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Chapter Text

Nearly twelve whole hours after Lucy Chen and Tim Bradford stood in the parking lot of the Mid-Wilshire police station desperately avoiding their new 'elephant in the room,' they inevitably found themselves right back in the same spot.

"So...um, good job today," Tim remarked, awkwardly shifting the strap of his backpack at the uncharacteristic praise.

Lucy cleared her throat. "Thanks. Y-You too." 

It had been a long day, to say the least. Not only due to the actual police work aspect of the operation, but because everything that happened between them felt infinitely more consequential than just simply 'work'.

For example, the way Lucy shifted in her seat towards Tim while they were working on their backstory in the morning. Or the way that Tim's eyes surveyed her when she emerged in her 'Juicy' disguise.

Every touch. Every look. There were, evidently, a plethora of those to over-analyze.

Of course, there was also the kiss. The incredibly hot, unbelievably passionate kiss that Tim planted on Lucy halfway through the operation when they were caught eavesdropping on Hajek and his right-hand man discussing illegal business matters. Was the kiss absolutely necessary to convince the bodyguard who discovered them that they were doing absolutely nothing suspicious? Probably not. Did it happen, anyways, regardless of that fact? Of course it did. Because for Tim, at least, it was all that came to mind. 

Because it was all he could think about. 

That damned practice kiss in her apartment had consumed him ever since he closed the door. It'd upended his beliefs. Caused him to question his perception of every interaction and feeling he'd had since Sergeant Grey announced that Officer Bradford was assigned the new hotshot rookie that made her first arrest before shift. 

And if the practice kiss was life-altering for Tim, the undercover one was life-altering for Lucy.

There had been absolutely no trace of the prior timidness he'd exhibited the night before when they practiced. This time, he was determined. Demanding. Controlling, even. It brought her back to those early days of being his rookie when he would use that sharp tongue of his to chastise her on any small misstep in protocol or procedure. This time he used it to instead win a battle for dominance that she didn't even know she was a competitor in. Until the end when he finally relented, and then his pace slowed to a sweetness that was familiar to her, too. A pause against her forehead to check her swollen lips had her in such a complete frenzy she was barely able to comprehend words properly.

Lucy was certain not another day would pass where she didn't think of that kiss. 

So when the op finally ended with Hajek and his crew hauled away in handcuffs, the pretense of work was over and all that remained was the amplified tension of what all of it meant.

Which ultimately led to this moment. Back in the parking lot in their own clothes—now Tim and Lucy, not Dim and Juicy—and standing in the same spot they left all their unanswered questions in the morning. 

“You have plans tonight?” Lucy inquired, attempting to keep the mood casual. Tim shook his head. 

“Not really. It’ll probably be an early night.” He’d hardly gotten any sleep the night before and was utterly exhausted. Nearly every bone in his body was aching, in desperate need of sleep and Tylenol. “You?” 

She’d hardly slept, either. “Same. No, uh, plans with Ashley, then?”

It was an obvious effort to fish for information, and if Tim wasn't so nervous with the question having been asked, he might have picked up on that. Instead, he scrambled to figure out how to respond to her question without prompting more explanation. It was likely a futile endeavor, knowing Lucy. He tried, anyway.

“I—uh, we broke up…actually.” 

Tim couldn’t help but zero in on Lucy’s reaction as he revealed the news, hoping he would find some trace of emotion that might give him some indication into what she was feeling. Unfortunately for him, she was just as good at hiding her true emotions as she was at undercover work. Lucy merely bounced on her heels, an expert at concealing the intrigue and hope in her eyes and replacing it with shock, instead.

“Oh? I-I’m sorry, Tim. What happened?” 

“It’s not important.” He waved it off, though he was positive they’d come back to the topic eventually. It would be a cold day in hell before Lucy Chen ever let him get away with not talking about something in his personal life. 

And true to that statement, as the silence surrounded them, he could see the familiar itch in her eyes that told him she was holding something back. The longer the silence grew, the more he understood what she wanted to discuss. Tim yearned to bring it up, too, but he wasn't exactly sure how best to approach the subject. He’d tried earlier—in that same spot, as a matter of fact—but couldn’t deliver. 

Eventually, they both started at the same time.

"So we should—" 

"Look, we need to—" 

They each broke off in nervous laughter until Tim felt it appropriate to gesture to her, similar to how she had earlier in the morning. “You first this time?” 

Lucy nodded in agreement, her breath hitching with a sharp inhale. Though she meant for her words to come out slow and calculated, they came out in a jumbled rush.

“We need to talk, Tim.” 

They were the words he probably should’ve said the first time they stood there; but better late than never, he supposed. The fear inside of him threatened to take over when he briefly contemplated whether or not to avoid the whole situation; but, ultimately, he decided that with all the turmoil the last twenty-four hours had brought to him, it was unwise to do so.

Therefore, with a curt nod, Tim agreed. “Yeah, we do.” 

An awkward moment passed until she filled the silence. “So…we kissed.”

“Yes…we did.” 

“And now it’s weird.”

“A little,” he admitted. An understatement, surely.  

“I think this is the most you’ve ever agreed with me,” Lucy commented pointedly, unable to stop herself from remarking on that fact. He frowned in an attempt to avoid the eye roll that threatened, but it only earned her smile. “I could get used to it, you know.” 

“Yeah, well. Don’t,” Tim warned. Though, it was nothing more than a tease and she was well aware.

Lucy exhaled a soft chuckle from deep in her chest as she glanced down at the concrete, shifting her weight onto her other leg while playing with the keyring in her hand. He could tell she was nervous and would be lying if he didn't say he felt the same. This was uncharted waters they were entering into. A delicate tight rope they were about to walk. 

He decided to break the ice. After all, she'd made an attempt earlier. It was his turn now.

“Lucy,” Tim began, tone suddenly graver than before. The call of her name forced her eyes to flicker up and lock with his. “What does it…mean?” 

The question certainly threw her off guard, evidenced by the way her body tensed under his gaze. It wasn’t exactly normal for him to ask her for the deeper meaning behind an action. Usually, she would be the one telling him what it meant, in fact. Whether he wanted to hear it or not. 

The fact that he was asking her meant that there was no more room for light-heartedness. Lucy straightened instantly, shifting her tone to match his. 

“I-I don’t know,” she confessed. She was so caught up in her answer that she didn’t notice Tim's shoulders deflate slightly. However, Lucy knew what she said wasn’t the whole truth, so she added: “Well, I know what it meant to me. I don’t know what it means to you.” 

Tim pursed his lips, as if trying to decipher some hidden code in her statement, which felt strangely accusatory. If he spent long enough on it, she reckoned he’d probably figure it out. Instead, he decided to provide an answer to her non-question. 

“It meant something,” he affirmed, avoiding her stare. It was a shame, because if he had looked into her eyes in that moment, he would’ve noticed her brown orbs light up at the admission. Tim then felt it necessary to clarify: “To me, anyway.” 

For a moment, she let herself hope that she wasn’t wrong about her interpretation of his meaning. He'd said so much in not so many words, but oddly enough, they told her mostly everything she needed to know. Besides, the longing look in his eyes maybe even validated it for her. However, before she could even contemplate a logical response, he started again with a harder edge to his words.

“Whatever it means,” Tim continued, “it doesn’t change the fact that you’re still seeing someone. And I don’t want to put you in an uncomfortable position—” 

“Tim, stop.” She interrupted him by holding a hand up, a soft chortle blowing from her lips. “I broke up with Chris this morning before we went on the op. I’m not seeing anyone.” 

He hesitated, mouth open as he processed. “You’re not?” 

“I’m not,” she assured, noticing him stiffen and adjust the strap on his shoulder out of habit. Lucy thought it best to take the opportunity to elaborate, given that his earlier loaded words were still hanging in the air, unresolved. “I-I couldn’t keep seeing him. Not after…last night." 

Her confession lingered between them as the most direct reference to the ambiguous feelings that arose out of their pretend-slash-not-pretend kiss back in the apartment. Truth be told, even before their earth-shattering undercover makeout session, she'd spent so much time over-analyzing the practice kiss that she'd quickly worked herself into a downward spiral. So much so that she knew Chris would figure out her own feelings if she didn't break up with him immediately, regardless of whether the thought of Tim kissing her back was completely made up in her head or not. The fear of Chris discovering that she hadn't been entirely honest with him would eat away at her, she knew, and it left her with no choice.

Their second kiss was confirmation for Lucy that it was not all in her head. Which was why she was relieved that she'd had the good sense to end it with Chris before it got too complicated.

The tension shifted between them; previously, it had been one of awkwardness and reserve as they tiptoed around their true feelings in favor of the other leading first. Now, they'd both admitted things that provided indication as to their inner thoughts on the situation. To most people, it wouldn't be enough. To them, it was plenty. 

"Oh."

"Yeah." 

"So...what does this mean?" He asked the question again (arguably less loaded this time), slipping a hand into his pocket comfortably as he did. He noticed that his palms were slick with a bit of moisture, a reaction to the anticipation he felt building inside of him. 

Lucy took a beat to think before she shrugged. "I'm not sure, exactly. But...I think we should talk some more about it?" 

Under normal circumstances, Tim might've groaned at the idea. However, something in the way she said this suggestion made him hopeful that it wasn't just talking that she wanted to do. He briefly caught her eyes as they flickered to his lips and he couldn't help but copy the act. The memory of her taste suddenly hit him like a freight train and he couldn't help but crave more.

The overwhelming urge to kiss her again nearly took hold of him, not only because it was something he just wanted to do but he knew that it was a surefire way to see whether or not she returned his feelings. But then he remembered where they were standing—in full view of the glass doors of the station where any one of their colleagues could come out at any moment and see them in a compromising position. The lack of privacy was a real obstacle to the purpose of this conversation.

Latching onto that detail, Tim made a unilateral decision on the recourse. 

“We both have tomorrow off. You could...come over to my place for dinner? So we can talk,” he suggested. When he saw a flash of recognition in her eyes, he wondered whether he’d said the wrong thing. Whether he’d pushed them into an uncertain territory that she wasn’t exactly comfortable with. 

He began to think about all the ways he could backtrack that statement when Lucy suddenly nodded in the way she did when she was trying to hide her excitement about something.

“I would…really like that,” Lucy answered quickly. She flashed a bright smile that was so contagious, he felt his mouth twitch up in the same movement involuntarily.

“Good,” he breathed, relieved. 

“Good,” she repeated. “Okay, then.” 

“Okay.” 

“Goodnight.” 

“Goodnight.” 

With another nervous laugh—this time at the ridiculousness of their unconscious mimicking of each other—Tim and Lucy hesitantly split apart. They went their separate ways out of the empty parking space, eyes meeting once over their shoulders as they climbed into their respective vehicles.

And if the last twelve hours they spent apart were any indication, the next twenty-four hours would be hell for them both. Alleviated only by the promise of what’s to come. 

Tim really tried to spend his day off doing normal things. 

He woke up a little later than usual, recognizing that he needed more sleep due to the long day before. He took Kojo for their morning run, culminating at the good dog park before they finally headed back. He made breakfast for himself and then salmon and eggs for Kojo. It wasn’t in Kojo’s food schedule to have salmon and eggs today, but Tim was in a good mood and was willing to let it slide. The dog certainly didn’t complain. 

Normal things. Things that didn’t involve obsessing about what would happen with Lucy later that evening. 

Naturally, though, those thoughts would break through at some point. He’d think about what he would say to her. How he would put his thoughts into words so she could comprehend what he was feeling. He wondered what it would be like to kiss her again—if that's what she wanted, of course. He attempted to repress all fantasies about what might happen after they kissed, not wanting to let himself get too carried away. Of course, a few scenarios might have somehow weaseled their way through the filter he set up for himself. 

But mostly, he contemplated the consequences. How they would work out the obstacles that were inherent to any sort of relationship they pursued. 

Whenever this particular examination crossed his mind, it made him feel increasingly apprehensive about Lucy coming over. A familiar anxiety crept up on him throughout the day despite his several attempts to flush it out. 

When Lucy finally texted him around 3pm, it immediately pulled him out of his spiral.

We’re still on for tonight, right? 

The way she’d phrased it told him everything he needed to know. It wasn’t a question prompting tentative discussion. Rather, it was one of hope and eagerness. One that begged certain disappointment would follow if it weren't affirmed. 

With a ghost of a smile on his lips, Tim felt his nerves subside as he texted back.

7:30? Sushi? 

No sooner did he send the message than the phone dinged with her reply. 

7:30’s good. Yes!!!

The additional exclamation marks had him confident he’d chosen the right cuisine. He set his phone down, satisfied enough with the exchange that he refused to let his fear take control anymore. Consequences be damned; they would figure it out together.

The four hours between their text messages and the time that they agreed she’d arrive for dinner felt like a lifetime to Tim. He’d tried to concentrate on a re-run of Dr Who in the meantime, but he kept having to restart the episode when he realized he’d been paying zero attention and instead had let his mind wander to all the possibilities that the night could bring—completely unfiltered this time. 

Eventually, he switched off the television when he accepted his lack of focus. Instead, he began alternating between rummaging through his clothes in an attempt to decide what to wear and reminding himself that he was a man and he didn’t need to obsess over his clothing choices.

That wasted a total of 15 minutes before he frustratedly decided to take Kojo for a walk, needing a breath of fresh air to calm his headspace. 

He returned around 5:45 p.m., just under two hours before Lucy was meant to arrive. Tim refilled Kojo’s water bowl upon his return and then grabbed his phone to pre-order the food for delivery. He chose options that he knew Lucy would like, all while the canine lapped the entire bowl of cool refreshment up.

“Someone’s thirsty,” Tim accused the drooling dog standing beneath him. Kojo whined a little in agreement. It earned a hearty laugh from his owner. 

With the food pre-ordered for a 7:45 p.m. arrival, Tim decided that a second shower for the day was necessary to waste some more time. He rinsed the sticky LA air off him quickly, then changed into a light-colored Henley and a pair of jeans. 

His heart quickened when he saw the clock on his nightstand read 6:30 p.m. One more hour. His palms began to sweat in anticipation, even though the time was nowhere close to where he wanted it to be.

All the possibilities in the world didn’t measure up to what could actually happen.

A knock on the door brought him out of the panicked flutter he felt in his chest remembering that Lucy would be in his house in just under an hour (since it was 6:31 p.m. now). His face fell, confused, and he wondered if he’d placed the sushi order wrong. Tim pulled out his phone to check, but it clearly noted the delivery window for 7:45 p.m. like he intended. 

His heart raced again when he had a different thought. Maybe Lucy was just as anxious to see him as he was to see her. Maybe she decided to come over early and end his tortuous agony. 

The mere possibility of that thought being true had him practically sprinting over to the door. In all his haste, he turned the knob without even peering through the viewport to screen the visitor on his porch. 

He would regret that decision later.

Tim swung the door open with a nervous smile, only for it to drop instantly when he recognized the woman who stood before him. 

“Isabel?”  

Chapter Text

It was around 5:15 p.m. when Lucy made the executive decision to take a tequila shot. 

She’d pushed it off as long as she could, but honestly, the nerves had been consuming her all day and she needed to take the edge off. She spent the morning drafting multiple versions of texts to Tim. They ranged from a simple “Hi!” to the more extreme, “I can’t wait to see you tonight” with other versions somewhere in the middle. Around 3pm, she finally forced herself to send a carefully worded reminder text about dinner to check and make sure he hadn’t gotten cold feet. 

When he texted back with a time and question about what type of dinner she wanted, she felt her heart soar. It wasn’t much, but it meant everything to her that he wasn’t backing out like she would’ve expected. 

The second she responded, she set her phone down on the counter away from her and went to get ready. She took a long hot shower that she was sure Tamara would yell at her for later, but she needed the extra time to shave practically every inch of her body (you know…just in case).

Simply the mere thought that the night might take that exciting turn made Lucy’s entire body tremble with anticipation; so much so that she could barely dry her hair without having to take multiple breaks and remind herself to breathe. 

When that pattern continued all the way up until when she was putting on her eyeliner—a futile attempt since her hands were annoyingly unsteady—she finally decided it was time to break out the alcohol. A quick look at the clock told her that it past 5 p.m. and socially acceptable to do so. Not that it really would have mattered, anyway. 

Lucy contemplated pouring her liquid courage into a shot glass like a normal person, but that would waste too much time. She tipped her head back and gulped down as large of a shot she could manage straight from the bottle’s opening. It burned all the way down her throat until it settled in a calm heat at the base of her stomach. 

The supplement soothed her enough that she was able to return to the bathroom and finish putting on her makeup before she went to pick out her clothes. The entire ordeal took an entire hour alone, but she had to admit that she was grateful for the wasted time. She’d looked at the clock so much during the day that she was practically starting to see its silhouette behind her eyelids whenever she blinked. 

Lucy settled on a long floral skirt and red top, ultimately deciding that although she wanted to look hot because everything inside of her was screaming (screaming!) that this was a date, there was another part of her that remembered this was not just some random guy who’d asked her to come over to his house for dinner. 

This was Tim. Her T.O.—her boss, technically. The person that she’d spent every day riding beside for over a year.

More than that, he was her friend. They knew things about each other that no one else did. They’d been through things together that no one else had. He understood her in a way that she was pretty sure no one else ever would; and she had a good feeling that the same was true for him. 

So the prospect of moving all of that into romantic territory made this dinner much, much more than just a fun, care-free first date. She had to remember that anything they decided had consequences for them professionally and personally. Calling it a 'date' would be over-simplifying the situation.

Therefore, she decided against the skin-tight blue dress that she kept in the back of her closet for special occasions, no matter how much she wanted to break it out. However, she did allow herself the courtesy of ignoring those earlier concerns long enough to choose a pair of objectively sexy underwear. Better to be prepared than not. 

“Lucy!” Tamara yelled from across the living room, unintentionally causing Lucy to jolt and drop the black, lacy undergarments from her hands and shut the top drawer of the dresser so fast, she nearly slammed her fingers inside. Lucy whipped around to see the young adult push open her door hesitantly, content to step inside when she saw Lucy was decent. 

Tamara crossed her arms over her chest, positioning a scowl on her face. “Any particular reason why the shower’s running cold?”

Lucy shrugged, feigning confusion. “No idea.”

“Uh huh.” 

“But…uh, you’ll probably want to wait an hour or so.”

Tamara rolled her eyes before sweeping them across the room, noticing how Lucy’s clothes were all strung out across the floor from her earlier closet purge to find an outfit. “Well, you must have some interesting plans with Chris tonight if you’re putting this much effort into your date.” 

“Actually…” Lucy trailed off as she moved out from the dresser and began to pick up her clothes from the floor hurriedly, “...I broke up with Chris today.” 

“You did?” The surprise in Tamara’s voice made the question come out high-pitched. “Why?” 

She shrugged. “It’s…not important.” 

“Yeah, right!” The young woman gasped suddenly and rushed forward to sling herself on the foot of Lucy’s bed, all while Lucy continued to preoccupy herself with cleaning up her room. “This has something to do with what I walked in on the other night, doesn’t it?” 

“I-I have no idea what you’re talking about.” 

“Oh, really? You don’t remember the ‘work’ you and Tim were doing? You know, the police work that involved making out?” 

Lucy stopped on the other side of her bed, spinning around with a scoff. “We were not making out!” Tamara returned a pointed look, causing Lucy to shrink into her lie. “Okay, fine, maybe we were making out a little. But it was for work.” 

And that was true. It started out to be, anyway. 

“Sure,” Tamara conceded, shrugging. “So...where do I sign up for the police academy, then? After all, if your 'work' involves locking lips with someone as hot as Officer Zaddy, I think I could really enjoy it.”

“Ha-ha,” Lucy deadpanned as she narrowed her eyes at the girl. But Tamara wasn’t exactly wrong. Lucy was starting to let herself wish that Dim and Juicy would have another drug boss they were indebted to just to give her an excuse to pretend with Tim again.

However, she hoped that if tonight worked out the way she planned it, she wouldn’t need to rely on that to get what she wanted. 

“Seriously, though. If you’re not going on a date with Chris, why does your room look like a tornado hit?” Tamara turned her head back to the dresser and nodded at it. “And why were you looking through your good underwear drawer?”

Lucy chucked the clothes she’d gathered in her arms into the closet, frowning when she spun around and discovered that, in all her haste to slam the dresser drawer, it actually bounced back and was left cracked open. 

“I…uh…” She contemplated about a dozen lies as her voice drifted away, but one look back at Tamara told Lucy that she was caught no matter what. So, she sighed heavily and confessed. “Alright, fine. I’m going over to Tim’s for dinner tonight.” 

Tamara’s eyes widened and she jumped off the bench at the end of the bed. “You’re what?” 

“There's no need to make a big deal out of it.” 

“But it is a big deal!” 

“No, it’s not,” Lucy asserted, trying desperately to reign in not only Tamara’s hopes but her own. It was a real possibility that their discussion tonight would end with Tim suggesting they not complicate things with a non-professional entanglement. The heartbreak would be enough for her without having to deal with Tamara’s conflicted emotions, too. “It’s just dinner. We’ve had dinner together before."

“Yeah...but have you ever had dinner together after you’ve both stuck your tongues down each other's throats?" 

“Tamara.”

“Lucy.” The stern parent-adjacent look that Lucy gave Tamara after her suggestive retort made the young girl sigh in defeat before continuing, “Fine, whatever. What time are you supposed to be there?” 

“Seven-thirty,” she answered, eyes involuntarily drifting over to the clock. It was 6:45 p.m. now, and Tim’s place was about a fifteen minute drive. That left her with thirty minutes to spare; though it felt more like a lifetime. She’d be dressed in a few minutes once Tamara left the room and would be forced to sit and wait.

Tamara hummed under her breath in response, clearly desperate to say more about the situation but avoiding it out of respect. Lucy took the silence as an opportunity to head over to her phone and check for any notifications. To her delight, there was a text from Tim. Her lips twitched up into a smile at seeing his name on her phone screen, anticipation building at the thought of the message's content.

Maybe he was just as excited to see her as she was to see him, and he was texting to ask her to come over early like she so desperately wanted to. She would surely run out of this apartment in the pair of hole-riddled leggings and LAPD shirt she was currently in if it meant she could see him a second sooner. 

Heart pounding, she tapped the screen to open the message.

Something came up. Can we raincheck? 

Lucy’s smile instantly dropped at the words she read on her screen. Observing her reaction, Tamara wondered aloud, “Is everything okay?” 

She stared down at the phone and the words on it, trying desperately to maintain her composure. It was hard to do so, considering Lucy felt as if she’d been shot right in the dead center of her chest. Her pounding heart proceeded, but this time with an ache that she didn’t particularly enjoy. 

“Lucy?” 

Her eyes flit up at the call of her name, remembering that she neglected to answer Tamara's concern. Lucy knew that there was a brief flash of disappointment on her face that she hoped Tamara didn't see before she pulled herself together and hid it. 

“Y-Yeah! I’m fine.” Lucy returned to her phone and typed back a reply with shaking hands. 

Of course. Everything OK? 

She watched as bubbles appeared at the bottom of the screen, alerting her to his attempt at a response. However, in a fleeting moment, the bubbles disappeared and nothing remained. No text came through as the seconds ticked on. She took it as a sign that it wouldn’t any time soon. 

Lucy carefully set her phone down on her nightstand and looked back up at Tamara, shrugging. She calibrated her tone carefully before speaking. 

“Uh, change of plans. Let’s order pizza.”

“Aren't you going to Tim’s?” 

“Not anymore.” 

“Is he coming here?”

“Nope.” 

“But—” 

Lucy ignored her, making her way out of her bedroom so that Tamara would be forced to follow. “Veggie for me and Hawaiian for you? I think I’ll order some breadsticks.” 

Tamara wanted to push further and help Lucy through her obvious disappointment, but she knew the moment that Lucy started rattling on about which pizza place was the best around them that it was a lost cause. 

"Hi, Tim." 

Isabel gave him a warm smile, one that felt simultaneously familiar and strange to him. He was convinced for a split moment that he was looking at ghost, mesmerized by the way her blonde hair and smooth skin glistened in the moonlight that peaked out above his porch. She waited patiently for him to come to grips with her presence, knowing that it was odd for her to be there. After all, it'd been nearly two years since the last time they saw each other at the rehab center. 

He tried desperately to form words to respond with, but was at an utter loss.

She looked the same, Tim thought. Which was good, because that meant that she was likely still clean. It shouldn't surprise him to know that was the first thought that came to mind after everything they'd been through. 

Eventually, he observed the prolonged silence from him and stuttered out, "H-Hi." 

"Hi," she replied sheepishly, acknowledging the confused look in his eye.

"What are you doing here?"

Isabel huffed a breath and gestured behind him cautiously. "Can I...come in?" 

He turned his head to follow her motion, looking back into his empty house. Though his head was cloudy from the sight of his ex-wife at his door, he vaguely remembered that he had plans tonight. Plans that definitely did not involve his ex-wife standing in the middle of his living room when his guest finally arrived.

But what was he going to do, say no? She'd obviously come with an intention. He could only hope that it wouldn't take too long. 

"Sure," Tim finally agreed, stepping aside from the door so that she could move inside. Isabel stepped over the threshold, taking a second to look around as she made her way past the foyer and into his living room, absorbing the new space he was living in. 

"I like the place," Isabel commented, her head on a swivel when he shut the door and came around her to stand by Kojo's food bowl. Speaking of, Isabel noticed the canine as he came up to Tim's leg curiously, eyeing the stranger that stepped into their home with a low growl. "And you got a dog? Aw, he's so cute!"

He noticed Kojo relax the minute he heard Isabel's high-pitched praise and she lowered to pet him. Kojo reluctantly stepped forward, then began to wag his tail when Isabel reached out to scratch his ears. Tim couldn't help but smile at the sight of his dog enjoying the attention. 

