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Chapter Text

If there's one thing that everyone knows about Tommy Innit, it's that he likes women. If you so much as mention girls, Tommy will immediately start ranting about how pretty women were and how much he liked them. He didn't even try hiding it, making it one of his main go-to's for jokes and verbal defenses. At this point, it was just a fact of life that Tommy Innit liked women. 

Except for one, very small caveat… 

Tommy slammed open the door to Purpled's room. "I swear to fuck! If one more bitch asks me about my love life, I'm going to lose my shit!" He yelled, stomping over to Purpled's bed before flopping onto it. 

Purpled lifted a brow in silent question, watching one of his closest friends try and suffocate himself in swaths of blankets next to Purpled. He slid his headphones off but continued his work. He let out a noncommittal hum to try and get Tommy to continue. When Tommy didn't continue, Purpled sighed and saved his progress before adjusting to give the other blonde his full attention. 

"Who was it this time?" 

Tommy flopped onto his back. "Fucking-" He adjusted so he wasn't squishing Purpled. "Dream Team was teasing me when I didn't want to fucking talk to a girl." He grumbled. 

Purpled hummed, setting his tablet down. "You know our friends. They haven't exactly learned the difference between-" 

"Like and Love." Tommy finished with him. 

"I just wish people would get with the program and fucking leave me alone." Tommy grumbled. 

"Hey, you gotta understand that they weren't born the same way we were." Purpled shrugged. 

"Are all ace's this chill about assholes?" Tommy asked, a shit-eating grin sliding onto his face. 

Purpled rolled his eyes. "You're ace too, Tommy." 

"I'm not asexual. I am aromantic." Tommy sniffed, sticking his nose up like some pompous prick. 

"So am I, Tommy." 

"I am just simply better than you." 

"What, because you’re het as well?" 

Tommy squawked like a chicken before sitting up and rounding on Purpled. "It’s not my fault girls are hot! Okay?" He exclaimed. 

Purpled held back his laughter. "Whatever you say, King." 

There was a lapse of silence as Tommy stared at the person he considered to be one of his closest friends. His heart always went all warm and fuzzy whenever he was able to bring joy to his friends and Purpled was not the exception. Tommy didn't want to admit it, but he really looked up to Purpled like he was some sort of protector. He wasn't like Tommy's family, who pushed Tommy to be independent and make a name for himself, or Tubbo, who refused to let Tommy do most anything alone, or Ranboo, who never argued no matter what Tommy did. Purpled was just there, always ready for Tommy's word and passively watching his back in the way that made Tommy feel safe and free at the same time. Sure, they had lots of fights and arguments but Tommy thinks he'd probably help fight Lady Death if Purpled really asked. If Tommy found someone like Purpled, maybe he'd… 

Wheels began to turn in Tommy's head as Purpled's expression turned to one of concern. The purple eyed boy watched as his friend's expression slowly slid from playful to considering. That expression was never good when on Tommy Innit's face. It meant he had an idea and he was trying to figure out if the pros outweigh the cons. Purpled didn't know whether he should be excited or worried because his ideas usually had a fifty-fifty chance of backfiring on the boy. Either way, Purpled was pretty sure he would be dragged along for the ride, just out of current proximity. 

"Big P?" Tommy quietly asked, a smile stretching his lips in a way that Purpled couldn't actually tell his intentions. 

"Yeah, Big T?" Purpled replied, already resigning himself to his fate. 

"What if we got married?" 

Purple eyes stared into blue ones as the room fell into dead silence. Purpled's brain didn't connect the words to meaning for an uncomfortable large handful of seconds before they finally clicked together like lego blocks. 

"Fucking pardon?" Purpled asked. 

"No, no- fucking- listen, okay." Tommy urged. "If we get married, we won't have to worry about people bugging us about relationships and people won't be able to ask us out. Plus, it means we'd basically be upgraded roommates and be able to move out of our shitty university dorms. 

"Tommy, we don't go to college-" 

"My point still stands-" 

"No, it doesn't. We both still live with our families-" 

"So we'll be able to move out! No more living in grandma's basement- 

"Neither of us have living grandparents-!" 

"Do you not fucking know what an expression is? Let me give you the fucking definition! It's-" 

"Holy Prime, shut up-!" 

"-a figure of speech-" 

"We're not fucking doing this again-!" 

"-that is commonly known!" 

"That is not the definition." Purpled seethed. 

"It totally is." Tommy said, crossing his arms. 

Purpled took a deep breath, reminding himself of what he's supposed to be focused on. 

"Okay, fine whatever. Now, if we did get married - which will never happen - how would we do it?" Purpled asked. "Like, how would we, two freelancers fresh out of school, afford a wedding? Would we buy rings for each other or do it together? How fast would we be getting married? Who are we telling? Would we get an apartment first? Are you gonna force me to sleep in the same room as you? Do you even have a plan?" He asked, giving Tommy an incredulous look. 

Tommy gave another considering look as he thought. He didn't really have a plan. Honestly, he was hoping to just get an agreement and plan it with Purpled from there. Now he had to actually give a plan? Fuck his life, Purpled would never talk to him again if he didn't have at least a step, even a joking one. 

"... We'll elope." He finally said, voice steady and sure. 

Purpled continued to stare at him. "Elope?" 

Tommy nodded, a determined set to his shoulders. "I'll steal you away and we'll run off into the sunset, newlywed and happy for the rest of our lives." He said, like it was gospel. 

Purpled just shook his head, not being able to hold back a disbelieving scoff and smile. "You don't have a fucking clue, do you?" 

"Not one." 

Purpled let out a breathy chuckle before leaning over to grab his sketchbook from his bedside table. "Fine," He flipped to the first empty page before grabbing the nearest pencil. "Let's make a plan before making any decisions." 

Tommy scoffed. "You and your planning." 

"I'm sorry, how many times has my planning saved our asses?" 

Tommy, wisely, stayed silent. 

