!" Seokmin frantically asked when the older opened his eyes momentarily, blinking slowly. "Please call an ambulance immediately!" He shouted at the crowd watching them. Some of them nodded and fetched their phones to call the police and ambulance. The driver's already held by the watchers.
"Seok...min... child... cat..." Jisoo weakly whispered, barely audible but he was heard by the younger.
"Hyung! Don't speak yet, please. Focus your consciousness on me, okay? Stay with me, Ji. I'm here."
Seokmin's breathing got hitched inside his throat when he realized his hyung already lost lots of blood, flooding the road.
"No, hyung," Seokmin sniffled, the snow is now falling harsher than before, thick and heavy snowflakes seeping in his long-sleeved turtle neck. But he paid no mind, his hyung's more important than him. "Please," he begged with a soft voice.
The ambulance and police arrived at the same time and the paramedics fetched Jisoo's delicate body immediately and placed him on the stretcher, pushing him inside the ambulance. He held his bloodied coat inside his arms, watching the paramedics work. One of them draped a coat over Seokmin's shaking body and he held it with his bloody and trembling hands, silently thanking the man who just nodded and gently guided him inside the car.
Seokmin didn't let go of Jisoo's hand, holding it tight with his bloody hands, bringing it to his forehead as he silently prays to the gods.
'Please, please. Not my Jisoo hyung. Not him, please... Please...' Seokmin quietly cried as they head towards the hospital.
"Hyung, just a little more, we'll arrive at the hospital and treat your wound, alright?" he whispered to the unconscious man, laying peacefully on the stretcher, slightly shaking from the car's driving.
"Hyung, please... Stay with me." he pleads before kissing Jisoo's cold hand.
No longer than five minutes, they already arrived at the hospital and thankfully, the paramedics work fast with their hands as they guided Jisoo inside the hospital, Seokmin running and following behind.
"Sorry, sir. You're not allowed to enter the Emergency Room." Seokmin got blocked by one of the nurses when he was about to enter the room where Jisoo was delivered. He really wants to punch the hell out of the nurse in front of him but he only exhaled his shaky breath, brushing up his wet and disheveled hair away from his face, blood smudging on his forehead.
He squats down on the floor and leaned his back on the floor, hugging his legs and burying his face in his knees, his body still shaking tremendously.
"Hyung, don't leave me..." he whispered, still waiting for the positive announcement.
He fetched the small box inside the pocket of his soiled coat and opened it. Seokmin blankly stared at the ring glistening when the hallway light hits it. Remembering Jisoo's face, his tears trickled down his cheeks, burying his face in his lover's gray scarf, and hugged the ring close to his chest as he drowned himself in tears.
It's already an hour and a half and Seokmin can't wait anymore, he peeked inside the Emergency Room, thanks to his height. He furrows his eyebrows and squints his eyes to see better. Seokmin widened his eyes when he saw the doctors use defibrillators on his hyung. He didn't wait any longer and entered the room without guards.
"S-Stop! Why are you using that!?" Seokmin runs but was blocked again by the nurses on standby.
"Sir! You can't go further. Please understand." One of the nurses said, using all her strength to keep Seokmin away.
"Fuck! Let me go!" Seokmin struggled when additional nurses aid their coworkers.
"Let him," the doctor quietly spoke, pulling his mask down to his chin, and bringing silence inside the room also making the nurses make way for the pediatrician.
"February 18th, 12:00 AM."
"W-what do you mean?!"
Seokmin grabbed the doctor's collar who just arranged his eyeglasses on the bridge of his nose.
"Hong Jisoo, date and time of death, February 18th, at 12:00 AM."
Seokmin felt like his whole body was being dumped with cold water, making him shudder, letting go of the doctor's collar and dropping to his knees when they buckled.
"No... No no no no... This can't be true... hyung." Seokmin cried, bawling his eyes out as he slowly crawls towards his lover's bed, forcing himself to stand up and sit beside his lover's cold body.
"We'll give you some time," the doctor said and directed his attention to one of the nurses inside the room "Bring the patient warm water and a washcloth," he whispered and the nurse nodded.
"Hyung... Jisoo hyung... Jiji, why are you so kind? Why did you have to save the kid? Was it because of the cat? Or are you afraid I was going to save her first and," he swallowed the lump inside his windpipe "I'll be leaving you? T-Then why are you the one leaving me now, hyung?" he brushed Jisoo's stiffened bangs because of the blood, away from his still beautiful face.
His lips that were soft, plump, and red are now color purple and cracked. With his trembling fingers, Seokmin traced his lover's eyes, down to his nose, down to his lips.
"It was our anniversary, Soo. Today," he choked a sob "Today's my birthday, Jisoo. Why are you doing this to me?"
"I should've agreed eating the cake inside our house instead, hyung." he whispers, regret flooding inside his nerves.
Seokmin heard the door open and closed but his eyes didn't leave his lover's face. He saw in his peripheral that the nurse went beside Jisoo on the other side and wrung the washcloth from the warm water.
"Let me," Seokmin whispered and the nurse jolts her eyes towards his waiting hand. She hesitated "Please," Seokmin added so the nurse nodded and gave Seokmin the cloth and excused herself from the room.
He started wiping Jisoo's face gently. Removing the blood from his hair and his face. His lips are trembling as he did but his eyes are already tired and dried from crying so much.
"You know hyung, I was planning on proposing to you earlier." He whispered, reaching into his pocket and retrieving the small box. He slowly slid the silver ring onto his lover's left ring finger.
It fits perfectly.
He thought he doesn't have any more tears to shed but he was wrong. Seokmin's eyes welled once again with tears, dripping down to his cheeks, down to the bed's cover.