Isabel looked up at him skeptically. Perhaps there was a bit of annoyance behind her eyes. "You know, I begged you every day for a whole year to let us get a dog. You always said it would be too much responsibility."

"Yeah, well. He was L—a friend's. She couldn't keep him and didn't want him back at the shelter, so I said I'd take him in." For some reason, saying Lucy's name felt wrong in this context. He almost instantly regretted omitting it, but ultimately decided that it wasn't the most pressing matter. When Isabel stood to face him again, he crossed his arms over his chest and cleared his throat. "Um, so...you look good." 

"Thanks." Isabel grinned at the compliment, then nodded at him. "So do you. I like the haircut." 

He hummed in a gratuitous response, but didn't say anything. Tim wasn't sure how to ask her what she was doing at his house without it coming out rude, because he'd already asked her once. But she seemed to still have the ability to read his mind, because she started again and took that responsibility from him.

"I know it's weird that I showed up here out of the blue," she admitted. "I hope you don't mind. It's just...I tried to call you, but you didn't answer."

"I didn't get any missed calls from you."

"I got a new number when I moved. It would've been an Arizona area code," Isabel clarified. 

Tim frowned when he remembered that he'd avoided several calls from an out-of-state number, thinking it was spammers. He'd blocked the caller after two missed attempts to reach him. And he'd never bothered to listen to the voicemails, either. 

"Oh. Sorry," he replied quickly after he pieced together what had happened. Then, Tim looked up at her with renewed concern. "Is something wrong?" 

"Kind of," Isabel agreed as she fidgeted in her spot, gripping the hems of her sweater sleeves that she stretched all the way down to clench in her hands. She looked around his house uncomfortably before releasing a frustrated breath. "Can we sit and talk? There's...a lot we need to discuss." 

"Did you relapse?"

"What? No!" He'd known the answer before she said it, but had to check regardless. She shook her head and dipped it down to hide her shame. "I've been sober since I left rehab. Got my 18 month chip a little while back." 

"That's...good," Tim forced out, though he wasn't sure why he needed to know that. It wasn't like he wasn't proud of her for that achievement, but his lack of regular presence in her life made the information seem futile. It really wasn't his business whether she was clean or not, no matter how much he did care about that fact in the end. It was her life, not his. She wasn't his responsibility anymore.

He shook his head free of the thought and continued, attempting to guess what exactly it was they needed to discuss so he wasn't on edge. "So what do we need to talk about? Is it about the divorce settlement? I know you agreed to no alimony, and I meant it when I said I'd help if you needed it, so..." 

"Tim." He stopped upon hearing his name, spoken sternly out of her usually tentative mouth. Their eyes met and he could see the seriousness in her expression. His entire body stiffened in anxious anticipation at whatever it was she needed to share with him. With Tim's focus re-centered, Isabel finished, "I-I don't know how to say this, so I guess I'll just come right out and do it. We're...still married." 

At first, his brows furrowed in an attempt to pick apart the statement, sure that he'd heard it wrong. "Still...married?"

"Legally, yes."

The more the silence grew, the more he could hear the echo of the sentence in his head. Tim's mouth dropped open in response to that quietly spoken news, the little rainbow wheel spinning in his head to process.

He wished he'd listened to Isabel earlier about sitting down. His legs suddenly felt weak when the realization sunk in.

"But the papers were all signed," Tim argued defiantly, adding, "I checked. Twice!" Actually, he'd checked a third time before he sent it off to his lawyer, but he didn't need inevitable teasing that would come about with that piece of useless information. Isabel scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Yeah, I know. That wasn't the issue. Let's sit, Tim. Please? It's a long and kind of crazy story. I wish I'd been sitting down when I heard it," she grumbled, some residual anger from whatever she was referring to breaking through the statement. 

After a moment of delay, Tim reluctantly nodded and gestured towards the couch for her to sit. She didn't need to be told twice, walking forward and taking a seat. Kojo trotted around and rubbed himself against her legs, begging for more attention. Isabel obliged the canine as she waited for Tim to join her. 

And though he'd spent the entire day counting down the minutes until Lucy's arrival, he knew suddenly that time was up. He stopped himself from moving to sit down, realizing that he needed to do something. Something that didn't feel right to do in front of the woman he'd spent a decade married to.

So, Tim cleared his throat and spoke, voice breaking. "Do you...do you want a drink?" 

"Sure. Water would be fine, please." She turned back to Kojo and let him lick her face as she scratched the underside of his belly and cooed at how cute he was.

Tim turned on his heel and walked into the kitchen, opening the refrigerator to grab himself a beer. He popped the top off immediately using the bottle opener on the side door and took a long swig as he went over to his cabinet to grab a glass that he could fill it up with water from the tap. The beer was already half finished by the time he set the glass of tap water on the counter and lowered his bottle beside it, inhaling sharply before he took out his phone from his pocket. 

Lucy's text chain was the first thing that popped up on his screen when he navigated to the messages app. Their earlier conversation glared at him. The promise of a date that was now ruined. 

He sighed and typed a quick message. There were no formalities or apologies. Mainly because he could barely pull himself together to actually do this. 

Something came up. Can we raincheck?

He set the phone on the counter with the messages open while he chugged on his beer again. Tim was slightly concerned that, with how fast he was drinking, he would need to grab another one before he went to sit down with Isabel. 

Lucy's text silently arrived on the screen, catching his attention. 

Of course. Everything OK? 

Tim hesitantly gripped the phone back into his hand, fingers hovering over the keyboard to type a response. He typed a Yes before deleting it, deciding he'd better not lie. He was most certainly not okay. Instead, he typed a Not really, but then determined that he wasn't ready to share that information with her just yet. God forbid Lucy showed up at his house worried for him, only to find his ex-wife—correction, current wife—sitting in his living room. 

So, in the end, he clicked the lock button on his phone and shoved the device in his back pocket, attempting with the action to suppress all thoughts of Lucy and their failed date. It killed him to do it, but he had to.

Tim snatched the beer bottle and the glass of tap water from the counter and made his way back to the living room to get the full story. 

He would never admit it, but Isabel was right. It was a wild story.

She’d sent off dozens of applications for new employment when she moved to Arizona, submitting the usual background check paperwork with them. Isabel had a somewhat difficult time finding an employer that would accept the misdemeanor drug possession charge that was on her criminal record; but she couldn’t complain, knowing that it was the best she could’ve gotten for herself and merely a consequence of her near-death experience that led to the arrest of Marcus Vance. 

Sometimes, she would receive copies of the background checks depending on which one company the potential employer contracted with. But one day, she received a copy of the most thorough background check she’d ever seen. It included not only a thorough credit and criminal history, but also included a civil litigation background check. She figured it was standard, considering the company she was applying to join was a high-tech security firm. 

But in the section on civil litigation, she noticed something strange. Or, rather, she noticed the absence of something that was strange. There was no divorce decree listed. Which, ordinarily, wouldn’t be concerning. Except that the civil litigation search brought up things from over a decade ago that she’d completely forgotten about—settlement orders filed with the court, both from her time on the force and once when she’d gotten into a car accident and her insurance had to settle a personal injury claim. It was odd that the decree didn’t show up with that, too. 

Isabel was content to ignore it, but it gnawed away at her for a couple weeks. So, she finally called her lawyer. 

Her lawyer said everything went through, but promised she’d double check, anyway. A few days later, the lawyer requested Isabel make a visit down to LA as soon as possible and alert Tim that he needed to come down to the courthouse with her at a convenient time. When he didn’t answer her calls, Isabel scheduled a time to meet with the lawyer and showed up at the courthouse, anyway, thinking that there was just something wrong with her records.

She was greeted by a sickly thin twenty-three year old boy and Judge Morrison, who she knew of but didn’t know personally. Judge Morrison greeted her kindly with a firm handshake, but his face seemed a little too flush for an old white man. The twenty-three year old had glasses way too big for his frame, yet she could tell that he had some serious dark circles around his eyes and redness that was impossible to miss. 

“Mrs. Bradford,” Judge Morrison had greeted her, voice trembling slightly. “Thank you so much for coming all the way down.” 

“Sure,” she’d replied, though she was a little peeved about the entire affair. 

“Where’s Mr. Bradford?” 

“Err, he didn’t return my calls. After all, he is my ex-husband,” she’d corrected pointedly, laughing loudly in the middle of the small office room they were meeting in. No one else laughed with her, not even her lawyer. Isabel noticed immediately. 

And then they told her. The twenty-three year old law clerk standing next to Judge Morrison apologized profusely, saying that he’d overlooked the Bradford divorce filing and hadn’t actually ever sent the decree to Judge Morrison for signature. As a result, there was no entry of the Bradford divorce in the system. Legally, they were still considered married. 

A damn clerical error. 

She finished the story just as the doorbell rang. Tim nearly had a heart attack thinking that it was Lucy at the door, but a quick look at the clock on his phone told him that it was now 7:45 p.m. and the delivery driver was right on time with the meal he’d planned for him and Lucy. He cursed under his breath and mustered all the strength left in him just to get up and open the door, still mulling over the entire ordeal as he did. He tipped the driver with cash and shut the door, spinning around hesitantly.

“When did you order dinner?” Isabel inquired, cocking an eyebrow at him when he spun around to face her from the foyer. He was still processing, but managed a reply. 

“Uh…before we sat down,” Tim lied smoothly, bringing the food over to the coffee table. He was extremely reluctant to open the brown bag of food, a sinking feeling in his stomach that this was wrong. This meal wasn’t for Isabel. It was for someone else. When he pulled out the contents inside, it was obvious that was the case. The tray of spicy mushroom shiitake rolls practically gave it away. He pursed his lips at the takeout box in a brief moment of contemplation. 

“Sorry, I know you don’t like mushrooms, either. It’s just—” Lucy likes them. “I must’ve forgotten to ask them to take them out.”

Isabel hummed, perhaps forming her own beliefs as to the addition of the odd menu choice. But he couldn’t bring himself to cover with a more believable explanation. She didn’t press on it, thankfully. 

He pulled out some more boxes of a variety of sushi that he would eat, and some that he knew Isabel would enjoy even though he’d meant them for Lucy. There was enough food for a week's leftovers, he realized. Why had he ordered so much? He couldn't have possibly expected him and Lucy to eat the entire meal; in fact, his hope for the night had actually involved him and Lucy not eating dinner in favor of skipping to the good part of the evening.

“You would think with how advanced technology is, we’d have come to a point where idiot law clerks are irrelevant,” Tim grumbled under his breath as Isabel fit a piece of sushi into her mouth, absently petting Kojo with her non-dominant hand. 

“The law clerk was definitely an idiot. But it was a mistake. Could’ve happened to anyone.” 

“Yeah, but now we have to re-do our entire divorce settlement?” That took a lot of energy and effort the first time. He really didn’t want to go through that again. 

Isabel shook her head. “My lawyer said we shouldn’t have to. I don’t know about you, but I don’t have any new assets that would be considered joint property. I know you have this house, but the mortgage is in your name, obviously, and we kept our accounts separate even when we were married. Even if there is anything, it shouldn’t take more than a day to iron out.”

“Okay, fine. I'll call out sick tomorrow. We'll meet with the lawyers in the morning and go down to the courthouse in the afternoon.” 

He shoved a piece of sushi into his mouth as he retroactively evaluated that plan, somewhat satisfied with it. He would have to tell Lucy that he wasn't coming into work, just so she didn't get too worried about him. Though, Tim left out a tiny part of the plan that he relayed to Isabel—they'd meet with the lawyers in the morning, go down to the courthouse in the afternoon, and he'd show up at Lucy's in the evening for the date they were meant to have. 

“Tim.” Isabel suddenly dropped her chopsticks and placed a hand on his forearm softly. It snapped him out of his thoughts as he looked down, surprised to find that she’d scooted closer to him on the couch and was now breathing in his personal space. 

It felt familiar. Different, but familiar, nonetheless. The glow that she had now matched the one that he remembered, back before all the bad things. She looked at him with the same loving look in her eyes that he remembered from their wedding. He let himself get distracted by that thought for only a moment before he remembered that it wasn’t real. The nights he'd spent agonizing over whether she was having sex with some other man, the nights that he'd spent alone thinking that she was dead on the side of the road and he'd get a call from the hospital in the morning. That was real. 

“Do you think…” Isabel trailed off, biting down on her lip as she briefly removed her eyes from him. He waited patiently, brows fraught with confusion. “Do you think that maybe it was a mistake?” 

Tim snorted. “Uh, do I think Judge Morrison made a gigantic mistake hiring a complete moron—?” 

“That’s not what I mean.” 

“Then what do you mean, Isabel?” He was growing slightly frustrated now at her lack of straightforwardness. This was already a difficult situation, and she wasn’t making it any easier with her cryptic attitude. 

“I mean,” she clarified, matching his annoyed tone, “that maybe we made a mistake...getting divorced.” 

Unable to stop himself, his breath hitched at the words. Coherent responses escaped him, only strangled noises coming from his throat in a panic.

“Um…I-I don't...We—” He tried to laugh, entertaining the idea that maybe she was messing with him. In order to convince him of this, he made a pointed effort to ignore the sincerity lacing her stare, despite the fact that it was practically unmistakeable.

“I’m serious, Tim.” She’d read his mind again, clearly. “I think we should give it another shot.” 

And if he hadn’t thought it enough already...fuck, this was really not how he imagined this night was going to go.

Chapter Text

He showed up to work the next day exhausted and caffeine-deprived. 

Exhausted because he was up all night in torment over his conversation with Isabel. When she suggested that they give their marriage another shot, he was completely speechless. 

Where had this come from? When had she changed her mind? And why? 

He was under the impression they'd come to a mutual agreement two years ago at the rehab center that his presence in her life was a reminder of her darkest times, something that neither of them would ever get past. She’d never countered that fact, and he knew Isabel would be the first to say otherwise if she’d really wanted to keep their relationship alive. If he were being honest with himself, had she fought against his wishes back then, he wasn't sure whether he would've gone through with the divorce. It was the fact that she let him go so easily that told him it was the right thing to do.

They didn't get a chance to talk much more after her confession because Kojo started barking uncontrollably at the back door, probably detecting the neighbor’s cat as it ran across Tim’s yard. Tim took the opportunity to excuse himself and let Kojo outside, using the time to collect his thoughts. Isabel was expectant when he returned inside, but he told her that he needed the night to think about what she said. Despite her obvious disappointment, she agreed. 

And then he somehow found himself offering up his guest room for her to stay in once Isabel revealed that she was going to find a hotel downtown for the duration of her visit. She seemed hesitant to accept his offer at first, perhaps reading into the meaning behind it. Never mind the fact that he wasn't exactly sure what it meant.

But, in the end, Isabel was his wife. Not even his ex-wife anymore (not like that really would've made a difference). There was a part of him that would always want to ensure her safety and comfort, no matter the particulars of their relationship now.

So he extended his home to her like the honorable ex-husband—current husband—he was.

Which led to him being caffeine-deprived, because when Tim woke in the morning, he made every attempt to rush out of the house and avoid seeing Isabel. He figured it wouldn’t be hard, knowing that she was one to sleep in. He dressed quickly in his room, then tip-toed around his kitchen as quietly as possible to feed Kojo his breakfast.

It didn’t work. After two years of being apart, it appeared Isabel finally learned the power of an alarm clock. 

They’d greeted each other politely in the kitchen, where she tentatively asked whether he was taking the day off and if he wanted to go to the lawyers. In the end, they both agreed to put it off for at least another day. 

“We need to talk about what I said,” she’d reminded him. 

At that moment, Tim acknowledged that perhaps she misread his intentions when he agreed not to go to the lawyers in the morning. Really, he didn’t mean it as confirmation that he didn’t want to fix the divorce mishap. He just didn’t know what to do. He needed the day at work to get his head on straight. 

“We will,” he’d promised, mostly because he wasn’t sure what else to say.

Then, he fled his home so fast that he forgot to brew himself a cup of coffee. Hence the caffeine withdrawal he was experiencing as he stood in Grey’s office, having just finished an overdue conversation about upcoming shift assignments.

“Everything okay, Bradford?” Sergeant Grey asked just as Tim was about to leave. Tim turned back, raising an eyebrow innocently. 

“Yeah. Why?” 

“No reason.” 

There was a slight hesitation to Grey's dismissal, however. Tim paused, evaluating the Sergeant’s expression for a long moment. When recognition finally hit him, Tim moved to cross his arms over his chest angrily.

“Oh, come on!” He groaned. “You know?”

“Judge Morrison is a friend,” Wade admitted with a sigh. “When he realized you weren’t at the courthouse, he called me to check if you were on leave. Then he told me the whole story.” Tim rocked on his heels awkwardly, biting back a sour comment about how Judge Morrison should really keep himself out of other people’s business, especially considering the circumstances. “Did Isabel tell you?”

“She showed up last night,” Tim replied, nodding. “I…wasn’t expecting it.” 

“I bet. It’s not every day your ex-wife shows up with news that a clerical error means you’re still married.” He glowered as Grey chuckled under his breath, then added, “Well, I’m sure you know already, but you’ve got enough sick time to call out so you can handle it. To be honest, I thought you would’ve taken today off.” 

Tim shrugged, shrinking into himself. “I thought about it, but…” 

Grey caught onto Tim’s reluctance, noticing how the thought trailed off and the officer looked down at the floor in contemplation. But Sergeant Grey had known Tim Bradford for such a long time—too long to let him suffer through whatever he was going through without at least trying to get to the bottom of it. Besides, it wasn’t good to let an officer hit the streets with personal conflict on their mind. 

“But what?” 

“Isabel wants to talk. So...we're gonna do that first, I guess,” he explained. He shifted uncomfortably, returning his hand to his duty belt as his back stiffened. The Watch Commander's eyes widened in surprise and recognition. 

“Talk?” Grey repeated, then guessed, “She wants to get back together?” Tim nodded in confirmation. The senior officer blew out a heavy breath that was mixed with another quiet chuckle. “That’s an…added complication.” 

“I'll say."

“Is that what you want?” 

Tim sighed frustratedly, tightening his grip at his duty belt. “Do we have to talk about this right now? I have a mountain of paperwork, you know.” 

“Which you’re free to go do,” Grey conceded, “but something tells me that you might want to talk this out before you go out on patrol. Specifically before…” 

He trailed off as his eyes flickered behind Tim’s shoulder, observing Officer Chen as she walked into the roll call room with Officers Nolan and Thorsen trailing not far behind. Tim looked in the same direction, but he only caught a glimpse of the back of Lucy’s head as she walked in.

“...roll call,” Wade finished, pursing his lips to fight back any further insinuation that might anger Bradford. But Tim Bradford was not oblivious or stupid. The look on Grey’s face made him well aware of the original end to that sentence. He turned back, a panic settled over him.

“Sir—” 

“Look, you don’t have to have an answer now,” Grey pointed out, “but you might want to start figuring it out before other people start asking the same question.” 

Tim took a beat to think over the words of wisdom. Though Grey likely had one specific person in mind, Tim was aware that Lopez, Harper, Nolan…they would all ask, too, at one point or the other when they found out. While he would try to keep it under wraps as long as he could, word travels fast in their circle. Due to Nolan’s big mouth, no doubt. 

So, with a grateful nod at Wade’s insight to end the conversation, the two Sergeants headed out of the office and over to the roll call room to start the shift. 

That’s when Tim finally saw her. Lucy. 

She was sitting beside Nolan in her usual spot in the third row, her smile so bright it pulled his focus and blinded him as he walked into the room. Perhaps that wasn’t unusual—she was always the first person he noticed when he walked inside every morning, smile or not. He had to admit, though, that he did prefer when there was a smile.

Tim allowed himself a moment to stare in admiration before her head turned, following Grey’s voice as he barked an order for everyone to settle down. He tore his eyes away immediately the second he noticed Lucy’s gaze settled upon him. Tim shuffled around the podium to hide his discomfort. A heat flushed through his body, but he wasn’t sure whether it was from guilt or lust. 

Sergeant Grey went through roll call quickly, making a quip at the end about Nolan studying for his T.O. exam in the afternoon. All the officers made their way out of the glass room, including Grey. Soon, it was just Tim and Lucy in the room, awkwardly hanging back with the knowledge that they hadn’t spoken in person since their half-confessions in the parking lot.

He took a step down from the platform at the front of the roll call room, eyes reluctantly lifting to meet Lucy’s as she met him halfway.

“Hey,” she greeted quietly, words accompanied by a faint smile on her blush-colored lips. Tim felt a similar one twitch at the corners of his own mouth at the sight.

“Hi,” he replied, voice equally as soft. It took all his willpower to force his eyes not to drift down to her mouth, memories of their stolen undercover kisses at the forefront of his mind. 

“How…was your night?”

Lucy asked the question tentatively, and for that, he didn’t blame her. He’d been intentionally cryptic about why he called off their dinner and could only hope that she didn’t hold it against him. The soft gaze in her eyes made him optimistic that she didn’t. Rather, she looked more worried than anything else.

There was a small pout on her lips now, drawing his attention to her mouth. Willpower be damned; in that moment, all he wanted to do was kiss her, just like Dim would kiss Juicy.

Before Tim could reply, he was distracted when Webb re-entered the roll call room, immediately shifting the atmosphere. The interruption snapped Tim back into reality as he forced himself to clear his throat and smile politely. It was a cruel reminder that they were at work, a place where it was wildly inappropriate for him to be thinking such things about his aide, let alone standing in the middle of the station giving her very obvious heart eyes. 

Also—oh, yeah. He was married. 

“Hey, Chen. Sarge. Heard you both pulled off one hell of an undercover op!” Webb praised as he fit himself behind Lucy so he could make his way over to the table he was sitting at earlier. He picked up a cell phone that he appeared to have forgotten behind.

“Uh, yeah. Thanks, Webb,” Lucy piped, shooting him a sweet smile as her eyes followed the officer out. Tim’s gaze, on the other hand, was focused on the floor, where he stood in silence and contemplation as Webb left to meet his partner at the loading area. 

With the interruption gone, Lucy turned back to Tim. The silence grew too long, too eerie for her comfort as she waited for him to say something. 

“Um, should we go?” she prompted. He shook his head. It dawned on him that it wasn't such a good idea for him to go out on patrol with her today. For a number of reasons, but specifically, he was positive that his distracted state would get her (or even him) killed if they ran into any serious trouble.

“No. I, uh, need to catch up on some paperwork, actually, so it’ll be a slow day. You should ride with Nolan,” Tim suggested, avoiding her eyes. As much as it pained him to do it, he had to. Because what he wanted to do, he couldn’t. 

Five seconds in the shop with her and he’d either spill his guts about the entire Isabel thing and hurt Lucy, or he’d demand they turn off their body cameras and get out of the shop so he could tell her everything he’d wanted to for so long. He’d tell her how she made him feel when she kissed him in her living room. Tell her that he didn’t want to stop. That playing pretend while undercover wasn’t pretend for him—or maybe it was, because the operation was always the first priority, but he didn’t want it to be. 

Either option would be a massive problem. 

"Are you sure—?" 

"I'm sure, Chen." 

“O-Oh.” Though he was expecting it, the look of disappointment on her face still hurt him. Twisted his heart in ways he didn’t think possible. She bounced on her heels, bit down on her lip, and then finally choked out, “Okay, then.” 

“Okay,” he agreed, nodding firmly before he forced himself to step to the side and out the door. Tim allowed himself one last look at her over his shoulder, noticing Lucy as she came out of the room and stopped Nolan on his way out with his war bag. They spoke for a brief moment, then she went to the gear counter while Nolan went to the shop loading area. 

He settled down at his desk with a sigh, the stack of paperwork beside him a glaring monstrosity. He hadn’t lied about that. It would be a boring day for him, at least. 

But it would give him time to think. To consider. To find an answer to Grey’s question, even if it took him all day to do it.

In the end, Tim went out on patrol for about an hour towards the end of shift to perform his roving duties, somehow evading any calls for a Sergeant from Nolan and Chen. The paperwork on his desk had dwindled down significantly, much to his satisfaction. 

However, his answer to Grey’s question earlier in the morning had not been as easy of a task to accomplish. 

He’d thought all day about how easy it would be to slip right back into the role of the doting husband. After all, it was something he’d wanted for so long. A partner. A family. Something serious, something lasting. After Isabel, he’d jumped right into it with Rachel—and though that relationship was serious, she was young and ambitious and he knew that her moving to New York would mean the end of their brief affair. Despite his denial, it really killed him to see another relationship on the chopping block, so he’d tried to make it last as long as it could. It didn’t work, to no one’s surprise. 

There were a few failed dates in between. Then, Ashley. She was fun, easy-going, spirited. He probably should’ve known earlier that she wouldn’t be the type to want to get married or have kids, but maybe he just wanted to ignore it for as long as he could in favor of being in a serious relationship again. Yet deep down, he knew it was wrong to keep on that path when it would lead nowhere. For his and for her sake. 

(There was also the added detail that he’d kissed his partner to practice for undercover work, and if not for one wide-eyed, college-aged roommate, he probably wouldn’t have stopped there. That, too.) 

But Ashley and Rachel were no Isabel. Isabel, the woman he’d trained with and fell in love with so quickly. He remembered the first day they spent together at the Academy; the instant, undeniable attraction he’d felt towards her. She was the first thing after he left the military that he’d been excited about. She brought a new light into his life in a way that other women hadn’t. 

He fell in love with Isabel almost immediately. It took her a while to get on the same page, but when she did, he remembered his entire world being turned upside down.

Tim loved her once, so much that it was hard to breathe. That’s why it hurt so badly when she left him. 

And it had hurt so badly. At first, he spent his nights at bars, drinking his sorrows away. Contemplated quitting the LAPD so he could dedicate all his time to finding her. Hurled breakables (picture frames, dishes, etc.) at the wall each evening when she didn’t come home. Paid too many investigators to find out what she was doing, with whom, and where. Cried himself to sleep every night, wishing more than anything that his love would be enough for her that she would want to come home. 

