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It was a Tuesday afternoon when Chrissy realized that time was passing slowly. That day, for the second time, she ate an actual meal and didn’t purge just right away. “Well, that’s a start , ” she thought, but still, she wasn’t exactly living her best moment. The school was as always kind of boring and Jason would be the same every day. He even said the same phrases over and over again. “How’s the pretties cheerleader doing?” “Gotta go to practice, babe” “You look so good on your uniform” etcetera. Jason wasn’t a bad person, but he made Chrissy so bored sometimes, that she only wanted to escape from him.
He was calling her but she wouldn’t answer the phone, Chrissy knew what Jason wanted, otherwise, he wouldn’t be calling her. She was playing some music to avoid her mom’s voice and the sound of the ringing phone when suddenly, a Black Sabbath song started to play on her walkman. She immediately remembered Eddie Munson and the night they spent together getting high in his trailer, with Black Sabbath songs in the background. He gave her a cassette with some of his favorite songs and of course, Black Sabbath songs were in the mix. Then, it came to her mind the moment when they met at the picnic table, she found herself smiling at the memory of Eddie making her laugh, and then she remembered how he mentioned his band. “ What day did they play? ” Of course, Tuesday. That day was Tuesday.
Chrissy didn’t have a great memory, one time she even forgot about her anniversary with Jason and he was furious, he always reproached her. It made her a little sad because it was something she didn’t control and she just simply forgot about things, even if they were as important as an anniversary. But here she is, doing her best to remember where Eddie told her his band played, until it came to her mind, The Hideout. They play on Tuesdays at The Hideout. Of course, there it is. She was now a bit more hyped for the rest of the day, she was going to see Eddie and his band, Corroded Coffin.
She took a long shower as she practiced her greeting to Eddie.
“Hi, Eddie. I’m so glad I came, your band was amazing” She would say. “No, no, that doesn’t sound cool.”
“Hello, how are you, Eddie? The gig was cool.” She would say in different voice tones. “What are you doing Chrissy? You wanna sound stupid?”
“Hi, Ed. Hi, Eddie. Eddie! Hi! Hello, Eddie! Hey, Eddie. What up, Eddie? Howdy!”
She felt like she sounded stupid, childish, and awkward. She just wanted to be cool and confident like Eddie, she just wanted his approval. All the time, she was seeking Jason’s approval, and the same behavior happened with Eddie. All she wanted was to be socially approved. It would cross her mind, “ What if Eddie doesn’t care if I go or not? He might not want me there. What if he thinks I’m too ‘popular’ for this?” Lots of other things made her bite her tongue as a physiological response to her nervousness. Still, she wanted to go.
She picked her most ‘edgy’ clothes. She had a t-shirt that her cousin left at her house the last time she went, it was black and ripped a little as a decoration. She picked dark denim jeans and her only pair of boots, they weren’t so cool as Eddie’s boots but they were something. Instead of a high ponytail, she wore her hair down and tried to make it wavy, she even used a little bit darker eye shadow. Even though she tried to change a little her style, she still glowed a ‘good girl’ vibe. At least she looked more confident.
It was already dark so she carefully sneaked downstairs trying not to wake her dad, who was sleeping with the TV on in the living room or call her mom’s attention in the kitchen. She closed the door as slowly as she could and once she was outside the house, she started to walk to The Hideout. She walked into the shadows of the streets so no one would see her, specialty wearing what she was wearing. It took her nearly ten minutes to arrive at The Hideout, she searched for the entrance until she saw a hidden door that was graffitied and a dim light came out of there. She walked near and heard some music from inside. It was more of a chill melody so she thought that probably that wasn’t Eddie and his band so she got inside. Once she was in, she was looking for a place to sit, kind of nervous, because she had never been there before. There was a high chair so she sat there, looking around and hearing drunk people fight in the bar section. “Chrissy?” She heard from afar, so she turned around looking for whoever said it. Eddie was running over to her with a big smile on his face, which made her smile too.
Eddie got to where Chrissy was and then said: “You really came” with a hyped voice. Chrissy only nodded a ‘yes’ in response.
“Please tell me you haven’t played yet” She joked.
“No, no. You’re right on time”
Both laugh and then looked at each other. Eddie had a dreamy look in his two wild eyes and Chrissy felt peace at his staring. “I’m glad you came” Eddie then said.
“Oh, good, for a moment I thought you wouldn’t want me here” Chrissy said, trying to make Eddie laugh.
“Please! I was waiting for you!”