"How the fuck did you talk me into this?" Purpled asked, voice hushed in disbelief. 

One minute, the two boys had just been throwing out random, slightly stupid ideas, the next they had not only started looking at apartments to pick but also knew exactly what type of rings they were getting. Neither boy seemed to remember how they got this far in the planning stage, nor do they remember the moment that Purpled realized he was actually really into the idea of a platonic marriage, but they knew it happened and the proof was in front of them, in writing, figuratively and literally. 

Tommy smirked. "Fell for another one of my devilish schemes, I see." He teased, leaning closer to be nose to nose with Purpled, completely too smug for his own good. 

Purpled pushed Tommy off the bed, smirking in self-satisfaction when Tommy squawked before landing with a loud, disgruntled moan of pain. 

"Purp! Why would you hurt your fiance like that?" Tommy bemoaned from where he continued to lay on the ground, limp. 

"We're not engaged yet, dipshit." Purpled rolled his eyes, turning back to their plans. 

"Purp! Why would you disrespect your QPP like that?" Tommy corrected, same tone and everything, still not moving from his spot on Purpled's fuzzy, alien green rug. 

"Are you done whining?" 

There was a slight pause as Tommy sat in thought. 

"You're a bitch." 

"Oh no, what a shocker." Purpled mumbled half-heartedly. 

"Fucker." Tommy grumbled, finally peeling himself off the floor. "I hope Tubbo makes you fight him when you ask him for my hand in marriage." 

"Hold on, I thought we were getting eloped." Purpled said, giving Tommy a confused look. 

"We are, but Tubbo will be pissed if you don't ask him first." Tommy said, sitting beside Purpled against. 

"But you're the one that's proposing." 

"Tubbo's not gonna care. We're a team, so he's probably gonna want you to ask him first." 

Purpled sighed, dragging a hand down his face. "I can't believe you talked me into this." 

Tommy scoffed. "Well if you're gonna be an asshole about it-" 

Purpled grabbed Tommy's sleeve before he could move to stand. "No, Tommy-" Purpled took a deep breath. "I'm just a little stressed by all this. You can't tell me that we're not moving really fast. Neither of us have even suggested going on a date to test if we'll even work." 

"A date?" Tommy asked in slight disgust. 

"A friend date, idiot." Purpled snipped. 

"Oh." 

Purpled rolled his eyes and turned back to his work, shoulders tense and a frown plastered to his face. 

Tommy frowned in thought, chewing on his lip. Purpled just wanted time. Tommy knew he'd never say it directly but it was basically his only request for the whole thing. Tommy couldn't, in good conscience, ignore Purpled's needs. 

"Well, it is going to take a while to find the right apartment," Tommy hesitantly began, watching Purpled carefully. "I'm sure we could squeeze in a few friend dates before we get married and move in." He suggested, trying to sound casual. 

There was a moment of tense silence, long enough for Tommy to start worrying about the other's reaction. Then, Purpled's shoulders slowly dropped to a more relaxed position, though he didn't pause his work. 

"Sounds good, Tommy." Purpled mumbled, though Tommy didn't miss the slight lilt of his words. It made Tommy smile. "Now help me look for good apartments." 

Nevermind, Tommy hated Purpled with a burning passion. 

"You two are getting married?" Tubbo asked, a little shell shocked. 

"No, Tubs, we're getting eloped." Tommy corrected. 

Tommy, Purpled, and Tubbo were currently sitting in the brunette's backyard, sitting in beach chairs as they talked by the pool. Tommy and Purpled had dragged the other boy out here so no one could listen in on their conversation. It wasn't that the newly engaged were nervous but they didn't exactly want people knowing yet. They didn't even go out to buy rings yet because of how expensive rings are. They were already renting an apartment, rings could wait. 

"And you didn't think to ask me?" Tubbo asked, looking both hurt and angry. 

"We're here so we can ask you." Purpled spoke up, letting Tommy latch onto his hand when he started to fidget. 

Tubbo leveled a hardened glare at Purpled. "Have you proposed yet?" 

"Officially? No." Purpled said, hiding his nerves under a mask of indifference. Tommy gave his hand a reassuring squeeze, so he obviously wasn't hiding it well. 

Tubbo hummed skeptically. "Alright. I'll let you marry Tommy," He pointed an accusing finger at Purpled. " If you beat me in a fight." 

Tommy and Purpled shared a knowing look before turning back to the brunette in front of them. 

"Okay," Purpled shrugged. 

Tubbo's glare hardened further. "I'll be back," He told them, standing and heading back into his house. 

Purpled let out a sigh of relief, Tommy patting his shoulder with a proud smile. 

"This went better than I thought it would." Tommy mused. 

"What did you think would happen?" Purpled asked. 

"Well, I thought he'd try to kill you, honestly." Tommy shrugged. 

"Is he not about to try to?" Purpled asked. 

"I mean, probably. But we don't really need to worry about that now. All he's allowed to have is air soft guns because Mr. Sparkles doesn't like having weapons in the house." 

Purpled hummed in consideration. "I mean, he could still use blunt force." 

"What is it with you and murder?" Tommy asked. 

Purpled opened his mouth to answer when something exploded against the back of his head. Purpled cursed, clutching the spot of impact. 

"What the fuck!" Tommy exclaimed, letting Purpled go to check over him. 

The older teen pulled his hand away to reveal bright green paint, thick enough to almost look dried. Both blondes turned at the sound of a gun cocking, finding Tubbo with a shotgun in his hands. 

"Find the other paintball gun. If you can make me back down, I'll consider letting you marry Tommy." He leveled the gun at Purpled's head. "Start running." 

Purpled didn't need to be told twice. 

Tommy and Purpled walked out of the jewelry store, Tommy carrying a little, blue, paper bag. They joked and laughed as they headed towards the park, only taking a short detour to an ice cream shop. 

"You know," Tommy spoke up, licking his quickly melting vanilla cone. "This is a lot easier than I thought." 