All that had festered over the length of an entire year until he just became so numb, he couldn’t do anything else than put everything he had into the job. 

Then, one day, he got assigned a hotshot, sunshine-filled rookie who needed to understand how frightening the world could be. So his second day out on patrol with her, he brought her to sketchy liquor store to find trouble. And, miraculously, his addict wife is there. Suddenly, all the pain, the anger...it all disappeared in that moment; all he wanted was to take his wife home. Instead, she stole his money and took off in the other direction. Didn't even glance back to survey his heartbreak.

And his boot didn’t report him. Didn’t even call him out on his less-than-ethical behavior (not at first, anyway). She sat there, quietly, and listened. And the next time he was forced with the prospect of seeing his junkie wife, she took that burden from him unsolicited, demanding that he entrust her instead of putting her at risk. Yet she showed him undeserved kindness after—kindness he didn’t know still existed in the world. She saved him from making mistakes, protected him, and stuck by his side the entire time he healed.

Slowly but surely, his boot brought the light back into his world when there was nothing but darkness. As much as he taught her that the world wasn't always warm and welcoming, she showed him that it was, sometimes. She became the person he went to when he didn’t even know he needed someone, and she was there every time without fail. And he’d do the same for her in a heartbeat. 

All that led to one very simple conclusion: Tim had no fucking clue what to do.

Back at the station from his brief stint on the streets, Tim was returning his gear to the kit room when he heard a rush of officers come in from the street. He usually wouldn’t look up, but there was a familiar laugh that caught his attention. Sure enough, Nolan and Chen walked through the doors from the loading area. Nolan hurriedly passed Chen his war bag as he scurried off to go take the T.O. exam he’d been waiting to sit all day. 

She caught him staring for only a brief moment before he turned hurriedly to finish signing his name on the sheet in front of him. Lucy cleared her throat as she walked over to the kit room.

“Sarge,” said Lucy, a slight edge to her tone. He tried not to let the sudden formality sway his demeanor. 

“Chen,” he replied. “Good shift?” 

“Dare I say the ‘Q’ word.” Tim rolled his eyes. Harper’s superstition, of course. A bunch of nonsense. She chuckled at his reaction as she signed her name on the sheet, and he waited patiently. “How was the paperwork?” 

“Almost finished. That’s the last time I’ll be going undercover without asking another Sergeant to help out while I’m gone,” he grumbled as she dropped the pen, thanked the kit room attendant, and they made a move to get out from the gear station so other officers could return their kits. 

Lucy looked up at him with a frown. “That would be why you have a Sergeant’s aide, remember?” 

“You went undercover with me, remember?” Tim reminded, his tone pointed. Her quiet huff was an acknowledgement that she definitely remembered.

“I meant that I could’ve stayed behind to help you today. I didn’t mind,” she muttered under her breath as they slowed to a stop in front of his desk. Tim sighed, glancing around the station. His heart ached in his chest at her defeated tone. 

“I know,” he whispered. “It’s just…” 

Tim trailed off, at a loss for what to say. There wasn’t really much he could say now, given their lack of privacy and location. Which was the exact reason he offered for them to have dinner the other night. A wasted opportunity to clear the air between them. Little did she know that it was even more complicated now.

Lucy finally peered up at him when she realized he wasn’t going to complete the thought. Instead, she asked the question she hadn’t received an answer to yet. 

“Are you okay, Tim?” 

His gaze fell upon hers as he nodded, attempting his best to maintain his composure. “Uh huh.” 

“Really?” she questioned, disbelieving. In a typical flustered fashion, she added, “Because…you don’t seem okay.”

“Why would you say that?” 

“Because you—” Their eyes connected briefly. Lucy considered bringing up the cancellation text, but ultimately breathed out instead, “—just…don't.”

“I’m fine,” he asserted. A little white lie. Tim brushed her shoulder as he came around to sit back down at his desk, sliding a paper file out from under the pile on his right. It’s what was left from the stack this morning. 

He should’ve known better than to think she’d give up so easily.

“Is it Genny?” Lucy pressed, leaning her hand against his desk. He blew a frustrated sigh from his lips at her speculation. His body twisted uncomfortably in his seat. “Is it your dad? Is it…is it Ashley—?” 

“What?” he repeated, surprised at her guesses. Particularly, he made every effort not to laugh when she brought Ashley up. Because that was the least of her worries, if anything. “No! No, it’s not…any of that—” 

“Bradford!”

Tim’s head swiveled to see Grey beckoning him into the glass office, and he noticed immediately that there were three other Sergeants inside, too. Must be a de-briefing for the evening shift change. He frowned and lifted himself from the desk, throwing a cautious look at Lucy. She only pursed her lips in thought and held his gaze for a few moments longer as he silently reluctantly made his way over to Grey’s office.

The conversation was over, at least for now.

The moment the Watch Commander’s door was shut, Lucy exhaled a long breath she felt like she’d been holding in her chest ever since she returned to the station. Her stomach continued to churn as it did all day, restlessly uneasy about whatever was going on between her and Tim.

The more she spoke with him, the more she felt certain he was having second thoughts about their conversation in the parking lot. Which was really—really, really—disappointing to her. 

“Aw, damn!” Lucy heard from behind her suddenly. She looked over her shoulder to see Webb clenching his fist at his side as he looked in the direction of where Tim had left. “I thought I’d catch Sarge…” 

Lucy turned her whole body to face him. “Is something wrong, Webb?” 

“Someone’s here to see Bradford,” he explained, gesturing out of the bullpen towards the corridor that led to the front desk.

“A civilian?” she questioned. Webb nodded. 

“Yeah, some lady. Blonde hair, blue eyes. I don’t know…” 

When he trailed off, Lucy put the pieces together. Ashley. It shouldn’t have made her heart sink in the way that it did, but she just couldn’t control the feeling of jealousy that plagued her insides at the thought.

Webb continued, snapping her back into reality. “Hey, will you tell him when he comes out? I’ve got to get home to the wife and kids. Big dinner planned.”

The smile on Webb’s face made Lucy break out one of her own. 

“Yeah, sure, of course,” said Lucy. He thanked her quickly and threw out a goodnight before heading off in the other direction, rushing to the locker rooms. The smile stayed on Lucy’s face for a moment longer before her eyes caught the sight of Tim moving in the glass office a few yards away. He stood with his arms crossed, listening to Grey intently. 

The scary thought crossed her mind that he was lying to her. That he’d gotten back together with Ashley overnight after realizing what a mistake he made; and what if that was why he was being so weird about everything?

With a sigh, Lucy fought with herself for a moment before she decided that she had to be the bigger person and face Ashley for at least two minutes to tell her that Tim would be out as soon as his meeting was done. She could handle it, surely. It's not like she hadn't been forced to deal with Ashley before; the call about Kojo, the double date. It was nothing new to her.

So, she walked determinedly to the front desk, practicing her greeting the entire way in her head. Different tones and pitches of the way she could say Hey, Ashley! without it coming out as if she wasn’t completely in love with the woman’s boyfriend. 

But when she went into the lobby and looked around for Ashley, Lucy didn’t see her. The young officer's eyebrows furrowed together as she glanced around the waiting area for the familiar face, wondering for a brief moment whether Ashley left. Or, maybe, Webb was mistaken. 

Then, Lucy saw her. A woman with blonde hair and blue eyes. But it was not Ashley. 

“Isabel,” she breathed, her feet on autopilot as she walked a few feet over to Isabel, who was waiting patiently in a seat near the "authorized-only" door that Lucy had just stepped out of. Isabel looked up at the call of her name, a brief moment passing before the recognition finally hit her. 

“Lucy, right?” Isabel stood, flashing a smile. Lucy was almost too shocked to smile back; but she did, though, because she was Lucy after all. “Tim’s rookie?”

She bit back the urge to correct the visitor. “Uh…yeah.” 

“Wait, it’s been over a year, hasn't it? You’d be a P2 now,” Isabel corrected herself, thinking over the timeline again. Lucy only nodded in response. “Congratulations!” 

“T-Thanks,” she stammered. “How…um, how are you?” 

“I’m...good, thanks.” Isabel replied reluctantly, remembering the last time she saw the other woman was when she had been in a decidedly not okay state. She’d spoken to Lucy once on the phone after that when she asked about Tim’s studying habits, but she was still in rehab when that happened. And the cravings had been exceptionally strong, she remembered.

An awkward silence passed between them before Isabel continued innocently, “Where’s Tim?” 

“Oh, right. He’ll be out in a minute,” Lucy answered, waving her hand at her side. She rested it on her uniform belt as she asked another question. “So…what are you doing back in town?” 

It’s not like Lucy kept tabs on Isabel or anything, but a few social media posts she discovered one night indicated that Isabel moved to Arizona for a new job a few months back. Perhaps it wasn't strange for her to be back in LA, but it was strange for her to be visiting Tim at the police station. Or visiting at all, really. Tim didn't talk about it much, but Lucy'd asked once whether he ever heard or saw Isabel after the divorce. He said he hadn't and left it at that.

Which is what made this situation so strange. Strange enough that Lucy was certain that this was the thing that Tim was worried about. There was something going on with Isabel. 

It could be anything, she thought. Though, she ruled out the prospect of Isabel being on drugs again. It appeared that the woman was clean, at least from what Lucy could tell. She didn’t have that ring of red around her eyes or sickly thin frame like she did in the apartment building when they’d last spoken face-to-face. Rather, she looked like new life had been breathed into her. There was a touch of makeup, sure, but her skin had a natural, healthy glow.

“It’s…complicated,” Isabel said reluctantly. Lucy’s eyebrow raised, silently prompting her to continue. The blonde-haired woman shifted in her spot, readjusting the strap on her shoulder with a shrug. “There were some clerical issues with our divorce that we need to clear up.” 

“Clerical issues?” 

“Yeah. You should really talk to Tim about it,” she pressed, her voice now at an uncomfortably high pitch. “You know how he gets about his personal business being disclosed.”

“Right.” Lucy breathed a half-laugh at the thought, trying to keep her conversation nonchalant. Inside, she was screaming, though. What the hell did a clerical error mean? Her mind instantly went to the worst-case scenario, but she asked another open-ended question to try and get all the details before she spiraled too far beyond control. “How long are you back for?” 

“I’m not sure yet. A couple days, or longer. Maybe indefinitely, depending on what Tim and I decide,” she replied. 

"Decide? Decide what?" 

"Decide whether I should...stay, or not."

And this was the sentence that made everything click into place in Lucy's head. Not just the words, but Isabel’s reaction. The slight blush that crept on her face. The nervousness in her hands. The look in her eye—it was the look of a woman hopeful to start something (or, in her case, rekindle something) with Tim Bradford.

Lucy knew that look well. 

And from that conclusion, it wasn’t hard to deduce what a clerical error with their divorce meant. It meant something went wrong—she wasn’t sure what—but it was big enough to make Tim distraught. Distraught enough to cancel their plans. Distraught enough to have her ride with Nolan the entire day. 

At that moment, Lucy heard the buzzing sound of the "authorized-only" door behind her. Isabel’s eyes flickered up to see the person who stepped out of it, and Lucy noticed instantly that the blue eyes in front of her lit up like a Christmas tree. Which could only mean one thing. 

Tim froze in his tracks when he saw the sight before him: Lucy Chen, Isabel Bradford. In the same space. Facing each other, mid-conversation.

He knew the instant he looked into Lucy’s eyes as she turned that she knew everything. 

Chapter Text

Lucy, answer your phone. 

Lucy paused, mid-stir, to glance down when the text message popped up on her phone screen. The notification sat just above another one: a missed call from Bradford.

She ignored both alerts, opting instead to return to the lotus root soup she was currently attending to in the pot on the stove. A few seconds passed before her phone chimed again with another text message. 

Please. 

Lucy sighed, wiped her hand on a kitchen towel next to her, and grabbed her device. Instead of bringing towards her with intent to respond, however, her nimble fingers maneuvered the phone to flip it over so she couldn’t see any more notifications. Shortly after, the device vibrated on the counter again a few more times, indicating he was calling again, but she did not deign to answer it.

The look of shock and horror on Tim's face when he saw her talking to Isabel at the station was forever ingrained in her memory. There was no doubt in her mind that he knew she'd figured out what was wrong, despite his every attempt to seemingly keep it from her.

And yet, there was no apology. No words of any consequence, even. Just a soft-spoken "Chen..." as she muttered a quick goodbye to Isabel and brushed past Tim's shoulder. He didn't even come after her or caught up to her once she changed into plain clothes to explain the situation in his own words. 

Not that she needed him to. A clerical error likely meant that there was an issue with their divorce paperwork, which was what brought Isabel back to LA. Lucy wouldn’t be surprised to find out that they were still married due to it, though that thought stung more than she expected it would. And Isabel's indecision on whether she would be staying or leaving meant that things were far more complicated than just sorting out some old paperwork.

Isabel had said "Tim and I" would make the decision on whether or not she stayed. Implying they were a pair again—or, at the very least, that they would be at some point.

That's not even what bothered her, though. What bothered her was that Tim didn't even have the decency to talk to her about it. If Isabel really was what made him cancel their dinner the other night, why hadn't he just explained that? Instead, he let an entire day go by where he'd been nothing but cold, uncomfortable, and avoidant. And though it probably wasn’t his intention, it made Lucy think there was something she did to warrant that behavior, even though that couldn't be further from the truth.

Hadn't she earned his trust enough—as a friend—to expect that he would confide in her? About this situation especially, knowing the secrets they kept between them about that stage in his life. 

"Uh oh…” Lucy turned her head to see Tamara open her bedroom door and step out, eyeing the stove skeptically. "You’re making lotus root soup. What's wrong?" 

She scoffed. "You can tell something's wrong just from what I’m making for dinner?"

"It's your go-to sad food,” Tamara commented matter-of-factly. 

That was true; it had moved from a celebratory meal to a comfort one after her mom had made her cry over the pot the last time she made it for a special occasion. Changed the ambiance of the dish for her entirely. 

Tamara climbed onto a stool on the other side of the counter. "So, I'll ask again...what's wrong? Does this have anything to do with a certain Sergeant at a certain police station that you may or may not work at?"

"Hmm...I wonder who you could be talking about," Lucy deadpanned, fighting back an eye roll at Tamara's lack of subtlety. Silence filled the air as Tamara waited patiently for Lucy to answer her roundabout question. As always, Lucy gave in eventually. "Okay, yes, it's about Tim. But it's...complicated."

"Complicated as in, you're his aide complicated or complicated as in, he's back with Ashley complicated?"

"More like the latter, I think." 

Tamara's eyes widened, shocked and disgusted. "He's back with Ashley?!"

"No, he’s not.” The young adult sat in anticipation, silently prompting her roommate to elaborate. “Okay, fine. You remember that Tim was married, right?” 

Tamara hummed, “Yeah. His ex-wife was a drug addict.”

“Isabel’s clean now, but yes. She was. Anyways, she’s back in town. Dropped by the station near the end of shift today,” Lucy explained, absently switching off the burner when she was satisfied the soup was ready. Tamara raised her eyebrows at the news, clearly confused. 

“Wait, she just randomly showed up out of the blue?” 

“Apparently there was an issue with their divorce paperwork. I’m not entirely sure what’s going on. Tim…didn’t really talk about it,” she ground out, trying to hide her obvious disdain. 

“Shit, ” Tamara cursed under her breath, “So you think she wants to get back together with him?” 

“I don’t know.” That was partially a lie. Lucy did know; or, at least, she had informed suspicions. But she wasn’t sure that carrying this conversation further with Tamara would do them both any good. She didn’t want to dump her emotional problems on the impressionable woman, no matter how much she needed someone to talk to. Therefore, Lucy pulled out two bowls from the cabinet and shrugged nonchalantly, “It’s really none of my business, anyway.” 

“Sure, it isn’t.” Tamara frowned through the sarcastic comment. Lucy gave her a pointed look while she panned out their meals. 

“It’s not.” 

“You’re honestly telling me that it wouldn’t bother you at all if Tim got back together with his ex-wife?” 

“You weren’t there when it happened, Tamara.” Lucy attempted to keep her voice calm as she thought back to those early rookie days, which felt like a lifetime ago. Just as she remembered the abrasiveness in his tone when he yelled at her to get out of the shop and walk, she also remembered the pain in his eyes as he watched Isabel run away from him at the liquor store after taking all his cash. “I mean, neither was I, really. I was only there for some of it, but I know it hurt him a lot to let her go. So if he wants to get back together with her, that’s none of my business. It’s his life.” 

“But—” Tamara started as Lucy set the soup bowl in front of her. Lucy grabbed two spoons from the drawer next to her and walked around with her own bowl, eventually coming to sit down.

“But what?” 

“Never mind,” said Tamara as she attempted to sip the scalding hot liquid from the spoon.

“Oh, just spit it out already! I’d really rather not spend the next two days watching whatever passive aggressive ClipTalks you send me to make your point,” Lucy mocked, rolling her eyes. 

“It’s just…you haven’t even told him how you feel,” she argued. As expected, Lucy looked up in alarm and immediate defense, but Tamara continued before she could interject. “Do you really think it’s fair to let Tim make such a big life decision without even having all the facts?” 

“It’s not that simple,” Lucy protested, though the words were a mere mumble while she lifted the spoon into her mouth. This time, Tamara was the one with the eye roll.

“Old people always make things so complicated,” she muttered under her breath with a frustrated groan, then threw her hands up in the air and hopped off the stool. “Well, if you want to sit around, stand by and watch as Tim makes a huge mistake…fine. But since that means I’ll probably be eating lots of lotus root soup in the future, I think I’ll save my appetite. I’m in the mood for burgers, anyway.” 

Lucy grimaced as Tamara made her way to the door, grabbing her bag on the way out. “Hey, I’m not old!”

She reckoned Tamara didn't even hear her protest as the door closed behind her. Now in silence, Lucy huffed defeatedly, slumping down in her seat while she took another sip from the bowl in front of her. The lotus root soup tasted good, sure, but now…now, Tamara had her thinking about burgers. 

Despite Tamara’s misgivings and the voice in her own head telling Lucy that she knew Tim getting back together with Isabel was the wrong decision, she continued to spend the night convincing herself that it wasn’t her business. Tim didn’t tell her for a reason—because he didn’t want her opinion on it. 

And she would have to respect that, no matter how much she didn’t want to.

“Hello! You’ve reached the voicemail of Lucy Chen. I’m not able to answer the phone right now, but if you leave a message, I’ll call you back as soon as I can! Hope you have a lovely day!” 

If Tim wasn’t so annoyed at the fact that Lucy wasn’t answering his calls or texts, he might’ve found the excited voicemail greeting endearing. He didn’t hear it often enough. Usually he wouldn’t bother leaving a voicemail, certain that she’d call him back when she saw his missed call. But this time, he contemplated leaving a message to tell her that they needed to talk. 

He heard the automated voice on the line ask him to leave a message after the tone. Tim opened his mouth to begin, but found himself snapping it shut after a long pause. He lowered his phone to his side and ended the call, sighing as he set the phone down on the counter and stared at it. 

The look she gave him back at the precinct nearly broke his heart in half. Hurt. Confusion. Anger. All conveyed in a single look in his direction once she turned to face him as he walked into the waiting area, having been notified by Officer Webb that a blonde-haired, blue-eyed woman was there to visit. 

Tim felt like he’d stood in that doorway for hours, frozen at Lucy’s obvious recognition before she finally muttered a pleasantry to Isabel and fled right past him. He tried to call out and stop her, but he’d barely managed her name before he heard the authorized door shut. 

Then he was left facing Isabel. She expressed her hope that they could go out for dinner after his shift, but he told her (as calmly as he could manage, given the circumstances) that she should go home. Isabel seemed confused, but he walked back into the station without waiting for her to confirm understanding. Tim looked around for Lucy, but soon realized she’d gone to the locker rooms. He went to change into his own plain clothes, intent upon catching her on her way out, but got stuck in a lengthy conversation with a chatty Nolan, on edge after his T.O. exam. Tim knew he missed his opportunity to speak with Lucy when he saw her parking spot empty in the garage on the way to his truck.

Those circumstances led to the present, with Tim leaning up against the counter in his kitchen island for support, blowing out a frustrated breath as he typed a message to her.

Lucy, answer the phone, the first one read. And, because he’d had the good sense to realize he forgot his manners, he added, Please straight after. 

Seconds ticked by and she didn’t answer, but he knew better than to assume she hadn’t seen it. The woman took her phone to the bathroom with her, for crying out loud. She was obviously ignoring his attempts to reach out.

Tim tapped her name on the screen one more time to call again, but when he heard the familiar perky voice of her greeting, he hung up and finally accepted that she wasn’t going to answer. Not tonight, anyway.

“Good boy, Kojo!” Tim overheard as the front door opened. A few seconds later, Kojo burst out from the foyer with Isabel trailing not far behind. She set Kojo’s leash and harness on the kitchen counter across from Tim while the dog came up and rubbed his behind against his owner's leg in greeting. 

“You’re home,” Isabel noted with a smile as she unzipped her jacket. Tim reached down to brush Kojo’s back lamely as he nodded. 

“Yeah. How was your walk?” He’d come home to find a note on the counter in Isabel’s handwriting. It said Trisha came over to take Kojo for his early evening walk, but Isabel sent her home and took him instead. Tim knew already because Trisha texted him while he was driving home. 

“Really good! He’s so well trained. Not that I’m surprised. You were always good with animals,” she pointed out, then laughed. “Remember when we went over to the neighbor’s for dinner that one time and the dog kept jumping on you? They swore they went to ten different pet training classes to get him to stop doing that, and you had that dog sitting still in a matter of minutes!” 

He forced a smile and walked over to the fridge, pulling out a beer. “I remember.” 

“You know, I really think dog training could be your retirement gig,” Isabel quipped, rewarded with only a short huff from him.

Her eyes involuntarily glanced down at the counter, where she happened to see the open text chain with Lucy’s name clearly visible at the top. Tim was too busy popping off the cap on his beer to notice her eyebrows furrow in slight confusion, a hint of suspicion lingering from the earlier tension she'd witnessed back at the station after Tim found her and Lucy chatting in the waiting area.

“So…” Isabel began, tailoring her tone to hide her obvious attempt to pry, “Lucy’s a P2 now?”

Tim looked back at her, alarmed at the sudden change in topic. At that moment, he realized he'd left his phone lying on the counter for her to see; quickly, he reached forward, locking it and slipping it into his pocket in one smooth motion.

“She is.” He took a swig from his beer with a nod.

“She any good at the job?” 

“Yeah,” Tim admitted, but bit back the urge to tell Isabel just how good Lucy was. He tempered with a few compliments in his head that he knew Lucy would die to hear from him, but ended up settling on the most modest one. “She’s on track to move up fast.”

“Well, of course. You trained her, after all.” He produced a soft smile to match the one that Isabel gave him then, but internally disagreed. Though he would love the chance to take credit for Lucy’s prowess, that was all her. “It was so crazy running into her at the station today. You know, the last time I spoke to her was when she called asking about how we used to study in the Academy. I thought it was so strange, your rookie calling me out of the blue...but she said that it was about you studying for the Sergeant’s exam?” 

He nodded, thinking back to that moment in the gym where Lucy handed him the audiobook she recorded after finding out from Isabel that he was a kinesthetic learner. 

“She helped me out,” Tim answered lamely. Maybe he didn’t realize it then, but he knew now that was one of the first times he’d felt something deeper for Lucy Chen, a feeling that went far beyond the boundaries of a traditional Rookie/Training Officer relationship.

Isabel chuckled. “Not like you to let your rookies get involved in your personal business. Be honest, how bad did you chew her out? I mean…first at my apartment, then with—” 

“Isabel,” he cut her off abruptly, voice turning hard as he stiffened, set his beer down on the counter, and crossed his arms over his chest defensively, “you shouldn’t have come down to the station today.” 

“I know,” she admitted sheepishly, accepting the change in topic despite initial reserve. “I just figured, you needed to eat…I needed to eat. And we could eat…together.” 

“I told you I needed time to think about things," he argued.

“And I get that, but—” 

“Look, I know that the clerical error means things are complicated right now, but you can’t just show up out of the blue after two years saying you want to get back together and just expect me to..to drop everything!” He released an irritated sigh, eyes locked onto hers. “Things have changed since you left, you know.”

Isabel hesitated, taking pause to consider the meaning behind his harshly spoken words. Honestly, he didn’t mean for the words to come out so curtly, but it was unavoidable given his growing aggravation with the entire situation. 

When Isabel finally spoke again, her voice suddenly quivered, and she fidgeted with her hands in the way she always used to when she was nervous about something. “Oh…I-I didn’t even…are you…are you seeing someone?” 

Though it was a logical takeaway from his outburst, the question caught Tim off guard. He opened his mouth to answer, but then noted to himself that it was a more loaded question than she'd intended to ask, no doubt. He wrestled with different versions of an answer in his head, but decided on telling her the technical truth.

“No,” he replied, and immediately read too much into the fact that her entire body softened the instant he said the word. "Well, yes, I was, but I'm not now. But that’s not—I just meant that I’m a Sergeant now and I can’t have my ex—I mean—my wife turning up randomly to the station. Especially considering everything that happened with you.” 

Isabel relaxed at the clarification, but he noticed she'd flinched when he alluded to her past arrest at the station. He thought briefly about apologizing, but she simply nodded and took the comment in stride, acknowledging that she did cross the line. 

“You're right. I didn't think about that. I’m sorry,” she apologized, a soft and sincere look in her eyes. 

He took a moment to absorb the win, nodding to demonstrate his understanding. "Thank you."

With a brief pause hanging in the air, Tim worked to calm his tone down while he contemplated how to say what was in the back of his mind. The question that had been rattling around ever since she told him that they made a mistake getting divorced. Eventually, he worked up the nerve to ask.

