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The black Cadillac is parked next to the other vehicles on the dirt road. Izzy is still a bit on the unsure side of joining the O’Connell’s to this random party hosted by people he doesn’t know but Evelyn and Alex had insisted and well, Izzy can’t lie when he says that it warms his stomach to be included. He’s also a bit excited to be away from the hot desserts of Egypt and across the pond. It’s a whole new adventure without undead mummies and the fate of the world hanging over his shoulders so it’s a great reprieve from the normal messes the O’Connell’s usually drag him into. It’s just a party. What could possibly go wrong at a party? (Ah, who was he kidding, he was gong to get shot in one way or another.)
“For the love of-I knew we should have gotten up earlier, half of the family is already here!” Evelyn says as she smooths out Alex’s hair.
“Ah, no worries, Evie. We’re fashionably late, that’s all.” Jonathan says as he jumps out of the car.
Everyone else scrambles right on out, including Izzy.
And no, he does not freeze when he sees the tombstones perfectly lined up on the side. (Shut up, he doesn’t!)
“Ah, look, they’ve placed the Anubis statue right in the center of the cemetery,” Ardeth says and Izzy catches the tone of happiness as he says it. “I knew my gift would be the best received.”
“You kidding me, Gomez is going to cry when he gets mine,” O’Connell says as he pulls out his family’s luggage and very rudely tosses Izzy his own bag.
Ardeth pats Izzy’s shoulder and motions for him to follow. Izzy does and tries to ignore how eerie the black mansion ahead of them looks. Surely the bats flying around it don’t mean anything? Oh look, leafless tress. Well, Izzy is not arboist, for all he knows those trees are in season. He’ll admit, though, the melodic music coming from within really sets the tone of the desolate, pitch dark place. Izzy can appreciate that these people have a theme. Everyone forgets to provide ambiance now a days, especially in the desert. It may not be Izzy’s style but he can applaud their commitment to the aesthetic. And if it reminds him of that vampire book Alex was reading to him on the way over—no, wait, these people are O’Connell’s brethren, they’re probably just weird.
Just as everyone reaches the foyer, the door opens and out walks out Death herself. Oops, excuse him, it’s just a really attractive woman with a low neckline and bright red lips.
“Evelyn, dearest, you look absolutely stunning.” the woman says as she opens glides (yes glides, like very sexy blimp) towards Evelyn who already has her arms stretched out wide.
“Morticia, it’s lovely to see you. Thank you for inviting us.”
The two women hug and air kiss each others cheek.
Then O’Connell drops his bags and wanders away from the house. “Come on out, Gomez!” he yells like the absolute cracked teapot that he is. He even pulls out his sword! “You aren’t getting the drop on me.”
“Yes, I am pleased you all were able to make it. The travel all the way from England must have been positively dreadful. How I envy you.” Morticia says as she pinches Alex’s cheek. “Jonathan, Fester is most excitedly waiting for you, it seems he procured some ancient wine from Greece that he’s been especially saving for this occasion.”
“Oh ‘Tish,” Jonathan says as he greets her politely, “don’t mind if I go bother that ol’ knob-head.”
“Ardeth,” Morticia says, “it’s so great to have you. Gomez is quite pleased with the statue. It’s been the talk of the party. Really, so many people are just ready to kill us for it.”
No one reacts to that statement so Izzy doesn’t either.
“Ah, it was the least I could do after that last fight we had. I have taught all my Medjai brothers that sword trick with the ankles. It is quite popular amongst the trainees.” Ardeth says and he smiles all chipper like.
There’s a scream and the clang of metal. O’Connell just barely parries an attack from a guy in an elegant looking suit that popped out of nowhere. (No, wait, there’s a hole in the ground.) Izzy is paralyzed because he can’t understand where they guy even came from and why no one else seems concern someone is trying to kill O’Connell right in front of them.
“O’Connell. Stupendous block. I could’ve cut your head right off had you been paying less attention.”
“Gomez! You’re swordsmanship is still in tip-top shape.”
“No my friend, it is you that have gotten quite skilled. I marvel at your talent!”