"What is?" Purpled asked, shoveling chocolate from the small cup he got. 

"Getting eloped." Tommy said. "You probably made it a lot easier. But like, we're doing pretty good. We're moving into our apartment in two weeks, Tubbo was more accepting than I ever hoped, we're going on this nice little date. Honestly, we could get married right now and I wouldn't have a problem with it." 

"Not until after the second date." Purpled said, like it was just an automatic response. 

"I know, I know. One for the engagement, one to double check." Tommy counted on his fingers. 

Purpled gave a satisfied smile before taking another bite of his ice cream and dropping the empty cup in a nearby trash can. Tommy stared at him in disbelief until the older noticed. 

"What?" 

"How did you eat that so fast?" Tommy asked, still holding his half eaten cone. 

"I chew my ice cream." Purpled deadpanned. 

Tommy shivered in disgust. "That's fucking gross." 

"No, it's not." Purpled defended. 

"Yes, it is. Who the fuck chews their ice cream?" 

"How do you not chew ice cream? It's a solid food." 

"No it's not!" 

"It is! It might be part liquid but it's still part solid!" 

"Wait, really?" Tommy asked, completely forgetting his exaggerated outrage. 

Purpled also relaxed. "Yeah, it's considered a mix of all three states of matter. It's solid ice, liquid sugar, and air bubbles all mixed together." He explained. 

"How does that work?" Tommy asked. 

"Temperature, I guess." Purpled shrugged. "Also, Toms, your ice cream is melting." 

Tommy looked down to his cone to see that the little amount of his ice cream that was left had been reduced to a slightly chunky soup. He cursed before shoving the whole cone into his mouth before any of it could leak onto his hands. Purpled snickered when he started choking on said cone. 

"You were saying about not chewing ice cream?" Purpled asked, Tommy turning to glare at his smug little face. 

Tommy quickly swallowed down his ice cream. "I can't believe I'm going to marry you." He grumbled. 

Purpled rolled his eyes. "I can't either." He said, walking ahead of Tommy in order to reach a nearby bench on a hill. 

Tommy watched Purpled's back for a moment, making sure he wouldn't glance back, before reaching into the bag on his wrist and pulling out a small, black, velvet box. He slid his hands into his pockets to pretend nothing happened before walking faster to sit next to Purpled. 

The two sat in silence, watching children play at a nearby playground and parents walking along the footpath. They both used to play at the same park when they were little, being the same place that they'd met years ago. 

Tommy mindlessly nudged Purpled with his shoulder. Purpled returned the gesture, which Tommy refuses to admit aloud that it made his heart feel like electricity. Tommy felt that he might turn red at the thought. Leave it to his friends to make him feel all light and fuzzy inside. 

Tommy fiddled with the box in his pocket. He'd never really doubted that he was willing to marry Purpled. The whole thing didn't really mean anything to him except that he and Purpled would become closer because of this and neither of them would have to worry about money as much but Tommy also knew that Purpled didn't see it that way. He knew that, to Purpled, this was a big deal. It was a commitment, a promise, a bond, and a journey all in one that he didn’t know how to take the first step for. Tommy thinks that Purpled worries too much for a guy who claims to not care about anything. 

“You know,” Tommy began, still staring ahead. “I didn’t think we’d get this far.” 

“Yeah?” Purpled asked, urging Tommy to continue. 

“I think we both know I didn’t actually have a plan when I thought this up.” Tommy said. “I thought you would get tired of me not knowing what I was doing and shut the whole plan down. I didn’t expect you to be as patient as you are.” 

There was a moment of pause, the two friends enjoying each other's presence. 

“It sounds silly,” Tommy chuckles. “We’ve been friends for so long and I’m still surprised that you can put up with me long enough for us to actually work together. I think the only other person I work with nearly as well as you is Tubbo, and he’s my best friend. I can work with lots of people, like Techno, Dream, Ranboo, Quackity. But none of them are patient enough, smart enough, and strong enough to work with me the same way you do. Everyone always has something to say about me and how loud or annoying I am, but not you.” 

Tommy felt Purple’s gaze on the side of his face but he didn’t meet it. 

“We have our reservations with each other but I can’t remember a single time where you called me loud, annoying, or too much. We argue but we never do it to hurt each other's feelings, and when we do we always know how to apologize. We know what buttons to press to keep things fun and we always remind each other of when the other is going too far. But you know so many ways to make me happy and I sometimes feel like I never know how to return the favor.” 

Tommy turned to Purpled, seeing his shocked and starstruck eyes that glowed like the swirling cosmos above. 

“But I think I do now.” 

Tommy moved to be kneeling in front of Purpled, holding out the opened ring box to the other blonde. Tommy didn’t even need to make himself smile, he was already happy when Purpled continued to stare into his eyes. 

“Purpled Rose, would you marry me?” 

Tommy was a little surprised when Purpled started full on laughing, but he wasn’t complaining when Purpled flung forward to wrap his arms around Tommy. 

“You make everything so cheesy.” The purple eyed boy giggled. 

“Is that a yes?” Tommy asked, even if he already knew the answer. Knowing the answer didn’t change the fact that he still felt nervous. 

“Of course it’s a yes, Tommy.” Purpled pushed himself off Tommy enough to hold him at arm's length. “I couldn’t see myself doing this with anyone else.” He said, voice quieting a little as his expression softened into fondness. 

Tommy smiled, moving his hands to support Purpled better. “Me either.” He agreed. 

Moving day came in what felt like a blink of an eye. Nothing really special happened before it besides the actual signing of papers and changing Purpled’s last name to Innit. But besides that, nothing really noteworthy. 

When they’d told their friends and family that they’d eloped, most of them were completely confused and caught off guard. Of course, Tubbo already knew and Purpled had told his older brother ahead of time for… extenuating circumstances. Everyone else was completely baffled and had badgered the duo with questions both before and during the move, some even staying after to ask questions. The only ones who didn’t ask more than three questions were Technoblade, Bad, and Skeppy, which was expected in all honesty. 