“Isabel…why now ?” She cocked an eyebrow in confusion, so he clarified, “You and I both agreed to the divorce when we did the paperwork the first time. And as inconvenient as this entire thing is, it doesn't change the fact that we've been divorced for nearly two years now. What changed?”

“I’m not sure,” said Isabel. Her voice dropped to a whisper then, eyes drifting to the floor in slight embarrassment at the vulnerability of her next words. “I guess I just…missed you.” 

Tim inhaled a sharp breath, shoulders slumping back against his body at the admission. The affection he heard then was reminiscent of the old version of Isabel that he remembered, the one that loved him in the way he’d always wanted. Before all the lies and the secrets. Before the addiction.

She continued, lifting her eyes to meet his. “I think when I found out that we were still legally married…I don’t know. It felt like a second chance. Like I’ve been given the opportunity to do things right this time.” 

“Isabel—” 

“Letting you go was a mistake, Tim,” she asserted suddenly. His mouth fell open, surprised to hear those words—with such resolve, too. Isabel noticed, but resumed before he could interject. “I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life, some that I can never fix. But this is one that I can fix now…not only that, it’s one that I want to. If you’ll let me.” 

Tim wasn’t sure how long he was quiet for after she finished the declaration, his head spinning in a million different directions. At some point, his voice settled into a whispered protest, “It’s…it’s not that simple.”

“But it can be,” she countered, pursing her lips. It was interesting watching his internal struggle considering that, from what she remembered, he was always so good at stripping things down to be less complicated. It used to annoy her how he saw the world in black and white; but with his absence, she’d started to realize that sometimes it was easier to have that outlook on life. It made things easier to compress.

Her optimistic insistence wasn’t helping his own conflicted mind. That’s why he suddenly rushed out: “I-I can’t do this right now.” 

Without warning, he moved out of the kitchen and towards the door. He didn’t know where he was going to go, but he just knew that he couldn’t be in the house any longer, fearing that he would make a mistake and come to regret it later.

“Tim, wait!” Isabel shouted after him, voice shaking as she followed him. Tim reluctantly turned back to see her, one hand poised the doorknob in case a quick escape was needed. She sucked in a loaded breath, then swallowed thickly.

“Look, I’m going to ask…a very simple question, I think. Do you…do you still love me?” She heard his breath hitch in surprise, so she added quickly, “Because you should know that I still love you.” 

He gaped at her for what felt like the longest time. Hours. Minutes. In reality, it was probably only a few seconds. Finally, at some point in the future, an involuntary scoff formed in his throat as he choked out, “I can’t answer that question.” 

“Try,” she urged. 

With a defeated sigh, Tim’s hand dropped from the door. There was only a small trace of the earlier reluctance that remained when he shook his head and forced a more thorough response. 

“We were together for nearly a decade. Of course there will always be a part of me that still…loves you.” He said it because it was true, and wouldn't even attempt to deny that. But, the words left a strange taste in his mouth that he couldn't place.

Her eyes lit up with a renewed spark. “Okay, then. So—” 

“—but it’s still not as simple as that,” he interrupted, gritting his teeth while he finished his earlier thought. 

“That’s fair,” Isabel agreed. “And it's not like I'm asking you to jump back into everything all at once, even if we are technically still married. I just want you to try…” she exhaled hard, deciding the best way to approach the conversation in a way that would convey her meaning so he’d understand. In the end, she settled on trying a different approach. “I think we should go out. On a date.” 

Tim blinked, surprised. “A date? ” 

“Yeah, a date.” When he merely stared back, open-mouthed, she couldn’t help the low chuckle that rose in her chest. “You see, it’s when you go out with another human being to do an activity or share a meal—” Isabel stopped at his disapproving glower, her chuckle growing louder. “Oh, come on. Lighten up!”

“It’s not funny.” 

She ignored him. “When does your shift end tomorrow?”

Tim sighed. “Seven. But—” 

“You don’t have to decide now. Can you just think about it? Please?” The desperation in her voice made his heart twist slightly, bringing him back to the days when he would’ve bent over backwards to do whatever she wanted just so he didn’t have to hear that tone. “I'll come down to the station tomorrow—don't worry, I won't go inside, but I'll wait in the parking lot until you come out—and you can tell me then. If you don't want to go, that’ll be the end of it. We’ll go down to the lawyers.” 

Despite the pain he suspected the promise caused her, she said it without missing a beat. Tim could see the hopeful gleam in her gaze, filled with uncharacteristic patience for him to make the decision on his own. 

He simply nodded, even though he had no clue what his answer was going to be. However, it was a near certainty that he'd spend the rest of the night agonizing over it.

There was only one thing he knew for sure—and it was that he needed to talk to Lucy. He wouldn’t do it tonight, to give her the space that she so clearly wanted. But he would tomorrow, and he knew that only after that conversation would he make a decision on Isabel's request.

He finally saw Lucy the next morning just as he was about to enter the roll call room. She wore no smile this time, but that didn’t deter him from walking straight up to her, determined to sort their issues out before their shift.

“Lucy—”

“Sergeant Bradford,” she greeted icily, forcing a smile. Tim frowned. 

“We need to talk.” 

“I think time for talking has passed,” Lucy countered, then gestured behind him to where Sergeant Grey was approaching.

Tim allowed himself to look over his shoulder where she was pointing, disappointed to find that when he turned back around, she’d already walked into the glass room and left him behind. When Sergeant Grey came over and nudged him into the room, Tim let out a defeated sigh and followed, having no other option.

While Sergeant Grey went through the day’s important announcements, Tim couldn’t help but look over at Lucy every once in a while. She listened intently, not letting on that anything was bothering her. It made his skin itch, though, when he felt an odd sensation of being simultaneously acknowledged and ignored by her. It was a feeling he didn’t particularly enjoy.

Grey wrapped up roll call with a note that it would be a busy day. Multiple large-crowd events and things of that nature. Tim knew that meant that he’d have little time to talk to Lucy in the shop with him as the only roving Sergeant on patrol, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t try. 

He watched as she fled the roll call room as soon as Grey dismissed the officers, grinding his teeth together to control his annoyance. Tim was about to follow despite the childish behavior, but he was called back by Grey.

"Bradford, wait. Nolan and Chen are riding together today. I need you with Thorsen," he informed.

“What?" Tim questioned, confused. "Why?” 

“You heard me earlier. It’s a busy day, and even though Nolan passed his T.O. exam, he doesn’t have privileges to train Thorsen yet.” Grey shrugged, then cocked an eyebrow. “Is that going to be problem?”

“No, sir,” he replied, though his fingers gripped tightly at his duty belt to prevent from showing an expression of disappointment at the news. 

“Good. Stay safe out there." He tapped Bradford's shoulder on the way out, and realization settled over Tim that he had no choice but to accept the unexpected change. With an aching chest, Tim walked out of the room to greet a wide-eyed, perky Aaron Thorsen. 

“Sergeant Bradford! Excited to ride with you again, sir,” the rookie gushed. 

Tim couldn’t fight the eye roll as he turned on his heel towards the garage. It was going to be a long day.

The entire shift was a nightmare for Tim, not only because there was a storm of ridiculous calls that somehow warranted the presence of a Sergeant, but because Tim hardly saw Lucy all day. She and Nolan were seemingly handling all their dispatches with ease—for example, by the time he heard about the 211 at a jewelry store half a block from his and Thorsen’s location, Chen already had both suspects in cuffs and in her shop. 

She’d graced him with only a half-second of eye contact before she climbed into the shop, content to stay there and fill out paperwork while Nolan briefed him on the situation. 

Then, there was Thorsen, who was good—credit owed to Harper’s training, of course—but wasn’t as good as another rookie he once knew. Though, perhaps it didn’t fully dawn on him how much he missed Chen until he and Thorsen sat down for a quick lunch at the food trucks and Thorsen didn’t even reach over to steal a fry from his tray. 

He'd suddenly remembered that he still needed to decide what to say to Isabel regarding her date request when he noticed a shop car pull up on the other side of the food truck lot. Ordinarily, it’d be nothing of consequence to Tim, but he saw Chen step out of the vehicle and shut the door behind her, smiling at Nolan as they went to the burrito truck. 

Tim made the decision to talk to Lucy just as he noticed that Thorsen had been talking in his ear this entire time.

“—so I told him that I knew someone down at the Venezuelan Embassy, and the man shut right up,” Thorsen laughed, shaking his head in fondness at the memory. He bit into his vegan burger with pride.

Tim snapped his eyes from Lucy to bark at Thorsen, “You think threatening a civilian using political connections is funny, boot?” 

Thorsen froze, mid-chew, eyes wide. “N-No, sir."

“That’s what I thought,” Tim huffed angrily before he lifted himself from the table, chucked his tray of half-eaten food into the garbage, and made his way over to where Lucy was ordering her usual burrito bowl. He passed Nolan on the way there, noticing that the other officer went to keep Thorsen company in the meantime.

Lucy barely even acknowledged his presence when he approached. 

“Chen, I need to speak to you,” said Tim, leaning towards towards her with intent. She avoided his attempted eye contact as she grabbed some napkins from the truck’s condiment station.

“Is that an order from my Sergeant or a request?” Lucy challenged, still refusing to look up at him.

“Does it matter?” he ground out, then retracted his harshness on second thought. “Obviously, it’s not an order. It’s a… respectful request.” 

“In that case, request denied. Respectfully,” she added for good measure, spinning around on her heel to sit down at a table not far from the food truck. Tim scowled at her sass, but nevertheless came to sit down across from her. He noticed she tensed up, but continued her performance of ignoring him. 

“Lucy, please,” he murmured.

And, although Tim Bradford would never beg, it sure sounded like he was doing exactly that. Which is why her eyes drifted up to meet his glazed-over blue ones. It made her heart stop briefly to face the look of desperation in his eyes. More than that, it took everything in her power to stop tears from forming in her own. She suddenly regretted being so cold to him all day. 

Only for a moment, though. Because after, she remembered that he deserved it.

With her attention captured, he started again. “Listen, I know you’re mad—” 

“Mad?” Lucy cut him off suddenly, crossing her arms over the table with a shrug. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m not mad.” 

“Sure you aren't,” he grumbled, wrinkling his nose in disbelief. She opened her mouth to protest his mockery, but he cut her off. “Look, Isabel shouldn’t have shown up at the station yesterday. And you weren’t supposed to see her. I’m...sorry about that.”

"That’s what you think I’m mad about? That I ran into Isabel at the station?”

“Yeah—well, no,” Tim amended, recognizing instantly from the way her mouth dropped that he knew she was getting angrier by the minute. He quickly tried to save himself the lecture. “No, of course I know that’s not why you’re mad…”

“Unbelievable,” Lucy mumbled, which earned his scowl.

"I'm trying to apologize here, you know." 

"Yeah and you're doing a really fantastic job at it," she snapped. Tim shifted uncomfortably, preparing to start again, but Lucy interrupted before he could. "Look, for as long as we've been riding together, you've been very clear about not wanting to talk about your personal life. I guess it was just my mistake for thinking we were good enough friends that you would actually volunteer the—pretty shocking, if I do say so myself—information that your ex-wife was back in town. So, no, I'm not mad. In all honesty, I probably should've expected it."

“That’s not fair," he argued, then reasoned, "I tell you about most things, whether I want to or not. This is clearly more…complicated."

“Why?”

Although it was a natural follow-up question, it was a lot more loaded than that. There was an edge to her tone that he picked up on instantly. A challenge, almost, for him to articulate the reason aloud and put an end to her misery.

“Because…” Tim stopped himself, suddenly aware that he was about to cross into uncharted territory, given that they had yet to discuss what everything really meant to them after the undercover operation. He was operating on the assumptions of his own feelings right now, never mind the fact that he didn’t even fully understand hers. 

Not to mention they were still in public. In the middle of their shift. Their co-workers surrounded them at other tables nearby. He couldn’t very well explain it then, could he? 

She fidgeted somewhat uncomfortably at his silence. So, clearing his throat, he finished lamely, "Look, you weren't wrong to expect me to tell you. It was my mistake. I'm…sorry." 

The air between them was filled with silence the next moment. In the shadows of the bright sunlight that beamed around them, he noticed that Lucy's face had softened, lips pursed in thought as she decided whether or not to forgive him. When she finally made a move to look up at him, he knew that he was forgiven. It felt like an impossible weight had been lifted off his chest in an instant. 

They held each other's gaze longer than necessary. She must've recognized the tension in the air at some point, because she was the first to break it, refocusing her attention to her meal.

“Isabel said there was a clerical error.” It was a statement, not a question. He nodded tightly. “What does that…mean?” 

“Long story, but my hatred for lawyers has been renewed,” Tim quipped, rewarded when he saw a flash of a smile on Lucy’s lips before she realized she’d slipped. “Basically, we’re still married. But you figured that already, didn’t you?” 

Lucy nodded to confirm, took a bite of her meal, then asked, “And she told me you’re deciding on whether or not she’s going to…stay?” 

Tim gulped, a new thickness forming in his throat. He looked into her expectant brown eyes, trying to figure out what to say that wouldn’t hurt her. He knew, though, that whatever he did tell her, it had to be the truth this time. He couldn’t hide anything from her anymore. 

“She’s made it clear that she’s not ready to file new paperwork.” 

Lucy pursed her lips, then decided she was tired of beating around the bush with him. “In other words, she wants you back.” 

“I guess. She wants to go out tonight, on a date, to…see where things are at,” he admitted, a heat of shame manifesting in a blush across his cheeks. Her eyes dropped from his and she continued to pick at her meal with the plastic fork in her hand while he voluntarily elaborated. “But I haven’t decided if I’m going to go or not.”

“Oh.” 

“Yeah.” There was an awkward moment of silence as she pushed the rice around on her plate. Though he couldn’t exactly see her reaction, he knew her well enough to know that she was bound to have some feelings about the entire affair. “Lucy, you should know—”

“Tim, stop. You don’t have to explain anything,” she whispered. 

“I know I don’t have to,” he scoffed softly, “but I want to.”

“Well, don’t,” Lucy snapped suddenly. “It’s really none of my business what you decide, anyways.” 

She couldn’t see it, but he was frowning at the statement. Though it was everything he probably should’ve said, he found himself disappointed that she wasn’t considering it her business. Because, to him, it could be. If that was what she wanted.

“Do you really believe that?” Tim asked, voice laced with hurt.

She dropped her fork abruptly and looked up at him, eyes hardened. It appeared that the one question was enough to tip her over her breaking point.

“What do you want me to say, Tim? Should I remind you about all the horrible things she did? Like that time she OD’d while we were on shift and you punched right through a wall after she refused your help? How about when she got arrested by Detectives at our own precinct? Or—oh yeah, what about that time when she tried to manipulate you into committing a crime?” Lucy whispered that last part, though she regretted saying it entirely the instant she saw him wince visibly from the recollection of that night, the night she caught him outside of Isabel’s apartment having just attempted to do the very illegal thing his wife asked him to do. 

The words stung in the air for a while as Lucy collected herself carefully, attempting to soothe her tone before she spoke again. Her face was still blistering with anger, though, when she stood from the table. 

“It’s your life,” she pointed out, grabbing her tray as he looked up at her. “And it’s not my decision.” 

He opened his mouth to call after her, but she was gone too quickly. Chucked her half-eaten meal into the garbage and headed into the station, presumably to wait until Nolan was finished with his meal and they could head out again.

Tim exhaled hard, allowed himself exactly two seconds to gather his composure before he stood up. 

“Let’s go, boot!” He shouted across the tables. Thorsen’s head popped up immediately, and Tim turned towards the shop, Lucy’s words echoing in his head.

Thorsen had been a good sport the rest of the afternoon, because Tim really wasn’t the easiest person to deal with after the lunch fiasco with Lucy. Every time Aaron made an attempt to talk to Tim, he was met with a cold stare or—worse—utter silence. Eventually, Thorsen gave up on trying to lighten the Sergeant’s mood and began to anticipate the worst. 

Which was a good thing, too, because Tim assigned Thorsen to finish all the paperwork from their shift. While Thorsen completed it, Tim went to the locker room, desperate to get as far away from the station as possible after the day’s events. 

But when he finally changed out and grabbed his things, he glanced at his phone to see the time: 7:03 p.m. Isabel would be waiting for him in the parking lot, he remembered, to receive her answer on whether or not they would be going out on their date.

He sighed, defeated, and slammed his locker door shut. He couldn’t go out with her, not tonight. Maybe not ever. But certainly not when he was so aggravated and torn over Lucy’s reaction earlier.

Tim started to prepare excuses in his head to Isabel as he walked out of the locker rooms and to the parking lot outside the precinct. He walked up to the glass doors at the front of the station leading to the exit, where he could see his truck outside and Isabel’s car next to it. She must've noticed him standing there in the window, because Isabel climbed out of the driver’s seat of her car to reveal herself. Her hair was curled, there a heavier layer of makeup on her face than usual, and she was wearing a flowy blue dress that matched the color of her eyes.

Through the double-paned windows, Isabel smiled at him softly. Either anticipating his acceptance or, at the very least, hoping for it.

He sighed at the sight, not sure whether it was one of exasperation or admiration. If he were being honest with himself, it was probably a mixture of both. 

“Tim?” 

The voice snapped him out of his stare, forcing him to turn around and come face-to-face with the woman behind him. It was Lucy—he knew that already from the sound of her voice, because he’d know it anywhere—and she was in her plain clothes, too. Nothing fancy, just jeans and a white t-shirt. Her hair was down like it usually was, in soft waves around her face. He sighed at that sight too, his heart aching in his chest as if it were being torn in half. 

“Um, hi,” he replied, slightly surprised to see her given how they’d left things at lunch. The softened look on her face made him hopeful that maybe she’d given up on the earlier anger she’d harbored. “I thought you left.” 

She shook her head in response, then peered around him to look out the window. He didn’t turn, and instead watched her shoulders tense as she returned to look at him, prompting, “Isabel’s waiting?”

“Yeah,” Tim admitted, apprehension in his tone. She nodded this time and readjusted the strap of her bag that rested on her shoulder uncomfortably.

“Well, look, I just wanted to apologize for earlier.” Lucy licked her lips as if the apology left a sour taste in her mouth. “I was out of line. You didn’t ask—” 

“I’m asking now,” Tim interjected suddenly, voice soft yet stern. She brought her eyes up to meet his, and she could’ve sworn that, in that moment, he looked desperate. It wasn’t a look she often saw, and it made her heart burst with emotions she wasn’t ready to handle. 

Lucy was so distracted by his intense gaze that she failed to respond, so he took it upon himself to do the necessary prompting for her.

“What do you think I should do?” 

His eyes drifted down to her lips for a brief moment, begging silently for her to tell him that she didn’t want him to go. So that he could kiss her like he wanted to without any guilt or hesitation. She, too, glanced down at his mouth with the same thought. 

The truth was that if only she were honest with him about how she felt in that moment, he would finally be honest with her, too. But, of course, that was too much to ask for. Because even if she did tell him the truth, Lucy knew that it wouldn’t change the circumstances.

“I think you should go,” she whispered eventually, nodding once with resolve. If her hands weren’t at her sides, she was sure that he would see them shaking. He wouldn’t have noticed anyways, considering his entire body deflated when she said the words and his heart tore a little bit more in his chest, this time from more pain than he could've imagined.

In the end, though, it was the truth that Lucy told him. She didn’t want him to go, but she knew enough to know that he had to. He had to see this through. It was Isabel, after all. His wife. If she told him not to go now and he didn’t, he would always wonder what would’ve happened if he did. 

He might not believe that, but she did. And Lucy wasn’t going to be the reason he lived with regret his whole life. 

Tim didn’t say anything, for he feared that even if he could manage words from his mouth, he would say the wrong thing. Maybe his words would come out in anger, or maybe he would just not bother with words at all and instead opt for action. Either scenario would inevitably end in more heartbreak.

So instead, he nodded in agreement and began to slowly back away towards the door.

“Goodnight, Lucy,” he murmured softly. 

“Goodnight, Tim,” she replied, heart aching as he turned on his heel and walked out. She stared after him, observing in silence as he greeted his wife outside.

And he would take her advice. Because…well, because he always did.

Chapter Text

The ride to the restaurant in Tim’s truck was awkward, to say the least. 

“I think you should go,” Lucy had said to him earlier. Whether she’d said it because she believed it or because she was just trying to be supportive as always, he didn’t know. Either way—to him—it felt like with those words, she had closed the door that he’d opened for them back in the parking lot the day they came back from undercover. 

And it hurt just as badly as he expected it would. A feeling he didn’t particularly enjoy.

Isabel alternated between allowing him the privilege of silence and trying to ask him about his day. He kept his answers short and sweet, thankful that the restaurant wasn’t too far away and the traffic wasn’t too bad so that their ride wasn’t too long. They reached it just in time before the dinner rush. 

“Raveena?” Isabel gasped in recognition as they both climbed out of the parked truck. “I totally forgot about this place. We used to come here all the time, didn’t we?” 

He couldn’t fight back the smile that threatened from the memories. It was true that Raveena used to be their go-to date night place, so much so that it became a comfort for Tim after she left him. It was one of the reasons he’d taken Rachel to the restaurant when he and Lucy made their bet. Familiar territory and all.

“Yeah, we did.” 

“It looks exactly the same.” 

“Don’t let it fool you,” he grumbled, fighting the eye roll that threatened. “Their prices have certainly changed.” 

Isabel snickered. “If their filet mignon is still as good as I remember, it’s worth every penny.”

He was about to agree when the hostess asked him for a name to put down on the walk-up list. Tim obliged, and the hostess relayed to him that it would be about a twenty-minute wait. Isabel voiced that she had no problem with that, so he gave the hostess his phone number and received a confirmation text moments later with updates on their reservation. 

Tim opened his phone to clear out the confirmation text from the restaurant. A moment passed and he found himself still staring at his phone, unable to help the disappointment that overwhelmed him when he noticed there wasn’t another text (or any form of attempted communication) from someone else. 

“Everything okay?” 

Isabel’s voice caused him to jolt slightly. Tim looked up, caught, and attempted to collect himself.

What was Lucy going to do, text him and tell him she changed her mind? That he shouldn’t go through with his date with Isabel? That he should go and see her instead? It was wishful thinking on his part.

She’d watched them leave the station. She gave him the clear advice he so desperately sought from her. She told him to do this. And if he were being honest with himself, he knew that he needed to do this—that he wanted to do this. He owed it to Isabel to give it a shot; to see whether there was anything between them before he decided once and for all what they were going to do about the papers. 

So, decidedly, he made his best effort to shove the thought of Lucy Chen into the back corner of his mind, shook off the residual disappointment, and slipped his phone into his pocket with a nod. 

“It’s fine. I-It’s great,” he corrected quickly. Tim summoned a smile to his wife in front of him, relieved to see her entire body relax as she accepted the positive response. 

“Great,” Isabel echoed, still smiling. “I’m…happy we’re doing this, Tim.”

It didn’t evade him how earnest Isabel sounded when she said the words, and he was starting to believe—slowly, but surely—that she was really serious about getting back together. Not that he didn’t believe it before, but…well, it was hard to believe, really. After so much time, he didn’t think there would ever be a chance at rekindling their relationship. And he’d considered that was for the best. 

He wasn’t sure whether he’d changed his mind on that, but standing there in front of the old restaurant they used to frequent, just the two of them—it felt familiar. It felt good, and he couldn’t very well deny that fact. 

“Me, too,” Tim breathed. And for a moment—a single moment—the pain he’d felt earlier when he’d left Lucy’s side at the precinct started to dull.

They stayed smiling at each other for an indeterminate amount of time before they finally settled down on a bench outside the restaurant and waited for their last name to be called by the hostess.

It wasn’t like other dates, Tim realized. 

Every time he'd been on a date since his divorce, it had been a vile mixture of awkwardness and discomfort that he hated. Like, really hated. The mere act of opening up enough to let someone know him so intimately was always a difficult feat for him, and more often than not, it was a while before he was truly himself when he went on dates with women. Rachel was probably the easiest time he had, but that was probably because her profession had made her more compassionate and perceptive than other women. It took him a lot longer to get used to Ashley, and even then, he wasn’t really sure whether they ever really got to a place where he could be his true self with her. 

This was…different. 

The moment he’d decided to put Lucy out of his mind, things became less awkward between him and Isabel. It was his turn, now, to ask Isabel about her life. He learned some useful pieces of information in the process. For example, he learned about her new job in security. He learned about how her brother came and visited when he was on leave from the Marines. He learned that she took up painting as a hobby when she was in the rehab center, and continued it when she was released. It was hard for him to imagine her being so creative (it wasn’t like the old Isabel he knew), but Tim could accept the fact that they were both changed people. In hindsight, it shouldn’t have surprised him as much as it did. 

They talked while they waited for their table, then talked some more while they sat down. She ordered the filet as expected, so he decided to go with something different so they wouldn’t be eating the same thing.

He didn’t realize that the dish came with mushrooms on it, though. Tim wrinkled his nose as he pushed them to the side. That was the first moment his mind betrayed him and conjured back the thought of a certain Sergeant’s aide who would’ve jumped at the chance to steal them off his plate. 

Luckily, Isabel didn’t notice. She cut into her filet and continued their conversation. “Lopez is married?” 

“Yep. To a lawyer.” He shot her a pointed look, earning her to snort. 

“Leave it to Lopez to fall in love with the enemy. At least it’s only a first marriage,” she joked. He smiled, remembering how he’d said the same thing to the room full of cops when Angela initially decided to cancel their ill-fated wedding before they found another solution. Ironic that it never actually panned out in the end, anyway. 

“They have a son, too,” Tim informed her. Isabel’s eyes widened as she chewed on her food and processed the information. 

“No way! Good for them.” 

There was a small trace of sadness in her voice that Tim related to, because he knew exactly what she was thinking. Neither one of them expected Angela Lopez to have a kid before they had. 