There was some kind of comfort in Eddie’s voice, it made Chrissy feel better, safe calmed. It made her feel like everything was okay.
“You look…" Eddie was trying to find the word that described his surprise at seeing her wearing something so different.
“Do I look weird? I didn’t have proper clothes for the occasion” Chrissy started to get anxious. What if Eddie thought she looked ridiculous in that? He had a better clothing taste than her for sure.
“No, no, you just look, more… you."
Eddie smiled kindly at her, Chrissy felt something in her belly, what was it? Butterflies? It can’t be, right?
“Come on, I saved you a seat in the VIP section and, you can even come backstage,” Eddie said, taking her by the hand to another section in the place, a large sofa all alone. “You have to make an early reservation, a lot of our fans want to be in VIP, but I selected the best for you, though” Eddie said, obviously joking at the fact that the place was almost alone, and she was probably the only person who intended to really see Corroded Coffin play that night. “Wait here, I’m gonna get ready” He said and then he walked away leaving Chrissy alone.
Eddie thought Chrissy would never want to see him ever again, but even though, he had that little hope that the blonde girl would show up at the gig, and so she did, unexpectedly. “Guys, you know any good pop songs?” He asked his band members.
“Bryan Adam counts?” One of them said.
“Yeah, I got it, my neighbor won’t stop playing one of his songs, Heaven” Eddie replied “I know the lyrics”
“Eddie, but we don’t play pop” Another member said.
“Who cares? We have a guest tonight”
The other boys just tried to practice a little the song, Eddie gave them the notes and they got it easy. Then, a waitress spoke through the microphone and presented Corroded Coffin as the three boys stepped on the stage. From afar, Chrissy clapped when Eddie stepped up. The other members turned to look at Eddie with the look of ‘what the hell?’ and Eddie simply smirked. They started to play some of their music, Eddie was the front voice and guitarist. Chrissy was only looking at him and his hands that went up and down playing the cords on the guitar. His hair waved a little every time he moved his head. Chrissy would listen closely to the words that Eddie sang and she liked the lyrics, some songs were about fun stuff, others about drugs, and there was one song that talked about someone needing some kind of affection. Chrissy thought it was nice, she couldn’t stop smiling at Eddie, who now and then turned to look at her and would smile. He was doing his best, he wanted to impress her as much as possible, Eddie wanted Chrissy to think he’s good at something, he just wanted her approval.
When Chrissy thought the show was over, Eddie and his band members whispered something to each other, and then Eddie talked through the microphone. “Now, this last song is a cover…" he started “and I wanted to dedicate this to our first and probably only fan, Chrissy Cunningham” He said.
Chrissy’s cheeks rosed and she made a gesture of praise, some people turned to look at her and some others just clapped tiredly.
Eddie started to play a sweet and soft melody that Chrissy recognized. It was actually a song she loved. ‘Heaven’ by Bryan Adams. She always wanted Jason to dedicate her to that song, she even said one time “Oh, I love this song” turning up the volume on Jason’s truck when he was driving her home, in an intention to make him dedicate it to her, but he just turned down the volume instead.
“Baby, you’re all that I want…" Eddie sang “ When you're lyin’ here in my arms, I’m findin’ it hard to believe, we’re in heaven”
Eddie’s voice fixed very well with the tone of the song and Chrissy was loving it. She was all flushed at how Eddie saw her when he sang. This song was very different from what Eddie sang before, completely, but still, he managed to make it sound even better. How could he be so talented? Finally, the song ended and Eddie just said “Ladies and gentlemen, we’re Corroded Coffin” and then run out backstage. As soon as she could, Chrissy stood up and also went backstage to meet Eddie there.
“You were amazing, Eddie” she gasped. “And-and, that last cover was just so…"
"I'm glad you really liked it, for a moment I thought you would run away” Eddie laughed and posed his left hand on Chrissy’s shoulder, but Chrissy wasn’t even aware of it, she was being consumed by Eddie’s laugh.
“Eddie, you’re so talented” The silence invaded the room where they were, a smell of leather and weed came to Chrissy’s nose and her eyes became crystalline.
“I’m glad you think that, actually, now that I think about it…"
Chrissy just hugged Eddie as an act of her impulsiveness, but she couldn’t stop smiling. Eddie was a little shocked at first but soon hugged Chrissy back and the girl buried her head in Eddie’s chest.
“Thank you, thank you thank you” Chrissy whispered, but enough so Eddie could hear her.
“For what?” He said, confused but not surprised.