Still, everything was moved in, furniture was set up and arranged, and the newlyweds spent the rest of their week just unpacking and rearranging everything. In the end they each had their own room that also worked as their office, a small kitchen area, a bathroom the two knew they would end up fighting over, a small hall closet, and a cozy little living area large enough to hold plenty of guests. Tommy and Purpled thought it was perfect. They had what they needed, they had separate living spaces, and they could have friends and family over whenever they wanted. What more could they ask for? 

Tommy and Purpled stared after Ranboo and Tubbo as the two carefully walked side by side in front of them and, with just a glance to the other, the two blondes decided that they most definitely did not ask for this.

Chapter Text

Tommy burst out laughing, falling back into his armchair. Tubbo cackled at Tommy's reaction and Purpled only gave a light-hearted scoff and a roll of the eyes. They had been talking all morning, Tubbo having barged into the apartment because he didn't have work that day and was, in his words, 'so fucking bored I might just kill someone'. Of course, Tommy and Purpled, understanding Tubbo's violent tendencies, didn't take it to heart and had let him in with open arms. 

Tommy felt his phone buzzing in his pocket. He pulled it out to find that it was Ranboo calling him. He excused himself and walked off to his room in order to answer the call. 

"Hey, Boob Boy. What's up?" 

"Hey Tommy," Ranboo greeted. "Can I come over?" 

"Yeah, come right on over! We're making tea right now." Tommy grinned. 

"Great," Ranboo said, Tommy finally catching the strain in his words. "Because I'm here." 

Tommy made a confused noise when Ranboo immediately hung up before hearing a knock at the front door. He cursed under his breath before racing for the front door, yelling at Purpled and Tubbo to stay fucking seated, before throwing it open to find Ranboo hunched in on himself, his phone still in his hand. He saw Ranboo glance inside before immediately locking eyes back with Tommy, his frame becoming even stiffer. 

Now, Tommy is no stranger to stress and panic attacks. He got them a lot growing up and he still gets them every so often. Wilbur used to help him with breathing exercises and songs on his guitar. Both Tubbo and Purpled have had to help him through his panic countless times, though Purpled didn't have half the experience as Tubbo on the count of meeting in middle school and Tubbo being his best friend since diapers. Tommy knew that Ranboo was either about to fall into a panic attack or was just falling out of a panic attack. Either way, he needed comfort and friends stat. So, of course, Tommy already knew what to do because he was the biggest man and could do no wrong. 

"Get in here, bitch. We're playing Mario Kart." 

Ranboo only nodded, stepping into the apartment and sitting in Tommy's armchair. Tommy would yell at him but then he'd have to deal with Ranboo apologizing and trying to fit on the couch that he always looked super uncomfortable on. Tommy didn't know why Ranboo always looked uncomfortable on the couch, as it wasn't too short for him and there was plenty of room for him, Tubbo, and anyone else to sit, but Tommy wasn't going to question the comfort levels of others. He remembers Wilbur snapping at him one day because Tommy wasn't leaving him alone on one of his bad days. 

"Purp, throw on Mario Kart." Tommy ordered, heading for the kitchen to start preparing tea. 

Purpled gave a tired sound as he got out of his chair. "You could at least say please." 

The electric teapot went off, like it was acting on behalf of Tommy. Tommy rolled his eyes, turning the pot off and pulling out four cups. "Oh Purpled, would you please turn Mario Kart on, bitch?" 

Purpled only scoffed, already setting up the TV to be on the right setting. "At least please is in your vocabulary." 

"Alright, time for tea roulette!" Tommy suddenly announced, continuing to make the different teas. He knew everyone's favorite teas by heart and kept them together in the highest cabinet. "Will Purpled get tea, cool aid, or poison? Keep watching to find out!" 

"Fuck you," Purpled called as he finally pulled the game up. 

"Oop, looks like we're adding expired chocolate to the mix as a surprise ingredient today!" 

"Don't make me come in there and throw that monstrosity in your face!" Purpled shouted, making Tommy give a mix of explosive laughter and a terrified shriek. 

Tommy soon brought out the drinks, handing them to each person before taking his seat next to Tubbo. They started up the game, Tommy and Purpled quickly becoming super competitive. The problem was, Tubbo and Ranboo weren't matching their energy. Ranboo, Tommy understood. He was having a bad day and probably spacing out. There was no excuse for Tubbo. He'd come there to avoid boredom and this was a high energy game. Tubbo wasn't any good at Mario Kart but he, without a shadow of a doubt, would always take any chance he got to fuck Tommy over. Purpled seemed to be thrown off by this too, because he kept making mistakes that he never made when playing against Tommy, like getting hit by red shells and sliding on banana peels. 

Tommy wanted to just stop the game and ask what was wrong but one glance to Purpled made him change his mind. Purpled was doing his best to ignore the fact that Tubbo and Ranboo were even there and Tommy wasn't about to ruin Purpled's mood too. So, Tommy ignored the slowly growing awkward vibes until Tubbo and Ranboo finally left an hour or two later. The door shut behind them and Tommy waited all of ten seconds before whirling on his husband. 

"What happened?" Tommy started, feeling his irritation that had been building over the hour begin to spill over the edge. "Everything was going just fine, and then Ranboo showed up and we all decided to just shut off? What the fuck?" Tommy asked, beginning to pace. 

"I don't know, Toms." Purpled mumbled, brows furrowed. "But we shouldn't intervene. This isn't our problem. We should just let them fix this themselves." 

"But if we know what's wrong, than we can just-" 

"No, we can't, Tommy." Purpled interrupted, grabbing Tommy by the shoulders to stop him in his tracks. "We'll just make it worse. We either wait for them to come to us or we let them work it out by themselves. That's all we can do." 