But, of course, life got in the way. And drugs, too.

Tim leaned forward and sipped his wine as Isabel continued, “So, when did you get promoted to Sergeant?” 

“About a year ago,” Tim replied. “There was an incident at Lopez’s wedding and I got promoted shortly after.” 

Isabel’s eyebrows furrowed, confused. “But Lucy called me about your Sergeant’s exam just after I got out of rehab…” He froze slightly when Lucy’s name came out of Isabel’s mouth, but tried his best to cover the hiccup. 

“It was about six months after the results came out. Pretty normal,” he said, attempting to brush it off.

“Hmm. I would’ve thought Grey would pull some strings and get you promoted as soon as you passed the exam.” 

He moved to put the wine glass back on the table and stiffened, cutting into the piece of fish on his plate. 

“Um…I mean—well, actually, yeah. He did,” Tim stuttered, gripping his knife tightly as he avoided Isabel’s eye contact. “It was a position at North Hollywood. But I didn’t take it.” 

“North Hollywood?” Isabel repeated, impressed. “That’s a good division. Why’d you turn it down?” 

“It’s complicated,” he replied, trying to shrug off the question as if it were nothing. Despite that exterior, he was grinding his teeth together, jaw squared so tightly he was worried it would hurt in the morning. 

When Isabel didn’t respond and he caught her simply staring at him, waiting for an explanation, he knew that he had to come up with something. He thought back to the night he told Grey that he wouldn’t be taking the North Hollywood position, and how lucky he was that the Watch Commander didn’t ask why he chose to turn it down. He probably wouldn’t have been able to come up with an answer then, but he knew deep down why he needed to stay.

He swallowed his food and explained further. “There was a lot going on at the time. I didn’t want to leave…Mid-Wilshire.” There. That was as close to the truth as he could get. 

Tim removed his eyes from Isabel as quickly as he could, afraid that his expression would give himself away. In reality, it was what finally peaked her suspicions about the whole situation. 

Because Isabel Bradford wasn’t a stupid woman. And the more she learned about her husband’s life, the more she was starting to put pieces together that she wasn’t sure she wanted to.

“Did it…did it have anything to do with Lucy and that serial killer?” Isabel pressed, keeping her voice quiet so she didn’t alarm anyone at the tables around them. Tim’s eyes snapped up as she clarified, “I-I saw the news. And I still have a few friends at my old station who have kept me updated.”

“Oh.” He was actually quite surprised that anyone at her old station would still keep in contact with her, given what happened, but he ultimately decided to nod. “Well, yeah, I guess that was part of it, but—I mean, like I said. It wasn’t the best time to leave.” 

“Because of Lucy.” It was less of a question now and more a knowing statement. She was clearly trying to get him to admit what he couldn’t say aloud.  

“Because of…a lot of things.” Tim shifted in his seat uncomfortably and tried not to let Lucy’s name send him into a spiral. “I told you, it’s complicated.” 

Isabel quieted, relenting to his answer at last. He shoved another piece of fish into his mouth, slightly annoyed at the residual taste of mushrooms from where they were shoved on the side of his plate. 

He should’ve known better than to think Isabel wouldn’t continue pressing on the matter. She was never one to give up so easily, and he would do best to remember that later. 

“So who is Lucy riding with nowadays?” Isabel tried to keep the question as light as she could, cutting into her steak absently as she asked. 

“She’s my aide,” he answered, though he found himself questioning whether that was true or not. They hadn’t ridden together since returning from the undercover op, and he wondered whether she would want to continue their arrangement with everything that happened between them.

“Oh. So you two are riding together again? That must be nice.” He nodded, and ignored the insinuation in her voice. “Does she—” 

Tim cut her off abruptly, dropping his fork onto his plate as he looked up at her and forced a smile. “Look, I would really rather not talk about L—Chen, if that’s okay.” 

He picked up his fork again and began to finish eating, all the while unaware that she was staring at him, eyes narrowed, curious as to why he was reacting in the way he did. But when Isabel realized that this was her one shot to win Tim back, she was determined to push Lucy Chen to the back of her mind and let it go. 

So, she graciously allowed him to skip over the conversation, and they quickly returned to their normalcy as if it never happened. 

When Tim opened the door to his home, he was instantly greeted by an excited and attention-depraved Kojo. The canine seemed to have forgotten his manners instantly upon Isabel and Tim entering the foyer, jumping up onto his hind legs as he tried to welcome the humans back into the house. Isabel was laughing and petting Kojo as he tried to get his dog to calm down, but the excitement was too much for the pup. Tim eventually let it go and moved past Isabel to the backdoor, calling out Kojo’s name as he went to the backyard to let the dog out to do his business.

Isabel set her purse down on the front table and reached for her shoes. She had to admit, the rest of the night had been successful—for the most part, anyway. There was still a feeling of dread she had deep in her stomach when she remembered all the stories Tim told her while they ate their food, stories about his most recent calls. It was obvious he cut out Lucy’s involvement and tailored the story to her ears. Again, she wasn’t a stupid woman. 

But Isabel tried not to let it get to her. Despite everything inside of her screaming that there was something there, she decided not to let it interfere in what they were doing. Tim had agreed to go out with her, which meant that there was hope. And though she told him that she wanted to take things slow (and, that was true), she was still determined to make a decision about what to do with the lawyers. 

He just needed a little convincing. 

After changing from her heels to a pair of flip-flops at the front door, Isabel moved out to the backyard to join Tim. 

He’d pulled out his phone to check it briefly. At first, there was an excited panic when he saw a notification, but then just realized it was Angela sending him a picture of Jack. A wave of disappointment then shivered through his body when he realized there was no communication from Lucy still. Not that he expected anything. But, the absence was a painful reminder. 

Isabel shut the sliding door, earning his attention. He slipped his phone back into his pocket and whistled at Kojo, who stopped sniffing at a random bush to finally focus on the task at hand. When the dog went over to the corner, Isabel approached his side. 

“I had a lot of fun tonight,” she said, voice soft. Their eyes met in the dimly lit night. 

“Me, too, actually,” he agreed. It was the truth, despite everything in him that was still confused about everything.

“You seem surprised?” 

“I am, a little.” Tim turned his body to face her with a shrug. “I mean…you have to admit. This is weird, us being back together.” A long silence filled the space between them before he finally recognized what his words sounded like. Eyes wide, he amended, “I-I mean…not together, together—” 

“I know what you meant, Tim,” Isabel chuckled. He nodded, grateful for saving him from being a babbling idiot. Tim turned to look up at the night sky while she spoke again. “Did you really never think about getting back together?” 

Tim shrugged and answered honestly. “Maybe at first. But we agreed that it was the best thing to do, at the rehab center. I thought that was it.”

“No, you agreed.” Tim scowled when he heard her snort, and found her shaking her head disappointedly. “You were so adamant that I couldn’t get past what happened—” 

“Hold on. Are you saying that I forced the divorce on you?” He questioned suddenly, moving to face her again. This time, she turned to face him, immediately denying his question.

“No. No, of course not! That’s not what I’m saying at all.” Tim watched as she took in a deep breath and locked eyes with him while she tried to gather words to explain herself better. “You were right. Or, at least, I believed you were right at the time. I thought it was the best thing for you, because I didn’t want to hurt you any more than I already did. And being around you was hard, given everything that happened between us.” 

Isabel paused, the words lingering in the air as he processed her words and the softness in her eyes. In the distance, Tim could hear Kojo chewing on a stick as Isabel continued, “But I wish more than anything that I didn’t let you leave that day. I wish…” 

“You wish what?” 

“I wish…that I’d fought for you, like you did for me.”

And it was the pain in her voice that nearly broke him. He’d imagined her saying that sentence so many times, but he never in a million years thought he’d actually hear it. In a flash, all the emotions he’d felt when Isabel left him all that time ago came flooding back, leaving him frozen in his stance. The only thing he could focus on was Isabel’s eyes. The subtle glaze of wetness that coated them. She felt like Isabel again. Like he’d fallen into a time machine and ended up before all the bad stuff happened.

It was just his wife and him, standing in the backyard, like nothing had ever happened. 

Maybe that was why he didn’t move when she stepped forward, so close to him now that he could smell the faint scent of roses that he assumed was from either her shampoo or perfume. Maybe that’s why he didn’t flinch when she reached up to press her hand against his chest, in the same spot that she always did when they’d been intimate before. Maybe that’s why he made no attempt to pull back when she leaned in, and he let muscle memory take its form as he leaned down to meet her halfway. 

And when their lips finally touched, Tim suddenly had all the answers he’d been searching for.

When Lucy finally felt the hiccups from her sobs subsiding, she wasn't entirely sure how long she'd been laying in bed for. 

She'd kept it together (for the most part, anyway) all the way from when she left the precinct to when Tamara told her that she was going out to meet with her study group. Lucy didn't cry on the way home, despite the dull ache in her chest that wanted nothing more. And when she came home, she spoke to Tamara as if nothing was wrong. She'd listened to Tamara's story about her English professor's unfortunate coffee spill accident in the morning, and asked all the necessary questions she needed to when Tamara informed her of her plans to meet up at the library with a few friends from her Chemistry class, and that she’d probably stay with one of her friends if it got too late. 

That bit was the easiest because, for just a split moment, Lucy forgot all about the fact that Tim was going on a date with his wife tonight and would probably end up with his arms around her in the morning. 

Yes, Lucy held it together for a long time. A whole fifteen minutes passed between the time Tamara left and Lucy shut down all the lights in the apartment before she climbed into bed and gave into the tears.

She wasn't exactly sure how long her tears flowed. Long enough for there to be a decent-sized wet spot on her pillow. It was starting to dry, though.

The thing is, she'd hardly ever cried like this before. The last time she could remember being so heartbroken was when Jackson died, but that was understandable. Crying over a man, that was a different story. She’d never let herself get so attached before. When her ex-boyfriend cheated on her, she'd shed a few measly tears, but something inside of her knew that it was just because she was well aware that she'd have to find a new place to live given the situation. With Emmett’s pathetic text break-up, her only emotion had been anger, so there were no tears lost there. She’d cried for her breakup with Nolan some, but that was (again) more out of anger for the entire situation—the fact that she had to give something up just because of society's many prejudices against women. 

This was different and she knew it. She hadn't even entered into any real romantic relationship with Tim and yet, the mere thought of him with Isabel tonight made her sob even harder into the pillow. 

It was one thing to imagine him marrying Ashley—the one who wasn't right for him, no matter what he said about being able to see himself married to her. It was a completely different thing to have Isabel show back up. This was a woman that he once loved so much, he’d turned a blind eye to proper protocol and procedure multiple times to protect her. That was no small feat for Tim Bradford, a man of unwavering principles and old-school Code of Honor.

Isabel was the love of his life. Lucy knew he let her go because he didn't want to cause her any more pain, because that's just who he was. It wasn't like he didn't still love her, and Lucy knew that all too well. Maybe before she'd returned, he'd been content with living his life without Isabel because he had to. Now that he didn't, Lucy was certain he would take that chance. He'd be stupid not to. They had history; unfulfilled plans for a happily married life with kids and the works. 

It would be the easiest thing in the world for him to just slip right back into it like the last few years didn't happen. 

Lucy was sure that when her sobs finally died, it wasn't because she wasn't still upset about it, but rather that she didn't have any more tears left in her anymore. But whenever she closed her eyes to try and sleep, all she could see was the hesitation in his eyes that she'd noticed back in the lobby earlier. And when she attempted to shove that image out of her head, it was replaced with new ones. Isabel waiting at his truck with a smile on her face as he approached. Tim opening the passenger door for her to climb inside.

Her stomach twisted in agony, as if someone was stabbing her repeatedly. Desperate to rid herself of the feeling, she leaned onto her side and grabbed her phone from her nightstand, intending to distract herself. 

To her surprise, though, she had two text notifications from Chris Sanford. Confused, Lucy blinked the tears away from her eyes to read the messages, moving to sit upright in her bed.

Hey. 

I have some stuff to get from your place. Can I come over tomorrow? Or you can bring them by the office if that works better.

Lucy tapped her fingers against the back of her phone case as she contemplated how to respond. She threw a look to the corner of her room, remembering that she put Chris’s things in a pile there back when she had the day off after the undercover operation. The memory reminded her of how other things were supposed to happen on that day, but everything had gotten so royally fucked up. 

Staring at the text messages, Lucy decided that if she had any chance at sleeping peacefully tonight, she would need a distraction. 

And Chris was always good at that, wasn’t he?

So, she texted back; fully aware that it was 11 p.m. on a weekday. However, she knew that Chris never went to sleep before midnight, because he was always up doing extra work for Del Monte. She used this information to her advantage, because she had certain…ulterior motives.

Can you come over now?

Chapter Text

There were two things Tim Bradford was now absolutely certain about. 

First, his marriage was over. 

Of course, he’d known that for a while. He’d signed divorce papers nearly two years ago under that same assumption. And though it had hurt him to do so at the time he’d signed them, this time he knew that it was for the best. There was no future for him and Isabel.

After their brief kiss, he’d pushed her off him gently without any explanation. Isabel had been confused (rightly so), but he knew that she understood what it meant. That’s why she didn’t press on it when he merely said a brief goodnight to her and he led Kojo inside to his bedroom, turning in for the night. He didn’t run into her in the morning, either.

At the end of the day, they’d grown as individuals and away from each other as a pair. There was no world in which a marriage between them would work anymore. 

He’d been an idiot to think anything otherwise.

And that fact relates to the second thing Tim was absolutely positive of: he’d messed things up with Lucy very, very badly. And he needed to make them right again. Or, at least, he would try.

Which led to this moment. The morning after his failed date with Isabel, he arrived at the station early to change and complete any lingering paperwork that could impede his plans to speak to Lucy before shift. He was about to grab her when she walked into the precinct, but Smitty decided that was the perfect time to pester Tim about upcoming vacation time. 

And if there was one thing that Quigley Smitty was passionate about, it was vacation time.

Soon enough, Tim realized he missed his window when he saw Lucy walk into the roll call room with a new cup of coffee in her hand that Nolan extended to her.

“Alright, everyone settle down.” Smitty reluctantly walked away from Tim when Grey came into the roll call room, beginning the day’s session. Grey turned his body to face Nolan in the third row. “Let’s start with a congratulations to Officer Nolan, who has somehow managed to go from the oldest rookie in the LAPD to the oldest Training Officer in the LAPD.” The room erupted in applause, with Lucy obviously clapping the loudest next to her friend. Nolan smiled at everyone, a humble expression on his features.

Grey continued, “Lucky for you, we already have a rookie in need of training. And I’m sure he’ll be happy for a break from Sergeant Bradford.”

Wade shot Tim a knowing look behind his shoulder, and Tim didn’t miss the chuckles of agreement around the room. He couldn’t help the scowl that came on his face at the insinuation, but it only earned the Watch Commander to laugh. 

“That means, Chen—you’re back with Bradford,” Grey announced as he turned back around. Tim’s eyes caught Lucy’s as they both stiffened, but they barely had time to react before Grey launched into the task items for the day. Apparently, the Detectives caught wind of an organized human trafficking ring moving bases to LA, and all officers were to be on the look out for suspicious activity that could relate to it. Which inevitably meant that it would be a busy day for them all. 

Tim found Lucy after roll call hanging outside the room, presumably giving one last pep talk to Nolan before he headed out with Thorsen. The new T.O. took off in the direction of the gear counter with Aaron as Lucy turned around to face Tim. 

“Ready?” Lucy prompted him, the words accompanied with a polite, yet still distant smile. He knew the difference between that one and her real one by the back of his hand and realized he was in for a longer conversation than he thought.

Tim sucked in a breath, then decided to offer, “You know, I can ask Grey to assign you to someone else today. If…if you want.” 

“And why would I want that?” Lucy pursed her lips while giving him a blank stare, but it only created the perfect opportunity for a signature Bradford grimace. She fought an eye roll before finally answering. “It’s fine, Tim. I’m fine to ride with you. Unless you would rather we not.” 

He paused. It probably wasn’t the best idea to ride with her, considering everything. But the thought of not riding was somehow more painful.

So, Tim shook his head. “No. No, I’m fine if we ride together.” 

“Okay, then.” 

“Okay, then,” he echoed, rocking on his heels. In that moment, Tim made the decision to postpone the conversation he wanted to have with Lucy until after their shift. The responsible—yet, frustrating—thing to do. “Let’s go.” 

They walked over to the kit counter together without another word, the awkwardness biting the air between them. After their body cameras were fitted onto their uniforms, they turned around and made conversation with the kit room attendants as the war bags were grabbed. 

Tim was in the middle of signing out their gear when he heard a voice beside him. 

"Hey Bradford," Chris greeted as he approached the two officers. Tim looked up and forced a smile to the young ADA, but quickly resumed his actions on the sign-out sheet so they could get going. Lucy graciously accepted the war bags from the officers in the kit room as Chris continued, turning to her hesitantly, "Hi, Lucy."

Lucy cleared her throat, stiffening when she faced him. "Hi, Chris." 

"I...um..." Chris moved around so he was standing decidedly closer now, body nearly pressed up against Lucy's as he lowered his voice. "I had a good time last night." 

Tim's ears burned upon overhearing those words, which were said quietly but not too quiet for him not to hear. He noticed Lucy's hand tap the counter beside his clipboard in the way that she usually did when she was nervous about something. Taken together with the insinuating tone Chris was using and the proximity that Tim noticed immediately upon resettling his eyes upward, he felt a hot crash of emotion suddenly settle into his stomach as his jaw clenched involuntarily.

"M-Me too," Lucy admitted, her smile stretching a little wider. It was enough to make Tim’s already uneasy stomach drop, an ill feeling washing over him. Then, she shook it off and hastily added, "Look, we should—"

"Talk? Yeah, we should. Do you want to come over to my place tomorrow for dinner? We could talk then," he suggested. 

Lucy was about to object as she fidgeted in her space, trying to come up with an appropriate reply. Then, she heard Tim's sharp breath from behind her and remembered, suddenly, that he was standing there. She tried not to turn around, worried that whatever emotion she would find on his face would have her over-analyzing the entire situation. And she'd already done enough of that. 

She opened her mouth to respond, but before she could, Chris's phone rang sharply from his pocket. Because of this, he didn't give her a chance to reply. Instead, he told her that he'd text her a time later and, in a flash, took off in the opposite direction. Lucy’s eyes followed his exit while she slung the war bag over her shoulder. 

It didn’t even register that Tim had frozen in place ever since Chris offered the invitation for dinner. His eyes hardened as he stared after the ADA, in complete shock and disbelief at what just transpired. It wasn’t hard to guess from the content of their conversation what happened. 

He turned back just in time to catch Lucy’s gaze as she accepted the shotgun from the kit room attendant. When their eyes met, she could’ve sworn she saw his blue orbs glisten over with sadness. She ignored that assumption, chalking it up to the fluorescent lights playing tricks in her mind. In fact, she ignored every urge inside of her to press him on any sort of display of his emotion and instead jerked her chin towards the garage.

“Meet you at the shop,” she said before brushing past him. He didn’t even attempt a response, eyes settling to the floor as she walked away.

Tim wasn’t completely aware how long had passed before he heard the word “Sergeant” being called out to him, and realized it was the kit room attendant who was waiting expectantly with a war bag and shotgun in hand. 

Chris and Lucy spent the night together. 

The insinuation was obvious. More than that, it was abundantly clear that Chris wanted to get back together. And if Lucy’s reaction was any indication—she did, too.

The thought made both his blood boil and his heart break in the span of a singular breath.

“So…how was your night?” 

Lucy was, of course, the one to finally break the silence between them at last, old habits and morbid curiosity taking precedence over the petty desire to give Tim the silent treatment. She wasn’t sure what exactly possessed her to think that asking about his night was the natural segue into a normal conversation with him, given that they both were painfully aware of the awkwardness of the situation. 

She peeked at him from the side, surveying his reaction to her question. He was as stoic as usual, eyes laser-focused on the road.

“Fine,” Tim answered flatly. He missed the slight huff in her breath when the response failed to give her the indication she desired, but he managed to sneak a look at her as she tucked a piece of hair behind her ear nervously. Tim returned his eyes to the road, straightened in his seat, and coughed out, “And yours?” 

“Fine,” she mused, voice a little higher-pitched than normal.

He successfully repressed a snort, and made a superhuman attempt to keep his voice neutral as he reminded, “From what you said to Chris earlier, it sounded like your night was more than ‘fine’.” 

Lucy cut her eyes to him, alarmed, and scoffed. “I mean, yeah, it was fine. Meaning, good. A-Are you saying your night wasn’t good?” 

Her heart stammered in her chest, worried the question started the process of opening a can of worms. She wasn’t sure she could handle Tim telling her about having sex with Isabel—if that’s what happened, anyway—or anything else of that sort.

“Probably not as good as yours,” Tim muttered sourly. The second the reply left his mouth, he instantly regretted it. He could hear the sharp intake of her breath at his accusatory tone, a growl low in her throat.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing.”

Now his voice was high-pitched. He knew Lucy was rolling her eyes when she turned away from him, and he really contemplated apologizing to her for the outburst. It was inappropriate, to say the least. Yet, the overwhelmingly powerful, sick feeling in his stomach that he hadn’t been able to shake since earlier in the morning plagued him again as silence filled the air in the shop again.

That was until Tim suddenly found himself asking aloud, “Are you and Chris getting back together?” 

Lucy whipped her head back around, mouth dropping open and eyes stretching wide. 

“What?” 

“It’s a logical question, Chen.” He shrugged in an act of nonchalance, yet his jaw was clenched tightly. “I mean, you’re going to his house for dinner tomorrow night. And it’s obvious that he wants to get back together with you.” 

He tried to glance over and gauge her reaction to his insinuation, but her head was facing the window again. Tim did notice, however, that she was holding her hands tightly in her lap with tension that matched his own. 

Lucy licked her lips as she prepared an answer, wiping off the excess wetness from her mouth. She breathed slowly, attempting to control the fire that burned inside of her. 

On one hand, she was angry that he thought he had any right to ask about the status of her relationship with Chris, given the circumstances. 

On the other, though, she was pleased to know that it was clearly bothering him. It was petty, but she didn’t care. 

“Okay, first of all…I didn’t exactly say yes to dinner,” she pointed out, though he didn’t seem convinced. “Second of all, I don’t see how it’s ‘obvious’ that he wants to get back together with me, or that I would even want to get back together with him.” At this, Lucy thought she saw his body relax in the slightest. She wondered what that meant, but didn’t get the chance to analyze it before her brain finished the response. “And third of all, it’s absolutely none of your business whether or not Chris and I are getting back together.” 

Tim moved to argue at that, though he was struggling with what to reply with. He wouldn’t admit it aloud, but Lucy was right. Technically, it wasn’t his business what kind of relationship she had with Chris. Regardless of that, he wanted it to be his business; and he wished she would understand that. 

But that was a conversation they shouldn’t be having while on shift…in the shop, surrounded by cameras recording their every interaction. They wouldn’t be reviewed unless they needed to be, but it wasn’t worth the risk.

He’d settled on a non-committal hum, about to change the subject when dispatch came over the radio. Lucy answered it swiftly, and they ultimately went back to silence after.

Tim hadn’t planned on bringing Chris up again. He really, really hadn’t. But when he walked out of Grey’s office after he and Lucy returned to the station for the end of shift debrief, that all changed. 

Across the bullpen, there he was. Fucking Chris Sanford.

He brushed Lucy’s arm with a lovesick smile on his face, standing decidedly too close to her while she leaned against her desk. She was giving him that giddy smile that he knew was her go-to move when she was talking to a man she found attractive. Jealousy rippled through him so hard, he could feel his knuckles whiten painfully as he clenched his hand around his duty belt. 

Chris touched Lucy’s arm one more time before heading off in the other direction. She stared after, still smiling, then turned and sat down at the desk, sliding a stack of paperwork in front of her.

And though Tim Bradford was not a man who ever let emotions get the best of him, there was something different about this. He couldn’t contain himself. 

He marched up to her desk, quietly seething. Conjuring his best T.O. voice, he barked down at her, “Can we talk?” 

“We’ve been doing a lot of that lately," Lucy sighed. "It’s out of character for you, don’t you think?”

“I’m serious.” 

“Do we have to? I have paperwork."

“Yes,” Tim snapped, reaching the end of his patience with her quips. Lucy peered up at him and sighed exasperatedly. “It’s important. The paperwork can wait.” 

She noticed his voice went softer at the end. Almost like a plea, but without the actual words. It didn’t matter, anyways. Lucy would eventually do what he asked, not because he was her superior or because he was her training officer, but because she wanted to.

They ended up in an empty interrogation viewing room. No cameras, prying eyes, or opportunistic ears. He opened the door for her to walk through first, then shut it behind him. Just them.

“So,” Lucy shrugged, breathing out a quiet exhale in an attempt to avoid his gaze, “what do you want to talk about?” 

“I know it’s none of my business whether you decide to get back together with Chris, but…come on, Lucy.” He scoffed, but it only made her tense with anger. “You broke up with him for a reason, remember?” 

“Yeah, I remember. Do you?” 

“Of course I do.” 

“Well, then, you would know better than anyone that the reason I broke up with him no longer exists,” she spat through gritted teeth. A hurt expression flashed on his features, but she was too angry to fully commit to caring about it. It was bad enough that things had gotten so messed up between them because of Isabel’s reappearance, but now he had the audacity to judge her? About things that he didn’t fully comprehend, no less? 

“Look,” Tim began slowly, swallowing down a hard lump in his throat. The act allowed him to harden his voice free of emotion. “I get that things have been complicated since Isabel came back. Really, I do. And I know that I…hurt you. I wish I could take that back.” 

