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"You make me feel safe."
The words are a whisper, yet they jerk Chloe out of her half-awake state like Alex is shouting her name, because how the fuck does she make Alex feel safe? She’s the one who broke down crying out of nowhere when that song came on, dropped the plate she was in the middle of washing, and offered no explanation besides some other girl’s name. Someone who still can’t handle hearing Santa Monica Dream all these years later isn’t a source of safety, they’re a time-bomb.
She grits her jaw and considers trying to turn to look at Alex, but that would mean making Alex stop spooning her when that arm around her waist is the only thing keeping her grounded right now. How is she making feel Alex safe when she’s the one who always needs comforting? She settles for talking to Alex as she is: facing away so that she can’t see the tears. “How? I’m a fucking mess. You’re the one playing big spoon right now.”
The words come out with more bite than she intended. She’s sure that Alex knows it’s aimed at herself. They were two weeks into dating when she realised Alex could already read her like a book, to a degree that couldn’t just be explained by how she wore her heart on her sleeve, and it was a month in when Alex told her how she did it. It’s funny, her, the emotional clusterfuck of the century, ends up meeting an Empath in a bar. Another one of the universe’s sick fucking jokes, like how Rachel died in the town she always wanted to escape. Fuck, and here come the tears again. Stop thinking about it, stop, stop—
“It’s because you feel so much,” Alex continued in a soft voice. “Other people, they’re still hard to read even though I’m the mind-reader in the room, but you aren’t.” Chloe can hear the smile in her voice, the conviction, the certainty, and something else that she’s scared to name. It’s too presumptuous to think of that after only seven months and some change. “It was overwhelming at first, but it’s what drew me to you. You’re honest in a world full of people eager to lie and bury things to the point only I can see them…
I don’t feel like I have some advantage over you because of, you know, being me. I feel normal. Loved. Safe.”
This time, when Chloe feels the sting of tears, she doesn’t stop them, even though she doubts she could after hearing all of that. She turns around and presses a salty kiss to Alex’s forehead and finally lets herself breathe. The pit in her stomach is a distant memory now that she’s got all this warmth in her chest and a shaky smile on her face. “God, how long have you been holding that one out on me?”
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Alex grins up at Chloe, pushing herself up on an elbow so that they’re more level. She reaches out to brush a lock of hair from Chloe’s face and takes on a more serious expression. “I’ve always sort of known. I just didn’t know how or when to say it until now. Didn’t feel appropriate.”
Everything that song dredged up is still there, underneath it all, but the joy of the moment shines too bright for Chloe to dwell on it. Plus, Alex has just left herself wide open. “Wow, you were not as concerned about being appropriate the other night.” Chloe’s voice cracks a bit as a shaky laugh accompanies the remark.
Alex colours a bit and scoffs. “Turning my words against me? Don’t make me take it back, Price.”
When Chloe laughs this time, it doesn’t have that shakiness. It’s still not her normal laugh, but fuck, it’s better than it was. Because she already feels better than she did. It’s impossible not to with Alex in her life.