Tommy groaned in defeat. "I don't know if I can do that." 

Purpled gave a knowing smile, almost self-deprecating if Tommy had to hazard a guess. "Yeah. Me either." 

Tommy did try to be patient. He swears. But it had been three weeks and Tommy had been getting more and more frustrated every time he witnessed Tubbo and Ranboo in the same vicinity as each other. It was like they were middle schoolers' avoiding their fucking crush and, when they couldn't, they just shut down. They barely even greeted each other on a good day. Whatever the fuck was going on, Tommy just wanted it over. He wanted his friends back. He wanted his trio. He wanted his family away from his family. He wanted his brothers back! Sue him for feeling anxious when it felt like one of the most important relationships in his life was falling apart like sand in his hands. 

So, one day, when it was just him and Tubbo sat on a bench next to the park's pond, he asked Tubbo something that he had promised himself he wouldn't ask. 

"What's up with you and Ranboo?" 

He saw Tubbo stiffen next to him, causing panic to shoot up Tommy's spine. 

"I mean, you've been avoiding each other lately. I just thought I'd ask why. You guys are usually inseparable." Tommy continued, because he didn't have a fucking filter and wasn't stupid enough already. 

"What the fuck are you implying?" Tubbo asked, a cold defense taking over his features. 

Tommy immediately started trying to backtrack because what the fuck was Tubbo talking about? "No, Tubs, I'm serious. I don't know what's wrong. I just wanted to know what happened. Did you get in a fight? Do you like each other-" 

Tubbo suddenly stood. "Fuck off Tommy! You don't know anything!" 

"Tubbo-!" 

"Don't fucking assume just because I'm not feeling fine and dandy!" 

"Then tell me what's wrong so I don't have to assume!" Tommy shouted back, standing sharply. 

"Don't fucking assume in the first place! It's not your fucking business what I'm feeling! So fucking leave me alone!" Tubbo shouted, turning away. 

"Wait, Tubbo-" Tommy reached out but it was too late. Tubbo was already gone. 

Tommy reluctantly walked into his apartment, not spotting Purpled anywhere in view. He cleared his throat. 

"Purpled..." He called. "I fucked up..." 

There was a pause before Tommy heard a door open down the hall and Purpled stepped out of his room. Tommy let the front door shut behind him as the two blondes stared at each other. Tommy felt like the apartment itself was mocking him and his mistakes. The apartment was too still, too dark, too quiet, too cramped. Tommy just needed something. Something that wasn't just nothing. 

Then Purpled held out his arm in invitation. 

Tommy felt the tears well up in his eyes as he choked on a building sob. He raced over to Purpled, ramming into his chest and clutching the overly soft hoodie the other always wore. Purpled held him equally as tight, lightly rocking Tommy back and forth. Tommy nuzzled his face into the crook of Purpled's neck, sniffling to try and keep himself together because he didn't cry. He wasn't going to cry. He was better than that. It was his mistake, his problem, he could handle it. 

Purpled shushed him. "It's okay. Let's go lay down. You can stay with me tonight. I won't leave your side. I promise." He whispered, gently rubbing Tommy's back. 

Tommy's breath hitched, a stray tear slipping free. Purpled lead him into the room, laying both of them on the bed and holding Tommy to his chest. A sob slipped past the younger's lips, then another tear fell, then more, and there was just no stopping the incoming breakdown. Tommy couldn't tell you how long they laid there, Tommy crying into Purpled's favorite hoodie and Purpled doing nothing but holding the younger and rubbing soft circles into his back. The only thing Tommy knew was that, after a while, he woke up to the sun peaking through the window and Purpled still holding him to his chest as he did something behind Tommy's back. 

Tommy groaned, shuffling away from Purpled enough to rub at his eyes. "What time is it?" He yawned. 

"Almost noon," Purpled answered, unwrapping one of his arms to show Tommy the time. Tommy didn't care enough to actually look at it. 

"Fuck, man." Tommy groaned, stretching out his back while still not moving from his spot. "Did you already get breakfast?" 

"Nah," Purpled hummed, wrapping his arm back around Tommy to continue playing games how he was before or something. 

"What the fuck? Why not?" Tommy muttered. 

"Because," Purpled adjusted himself. "I told you I wasn't leaving your side. Not until you don't need me anymore." 

Tommy felt warmth bloom in his chest. He probably would have cried again if the statement didn't sound so cheesy. Tommy nuzzled into Purpled's chest again, hiding his face. 

"Fuck off." His voice was muffled but he knew Purpled heard it when he let out an amused huff. 

"You ready to talk yet?" Purpled asked. 

Tommy only contemplated his answer for a moment before deciding that it didn't really matter anymore. So he told Purpled everything, from the slip up to the quick escalation of the argument and Tubbo storming off. Purpled didn't interrupt him, not even with hums of understanding. He just waited for Tommy to finish before speaking. 

"Well, you did fuck up. There's not much we can do there." 

"Okay, wow, rude." Tommy muttered. 

"But I think you should at least apologize to him. At least send him a text. And then you can wait for him to come to you when he's ready." Purpled continued. 

"What if he never comes to me?" Tommy breathed. 

"He'll come." Purpled assured. Tommy believed him. "Now let's go get breakfast." 

"Don't you mean lunch?" Tommy asked as they both slowly sat up. 

"I mean breakfast." Purpled corrected. "We'll have lunch after." He added with a cheeky smirk. 

Tommy grinned. "And this is why we're married." 

Tommy and Purpled sat at the breakfast bar, eating nothing but toast as they talked about their newest projects, when Tommy's phone buzzed atop the counter. Tommy checked the caller name before groaning. 

"It's Ranboo," He moaned, picking himself up and heading for his room. Purpled gave him a pat on the shoulder as he passed, Tommy taking it as the silent support it was. 

Tommy closed the door behind him, sitting at his work desk before answering the call. "Hello?" 