Lucy involuntarily softened at his earnest statement, the sincerity of his apologetic tone obvious. She allowed herself to look into his eyes, noticing that he was staring at her with a familiar gleam of adoration. It made her heart flutter with hope and her skin tingle with desire. For a single moment, she considered forgiving him. Or, at the very least, she contemplated telling him the truth.

Then, he ruined it.

“But that’s no reason to jump back into bed with your ex-boyfriend—” 

“I’m sorry!” Lucy interrupted him, her voice now raised to a shout. Luckily for her, the interrogation viewing room was sound-proof. Tim hid a flinch by crossing his arms over his chest tightly, bracing for the impact of her wrath. “You think I slept with Chris because of what's going on with you and Isabel?"

"Well...yeah, I guess." When he said it aloud, he realized how stupid it sounded. He shook his head free of the thought and continued his protest. "It's not about that, though. It's about the fact that it's with Chris—"

"Unbelievable! Now you're trying to tell me who I can and can't spend time with?” 

“That's not what I'm doing." 

"Well, it sure seems like it."

"I just…” Lucy snorted in disbelief while he searched for words. It ended up coming out as a jumbled mess. “I just think you’re making a mistake!” 

Silence crashed upon them, the words hanging in the air bitterly. Tim searched her eyes desperately, hoping she would understand what he meant. Instead, her brown orbs were glazed over with anger that was seconds away from being unleashed.

He was right about one thing, she thought. He hurt her. Maybe not intentionally, but indirectly. It was only logical for her to want to hurt him, too.

“You’re kidding me, right?" Lucy growled, clenching her fists at her sides. "You have no right to say that to me, Tim! Your ex-addict wife shows up randomly to win you back and somehow I’m the one who’s made a mistake going back to the guy with whom I was in a stable, committed relationship with not even a week ago?”

“He’s not the right guy for you, Lucy.” 

“Yeah, then who is?”

Tim opened his mouth to answer the challenge, but then snapped it shut quickly. He knew the answer, but saying it aloud was a different story. The glint of her police officer badge reminded him that they were at work, he was her former Training Officer, her current boss, and to top it all off he had a wife at home. A dead marriage, sure, but still a marriage on paper. 

So, it was probably not the best idea to answer that question. But surely she had to know the answer to it already.

If she did know, she didn’t let on. Instead, she barreled on, voice rough and low. “It’s none of your business whether or not I slept with Chris. It’s none of your business whether or not I get back together with him.” 

“How can you say that?” Tim snapped, taking a half step closer to her. “After everything that happened while we were undercover—” 

“Nothing happened, Tim!” she shouted suddenly. This time, he failed miserably at concealing his wounded reaction, but Lucy didn't comment on it. Instead, she calmed herself down enough so that she could speak slowly, articulating her point with utmost clarity. “It was a fake relationship. You know what was real, though? You, coming back and finding out you were still married to Isabel and then not telling me about it. You, going out on a date with Isabel—that was all real.”

“If you would just listen to me—” 

“No. No, I don’t want to listen to you anymore.” 

Lucy made a move to leave, brushing past his shoulder as she reached for the door to leave the viewing room. Instead, she felt his hand catch her wrist as she stepped around him. 

“Wait! Wait,” he begged, turning around to face her without releasing her wrist. Lucy obliged, but turned her cheek away. It was for a dual purpose—one, it stopped him from noticing the tears that burned in her eyes; and two, it prolonged her act of defiance. 

It didn’t last very long. Like a moth to a flame, she found his gaze and was quickly lost. It changed everything. 

They were too close now, the heat of his body covering hers. His mouth was just inches away by default. His hand drifted from her wrist up her arm slowly, leaving a trail of fire everywhere they touched. Her fingers found the tight fit of his uniform shirt and she hated herself just a little bit for being so weak. She hated him for being so damn hot in the uniform that she wasn’t able to resist the opportunity to touch him through it. 

Their foreheads were touching. The taste of each other’s mouths was a distant memory about to be unearthed. 

And suddenly, the pressure in the air burst. It caused them both to lean forward ever so slightly, connecting their mouths with a twin sigh. It started out slow, a chaste kiss where they didn’t pull away. And then her hand tightened on his shirt, which resulted in his strong hand moving to slide under her jaw for more leverage. She opened her mouth at the same time he slid his tongue against her lower lip. 

They breathed simultaneously as their mouths opened to one another and the kiss deepened. Half a step back and Lucy was pressed completely against the door now, aiding her as she tilted her head back and opened herself up to him more. Tim took the invitation without delay, softly groaning into her while he pressed his body closer and kissed her harder.

It was everything his kiss with Isabel should've been, he thought. But it wasn't, because Isabel wasn't Lucy. And though he realized that the night before, kissing Lucy now made everything click into place. 

It was everything that should’ve happened days ago, she thought. Delayed, thanks to external forces. And when they pulled away for only a split moment to catch their breath, that painful reminder suddenly hit Lucy.

External forces. Like ex-wives and ex-boyfriends.

He moved to kiss her again and she gasped at the bruising force. Although she wanted to match the pace, she slid her hands up the thick build of his chest and somehow mustered the inhuman strength to push him off and break their embrace.

Tim obeyed immediately, but only pulled away far enough to rest his forehead against hers. 

“Tim, I can’t,” she whispered brokenly through labored breaths. 

“Lucy…”

“No,” she asserted, a harder edge to her tone. He stepped back instantly when she put the slightest pressure on his chest, moving out of her space. She opened her eyes to find him staring at her, conflict raging behind his gaze. But there was still an anger in her chest from earlier as she looked at him. 

This wasn't fair. Not after everything that happened. He made a choice, and he would have to live with it now.

Through swollen lips, she continued without giving him a chance to redeem himself.

“It’s too late.” Lucy turned around and opened the door, repeating the phrase her breath as if to convince herself, too. “It’s too late.” 

Chapter Text

The next day, Lucy wasn’t anywhere to be seen.

He found out from Sergeant Grey in the morning that she was being loaned out to the Detectives for a short undercover assignment. After the success of her last one, it was no surprise to Tim that she would be asked to take on more responsibility in that arena. It was probably only a matter of time before she moved into a more permanent undercover role, which simultaneously made Tim proud and scared the shit out of him. 

It wasn’t odd for the Watch Commander to mention an absence of an officer on his patrol, but little did Grey know, the mere mention of Lucy made Tim’s heart twist in guilt and agony. 

He shouldn’t have kissed her in the interrogation viewing room. In hindsight, he shouldn’t have done a lot of things—accusing her of jumping back into bed with Chris being a big one. The rational side of him knew that, and if it were anyone else, he was sure he would’ve been able to control himself. 

But this wasn’t just anyone else, it was Lucy. 

His heartbreak had turned into jealousy. Which had turned into rage. Which had turned into lust. He took advantage of the situation and she had every right to want to avoid him. 

“Did you decide on what you’re doing with Isabel?” Sergeant Grey asked casually. The question finally snapped Tim out of his self-loathing spiral, thankfully. He nodded and crossed his arms over his chest in preparation to respond.

“Yeah. We’re meeting with the lawyers this evening to update our divorce settlement. It’ll take them a week or so to get the paperwork prepared, then we’ll go down to the courthouse and sign everything in person.” 

“No room for more clerical errors,” Grey chuckled. Tim scowled, not appreciative of the mockery. It only made his boss laugh harder. “Well, I’m glad you worked it out. Though, I can’t say I’m surprised with your decision.” 

He cocked his head, curious. “What do you mean, sir?” 

“Well…” The superior officer shrugged, leaning back in his desk chair. “Let’s just say, you’ve certainly grown a lot since what happened with Isabel. Not just in your career, but as a person, too. You used to take things a lot more seriously.” 

“I still take things seriously,” he protested, as if Grey was insulting the very nature of his being. “That’s a bad thing?” 

“Not at all. But there’s a balance, and I think you’ve finally found it.” Tim frowned, wondering what that meant, but Grey spoke quickly. “Relax. It’s a good thing, Bradford.” 

Tim hummed in agreement, but said no more. He wasn’t going to argue, because he knew deep down somewhere that Grey was right.

With the conversation pretty much ended and roll call quickly approaching, Tim moved towards the door of Grey’s office.

“Oh!” Grey exclaimed, causing Tim to halt and turn around. “I forgot to mention, we’re finally getting a new rookie tomorrow, which means that Officer Nolan will need to start on their training. Thorsen’s only got a few months left and we're down a T.O. since Harper went on maternity leave. You think you can split coverage of Thorsen’s training with Smitty?” 

It didn’t escape Tim what the implications of that request would be. He would probably be riding with Thorsen or solo from now on—more often with Thorsen than not, considering Smitty’s known aversion to training rookies. Which meant that he and Chen would hardly ride together from now until the end of Thorsen’s training, if ever. 

He felt his pulse spike in panic at the thought of not riding next to Lucy every day for the next few months. Not hearing her recount useless details of her day in an attempt to fill the silence. Not having someone to talk so intimately with. 

Yet, he couldn’t very well say no. And maybe, after everything that happened between them, this was…a good thing?

“U-Uh, sure,” Tim stuttered, nodding. Grey nodded back, content with the affirmation. “Chen will need to be reassigned, then.” 

“For now,” Wade confirmed, humming in agreement. And though Tim knew that would be his answer, it didn’t hurt any less than he thought it would.

“So, let me get this straight…” 

Tim watched as Angela grabbed two beers from her fridge and walked over to her couch, kindly extending one to him. He graciously accepted and braced for her reaction as she moved the baby monitor on the table slightly so she could set her beverage down, turning to face him. 

“A goddamn law clerk forgot to send your divorce paperwork to a judge—meaning that you’ve unknowingly still been legally married—Isabel shows up to your house and tells you she wants you back, you decided to get divorced again, and you’re just telling me about all this now?” The slight anger mixed with annoyance in her tone was chilling.

He sipped his beer sheepishly and muttered, “Yeah, pretty much.” 

She cursed in Spanish as she swatted her hand out, hitting his arm. He wanted to believe she meant it to be playful, but it really stung. 

“Ow!” Tim yelped as he leaned forward and set his beer down before he spilled it everywhere. Lopez grabbed hers, sitting back with a shrug.

“Yeah, well, you deserved it.” 

“Thanks,” he deadpanned, glowering at her while rubbing the store spot on his arm. She rolled her eyes at his dramatics, taking a sip of the cold beer. A silence passed, and then Tim’s entire body deflated as he muttered, “As if I wasn’t already having a bad week.” 

She watched him turn his head to hide the pain in his eyes. Lopez softened immediately with a sigh. “Sorry. I know this probably hasn’t been the easiest for you.”

“It hasn’t been,” he agreed. He was leaning on his elbows, propped up on his knees, staring at a picture on Lopez’s mantle of Angela, Wes, and Jack on the day they brought their son home from the hospital. “I wasn’t…prepared to be faced with a decision like that.” 

“I don’t think anyone would be. And, hell, you and Isabel getting back together? Picking up where you left off? There was a time when that was all you wanted. It must’ve been hard for you to make that decision.”

Tim turned his head to meet Lopez’s gaze as she nodded, a quiet understanding. He knew that she, of all people, would get the turmoil he’d had to face. It didn’t make hiding his personal problems from his best friend excusable, but there was, nevertheless, a reason for all the drama. 

“For the record, though, you made the right choice,” she added. 

“I know.” Tim reached forward to sip his beer, then sat back on the couch with a shrug. “When we went out to dinner…sure, it was nice to reminisce and all. But it just didn’t feel…right. It wasn’t the same.” 

Lopez snorted. “Of course it wasn’t the same. It’s different now—you’re different.”

“Grey said the same thing.” Tim rolled his eyes. “Do I need to start giving out less orange slices at the station? You know, if people aren’t mildly afraid of me at all times, I’m not doing my job right.”

“Oh, shut up,” she snickered, though she didn’t miss the signature Tim Bradford scowl he was currently giving her to try and prove his point. “You may talk a big game, but deep down we both know you’ve always been a softie.” 

“Of course you would say that. You don’t report to me, so I can be nice to you,” he explained, though this made her stare at him pointedly, not buying the excuse. Tim moved on to avoid any more daggers from her eyes. “Have I really changed that much?” 

“You’re way less grouchy.”

“I was never grouchy.” 

“Remember the break room incident of 2017?” 

“We promised we would never speak of that again.”

Lopez hummed in place of an apology, though the smile on her lips canceled out the gesture. He grimaced while she shrugged, “I’m just saying. You have to admit that in the past two years, you’ve dialed it down a lot. You’ve changed, like it or not.”

He acknowledged her honest words with a different-pitched hum, sipping his beer as he stared in thought at the coffee table in front of them. Of course, he’d thought about all these things to himself before when he was making the choice to call things off with Isabel, but it was good to finally hear confirmation from a third party that it was the right call. 

He wondered, though, whether he had changed that much since parting with Isabel. Sometimes he felt like the same person. Other times, he felt unrecognizable. He never thought too much into it, hating the psycho-analysis of it all. 

“And we both know what—or, shall I say who— contributed to that change.” Tim turned to Lopez as she continued cautiously, throwing her hands out in an insinuating gesture. He shrugged, confused, and she returned a frustrated gaze at him before finally giving in, groaning, “A certain hotshot former rookie, perhaps?” 

He paused, mouth slightly parted open in defense. “You think I’ve changed because of Lucy?” 

“Duh.” Lopez grinned knowingly. Tim scoffed at how much his friend was enjoying this conversation. “Come on, even you have to admit that her absurd sunshine-y personality definitely brightened up the constant clouds of doom and gloom you had going on when you started training her.” 

He wanted to deny it, but he knew she was right. He’d acknowledged a long time ago that Lucy brought a particular brand of sunshine into his life, one that may have opened himself up to new horizons. 

“Yeah,” he agreed, a ghost of a smile on his lips. Then, Tim went quiet in thought as memories flooded him. The brief flash of anger in her eyes that he noticed in the storage room before he kissed. The way her hand pressed at his chest to push him away. The brokenness in her voice when she told him that it was too late.

Angela surveyed him, noticing the thoughtful contemplation. She allowed him a few moments of peace before she finally asked the question that had been on her mind since Tim called asking to come over after his meeting with the lawyers.

“Have you two spoken about the kiss since the undercover op?” 

She knew, of course. He’d told Angela about it the morning they went on the operation, in desperate need of someone to digest with. But she obviously hadn't gotten any updates since, with everything that happened. Telling Lopez about Lucy was a decision he’d come to regret, given the playful smile on her lips as she waited in eager anticipation to her question.

“There…may have been conversations,” Tim admitted. Angela raised an eyebrow knowingly, so he reluctantly explained. “But with Isabel in the way, it got…complicated.” 

Angela hesitated cautiously. “How complicated?” 

Tim maintained a convincing begrudging front as he launched into the entire story, summarizing to Lopez how he’d been getting ready to meet with Lucy for dinner the night that Isabel appeared. He told her about the cancellation text, the next day at the station when Isabel showed up, and ended with how he went on the date with Isabel after Lucy told him to.

When he finished (albeit omitting the most recent developments), he felt a sharp sting in his upper arm from Lopez’s hand slapping him again.

“Ow! What was that for?” 

“You really need me to explain? You’re a moron!” 

"Yeah, okay, I know." Tim sighed defeatedly as Lopez continued to stare in disbelief. "I wish I could go back in time and change how I handled it. I do.” 

“Well, unfortunately for you, none of my Abuela’s curses involve time travel,” Angela bit. He rolled his eyes at the quip before she continued, “So, what are you gonna do instead?” 

“Nothing. Lucy wants nothing to do with me now and I have to respect that,” replied Tim, tapping his fingers on the glass of the beer in his hand. Lopez surveyed him in wait, knowing that there was more he wasn’t saying. Though he tried to nervously avoid her expectant gaze, eventually he gave in and continued, muttering, “She’s probably getting back together with Chris.” 

“What makes you think that?”

He told her the rest of the story.

When she pulled her hand back and slapped Tim across the arm again, this time it was even harder. He was seriously starting to consider bringing a riot shield every time he came over to Lopez’s house at this rate.

“Ow!” Tim shouted again, hardening his eyes at her. “Seriously?” 

Lopez gritted out angrily, “Whether or not Lucy slept with Chris is absolutely none of your business! I cannot believe you judged her like that!” She cursed at him in Spanish again, and he winced, very clearly understanding the point she was trying to get across.

“I know! I know, okay? Trust me, I already feel like an ass about it.” His shoulders slumped as he ran a hand over his face and pinched the bridge of his nose in exasperation. “I-I didn’t mean to, I just…I just…I don’t know. I can’t stand the thought of her being with him,” Tim forced out through a clenched jaw, hissing the words through his teeth. 

Even the thought that Lucy was at Chris’s right now having dinner, kissing her and touching her the way that Tim wanted to—did not forge a desirable feeling inside him. He remembered the way they kissed in the interrogation viewing room and he felt the rush of desire come over him again. He wanted Lucy so badly, he wasn’t sure that he could ever get over it. If he ever wanted to.

“Lucy is a grown woman, Tim,” Angela chided. “She can make her own decisions. You two aren’t in a relationship, so she can do whatever she wants with whoever she wants. Being jealous does not give you an excuse.” 

Tim nodded firmly, repeating the sentiments in his own words so she could tell he understood. As he did so, Angela could see the sincerity in his eyes. He knew he screwed up. She was satisfied enough that she’d gotten her point across that she didn’t feel the need to slap his arm again or give him any more lectures. Instead, she leaned back waited for him to process his thoughts.

After a moment, he resumed, “I…don’t know what to do.”

The sympathy returned in her gaze again, and he felt a slight bit of comfort when Lopez reached forward and laid a hand on his injured arm softly.

“Give her time,” she answered. He looked up at her, eyes hopeful. She gave him a reassuring nod in reply, as if to say: trust me. 

Tim was about to change the subject and ask her about Wesley when the baby monitor suddenly went off. Angela excused herself and went into Jack’s room to handle the situation while Tim waited in the living room, thinking to himself.

Time. 

It was both the most obvious solution and the most painful one. 

Tim’s phone started to buzz and chime in his pocket. As he moved to pull it out, an overwhelming feeling of hope overcame him as he thought about the fact that it could be Lucy calling. 

He wanted so badly for it to be her, even though he knew that was improbable. She’d made herself clear. 

The cell phone vibrated in his hand as he looked at the contact, knotting his eyebrows together in confusion when he read the unexpected name. 

“Tamara?”

“Hey, Tim.” Her voice was shaky, uneasy, and it had his heart stammering in his chest immediately. Tim’s worst-case scenario brain kicked into overdrive immediately as he stiffened and leaned forward on the couch.

“What’s wrong? Are you okay? I-Is Lucy okay?” 

“Slow down, I’m fine. Lucy’s fine, I think.” He was confused about that last part, but he was also more focused on the way Tamara was slurring her words. He was about to ask for more explanation when she continued. “Don’t freak out, but…I need your help.” 

Tamara flicked on the light to Lucy’s apartment as she and Tim walked inside. The cold air of the empty unit hit them as Tim shut the door behind him, silently watching while Tamara slipped her coat off her body with a sigh. 

“I’m gonna take my makeup off and go to bed,” she informed, moving to hang the coat on the rack next to the door. He nodded and gestured towards the fridge. 

“You should take some water with you. It’ll help with the hangover in the morning.” 

“If I didn’t know any better, I would say you’re speaking from experience,” Tamara teased, though she had already made her way to the fridge in the corner. He rolled his eyes at the quip as he set her bag down on the counter. 

Tamara’d called him earlier from a frat party on her campus. She was slightly drunk and Lucy wasn’t answering her phone calls, either because she was still on the undercover assignment she’d been stolen away from patrol for or because she was on a date with Chris. Tamara didn’t say anything to him about which option was more likely, and he didn’t ask. As much as it pained him to think about Chris and Lucy on another date, he had to put it out of his mind so he could help Lucy’s puppy. 

Tamara wasn’t in trouble, per se, but her friend decided it would be a good idea to try a new TikTok challenge while about seven beers deep and ended up hurting her ankle on her third try. Her friend was so drunk it would be impossible to find an Uber driver who would take the risk of having her in their taxi, and Tamara knew better than to drive herself. Her friend also refused to allow Tamara to call their overly strict conservative parents, so it left her with slim options. 

Tim was already in his car when Tamara gave him the address to the fraternity house. When he arrived, he was acutely aware of a plethora of underage drinking violations. However, she’d made him promise before coming to get her that he would come as Tim (her friend) and not Sergeant Bradford; therefore, he made no arrests that evening. It was the only way he could get her location without having to pull a warrant for her phone records. 

But it was an easy decision to make, in the end. He would never admit it aloud, but he would always be there when Tamara called. 

She seemed to be slightly worried that he would go into a strange Dad-like mode in the car ride home after they dropped the friend off at her house, but Tim stayed mostly quiet. Though he was slightly concerned about her choices in the evening, he knew Tamara had a good head on her shoulders. She drank a non-excessive amount and didn’t really get herself into much trouble. If not for her bad decision-making friend, she probably would’ve crashed at her friend’s place on campus and it would’ve just been a normal night out.

“Thanks for coming, Tim. Really,” Tamara murmured sincerely as she walked over towards where he was standing at the edge of the counter, nearer to her bedroom door. Tim nodded. 

“Of course. Do you want me to stay until Lucy gets home?” 

She shook her head. “I’m fine, thanks.” He nodded again and slipped his hands into his pockets, preparing to leave. Before he was able to take even one step, she continued suddenly. “I-I mean, you can stay until Lucy gets home. If you want.” 

Tim hesitated. He did want that. He wanted to stay until Lucy got home, to talk to her about his day, to ask about hers. Twenty-four hours without so much as a text was the longest they’d gone without communicating, and it was starting to break him.

But he knew that Lucy didn't want to see him right now. Her whisper from earlier echoed in his head. It's too late. 

“No, I’d better go,” Tim replied eventually, then gestured to the very slight remnants of vomit that he had on the bottom of his shirt from when he was helping Tamara’s friend get into his truck. “I need to wash this out and probably take three showers to get the smell out of my brain.” 

Tamara sucked in a hesitant breath, though she looked like she was fighting back a laugh. “Yeah…err, sorry about that.” 

“Uh huh. At least it didn’t happen in my truck. That,  I don’t think I could forgive you for.” 

“Sure,” Tamara scoffed in disbelief, then began to walk towards her room. “Night, Tim.” 

He nodded wordlessly as a goodbye as she disappeared behind her door, softly closing it behind her. Just as Tim started to leave, though, he realized that the mention of the vomit on his shirt made the scent grow stronger in his nose. With a grumbled sigh, he moved into the kitchen and grabbed a paper towel by the sink, dampening it first before pressing it to the ruined fabric. The water seemed to rinse away some of the odor, but he knew it was only temporary. 

Tim threw the paper towel away and wiped his wet hands on his jeans quickly before finally deciding to head out. He opened the front door to leave, only to be stopped when he saw Lucy standing outside of it already, key in hand. 

She was in plain clothes, her hair down like it always was when she wasn’t on duty. Her eyes were a little tired, her makeup smudged slightly. He didn’t notice all that much, mostly because he was too focused on getting himself to breathe in a normal pattern. 

Lucy tilted her head back to double-check the number next to the apartment door. “So…this is my apartment, then?”

He scoffed, resisting the urge to roll his eyes at her relentless teasing. The sound made Lucy smile slightly as she crossed the threshold, brushing past Tim’s shoulder without touching him. It seemed to disappear once she set her bag on the counter and turned around to him.  

“What are you doing here, Tim?” she asked. The lightness from her joke earlier was gone, causing him to swallow thickly when he remembered the tension between them.

“Tamara called me. She needed a ride home,” he explained. It was the simplest answer, without getting into all the gory details. Lucy cocked an eyebrow, so he added, “You weren’t answering your phone.” 

Lucy sighed heavily, shifting her weight onto one leg. Her gaze immediately softened. “Yeah, my phone died. I usually have a charger in my bag at the station, but I was busy with the Detectives today and didn’t have access to one.”

Tim nodded at her answer, not missing the way it gave him an opportunity to further the conversation. He wanted to ask. He really, really did. But then he remembered Lopez’s pesky words again. Time. Time was the only way to heal the wounds he’d created. 

“It's fine. She’s home safe now, so…” He jerked his thumb back. “I-I’m gonna go.” 

“Another date?” 

He was already turned halfway out the door when she said the question, so softly that she was probably counting on him not hearing it. But he did, of course, and couldn’t help but turn back. 

“No, Lucy.” There was a slight edge to his tone that was harder than it should’ve been. Partly because he was completely dumbfounded at how ridiculous the thought was that he had a date after everything they’d been through. After the agony that he’d so obviously been going through the last twenty-four hours. 

Her eyes snapped up, and Tim noticed the glaze of tears in her eyes. He quickly realized that he’d been too harsh. So, he made a pointed effort to soften his tone as he continued.

“Isabel and I are done. No more dates. It’s...over, for good this time.” 

It was like a weight lifted from his chest when he said it. In all honesty, he probably should’ve told her before things got so complicated in that interrogation viewing room. But did she really think he’d kiss her in that interrogation room and then go back to his ex-wife? He thought she would know better than that by now. 

With the reminder of their stolen moment, all the sensations suddenly rushed back to him. Lips on lips. Breath on breath. How easy would it be to repeat it all if he took a few strides closer to her. 

No, he reminded himself, thinking back to her command at the station. It wasn't what she wanted. 

“Oh,” Lucy whispered. He’d been so wrapped up in his own thoughts that he missed her surprised reaction at his confession. Tim nodded in response and merely watched when she dropped her eyes for a brief moment, then recalibrated herself and cleared her throat. “Well...um, thanks for bringing Tamara home.”

“Of course.” Tim shrugged the gratitude off humbly, a soft smile playing at the corner of his lips. They stared at each other from across the room for an indeterminate amount of time before he felt the sudden urge to overanalyze her appearance, to search for clues that she’d attended the dinner with Chris like she’d said she would. 