“Izzy?” Evelyn says, reaching out for him and distracting from the crazy combo attack that Gomez guy releases onto O’Connell. “Izzy, please meet our host, Morticia Addams.” Izzy allows himself to be pulled closer, “He was our pilot, when we went up against Imohtep that second time.”
Morticia beams and it literally sends chills down Izzy’s spine.
“Well met, Izzy,” Morticia says almost like a purr. “That story never gets old with all the death and chaos and destruction. It is a delight to hear it.”
“Oh nonsense, it was nothing. Just another day for the family.” Jonathan says, pulling Izzy along inside.
“Thank you for having me,” Izzy says trying not to sound too awkward as he’s led into the house.
Ardeth scurries along with them.
“Yes, yes, come on now. We’ve got a whole night of drinking and partying and oh, children, hello!” Jonathan says as two monochrome children stop their running to greet them.
They are literally monochromatic, their skin and clothes all shades of gray. Izzy has never seen such weirdly colored children in his life, not that he’s seen many of them to begin with. But Izzy has seen people and not once as he seen anyone so devoid of color that wasn’t already knocking on deaths door. Then Alex runs in.
“Pugsley!” Alex yells as he tries to tackle the boy but the boy has quite a bit more body weight and instead takes Alex down. Izzy immediately wants to step in (because that’s the kid he almost died trying to save and he’s not about to let his one good deed just kick the bucket in front of him) but doesn’t when Ardeth steps away and greets this giant tower of a gray man while Jonathan gives the girl a leather pouch. If neither of the other men are concerned, then should Izzy really be worried? (Alex and Pugsley roll around the ground, grunting and kicking and laughing, not all that dissimilar to how O’Connell and Gomez were fighting outside, except less lethal.)
“Blue Beatles from the desserts of Egypt!” Jonathan says loudly, “Nasty little buggers. When they hatch, they need to eat live flesh so make sure only your enemies are around when they do.” He pats the girls head as her eyes widen in delight.
“Your gift has earned you a night without tragic accidents, Uncle Jonathan,” the girl says as she opens the pouch. “I already know who will fall victim to these flesh eating insects.”
“Share them with your brother, Wednesday,” Jonathan says. He stands up straight and smiles kindly as the girl runs away. She calls Alex and that kid Pugsley and they immediately stop rough housing to chase after her. “Great girl," Jonathan says patting his thighs. "I see little Evy in her, all bright and happy and smart. Lurch! My good man! How have you been?”
Izzy fails to find any resemblance between between Evelyn and Wednesday but Izzy only met Evelyn as an adult so maybe she was a little off kilter back in the day. Who’s he to say? He can’t imagine a young Evelyn in pig tails because he gets distracted by O’Connell yelling outside looking like he’s having the greatest time of his life. Evelyn and Morticia walk into the house and close the door behind them, leaving the two men to continue fighting to the death like it’s no big deal.
The giant man, Lurch, takes Izzy’s bag and Izzy does nothing to fight him off more because he’s just stunned at the height of the guy and the skin that looks like it’s melting off. Ardeth pulls him forward where the music gets even louder. There’s a crowd of people, all mingling and looking like they are having a good time. The noise they make is not enough to drown out the music but it isn’t entirely unpleasant. Just the typical sounds of liveness one would expect at a party. What is kind of not pleasing is how pale everyone is, like they’ve never been kissed by the sun. The men all wear similar style outfits, dark but plain and the women favor lace and poofyness in muted colors. There’s is not a hint variety in these people. In all honesty, the fashion is tragic.
They really do look like the vampires from the story, though...oh glittering gold, they've really pulled a fast one on him again! Trust the O’Connell’s to be friends with vampires! These people fight mummies for a darn living, of course they knew the freaking soldiers of the devil! Why wouldn’t they! See? See? He knew he should’ve declined their invitation! He knew it! Instead of getting shot, the O’Connell’s were going to get Izzy bitten by a freaking vampire!
But then Izzy is given a large glass of this delicious smelling wine and he thinks to himself that there’s worse way to die. (No that’s a lie but he’s already in the belly in the beast. Maybe if he plays it cool he’ll make it out of there unscathed. Hopefully.)