"Hey, Tommy."Ranboo greeted, sounding extremely nervous. "I, uh, wanted to ask you something." 

"Of course," Tommy said, putting Ranboo on speaker so he could get started on his work. 

"Cool, cool. Just, uh- It's just-" Ranboo gave a short noise of frustration before trying again. "What are you and Purpled again?" 

Tommy blinked in surprise before realizing that he really shouldn't have been surprised. "Are you asking about our marriage or our relationship? Because those are two very different things." Tommy said. 

"Um, you're relationship, i guess." Ranboo told him, though his words sounded more like a question. 

"Well," Tommy began. "We're part of a mutually beneficial queer platonic relationship, or QPR for short. Purpled is my queer platonic partner, or QPP for short. We became a QPR so people would leave us alone and so we could move into an apartment together and get tax benefits for it." 

"So a QPR is like a business deal?" Ranboo questioned, unsure. 

"Not really," Tommy muttered. "Me and Purpled kinda use it like that but that's not what a QPR usually is." 

"Then what is it?" 

"Well," Tommy looked up in thought. "It's a relationship where two or more people decide to share a relationship that is not romantic and usually isn't sexual, but that part is usually up to comfort levels and personal preference. Really it just depends on the person. I personally like to say it's like friends with benefits but usually without the sex part." Tommy joked. 

"Ah," Ranboo hummed, sounding even more nervous. 

"But," Tommy spoke again before Ranboo could think too much. "Purpled likes to say that it's when you have a really strong connection to one or more people that you can't imagine your life without but also can't see yourself in a romantic relationship with. Technically, families are queer platonic relationships, if you think about it, but they don't really fall under that umbrella. Me and Purpled, specifically, came together because we felt we could do better together than we could apart." 

"So it's a committed relationship with no romance?" 

"Not really. It more depends on the people in the QPR. You're both still independent people with independent lives. It's more what you both define your relationship as. QPR's are flexible because they usually define asexual or aromantic relationships, though they're not exclusive to those labels and people under those labels don't have to exclusively be apart of this type of relationship. Hell, you don't even have to be restricted to only a QPR. I've met plenty of people who are part of a QPR and a romantic relationship." 

"Okay, now you're pulling my leg." Ranboo scoffed. 

"I'm not!" Tommy defended. "Skeppy and Bad have both dated people while being together, I know Grian, Scar, and Mumbo explore their options often. Hell, Cleo and Scott became QPP's because they were both having relationship problems and needed someone to help support them while they took care of it." 

"Stop trying to tell me that cheating is okay!" Ranboo whined. 

"It's not cheating! QPRs are just bonus friendships! How are you supposed to cheat on your friend?" 

"It's still a relationship!" 

"So are friendships! And familial relationships! It's not a romantic relationship! If it was, me and Purpled wouldn't be together!" 

"It's the principle of the thing, Tommy! You don't just start seeing other people when your with someone, so why would this be any different?" 

Tommy groaned in frustration, having long forgotten his work. This wasn't working. Ranboo had a too thick skull and no common sense. If Tommy could bust the guy's head in, he would. 

"You're not listening!" Tommy shouted. 

"You're not making any sense!" Ranboo returned. 

"Well, maybe try being a little more open-minded! I can't-" Tommy took a deep breath, realizing that he was getting nowhere by being angry. "Call me back when you're ready to listen. I've got shit to do." 

"Wait, Tommy-" 

Tommy hung up and went back to his work. He only let himself feel bad for so long. If Ranboo really wanted to know this stuff, he could try again later. 

"And he just couldn't get it through his fucking head!" Tommy complained, his head in Purpled's lap. 

Purpled hummed, not moving his eyes from the TV as he played one of the random fighting games the two of them had laying around. He'd already been playing when Tommy burst out of his room after finishing his commission, flopping onto the couch and ranting about Ranboo not understanding QPR's or something. Honestly, Purpled was just letting him rant in the background while he focused on his game. He knows exactly what Tommy's saying - Purpled's always been able to listen to what other people say, even when he's trying not to listen - but it's not like Tommy actually wants his input, so Purpled continued playing his game. 

Suddenly, Purpled's phone buzzed on the coffee table. 

"Alright, take over for me." Purpled said, handing his controller to Tommy and pushing the younger off in order to stand. 

"Wha- Oh, you bitch!" Tommy scowled, even as he did start playing the game. 

Purpled paid him no mind, picking up his phone and heading to his room as he checked the caller ID. He was a little surprised to find it was Tubbo and not one of his customers but he figured Tubbo was trying to figure out how to apologize to Tommy or something. As soon as he reached his room he answered. 

"Hello?" 

"Why did you and Tommy get together?" 

Purpled blinked at the seemingly random question. That was the first thing Tubbo says? Not even a hello? Really? 

"Fucking pardon?" He asked. 

"Just answer the question," Tubbo said, sounding entirely too nervous and too frustrated for Purpled's liking. 

"Um," Purpled furrowed his brows in suspicion. "I think it started as a way for people to get off Tommy's back." Purpled supplied. 

"Is that it?" Tubbo asked. 

"Not anymore, but yeah." Purpled replied. "Tommy came up with the idea while complaining one day and I just kinda went with it." 

"That makes no sense," Tubbo muttered. 

"Probably not to you but me and Tommy are doing great so far." 

"So far?" 

"We've been married for literally a month and have only been together for two months. We're still in the honeymoon phase." 

"I thought you both were aromantic?" 

"All relationships have a honeymoon phase, it just depends on the length." Purpled pinched the bridge of his nose. "Babies are only seen as amazing for so long, friendships can only be new for so long, married couples can only be newlyweds for so long." 

"Than what's stopping you from splitting up?" 