But it wasn’t his business. She’d told him that to his face. He had to stop. 

Tim coughed awkwardly as he broke their stare and decided to say something to break the silence. “Before I forget, Nolan’s getting a new rookie tomorrow, so I’ll be finishing Thorsen’s training. You’ll be riding solo for a while.” 

A surprised look crossed her features. He wondered if he was confusing it with disappointment, but before he could think too much into it, he quickly convinced himself that he was seeing things. 

“Oh?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Is...is this your way of getting rid of me as your gofer?” 

She asked the question lightly, but he knew from the slight waver in her voice that there was a bit of hurt mixed into it. He quickly attempted to ease it. 

“No, of course not.” Tim shook his head, scoffing, “It wasn’t even my idea. When Thorsen’s done training, the job’s still yours. If…” He trailed off, his stomach turning in knots at the mere thought of his next words. It was as if someone was punching him in the stomach. “If you still want it.” 

The sentence hung in the air, amplifying the tension by a mile. If you still want it.

There were a million reasons she shouldn’t want it, Tim thought. A few of his own. Though, he wasn’t sure if she shared the same train of thought as he did. 

Lucy didn’t say anything in the end. She nodded quietly and let her eyes drop from his, signaling to him that he wouldn’t get an answer tonight. That was okay, he reminded himself. She needed time. 

“Goodnight,” he said finally, turning towards the door. He opened it, and managed to get half a step out of the threshold before he was called back. 

“Tim?” 

He turned back around immediately, watching as she took a half step closer to him from where she was standing at the counter. She looked around nervously, fidgeting with her hands in the way she always did when she was preparing to say something important. Tim's heart began to beat fast in his chest as he studied her, hoping she would take back what she said in the interrogation room earlier. That she'd reconsidered, and that it wasn't too late for them. He hoped.

Yet, despite the movement she'd made towards him, there was still far too much distance between them for his liking. 

“About Chris—” Lucy started, but at the mention of it, he cut her off instantly. 

“It’s okay. You don’t have to.”

“I know I don’t have to. But I want to.” 

He recognized the words that came out of his own mouth only a few days ago, and decided not to interrupt again. Though, Tim had to ensure that he maintained a neutral expression in preparation for whatever she was about to tell him.

She paused, prolonging his agony. If he didn't know any better, he'd think it was on purpose. Eventually, Lucy took in a shaky breath and continued, “We’re not getting back together. And I-I didn’t sleep with him. I…couldn’t.” 

Now, it was his turn to be speechless.

“Oh.” 

She seemed slightly dejected by his response. He hardly noticed, though, because he was using every ounce of awareness in his body to focus on controlling his actions—to not react to her words and earn another lecture. The relief that washed through his body made him feel slightly guilty, but the serotonin he was getting from the confirmation that Lucy wasn't going back to her ex-boyfriend because of his idiotic mistakes eclipsed any misgivings.

Then, he reminded himself that she was doing him a favor here, telling him what he'd been so desperate to hear. He had to accept it graciously. 

Lucy stared, waiting, as he rocked on his heels for a moment and then shrugged, finally catching her soft gaze. Though he knew what he had to do, somehow the next words that came out of his mouth were more painful than he could have ever imagined. 

“Look, I know I…messed things up here,” he admitted, swallowing back the thickness forming in his throat. She narrowed her eyes at him slightly, uncertain where this was headed. “Maybe it’s a good thing we won’t be riding together for a little while. You know, so we can take some…time.” 

In that moment, Lucy felt like she was being kicked in the chest all over again. This was somehow worse than the night she spent agonizing over whether Tim was going to get back with Isabel, and she didn’t think that was possible. 

Unfortunately for Tim, she was good at hiding her emotions. She licked her lips in thought and gave a quiet nod, gulping down the pre-formed sob in her throat. 

“Uh…yeah,” she whispered softly, agreeing with a nod. “Time is good.” 

He nodded back, though he felt the same kick in his chest that she had. Both of them blissfully unaware they were hurting the other. 

And so, without another word, Tim left.

Chapter Text

Tim had been to the courthouse plenty of times before. Countless times, in fact. For various reasons, such as assisting the Sheriff’s department in guarding dangerous felons during their trial or testifying against criminals he’d arrested. He knew every inch of the space, the floor plans of the courthouse in front of him practically burned into his memory. 

Yet, when he stepped through the doors as a civilian looking to finally dissolve a divorce that should’ve been finalized years ago, it somehow felt like he was there for the first time.

The past week had gone by excruciatingly slowly for Tim. He went to work like normal, but it was anything but. Thorsen started riding with him, and Tim found himself right back into Training Officer mode. Sure, he trusted Harper’s training of the young rookie so far, but if Aaron was going to make it to his graduation day, he had to endure some Tim Tests first. However, they were (admittedly) quite tame. But in all fairness, Tim had a lot on his mind. 

He hadn’t spoken to Lucy since he left her apartment that night. With Thorsen in her place, she had some shift changes and wasn’t always on the same schedule. He’d seen her in roll call one morning and ventured a smile. She even smiled back. 

A fleeting moment, sure, but it was the highlight of his week. 

They’d had to interact once during a domestic dispute call, but it was strictly business. He daringly allowed himself a brief moment to observe her fit the suspect into the back of her shop with all the grace and precision that he remembered. 

The simple truth was that he missed her. So much. 

Tim had to make a pointed effort to constantly remind himself that the time and space between them was for the best. It was the only way for him to repent for his mistakes. 

And eventually, over the course of the very long week that quite honestly felt like an entire month to him, he was starting to learn to live with the ache in his chest. It was still there in the background, but began to dull over time. He accepted that was the best he could do.

Isabel was waiting for him inside the courthouse, sitting on a bench outside the judge’s chambers. She must’ve sensed his presence, as her head came to snap up when he walked closer, meeting his eyes as he approached.

“Hey,” Isabel greeted softly, rising from her seated position. He slipped his hands into his pockets and smiled. 

“Hi.” 

They hadn’t seen each other in a few days, not since the lawyers called them back to the office one evening to discuss complications around Tim’s new house, the largest property asset in their new settlement. Isabel had decided to get a hotel room for the remainder of her stay after they agreed to proceed with the divorce.

“You ready?” she prompted.

“Yep,” Tim replied as they walked over to the door. He held it open for her and grumbled, “This time, we’re getting copies.”

She chuckled. “Agreed.”

Since this was the first time that Tim had seen Judge Morrison since finding out about the clerical error, it was only natural that the official spent nearly five minutes after their initial greetings profusely apologizing for the error. Tim nodded along politely, but snuck a glance at Isabel halfway through to indicate his clear annoyance. He noticed her bite back a snicker as she refused to interject, only worsening his irritation. 

Finally, Judge Morrison directed them to the settlement papers and divorce decree on the conference table in his office. Their lawyers were in the room, too, as well as another law clerk from the judge’s office. Hopefully not the same one that had made the initial error, Tim thought sourly.

“Ladies first,” Morrison began, gesturing from Isabel to the papers on the table. He extended a pen towards her.

Isabel accepted the pen graciously, casting the judge a tiny, appreciative smile. She tapped it in her hand once and then shifted her gaze to Tim, who was standing beside her.

Their eyes connected instantly. A thousand memories flashed in his head at once and he knew the same was happening for her. Some good, some bad, some in between.

They loved each other…once. And they would always have that. It was time to finally let go.

Isabel took a stride closer to the table, then leaned down and signed her name. He was prepared, waiting to take the pen from her hand when she rose up. Tim repeated her actions, not a single hesitation in his hand when he looped his signature on the solid line. 

A few moments after his completed signature, the notary on the other side of the table reached forward to move the papers toward them and completed the rest, signing and stamping where necessary. She then passed them to Judge Morrison, who reviewed it quickly to (ironically) ensure there were no missed signatures. 

Satisfied, Judge Morrison set down the papers. The law clerk to his left passed him the copy of the divorce decree, which had already been pre-prepared before their meeting due to the sensitive nature of the circumstances. Morrison bent down and signed his name. 

When he finished, he looked up at Tim and Isabel with a regretful smile. “Well, then. As of today, you two are officially divorced.”

Tim exhaled a deep breath, relief washing over him when the words left the judge’s mouth. And though he was already aware that he had made the right decision in deciding not to get back together with Isabel, the calm that flooded his chest now was confirmation of that. 

For only a split moment, the ache in his chest stopped. Then, it resumed when he remembered his happiness was still left unfulfilled. 

“We’ll have these filed immediately and copies sent to your lawyers by the end of the day,” the law clerk announced to the room. Tim glowered, swiftly putting his most intimidating look onto his features without faltering. 

“Yeah, you make sure they do,” he growled. He felt Isabel nudge him on the arm with her elbow, but her shoulders shook slightly, which told him she was resisting the urge to laugh. 

“Thank you,” Isabel said to the young clerk, mustering a tight-lipped smile.

The law clerk went scurrying off with the papers, a wide, deer-in-headlights expression on their face as they did so. Mission accomplished, Tim thought. 

And there it was: a complete divorce, at last.

There was a shuffle around the room as the lawyers stayed behind to chat with Judge Morrison while Tim and Isabel exited the room after confirming their presence was no longer needed. It was an uneventful exit, the residual noise from the lawyers in the room contrasting against the absolute silence between the ex-husband and ex-wife as they made their way out of the courthouse. 

Tim held the door open for Isabel as she walked outside into the California sunshine, bright and beaming for the middle of the afternoon. She stepped out of the shadows onto one of the courthouse steps, and Tim followed her path.

“Well, that’s that, then,” Isabel started. Tim nodded, though she couldn’t see it from her position in front of him.

“It’s for the best,” he offered.

“Yeah, it is,” she agreed. They came to a slow pace as they reached one of the middle steps. He slipped his hands into his pockets and shrugged.

“So…when are you going back to Arizona?” 

“Tomorrow, probably. It’s about time to get back to my life, you know?”

“Mmhmm,” he concurred, though the ugly thought dawned on him that the life he was returning to was not the same one that he’d been in before Isabel showed up. As of now, it was worse. And that made his stomach sink, twisting in knots at how wrong it all felt. 

He shook his head free of the intrusive thoughts and looked back up at Isabel when they came to a stop. They were only on the mid-level platform between the two sets of stairs. He forced a smile and squinted in the sunlight. 

“Well, if you ever need anything…” 

“I know,” Isabel cut him off with a grin. He returned it. “Thanks.” 

Tim nodded once, taking one last moment to appreciate the look in Isabel’s eyes. He wasn’t sure he’d ever hear from her again, but he wanted to make sure to leave the door open. She was a part of his life, like it or not. 

He reminded himself at that moment that he would always love Isabel, no matter what. He would always want the best for her, no matter what she put him through. And he knew that she would always feel the same way, despite the fact that they’d become different people with the time they spent apart. 

When he was ready to leave his past behind, he slowly began to move, turning on his heel to begin his descent down the stairs. 

“Hey, Tim?”

He only managed to take two steps toward the next stair before she called out to him. Tim obliged, turning back to see her move forward slightly.

“If I ask you a question…” Her voice faltered slightly, as if she was struggling with how to articulate her thoughts. He cocked an eyebrow and waited while she continued, “...will you answer it honestly?” 

It was a strange question, one that he wasn’t sure about answering. Pursing his lips, he replied, “Depends on the question.” 

Isabel rolled her eyes. “Oh, come on. You can’t indulge your wife for a minute?” 

He frowned, though he could see the hint of a smile on her face that told him she was teasing. Nevertheless, he clarified, “Ex-wife.” 

“Until we get the email with the paperwork copies, let’s assume the title stands.” 

“That’s not how it works.” She shot him an impatient look, so he finally sighed and gave in, like he always did. “Fine, go ahead.” 

“Why did you turn down the North Hollywood position?” 

Tim paused, mouth slightly ajar. Out of all the questions he’d thought she’d ask, that was not one of them. His brain processed it slowly, confused as to why it was even asked. Hadn’t he told her that answer already, it wondered?

He widened his mouth in preparation to give his standard reply, but she interrupted preemptively: “I said honestly.”

Tim’s lips tightened together at her interjection. A moment passed as he quietly searched in her eyes for whatever it was that she was implying. In the end, it didn’t take him long to guess. 

He’d told Isabel a version of the truth when she asked the first time. He refused the North Hollywood position because it wasn’t the right time to leave Mid-Wilshire. There were a plethora of reasons that it wasn’t a good fit. The drive was longer because of traffic. He’d heard the coffee maker was about twenty years old and made a terrible tasting cup. He’d be leaving his friends behind. Lopez. Grey. Hell, even Harper. There were a few assholes in the North Hollywood Detective division, too, that he didn’t particularly want to associate with. 

But there was one reason. The true reason. The one she was asking for now.

“Lucy,” he finally replied, swallowing thickly. Tim heard Isabel’s breath catch slightly, but it was as if she was claiming victory instead of being surprised. “I couldn’t leave her.” 

He let out a breath of his own after the last word left his mouth. Damn, it felt good to admit that. After so long. He couldn’t leave Lucy. He would never have admitted it at the time—how could he, he was dating Lucy's best friend back then—but maybe he always knew, deep down.

Isabel hummed after a moment, looking away into the crowd of LA traffic down at the street briefly before turning back to him. By the look on her face, he knew she was putting the pieces together. 

“You’re in love with her.” 

She wasn’t asking this time.

And the thing is, if Isabel had propositioned that statement to him at any moment before this one, he might have denied it. Maybe made up an excuse about how he was Lucy’s boss or how he was her former Training Officer and it was wildly inappropriate for him to ever cross that line because of their history. In doing so, he would’ve ignored all of the stolen glances they’d shared, the fire he felt in his chest whenever Lucy touched him—let alone when they kissed—or even the heartbreak currently haunting his chest. 

But it was getting exhausting, he determined, having to lie all the time.

So, he nodded. And he didn’t need to say anything else, because he knew Isabel understood. In fact, she watched him amusedly, reminiscent of the way she used to. 

“Hmm. Well, then,” Isabel chuckled. “That’s my bad, I guess. Probably could’ve saved us a lot of time if I’d asked sooner.” 

He breathed out his own laugh, the quiet tension dissipating from the air around them with her joke. Tim lowered his eyes sheepishly, shrugging his shoulders, his hands stuck in his pockets. 

“Probably,” he concurred. When he looked back up, she was smiling. It was contagious, and he felt a smile of his own slide onto his lips. 

The next thing he knew, she stepped forward and wrapped her arms around him. He leaned into the hug, bending down slightly to fit into her embrace. This hug was different from their last goodbye. No tears were shed by either of them. 

“See you around, Tim,” she whispered as she pulled away, squeezing his arm once.

“Yeah,” he breathed and watched as she turned her body to move down the stairs. She only got about five steps down before he called out to her. “Hey!” 

She turned back to face him again, noticing the small smile and quiet huff that came out of his lips as he said, “Thanks.”

“For what?” 

The memory came back to him then, the one thing that Isabel gave him before their first divorce that gave him the peace and strength to walk away. For never giving up on me.

“For fighting for me.”

Perhaps the unfortunate clerical error started as an obnoxious nuisance that came to create a whirlwind of chaos in his delicately balanced life. It brought back old wounds, reopened scars that had long since healed, and resurfaced painful memories. But perhaps it was also the push he needed to finally put his damaged past behind him. He knew now without any uncertainty that they had chosen the right path.

Isabel left with no more words, but mere ghost of a smile on her lips. 

And he remained, standing on the steps of the courthouse he knew so well. The silence surrounded the air, and it suddenly bestowed upon him all the clarity he needed. 

As Lucy walked down the hallway that led to her apartment, she made the determination that the excruciatingly long shift she’d just worked was, perhaps, the worst shift ever. 

There were multiple reasons for this. Though, the main one was that she’d been stuck in an abandoned walk-in freezer for nearly four hours before Thorsen and Smitty finally came to her rescue. An unknown had trapped her inside, and despite her many attempts to pry the heavy metal door open, she’d accepted defeat. 

Her radio had interference and her phone didn’t have any signal. She was all alone with just her thoughts and a graffiti smiley face to keep her company. 

Surprisingly, though, being trapped in a metal box wasn’t the only reason her shift was so miserable. In fact, it had actually started the moment she walked into the roll call room, where Sergeant Grey announced that he was filling in as roving Sergeant, since Bradford had taken a personal day.

She spent most of her shift—yes, even the hours spent in the freezer—trying (and failing) to not focus on the fact that Tim wasn’t at work. 

In fact, Lucy had an entire conversation with the happy face graffiti about it. 

The logical happy face (she named it Wilson, because of course she did) initially tried to calm her nerves, reasoning that Tim likely took the time off to deal with divorce matters, considering his decision not to go back to Isabel. 

Then, she spun out. It was no doubt a product of the insanity she suffered from, thanks to the gift of silence she’d been so graciously granted. Wilson suddenly tried to convince her that Tim had gotten cold feet. That the distance he’d put between them when he told her that they should take some time apart meant that he would eventually go back to Isabel like he probably should’ve. 

She tried to argue with Wilson about it. But, somehow, her brain successfully managed to trick her into believing that Wilson’s irrational rationale was, indeed, the logical explanation for Tim’s absence, even though she knew it wasn’t. 

When she wasn’t talking to Wilson about Tim not being at work or about the space he’d put between them, she started thinking about everything that had happened. The cancellation text. His omission of the truth about Isabel’s return, coupled with his desperation for her to help him figure out whether to take her back or not. The kiss in the interrogation viewing room—she thought about that one a lot in those four hours. The taste of his breath, the touch of his skin. The hurt in his eyes when she’d told him that her being with Chris was none of his business. 

She knew she should be angry at his behavior. She knew he had crossed every line when he found out about Chris coming over that night. 

“It’s not like we’re dating,” Lucy’d reasoned aloud to her inanimate object friend, about three hours in at that time. Wilson seemed skeptical. “I mean, sure. We might’ve made…a date that night. I think it was a date, anyways. Okay, fine, it was a date. At least, I wanted it to be.” 

The smiley face appeared smug. She scoffed and brushed it off. 

“What? It’s not a big deal! It’s basic biology. He’s an…attractive man.” Hot, Wilson corrected in her head. Tim’s Greek-God-level hot, Lucy. “Yes, okay…fine. He’s hot! Stupid hot. But he’s also an asshole, sometimes. Saying I’m too sensitive for undercover work, calling me boot so many times it created literal trauma for me—and don’t even get me started on the Tim Tests! But, then, he’s…sweet, at other times. He’s kind. He’s got a good heart. And he’s not a terrible kisser, either.” 

She’d murmured the last part under her breath, as if the inanimate object wasn’t supposed to hear the words. A chill rippled down her spine as the memories of his kisses suddenly attacked her. The way his hands slid over her body, marking a trail that caused everything to light on fire within her. The way his lips chased hers, as if he couldn’t get enough. She even remembered how that pathetic nervous peck he’d given her in her apartment was, in fact, the most tender kiss she’d ever been given in her entire life. 

Lucy’d apparently forgotten she was in company. She turned back to Wilson, blushing. “Sorry. I got…distracted.” 

Wilson said nothing. The painted smile on its face was knowing. 

“Anyways,” Lucy’d continued sheepishly, “So what if he was...a little bit right about why I decided to text Chris? Does that mean I'm just supposed to forgive him for lying to me about Isabel? Are we just supposed to pick up where we left off? Where did we leave off, anyway? I-I don’t even know how he really feels. I don’t even know how I feel!” 

Wilson’s smile turned sarcastic, taunting her with the answer that she didn’t want to say aloud. She’d studied it with intensity, reconciling the still image in front of her with the feelings of torment in her chest. 

“Yeah,” she whispered finally as she heard Wilson’s inanimate voice in her head. You love him, you idiot. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.” 

And Lucy didn’t know if it was that same insanity caused by her involuntary time-out or a genuine epiphany, but she decided that she didn’t care anymore. What Tim did was wrong. But it didn’t change her feelings for him.

When she was finally set free after those long, agonizing four hours, all Lucy wanted to do was see Tim. But, she remembered quickly that she couldn’t. She wasn’t sure whether he’d implemented the ‘time’ rule for her sake or for his, and she wanted to respect his wishes if it was the latter. 

So, instead, she came home straight after her shift, resigned to spend the night in bed with a carton of non-dairy ice cream while she watched the new episode of Action Heist.  

After unlocking the door to her apartment, she pushed it open, surprised to be greeted by the delicious (yet, very strong) aroma of garlic, onions, and tomatoes. Was Tamara actually making dinner?

Lucy looked into the kitchen and stopped cold. It wasn’t Tamara cooking. 

“Tim?” she asked, voice wavering slightly. He glanced up, stilling his hands as he chopped tomatoes in half on one of her cutting boards. 

And he smiled at her. A wide, teeth-flashing grin that made her weak at the knees like it always did.

“Hi.” 

It was all he said. Lucy remained standing at the entrance of her apartment, so stunned she hadn’t even managed to set her clothes bag down from her arm yet.

He didn’t seem fazed by her lack of response. After his greeting, he turned back to the counter and continued chopping tomatoes nonchalantly, “Tamara let me in. Hope that’s okay.” 

It took her a few beats to find the words caught in her throat.

“What…what are you doing here?”

Tentatively, she set her bag down on the floor underneath the coat hooks and watched while Tim shrugged, producing a simple answer. “What I should’ve done two weeks ago. Making dinner for us.” 

Her heart thumped wildly in her chest upon hearing the softness in his voice; something she’d grown accustomed to, but never really gave much thought into until that moment. 

“I…” Her eyes swept around the apartment and suddenly noticed all of the candles lit, the same way it had been the night Tim came over before the undercover operation. The night they kissed. She knotted her eyebrows, but brushed off the thought, determined not to read into the situation. Instead, she turned back to him and stuttered, “I-I am…so confused.” 

He gave an understanding shrug of his shoulders, then set the paring knife in his hand down on the cutting board, turning to her. 

“Look, I can leave if you want me to. After the way I handled…everything, I would completely understand. But, I came here to apologize. I’m—” Tim swallowed thickly, trying to choke them out before he lost his nerve. He didn’t apologize often, but he suddenly found this to be the second time lately that he’s apologized to Lucy Chen for his idiotic mistakes. “I’m really sorry, Lucy.” 

They stared at each other. She observed the sincerity in his eyes; though, little did he know, she’d already forgiven him. Lucy’s shoulders slumped, slightly hating the pain she’d clearly caused him. It wasn’t his fault, really. He was only human. 

When she didn’t respond, he added. “Just say the word, and I’ll go. But…” Tim trailed off, dipping his head down as he admitted, “for the record, I want to stay. If you’ll let me.” 

Him leaving was the last thing Lucy would ever want, but she got distracted for a moment, pursing her lips as she surveyed his features curiously. Her attention led to the conclusion that he was slightly nervous, despite his calm exterior. 

"I…want you to stay.” She caught his quiet sigh of relief, and held back a self-satisfied smile. Lucy rocked on her heels once, then dropped her eyes and fidgeted with her hands at her waist. Tentatively, she asked, “So, this is an apology dinner?”

“Sort of, yes.” 

Lucy kept her head down as she smiled, heart filling with warmth at the softness in his voice, then stepped forward hesitantly.

“Is this an apologetic...‘let’s be friends again’ dinner, or…?” 

Tim sucked in a breath and smoothed his anxious hand out on his freshly pressed jeans, wiping away any moisture that was starting to form.

“No.” His answer surprised her, it seemed, because she finally looked up and met his stare again. There was a brief moment of panic where she thought the worst, but his calm demeanor seemed to slightly ease her worries. He didn’t falter as he repeated, “No, it’s the dinner we should have had. That night.” 

Despite the implication, they remained unmoving, staring into each other’s eyes with purpose. The heat of his gaze sent goosebumps down her arm. This was starting to get real. Too real. 

Lucy shook them off quickly and protested, “Maybe w-we shouldn’t do this until—” 

“We went to the courthouse today. Signed all the paperwork,” Tim interjected, understanding her thought before she even completed her sentence. “I received a copy of the filed divorce decree in my email earlier, and they’re sending two paper copies in the mail at my request. It’s over.” 

For one second, pure joy flooded her veins as she realized that her wild conspiracy theories about Tim getting back together with Isabel were all completely wrong. She suddenly felt stupid and embarrassed for spending even one second in that freezer thinking it was a possibility that he would go back on what he decided. Take that, Wilson!, she thought. 

In the next moment, though, Lucy was quickly reminded of the pain in his eyes as he went on that date with Isabel. The conflict that he’d portrayed when he asked her to tell him what to do. She was overcome with the urgent need to talk it through with him, making up for her lack of attention to the situation before. 

“Is that really what you want, though?” 

He cocked an eyebrow, confused. “What do you mean?” 

“I mean, you have a lot of history there,” Lucy clarified, shrugging. “You’re really willing to let all that go to waste, after everything that you’ve been through?” 

Tim narrowed his eyes, thinking over her question. Was this some sort of trap? A Chen Test, of sorts, to verify his loyalty to her? God, this woman was so confusing.

He settled on the diplomatic answer. “History isn’t everything, Lucy.” 

“She was your wife, Tim. She could give you what you want. A family.” The gravity and pointedness in her tone was confusing to him, but it confirmed that this wasn’t some elaborate trick. She seemed genuinely concerned for him, desperate to get him to understand the consequences of his actions. It was as if she was trying to persuade him to see the benefits in going back to Isabel. “You love her.”

“I do,” Tim confirmed, because he wouldn’t deny it. 

When he noticed her body deflate, it suddenly dawned on him that she wasn’t trying to convince him that going back to Isabel was the right idea. She was trying to protect herself from heartbreak again. He couldn’t blame her, after what he’d recently put her through. He should have told her about Isabel from the start. He should have refused Isabel’s request to rekindle their relationship the moment she brought it up, and should’ve told Lucy how he felt about her right after. 