She turns to look at Eddie’s face and she simply says: “for inviting me”.
Chrissy’s puppy eyes were going to hurt Eddie in so many unimaginable ways. He knew since the moment they talked at the picnic table that she was special. And when they were in his trailer, she confessed to Eddie how she was feeling. Eddie of course felt bad for Chrissy, but there wasn’t anything he could do to help her really, he just didn’t want to make her even more miserable. Eddie is smart enough to know that if Jason, Chrissy’s current and well-known boyfriend saw her with ‘Eddie, the freak’ he would literally break his head and hold it like a trophy. But now, at looking deep into Chrissy’s blue eyes, he was feeling disposed to risk it all for just a kiss of her. And so he leans over her face, and she smells like bubblegum, mixed with hairspray. He simply presses his lips over Chrissy’s lips. The girl closes her eyes slowly and losses at the moment, she felt Eddie’s breath so close to her neck as he pressed on her lips as if the world would end after. A soft and slow kiss is what both share, and they don’t want to separate.
Chrissy felt tiny in Eddie’s arms, she felt safe for some reason. Back when he was on stage, she was staring at his fingers on the guitar and her mind would play dirty on her. She would say she had never felt like that, but in reality, her mind would sometimes create images worthy of an adult's movie. Maybe that’s why she holds Eddie’s hand and drives it to her belly, so he stops kissing her and scoffs, still close to Chrissy. “Do you really want to? Here?” He asks her and almost as a begging, Chrissy nods and whispers “Please”. Eddie tilts Chrissy over a dressing table and closes the door that was just next to them, trying to be quiet. He continues kissing her and slowly leads the kisses down. Chrissy herself unbuttons her black denim jeans and lets Eddie touch her tights. He kneels and takes off Chrissy’s jeans, leaving her with only her panties on, but suddenly, she holds Eddie’s hand just before he could touch her again.
“Is this okay?” He asks.
Eddie at first didn’t seem to be the kind to say something when he was in an intimate moment, but to Chrissy’s surprise, he cared about how she felt in a moment like this, a thing that Jason would not even think about.
“Yeah, I just-“ She starts biting her dumb “It’s been a long time since I’ve…"
Eddie stands up again and places Chrissy’s hair behind her ear.
“I don’t really feel comfortable” She finally says.
“We don’t have to do this. Here…" Eddie hands Chrissy her jeans and so she stands up to put them back again. “I know you have a boyfriend, and I’m just-“
Chrissy didn’t mean Jason. She meant herself. She wasn’t thinking about Jason. It’s been hard for her to do this kind of thing when she didn’t like how she looked. When Eddie stood up, she felt a bit stupid for thinking that she was confident enough to have sex in a dressing room with Eddie Munson just right after he performed in front of her.
“Eddie…" She interrupts him “I don’t like my body”
Her voice was breaking. Eddie looked down at his shoes and held his stare for a few moments until he heard Chrissy blow her nose he turn his gaze at her again.
“I know that Chrissy, I know that your mom doesn’t really like you either, I know that you don’t want to eat, Chrissy… It's called an eating disorder” He said, as Chrissy’s eyes were teary. Eddie could see fear in her face.
There, finally, someone had the guts to tell those two words in Chrissy’s face. She knew very well that those actions weren’t exactly healthy or good for her in any way. But there she was, doing it anyway.
“I think that you need help, Chrissy” Eddie spoke again “And I’ll be here if you ever need me, I’ll wait for you”
I’ll wait for you. Eddie was willing to wait for her as long as she lasted to heal.
Chrissy didn’t want to, but again, she was comparing Jason to Eddie, and if Chrissy ever were to tell Jason about her mom, or her eating disorder, he would quit literally laugh in her face and tell her that she just wants attention. While Eddie was there, telling her that he would wait.
“You should try new styles” Eddie, all of the sudden, says.
Chrissy turns to look at him a bit confused.
“I mean, you should try and find your true style, something that screams your name”.
“Doesn’t this scream my name?” Chrissy jokes pointing to her shirt and jeans.
“That screams ‘I’m stealing Eddie’s style’” A small laugh scaped from Eddie’s mouth “I'm not saying you don’t look good, I already said it before— that you look good, I mean. All I’m saying is… "
And just before Eddie could finish talking, Chrissy pressed her lips over his once again, and Eddie tried not to smile while kissing her.
Who cared by now? If Eddie liked Chrissy? At the end of the day, everyone liked Chrissy, and apparently, Chrissy likes Eddie too. He could finally say he was in heaven having her in his arms.