That was a loaded question. Purpled had millions of answers. Tommy does chores while Purpled is cooking because he's not allowed near the stove and if one of them doesn't do chores than neither of them are gonna keep the apartment clean. Tommy helps Purpled process his emotions when Purpled can't work through them on his own because of his alexithymia. Tommy understands Purpled's struggles because they share the same job and have similar interests. Tommy feels safe enough with Purpled to suggest the two of them get married in the first place without hesitation. Tommy is only completely honest with Purpled, no matter what he's done. Tommy sees Purpled and never forgets that he's there. But Purpled decided Tubbo didn't deserve to know any of that until he got a better attitude and actually talked to Tommy. 

"What's stopping us from being friends?" He shot back. 

"But you're in a relationship. Friendship can't possibly be the only reason you're together." 

Tubbo's partially right, obviously. Purpled cares about Tommy past the point of what most people would consider friendship. But that wasn't the point Purpled was making. 

"I don't think you understand what a QPR is." 

"No, I get it's a special form of friendship, of sort. But it's classified as something else so why would you and Tommy want to be together?" 

"Tubbo," Purpled lowered his voice to hopefully seem softer and more understanding. "You can like someone and not feel romantically or sexually attracted to them. There are a lot of grey areas in the world. Me and Tommy are somewhere between friend and family, just like Tommy is with you, but you two aren't QPR's. We care about each other enough to love each other but there's a difference between our love and romantic love." Purpled hesitated before adding to his words. "It's okay if you feel that way too." 

"But I don't want to feel that way towards Ranboo!" Tubbo whined, causing pieces to click into place in Purpled's head. "Every time I see him it feels so weird because it feels like I'm in love with him but I don't feel attracted to him in any way and- and- ugh, I don't know how to explain it!" A slam was heard on Tubbo's side of the call. 

Purpled hummed. "Yeah, that sounds about right." He said, giving a slight shrug despite Tubbo not being able to see him. "Honestly, there's not much you can do. You can't really help how you feel and you can either act on those feelings or just wait until they go away." 

Tubbo grumbled. "You're not very helpful." 

"You said nothing about being helpful. You just asked me questions." Purpled pointed out. 

Tubbo groaned before hanging up without a word. Purpled only shrugged and put his phone away. 

Purpled went back to Tommy, stealing the controller out of his hand and sitting next to him. 

"What the fuck? I was winning!" Tommy complained. 

"Yeah, and I'm about to do it for you." Purpled snarked. 

"Fuck you," Tommy grumbled, crossing his arms and leaning against Purpled. "Who were you talking to?" 

"Tubbo," 

"Alright," 

And like that, they went back to Tommy's complaining. 

"We need eggs, peanut butter, celery, beef, and butter." Purpled tells Ranboo as they walk down the street. 

It's been about a week since Tommy and Tubbo's fight and the two still haven't spoken to each other. Tommy doesn't want to blame Tubbo for still being mad but Purpled thinks that Tubbo is being a bit ridiculous. So, Tommy had sent him off to get groceries as a distraction. Purpled had dragged Ranboo to come along as well, leading to the two walking down Kinoko Street, a popular shopping district for everything from everyday groceries to pet shops of all kind.

Kinoko Street used to be a shopping mall called 'Kinoko Kingdom Mall' that kept expanding until it became an entire road that stretched for five miles on both sides of the road. It was the biggest mall in the world and no other mall came close to its sheer size. It just so happened to be the closest shopping district to Tommy and Purpled's apartment. Purpled denies that he chose the apartment for that exact reason. 

"Is that actually it?" Ranboo asked. 

"Well, I have an entire list just for Tommy but he doesn't really know that so yes, that's it." Purpled replied. 

"Why is there just a list for Tommy?" Ranboo asked. 

"Because he's been stressing himself out all week." Purpled shrugged. 

"I guess but haven't you been doing enough for him? You both have your own lives to live and you two aren't exactly known for being team players-" Ranboo said, looking as if he didn't even know what he was saying. 

"Don't you get gifts for the people you care about?" Purpled interrupted. 

"I- uh- Sometimes?" 

"And do you do nice things for people you care about?" 

Ranboo slumped in resigned understanding. 

"I'll do what I want in order to help Tommy. Besides, it's just food. It's no big expense for me to get him snacks." Purpled told the taller boy. 

"But you're not even dating..." Ranboo mumbled, probably trying to be quiet enough for Purpled not to hear. Unfortunately, Purpled has fantastic hearing. 

Oh dear mother of XD, Purpled thought. This shit again? 

Purpled contemplated ignoring Ranboo but then decided that was both boring and unhelpful for everyone involved in whatever the fuck was happening anymore. So, he spoke up. 

"You know, me and Tommy like to do things for each other to show our appreciation." 

"Oh?" Ranboo hummed, looking like he wanted to be anywhere else. 

"Tommy likes giving gifts to people and I like getting things from people, but we can't really do that for each other because that's literally our job and would just make the gift useless in our eyes. So we do stuff for each other instead, like cleaning the house and making dinner. It's something we do that we don't do for anyone else." 

"Oh." Purpled looks to Ranboo to see his considering look. "Is- um- Are Skeppy and Bad the same way?" 

"No," Purpled said. "They're relationship is very different from ours. I don't think you could find a QPR more different, honestly." 

"What's their relationship like?" Ranboo asked. 

Purpled only shrugged. "I don't know. It's not my relationship so it's not my problem. Ask them if you want to know..." Purpled trailed off, spotting something white in a store across the street. 

"I guess I- Purpled?" Ranboo questioned, trying to follow Purpled's gaze. 

Purpled moved without thinking, making his way across the street with a confused Ranboo at his side. When he reached the shop he was looking for, he pressed his nose against the glass the meet eyes with a big, white husky pup who looked to be nearing adulthood. Their coat had a light dusting of gold that made them look like a lightly toasted marshmallow. The pup licked the window where Purpled's nose was pressed against, making Purpled smile and let out an amused huff. 

"Purpled?" Ranboo spoke behind the blonde. 

The purple eyed boy barely spared the split dyed boy a glance before focusing back on the pup. "I'm adopting him." 

