Work Text:
Charlie X episode. A scene on the bridge after Kirk is talking about Charlie and Janice.
‘Did you have similar trouble growing up Spock? I know I did, all those hormones swirling around when you had your first crush on a girl…?’ Kirk asked, his eyes twinkling.
‘I can assure I did not Sir’ he raised his eyebrows in surprise.
Kirk smiled. ‘Oh really? Don’t young Vulcans go through puberty?’
‘Yes Captain but it is not like your human experience.’
‘So you never had those awkward growing pains? even though you’re half human?’
‘It was harder for me because of my human heritage, however I did not make a fool of myself for the sake of the opposite sex.’
‘Oh I see, never wanted a girl so much you thought you’d go mad?’
Spock was practically rolling his eyes. ‘It is hardly an appropriate thing to discuss.’
‘I am sorry Mr. Spock, -but I will take your silence as admonition’ he smirked. Loving nothing more than to tease him. It was so easy.
Spock was getting agitated. ‘I never -‘ he started. Then said ‘I may have been through puberty similar to you but I never ‘wanted a girl’ -as you put it.’ He got up. ‘Now if you’ll excuse me’. He abruptly left the bridge.
Kirk smiled. Then he paused a moment when he realised Spock had never left the bridge like that before while on duty... Why was he so worked up? It was only a silly joke. -wait, perhaps there was something Spock wasn’t telling him. -He never wanted a girl… meaning what ? Who did Spock want? If anyone… Kirk sat in silence for a while, wondering what he should he should do. If anything… He wanted to say - he understood - he liked men too - he didn’t mean to be such a brute. Oh Spock if only you knew, he shook his head. He decided to go after him.
He pressed the bell at Spock’s quarters. No answer. He tried again and waited. Eventually Spock opened the door.
’Captain, apologies for leaving my post, I will return immediately.’
’No Spock it’s alright. I came to apologise to you.’
’It’s of no consequence Captain, I… -overreacted.’ Kirk raised his eyebrow.
’Can I come in?’ He said. Spock moved aside and the door closed on them.
’The truth is Spock I was being insensitive and I should know better.’ Spock was looking elsewhere in the room avoiding eye contact.
’Really Captain we needn’t discuss it.’
’Well if you say so but I wanted you to know, we humans are progressive peoples for the most part, we can love whoever we want to on Earth and in the stars, without fear of judgement…’ Spock was now staring at him, speechless. ‘And we don’t have to hide who we really are anymore, stigma around sexuality has decreased dramatically in the last 100 years.’
’Thats well and good sir, may I ask the purpose of this history lesson?’ His sass was returning.
’I was wondering if its different on Vulcan?’
’Yes, -quite different’ Spock became somber again.
’Spock I- well I, I wanted to say sorry’
’You already did sir’
’I mean, I’m sorry that Vulcan can’t accept you, the real you…’ he trailed off. ‘But Earth does, -I -do…’ he had not planned this far ahead and was starting to feel out of control. Spock looked concerned. And for a moment it was quiet. ‘Looks like I’ve said too much, -I’ll go’ Kirk began toward the door.
‘No, wait Captain -Thank you’ He reached and grabbed Kirks arm. ‘I am ashamed that I let myself be that emotional on the bridge, I’m hoping it was only you who noticed.’ He turned away again.
‘It’s nothing to be ashamed of Spock’
’My father and the rest of Vulcan would disagree..’ he mused.
’Well no disrespect to your father but I think I know you a little better than he does… -or at least I’d like to.’ he smiled, as Spock looked back at him. ‘And it doesn’t make me think less of you.’ - ‘In fact I - ought to tell you - I’m somewhat of a bisexual myself’ he smirked. Spock looked at him with a blank look. ‘Okay now I really have said too much-‘ he turned toward the door again.
’No Jim, I- please understand- Vulcans do not discuss such things, so I am -unsure how to respond…’
’You don’t have to say anything Spock’ He said, touching his hand. ‘But if you do think of something, you can always come to me.’ - ‘See you on the bridge’ And he walked out of Spock’s quarters.