If he were a more perfect person, maybe he would’ve; if he had, maybe Lucy wouldn’t be so self-doubtful now in consequence.

He quickly decided he would have to resort to some extreme measures.

“Lucy.” Tim stepped forward, so now they were only a few inches apart. “You—of all people—should know that there’s a difference between loving someone because they were important to your life once and being in love with someone.” His lips curved into a softer smile. “And I’m not in love with Isabel anymore. I’m in love with you.” 

He said it so matter-of-factly, like she should already have guessed what he was about to say before she said it. Maybe she should’ve; and, perhaps, she would’ve, if she hadn’t spent so much time crafting a defense mechanism to deny her own growing feelings for him. 

She twisted her lips, aching to return his words, but still finding resistance from within. “But Isabel—” 

“—is my past. You…me…us, that’s the present. Or, at least, I hope it is. Maybe I wasn’t clear enough, but I want to be with you, Lucy.” She stood still, fixated on the sincerity in his eyes. And if it wasn’t before, his vulnerability was definitely exposed now. In one breath that resembled a chuckle, he added, “That is…you know, if I haven’t screwed this up for good.” 

Tim held the air from his speech as long as he could, despite feeling his pulse spike with the fear of rejection in his veins. Her expression gave nothing away, to his chagrin.

Finally, after what felt like a lifetime to him, she shook her head and smiled. 

“You haven’t. I want to be with you, too.” 

Before Tim could even begin to think of his next move, there was a gurgling sound from beside him. The saucepan started bubbling, and he realized that the sauce to his eggplant dish had overheated under the strength of Lucy’s gas stove. He tore his eyes away from Lucy to move to the side and stir it while he turned the gas down. It was a mundane and ill-timed interruption, but it gave them both a beat to collect themselves.

Tim sighed as he looked up from the stove, but she was already there. Her hands framed his face as she crushed her lips to his with complete conviction. He stumbled back, surprised, but instantly lifted his hands up so he could hold her to him. Tim returned the intensity of her mouth against his, leaning forward to chase her lips as she lowered herself from her toes and relinquished control. She felt her body light on fire where he began to touch her, hands roaming up and down her arm, down her back, and through her hair. 

Eventually, Lucy had to physically push him away so she could regain her breath. He didn’t let her out of his grasp, not that she was complaining. 

“So,” Tim began after allowing her to catch her breath, “you think we should talk about the fact that I told you I love you, or—?” 

She kissed him again, cutting him off. When she pulled back, she scoffed. “What’s there to talk about? You know I love you, too.”

He wanted to roll his eyes. He didn’t know that. That was the whole point. Instead, he found his lips on hers again, thinking he better not make any more stupid mistakes he couldn’t get himself out of this time. 

Though, he was sure he’d be an idiot in the future again. And Lucy would forgive him (eventually) because she loved him, too. 

“I think,” she whispered as she pulled away and ran a delicate hand down his solid chest, desperate to feel the skin underneath. His fingers tugged at a strand of her hair at her shoulder as she bit her lip and suggested lowly, “We should just skip dinner.” 

It pleased her ears when she heard a quiet, yet throaty groan from him. She knew he understood her intention. After all, it was what both of them had imagined would happen on the night they were originally supposed to meet for dinner. They both quickly realized that there was no chance of them ever making it to the main meal on that night, either. 

He kissed her again, sweeter this time, and murmured a half-hearted complaint against her lips.

“It’ll get cold, Lucy.” 

“God, I hope so.” 

They stumbled backwards. His hand quickly found the knob of the gas stove and he turned it off all while she continued kissing him, so passionately that he struggled to keep up with the multi-tasking. But, of course, he managed. 

She wrapped her arms around his neck and he took the leverage to pull her onto him, hitching her thighs to his body while he walked them over to her bedroom and kicked the door shut. 

Later, they would decide to reheat the lotus root soup in the freezer instead of making the meal he’d prepared for (Tim complained, of course, but she didn’t need to do much convincing to get him to agree). While they ate, she told him about her four-hour abandoned freezer adventure. He immediately grabbed his phone and drafted a terse email to dispatch, demanding a meeting so they could review the proper procedure around welfare checks. 

Tim commented after he hit the sent button on the email that he would’ve found her sooner if he'd been on patrol. Lucy agreed.

Chapter Text

It was on a random, otherwise mundane Tuesday evening when it happened. 

They’d come back to his house together after work. It was the first time they had been able to leave the station together in a while, considering how busy Lucy was as a newly promoted Detective. As the newest addition to Caradine’s team, she’d been assigned all the cases others didn’t want, which meant a lot of weeding through the duds. She could still hear Lopez and Harper’s snickers as they left the station, sympathetic to her situation but still amused by it. 

By comparison, there was only one night that week when Tim had to stay late at the station due to an officer-involved shooting with Nolan’s seasoned rookie. Of course, that happened to be the night where Lucy finished her caseload early. It was annoying, but it gave her enough time to go back to her place to grab some things, catch up with Tamara, and clean up a bit. She’d been spending so much time at Tim’s, she was practically paying rent for a place she didn’t even use. 

But this evening was different. They left her car at the station and he drove them home. He stopped at Nevin’s at her request, though he made sure she was aware of his complaints. She didn’t pay much attention to it, though; she knew he secretly loved the donuts from Nevin’s and that even if he didn’t, he would do it anyway. For her, he would. 

Tim took Kojo for a short walk when they came home while Lucy prepared dinner. She made lotus root soup. It was back to being a celebratory meal instead of a comfort one. 

He’d become more adventurous with meals now that they were a couple. And, surprisingly, he ate them with little complaint. Sometimes, he even enjoyed them. And any mushrooms were safely transferred to her plate beforehand. 

After dinner, Tim washed the dishes (since Lucy cooked) while she put on the game for him to watch when he was done. She plopped down on the couch, laying down on her side, and pulled out her phone to unwind with some sacred Instagram scrolling. It didn't bother her that the noise on the TV was loud; gotten used to ignoring the sounds of cheering on football nights from Tim’s living room. 

He filled Kojo’s water bowl up so the canine could rehydrate after dinner before finally making his way over to the couch. 

“What are you doing?” asked Tim. 

“Instagram,” Lucy answered in a monotonous voice, signaling her deep spiral into her feed. Tim rolled his eyes. 

“It’ll never make sense to me how social media is so relaxing for you.” He rounded the corner of the sofa and paused when Lucy tilted her head up at him, a pout on her lips. 

“And watching grown men throw a ball back and forth on a field and tackle each other is supposed to be relaxing for you?” 

Another eye roll later, he leaned down and kissed her lips quickly, unable to resist. Her pout was replaced with a smile—as was his—and he happily rearranged her legs onto his laps so he could sit down on the couch. He kept his hands on her ankles, rubbing small circles into her skin, as he fixed his gaze on the television and she went back to scrolling. 

Twenty minutes later and into a deep dive into an account of someone she didn’t even know, Lucy stumbled across a strange post from two days ago, confronted with a familiar face. 

She wasn’t even sure how she ended up on the profile of the man (Logan, she recalled), but it had something to do with trying to stalk Genny’s ex-husband to see if the rumors about his new girlfriend were true or not. Genny’d mentioned it to her when Tim and Lucy went to see the kids last weekend at her new apartment in LA. 

But, nevertheless, there she was. Staring at a carousel of pictures of Isabel with what appeared to be her new boyfriend. Actually, Lucy realized as she scrolled to the end of the post, it appeared to be pictures of Isabel and her new fiancè. 

Lucy shot upright, moving her legs off of Tim and scooting over towards him. He growled at the TV when the Rams fumbled a touchdown, momentarily too preoccupied with the game to notice Lucy’s movement. 

“Tim!” Lucy gasped. He sipped his beer and hummed without removing his eyes from the television, prompting her to continue. “Have you heard from Isabel lately?” 

Tim choked on his drink, nearly spitting it all over himself. It was enough to earn his attention, thankfully. He met her gaze as she frowned, unimpressed with his apparent clumsiness. 

“Um, no," Tim snorted. "Why?” 

“Look.” She scrolled to the beginning of the post and turned her phone around so he could see. He leaned forward and attempted to take her phone, but she held it back.

“Luce, I need the phone to see the picture,” Tim argued, cocking an eyebrow in confusion. 

"Why? Old age finally catching up to you? Do we need to get you reading glasses?"  

"Oh, ha-ha," he deadpanned, then held out his hand. "Just give me the phone, Chen." 

“I’ll swipe for you.” He let out a confused huff, waiting for her to explain. She sighed. “What if you accidentally liked the post? Then they’d know I was stalking them.” 

Tim scowled impatiently. “I can’t accidentally like it. You have to press that little…heart button thing.” 

“Wow! Look at you. Practically an influencer now,” Lucy chuckled. He rolled his eyes again and leaned back on the couch. She followed the movement, tucking her feet underneath her body so she could fit herself into his shoulder, holding the phone out so they could both see. Despite his initial display of irritation, she felt his hand come around her waist and hold her in place while she swiped the screen to show him the pictures. 

“Good for her. She has a new boyfriend.” He shrugged against her nonchalantly, but Lucy shook her head. 

“No, not that. Wait for it.” She swiped on a few more pictures until she finally reached the end. It was the a picture of Isabel and this random man, a bright diamond shining on her finger and pointed at the screen while they embraced. 

Lucy glanced back at Tim to survey his reaction, not missing the way his eyes widened slightly and his lips parted open with initial shock. Eventually, he caught up to his reaction with his words. “Wow. I...did not expect that. It’s been, what, six months?” 

“Mmhmm.” She studied him for a moment longer, and somehow found the strength to ask, “Does it…bother you?”

“Bother me?” Tim repeated, meeting her gaze. He sounded genuinely bewildered why she would ask a question like that, though she thought it was very obvious why she needed to. Though things had been going great in their relationship so far, she did wonder if he ever thought about what would’ve happened if he took Isabel up on his offer to get back together. “Why would it bother me?”

Lucy shrugged and dropped her eyes. “I-I don’t know. She’s moving on, right? It’s got to hurt, a little?” 

Despite her prompting tone, Tim shook his head firmly. “Doesn’t hurt at all.” 

“Really?” 

“Really.” He laughed softly, a sound that she'd gotten used to but it always made her stomach fill with warmth at the sound. “I moved on a long time ago. Why shouldn’t she?” 

That was fair, Lucy thought to herself. She didn't doubt that Tim had moved on from Isabel, but she also knew that people were complex creatures. He was allowed to feel sad that his ex-wife was getting remarried, even if it didn't bother him for any particular reason. “And you don’t think it’s a little fast? Her getting engaged only six months after your divorce?” 

Truth was, selfishly, she tried to connect it to their own situation. Lucy and Tim had been dating for six months now (although, one could argue it was more serious than just dating, given that their first date consisted with an "I love you" from them both). And they'd been in a previous relationship (even if it was just a friendship) for nearly two years before that time. Presumably, Isabel's relationship had been the same length of time as theirs (maybe even shorter), but with less history. Lucy wondered if those facts, put together, meant something.

He held up his hand to correct her, tone still playful despite the serious conversation she was trying to pry from him. “Technically, the divorce was over two years ago.” 

“Technically, it wasn’t,” Lucy replied pointedly. Tim’s scowl returned at the mention of the dreaded clerical error, but when he saw that she wasn’t giving into his narrative, he sighed and let it go. Instead, he shrugged. 

“If she loves him, then the timing shouldn’t matter.” Her heart melted slightly at the way he looked at her when he said the words, the soft romantic side of him peeking through the cool exterior he was trying to maintain. She felt a small smile lift her lips as he continued, “I want her to be happy.” 

And though he was blissfully unaware of it, that sentence stirred up a distant memory for Lucy.

Lucy finally found Tim at his desk at the end of shift, where he was calmly filling out paperwork. She’d already changed out into her civvies for the evening, eager and anxious to get on with the rest of the night. When Tim left her apartment early in the morning so he could go home, take care of Kojo, and get ready for work, he made a promise to Lucy that they would go out to dinner in the evening. To make up for the fact that his romantic dinner plans got...sidetracked in favor of leftovers and sex. 

She appreciated the gesture. Although, at the same time, she regretted nothing.

He seemed to sense her presence and lifted his eyes from the paperwork when she approached. An overwhelmingly sweet smile slid onto his lips, causing one of her own to form almost instantly. His teeth flashed, and it made her weak in the knees again. 

“You’re changed already,” Tim noted when Lucy approached, leaning back in his chair as he crossed his arms. The act caused her to get a good view of his biceps strained against the tight fabric of his uniform shirt. She had to bite her lip to prevent from letting out a feral sound that rose in her throat when she remembered what he looked like underneath. 

“Yep,” Lucy piped, clearing her throat free of those salacious thoughts. It was difficult, to say the least; not made any easier by the way he stared her down. She refocused on the paperwork on his desk. “Almost done?” 

“Just need to debrief with Grey, then we can leave.” 

Lucy nodded. At the mention of their boss, she thought back to the hearty laugh Sergeant Grey had let out this morning when they went into his office and filed the HR paperwork that Tim had insisted they submit immediately. She wanted to convince him to keep their relationship a secret, but then she remembered that it was pointless. 

It wasn't just an undeniable sexual attraction that they'd felt after their undercover op. It wasn't just two friends deciding that they might have feelings for each other. They loved each other. Which meant they would inevitably have to tell the station about their relationship at some point if it were going to have a real chance at lasting. Though it angered her to know she would have to deal with unfair consequences to her reputation, she also made her decision. Tim was worth it. Their relationship was too important to be thrown away because of patriarchal rules. 

Grey didn’t seem too concerned. He said Tim couldn’t give her direct orders anymore, but that it shouldn’t be an issue to the higher-ups. He didn’t even seem too shocked when they told him. Rather, he looked…relieved, as if he’d been holding his breath for them to admit it this entire time. 

Lucy wouldn’t be surprised. They hadn’t exactly been discreet, looking back on their past interactions with a new perspective.

“I’ll wait out front for you?” she offered. At the same time, both of them turned to see Sergeant Grey beckon Tim to his office along with the other Sergeants. Tim smiled as he lifted himself from his chair. 

“Okay. I’ll be out soon.” His strong fingers grazed hers on the desk as he brushed past her shoulder and walked over to Grey’s office. The Watch Commander shut his door and Lucy caught Tim glancing at her briefly, a smile still firmly planted on his lips as he sat down. 

She realized later that she, too, hadn’t dropped her grin. It was starting to hurt her face. 

“Aw, damn!” Lucy heard from behind her. She spun around, surprised to see Smitty with a defeated look on his face as he stared off at Sergeant Grey’s office. She cocked an eyebrow at him. 

“Everything okay, Smitty?” 

“Yeah…” He groaned. “I was hoping to catch Bradford before he went into debriefing. His wife is here.” 

Lucy blinked. “W-What?” 

“His wife. Isabel,” Smitty repeated. Lucy felt her heart drop instantly in her chest. Tim had told her that Isabel was returning to Arizona. Why was she at the station again? Was there something wrong with the paperwork again? Did she decide she wanted another chance to win him back…again? 

That thought heated her blood slightly. For some reason, jealousy spread through every bone in her body when she thought about Isabel standing in the lobby waiting for Tim again. Now that Lucy was sure of Tim’s feelings for her, she wasn’t willing to share. 

The brief moment of anger caused her tone to become more abrasive than normal when she offered, “Okay, I’ll tell him she’s here to see him when he gets out.” 

“Oh, she’s not here to see him. She asked for you.” 

Lucy Chen was rarely ever surprised. But…this definitely surprised her. It was an interesting turn of events, to say the least.

“To…see…me?” she echoed. He nodded. Lucy pondered all the scenarios in which Isabel needed to speak to her—alone—before she wrinkled her nose in confusion and finally asked, “Wait, if she’s here to see me, why did you need to catch Tim?” 

“Because, I figured if my wife was here asking to see my girlfriend, I’d probably want a heads up, too,” Lucy opened her mouth to protest at Smitty’s use of the word ‘girlfriend’, but he interrupted her. “Don’t even bother, Chen. I know what I see when I see it. Next time, try the storage closet on the third floor. Much more private.” 

She stood, speechless, as Smitty stepped off in the direction of the men’s locker rooms. She stared after him, not sure whether to be impressed or scared with his sudden skills of deduction.

When she finally regained the ability to think about anything other than Smitty noticing her and Tim's rendezvous in the interrogation viewing room last week, Lucy remembered that Isabel was in the waiting room. To see her. 

Well, this should be interesting. 

She made her way around the station to finally come out of the authorized-only door leading to the lobby. It was a slow evening, so there were only a few civilians sitting in chairs and one officer at the front desk. Lucy saw Isabel the second she stepped out, the blonde hair a dead giveaway. 

“Lucy. Hi,” Isabel greeted, stepping forward.

“Hi Isabel,” Lucy returned, giving a slightly hesitant (yet still polite) smile. “It’s so nice to see you again.” 

“You too.” 

“Are you…headed back to Arizona?” 

“I’m about to hit the road, yeah.” 

An awkward moment passed until Lucy realized she should probably speak. “Y-You asked to see me?” 

“I did,” Isabel replied. She gathered her thoughts for a moment, then smiled. “I know this might sound odd, but I wanted to thank you. The night you called asking about how Tim and I used to study in the Academy…well, I wasn’t in the best place at the time. Getting out of rehab...being alone...it was…difficult, to say the least.” 

There was a pain in Isabel’s tone, and Lucy caught her slightly wince at the memory. Lucy sympathized immediately, trying to convey with her expression that she could only imagine how hard it must’ve been for Isabel to go through what she did. Lucy remembered seeing Isabel in her early days as a rookie, and knew how hard it must’ve been for her to get back on track after. 

“Yeah. Yeah, I can imagine,” Lucy said quietly, nodding. 

Even though she knew she shouldn’t, she began to feel slightly guilty as Isabel shared intimate, personal details with her, unknowingly talking to the woman her ex-husband was now seeing. Especially after what they’d gone through in the last two weeks.

Isabel continued, “When you called and told me about Tim taking his Sergeant’s exam, it meant a lot to me. It meant a lot to know that he was doing okay. It’s what got me through that night. Hell, it got me through a lot of others, too.” She hesitated for a moment, then resumed, “More importantly, though, knowing that he had someone there to look out for him…knowing that he had you—that was what got me through it.” 

Lucy’s mouth parted slightly, at somewhat of a loss for words. It was far from what she expected. 

“So, thank you,” Isabel finished, painting a smile on her lips. Lucy took another moment to collect her thoughts, and eventually smiled back. 

“Of course.” She shrugged it off humbly. “I was just…you know, doing my job.” 

Isabel laughed, a sarcastic bite to the sound. “Right. I’m not sure calling your T.O.'s ex-wife to help him study for his Sergeant's exam is in the job description for an LAPD rookie.” 

“Okay, maybe not,” she agreed, laughing along. Lucy waited to see if Isabel had anything else to say before deciding to speak again. “Well…listen, have a safe drive home. And if you ever want to know about how Tim’s doing…you can always call me.” 

She felt weird about the last statement, swallowing down the guilt in her stomach. But as soon as Lucy made the offer, she saw an odd twinkle of something in Isabel’s eyes. 

“I’ll do that.” 

Lucy was still fixated on trying to decipher the look in Isabel’s eye as the blonde woman moved to leave, heading in the direction of the lobby door. But, suddenly, Isabel stopped and turned around, catching Lucy’s attention again. 

“Lucy.”

Her eyes snapped up to meet Isabel’s. And, then, it hit Lucy like a freight train. Isabel knew. Maybe she didn't know all the details about her relationship with Tim, but she knew enough. Lucy braced herself for the impact, not sure whether Isabel would say something back-handed or straight up insult her to her face. Some part of Lucy didn't think that Isabel was that cruel, but she also knew that Tim Bradford was the type of man anyone would fight over. She wasn't expecting it to be an easy battle.

But Isabel surprised her.

“I’m really glad he’s happy," Isabel told her, nodding solemnly. Lucy had a feeling that she meant more by that statement than she was articulating clearly. "He deserves it.” 

The last part was said with nothing but sincerity. After everything Isabel had put him through, all she wanted was for him to get the happiness he deserved. And it would allow her to get her own. 

The corners of Lucy’s lips turned up in a soft smile, and Isabel returned it for only a moment as a silent understanding passed between the two women. Then, Isabel made her way through the doors and was gone. 

A few moments later, as Lucy stared after the doors with a mixed look of awe and confusion on her face, she heard the sound of the authorized-only door buzz behind her. She didn’t even have to look back to know who it was.

“Hey…” Tim surveyed the deserted waiting room lobby as he walked in while Lucy turned around to face him, still wearing a smile on her face. “Smitty told me to come see you out here. It was all very cryptic. You okay?” 

They were standing close now, and he let his eyes finally settle upon her at the same time she looked up at him. She nodded. 

“Everything’s fine.” 

“Good.” Tim smiled softly as they gazed, but then cleared his throat and continued. “He also asked if I needed a…protective cup?” She snorted in laughter, causing him to add, “Do I even want to know what that’s about?” 

“Probably not,” she admitted through her laughs. He nodded slowly with understanding. “Go, get changed. I’ll wait here.” 

He obliged immediately, squeezing her elbow softly before heading back inside so he could change out. The act made her heart swell with affection. 

With Isabel’s words echoing in her head, all Lucy could think about was that as happy as she might’ve made him, he always returned the favor. She wondered whether they’d wasted too much time tiptoeing around their feelings for each other with all the drama, but then remembered that it all led to this moment. 

She loved him. He loved her. Clerical error or otherwise.

In her head, it felt like ages before she finally replied. Tim, of course, didn’t catch on. 

“Are you?” Lucy asked finally. He cocked an eyebrow. “Happy, I mean?”

Tim was about to roll his eyes and tell her to stop psychoanalyzing him, but he noticed the genuine curiosity and hesitancy hidden behind her gaze. The self-doubt spiral he’d seen on her face the night he told her he loved her returned, and he would be damned if he’d let her keep traveling down that road. 

He leaned forward and cupped her face in his large hand, stroking his thumb across her cheek for a single moment before he closed the distance between them. His kiss was soft, tender, loving.

It was a perfect answer to her question. He was happier than he’d ever been in his entire life. 

When the dog started to whine at the door, Tim had no choice but to pull away from the kiss. Lucy let him go with a whimper, and he responded by resting his forehead against hers for a second longer, an act of silent agreement to her protests. 

“I’ll be right back,” he promised, feeling her pout against him. “Your dog needs to go out, and I need to watch him this time to nip this digging thing in the bud.” He was, of course, referring to the fact that Kojo had formed a new habit of digging into the garden Lucy had started in his backyard. He told Lucy this would happen, but she merely responded that she was confident in his abilities as a dog whisperer to prevent it. 

"Why does he always become my dog when he does something bad?"

"Because you teach him all the bad habits," he countered simply. Lucy maintained her pout as he slipped out of her grasp and lifted himself from the couch to walk over to the back door, sliding it open so he and Kojo could go outside. The dog ran to the back of the property immediately, sniffing around so he could find the best spot to do his business. 

Tim glanced over his shoulder to see through the glass window that Lucy had picked up her phone again, making some swiping gestures on it. He laughed to himself aloud and turned around, pulling his own phone out from his pocket. 

We’re still on for tomorrow? 

It was a text from Lopez, one that he knew was coming since he didn’t get a chance to confirm with her earlier in the day. He smiled as he typed back.

Yes. 12pm. 

Only a few seconds passed before his phone buzzed again with another text from her.

Copy that. Harper will meet us there.

Tim’s smile instantly dropped into a frown. 

I told you not to tell anyone!

He watched the bubbles on the screen, then the message appeared. 

Harper and Wesley aren’t included in that, obviously. Anyways, she’s coming. She said that if you’re not going to let Lucy pick out her own, she might as well join to make sure you don’t screw it up.

Tim rolled his eyes at the comment, practically reading it in Nyla's own voice. He would've considered arguing with Lopez about an additional member to their shopping party, but ultimately decided that it wasn't worth arguing with her. And, perhaps, he also wanted Harper's opinion. So instead, he conceded, like he knew he would in the end. 

Fine, Harper can come. But don’t get too excited. I’m just looking.

He looked up from his phone to see Kojo looking at Lucy’s garden with intent in his eyes. Tim whistled at the dog, whose attention was immediately caught. Tim smiled, and Kojo looked slightly defeated, but went back to sniffing around to find the best place to poop. 

When he looked down at his phone, he saw another text. 

Sure you are. Then, an image. A diamond ring, cut into an oval shape with a gold band. He sighed as he saw another text pop up on the chain. I think she’ll like this style. We’ll discuss it tomorrow. I’ll get Harper’s opinion, too. 

Tim knew he wouldn’t be able to talk Lopez out of whatever spiral she was about to go down looking for engagement rings. He was slightly regretting telling Angela that he was thinking about buying Lucy a ring, because now it’d become a whole thing with her. He nearly had to tell Lucy that Angela was having a stroke at the station because Lopez couldn't stop giggling like a schoolgirl about the entire thing.

After seeing Kojo finish up his business, he whistled for the dog to come to his side. Once Kojo came running, Tim turned on his heel to head back inside the house. 

Through the glass window, he saw Lucy staring at the television screen while the game played, a perplexed look on her face. She looked half-interested, half-confused. But she didn’t tear her eyes away, not even when she heard Kojo let out a quick bark when the leaves rustled next door from the neighbor’s cat. 

Suddenly, for some reason he couldn’t explain, Tim knew that Lopez was right. He wasn’t just looking for rings. He would buy one. Maybe not tomorrow, but eventually. 

He’d told her once that Isabel was his past. In a way, though, so was Lucy—at least, the relationship that they’d had, as rookie and T.O., was in the past. 

Since then, Lucy had become his present. And he had never been more certain that she was his future, too.