"Purpled, you can't just buy a dog." Ranboo argued. 

"Alright, I'll ask Tommy." Purpled replied, already pulling out his phone and dialing his husband. 

"Purpled, getting a dog requires more consideration. How do you even know you'll be able to take care of it? Does your apartment even allow pets? Do you have enough money? Do you have enough time to care for it? Enough space-" Ranboo tried to reason. 

The phone stopped dialing. "Hello?" 

"Hey Toms," Purpled greeted, far too cheerful even for his own liking but he didn't give it much thought when the husky pup put his paw on the window to try and reach Purpled. "Can we get a dog?" 

"Did you even-" 

"Sure, what kind?" 

"A husky pup." 

"Oh, fuck yeah. Bring them home now!" 

"You're not even listening to me anymore-" 

"I'm gonna see if we can take him home in a couple days so we can get the apartment ready." 

"Ah, good idea. I'll see if I can find places for a bed and food." 

"Make sure the hall closet has enough space for food and item storage." 

"Will do."

"You're amazing." 

"Of course I am, I'm Tommy fucking Innit." 

The two said goodbye and Purpled finally turned back to Ranboo, who looked utterly done. 

"Do you know how to adopt a dog?" Purpled asked. 

Ranboo's palm met his face with a dull 'smack'. 

A knock sounded at the front door. 

"Tom! Can you get that?" Purpled shouted from his room as Dogchamp raced out of the room, barking wildly. 

Tommy stumbled as Dogchamp weaved through his legs to get to the door. "Oi, down boy! Down!" Tommy laughed. Tommy grabbed the husky by the collar before opening the door, finding exactly who he wanted to see. Tubbo. 

Tubbo still hasn't talked to Tommy about the whole Ranboo incident and honestly, Tommy doubted he ever would. Tubbo had a habit of pushing stuff down until he was forced to confront it. Tommy didn't really blame him. Tommy didn't exactly do apologies so he didn't really have room to speak when someone held grudges. So, Tommy greeted him with a smile. 

"Just in time, Tubs. Come on in." He said, moving so Dogchamp couldn't block Tubbo's path. 

Tubbo gave him and Dogchamp a greeting, letting Dogchamp attack his face with kisses as he did nothing but laugh. Tommy moved back to the nearest mirror, making sure he at least looked nicer than usual, smoothing out his clothes. When he decided he looked good enough, he turned from the mirror and made sure Tubbo was paying attention. 

"Dogchamp's bowls are in the kitchen, his bed is next to the couch, everything else you need are at the bottom of the hall closet. He might need to go out soon. Your free to take him for a walk but he doesn't have a lot of training so he'll try to drag you everywhere. Just keep him away from other dogs and you'll be fine. Me and Purp should be back around eleven so you're free to crash on the couch if you're not up to driving home when we get back. And the fridge is free to raid." Tommy tells the brunet. 

"What are you and Purpled even doing?" Tubbo asked. "You never actually explained it over the phone." 

"Tubbo, I told you about our date to the theater tonight. We have tickets for Hello Dolly- Thanks for the idea, by the way." Tommy said, a puzzled look on his face. 

"Right, but you said it was a friend date. What is that?" Tubbo clarifies. 

"Oh," Tommy blinked. "Well, it's just a date but platonic." 

"Are there any other differences?" 

"Visually? Not really. But we both have the agreement that nothing is gonna happen by the end of the night, so there's that." Tommy shrugs. 

"Toms,where're my keys?" Purpled calls from his room. 

Tommy glances around before spotting them on the coffee table and grabbing them. 

"I've got them!" Tommy calls back. 

"Thank you!" Purpled called back but didn't leave his room yet. 

Tommy turns back to Tubbo. "Why do you ask?" Tommy prompts the brunet. 

Tubbo looks slightly startled. "I just didn't know that was a thing." Tubbo defended, looking back to Dogchamp to avoid Tommy's eyes. 

Tommy shrugged again. "Eh, not a lot of people know. Me and Purp only found out about them a little before we got together, maybe a couple months. We've been going out every week since we got married. Purpled likes having a day where we can just ignore everyone and I like to spoil him, so it works. He won't admit it but he really likes it when I-" 

"Thomas Innit, if you go spitting lies I'm gonna come out there and kick your ass!" Purpled called, finally stepping out of his room in an outfit much nicer than Tommy's but still somehow casual. Tommy totally wasn't jealous that Purpled could make anything look casual. Of course not. Why would he? Shut up. 

"That would mean you'd have to catch me and we both know you're not fast enough to do that." Tommy teased, Purpled coming up to his side. 

"Fucker," Purpled grumbled, handing Tubbo the spare key. "That's a key to the apartment. I expect it back when we return." 

Tubbo nods and Tommy hands Purpled his keys. They give Dogchamp an excitable goodbye before leaving Tubbo with a hyper dog. 

It's a few days later, where Tommy is laying across Purpled's lap as they watch MCC, that Tommy gets a message from Tubbo. 

Tommy grumbled at the buzz of his phone, glancing at the screen to see it was Tubbo. He furrowed his brows in confusion before opening the message. When he did, he couldn't help but burst out laughing. 

It was a snap of Ranboo across a cafe table, giving Tubbo's camera a glare that was ruined by the smile he was trying to suppress. There were two milkshakes in the frame, one really close to the camera and one right in front of Ranboo. The caption itself reads 'Thanks for the idea Tommy'. 

"What?" Purpled asked, amused by Tommy's sudden laughter. Tommy shows him the snap and Purpled chuckles. "Fucking finally. I was wondering when they'd get their act together." 

"Oh please, we both know they wouldn't have done anything without our help. They're both too thick to get the hint on their own." Tommy scoffed, turning back to the TV just as the teams made it to the newest ace-race course. "At least now we'll be left alone." 

"Don't jinx it, Toms." Purpled passively warns, also turning his attention back to the game. 

And just like that, just for this moment, they rested.