"It feels like everything that happened before was a lie, hyung."
He sobbed, holding Jisoo's left hand in his hands, kissing it.
"We were just eating in the restaurant, walking hand in hand by the stores, getting wet from the gentle snowfall, and eating cake together. W-why..." he trails off.
"Why did this happen to us, hyung? To me? Why are you leaving me? Can't you just wake up and pretend all of this is a prank?" he wept, getting hard to breathe.
"Please... Hyung, this is not funny. Please wake up."
"Hyung, I love you. Please,"
Seokmin continued begging, hoping Jisoo's body will move again, will smile at him once more, gather him inside his warm embrace, and cuddle together.
But it's no longer possible.
Jisoo died, and he lived.
Jisoo left him, left without him.
"I love you, Jiji. I love you 247..."
Seokmin kissed his lover's pale lips for the last time, closing his eyes as his tears continued flowing nonstop, dripping pitifully on Jisoo's pale beautiful face.
"You were my favorite hello and my hardest goodbye."
"—min! Seokmin! Wake up!"
Seokmin's body jolt wide awake, instantly sitting up straight. Cold sweats formed on his forehead, dripping on his temple. Heart ramming inside his heart, his whole body is trembling, and his breathing is ragged, tears slowly forming in his eyes.
"Hey, what happened? Are you okay? Was it a bad dream?"
The younger slowly looked beside him when someone talked, eyes open wide in horror, tears now dropping continuously down to his cheeks.
"Minmin? What's happening to you—ow!" the latter wasn't able to finish his sentence when the younger lunged at him, stumbling both of them to the floor.
"Hyung? You're alive? A-are you real? Did I also die since I can see you right now?" Seokmin continuously asked between his sobs. Jisoo glared at him when the younger didn't apologize and smacked his head lightly.
"Why are you talking about deaths early in the morning Lee Seokmin?"
'It's really him, my Jiji. My Jisoo hyung.'
Seokmin bawled his eyes again, burying his face in the crook of Jisoo's neck. He sobbed loudly, tears dripping on the older's neck.
Worried, Jisoo caressed Seokmin's back, comforting him whatever he's currently feeling. The older's totally clueless why the younger's crying so early in the morning.
"Did you have a nightmare, Min?" the younger nodded, still hugging his hyung tightly, afraid of letting go.
Jisoo sighed, "What happened? Would you like to share it with me?" the younger nodded again, so Jisoo slowly sat up and the other followed, still not untangling himself from his lover.
"Hyung," Seokmin cried harder again after seeing Jisoo's gorgeous face, alive and full of color. "I-I'm so happy, you're alive. I can feel your warmth, Jiji. I'm so happy." he slurred still burying his face in the crook of Jisoo's neck.
"Did I die in your nightmare?" he asked quietly and the other nodded still sniffling, tightening his embrace around his lover's slim waist.
"What happened?"
Seokmin finally detaches his face from being buried and rubbed his puffy eyes, still crying like a child who lost his mommy in the crowd. Jisoo's heart slightly throbbed in pain when he saw how devastated his lover was by his experience inside his dream.
"I-It was— We were eating and- and then we walked to the park to eat the cake I made for our seventh anniversary—" he hiccups "A-And I was about to propose to you when you run towards the child— holding a cat and you were hit by a truck and you d-died." he managed to continue despite the hiccups, sobs, and cry intervening.
"Shh, love. Look at me," Jisoo cupped his lover's face in his hands and wiped his tears with his thumbs. Seokmin continued looking down at Jisoo's cute-designed shirt. "Seok, my love. Look at me," the latter finally connected his gaze to his lover.
"Minmin, we got married two years ago on our eighth anniversary." Jisoo smiled gently at his lover— husband, showing him the gold band encircling his left ring finger. Seokmin's eyes went wide as he realized, immediately looking at his left ring finger and his heart jumps happily inside his chest as the same gold band with their initials engraved encircled the finger as well. He hugged Jisoo again, slowly calming down.
"I was so scared, hyung. It felt so real." he sighed as he sniffled.
Jisoo chuckles lightly as he hugged his husband, adoring him and falling in love again and again.
"Thank you for crying for me, love. It's fine. We're fine, okay? Nothing wrong will happen and I promise I'll take care of myself." Seokmin nodded and slowly stood up, guided by his husband to sit down on the edge of their bed.
"Feeling better?"
"Yes," Seokmin replied with a soft whisper.
"Also, I don't want to see you cry again but I'd like to remind you today's our tenth anniversary as well as our second anniversary of being married together."
Seokmin's puffy eyes went wide "So today's the 17th of February?" he asked with a quiet voice and Seokmin shuddered when he remembered his dream. He suddenly grabbed Jisoo's shoulders hard but not enough to hurt him.
"Yes, Minmin. Tomorrow's your birthday." Jisoo smiled at him, perfect crescent moons showing at his husband. "Would you like to go somewhere today and stay the night to celebrate your birthday?" he cocked his head to the right, batting his eyes beautifully at his husband.
"Let's just stay at home today, hyung. Please?" he pleads and was expecting the older to scoff at him and decline but of course, this is his husband we're talking about.
"Sure, Min. Let's watch movies and eat ice cream?" Jisoo, Lee Jisoo, his kind other half nodded and agreed to his suggestion.
"Cuddles?" Jisoo nodded "Cuddles." he confirmed and caressed the younger's elbow.
"Thank you, Jiji. I love you so much. Stay with me, please." Seokmin leaned in and pecked Jisoo's smiling lips.
"I will, Min. I love you too, 247."