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It was a dark rainy spring night. The room you were in wasn’t yours but it was the one you felt most comfortable in. You couldn’t tell what the time or date was.
You sat up on the bed you were laying in and sighed. You put his mixtape on and headphones in, blasting the music of your lost loved one as in hopes of bringing him back.
The night you got the news you broke down and locked yourself away from everybody. You didn’t even attend the trainings at the compound anymore. You pushed everybody away, including Nat, the one person who you got along with fairly well.
Your head throbbed every single sleepless night and your tears and sadness soon became just a wave of numbness and you couldn’t feel anything anymore. You longed to see him, to feel his touch, to be mesmerised by his voice again.
It got to a point that you even lost your appetite and could only stare at the ceiling for hours upon end. You ignored the world around you. It wasn’t worth to keep going without him. Everything was pointless and nothing could change that but him.
His room was the only place you managed to stay in. Yours became hostile and here, you could still feel a connection.
You didn’t move his stuff. Everything was left in the same place as before so when he finally came back, he wouldn’t be lost. His photos of him and Steve, him and you, the clothes left on his chair, the toothbrush in the blue cup next to the washbasin. The walkman with several mixtapes in the corner of the room, the bookshelf filled with works of literature he read.
The only things you moved were his t-shirts and dog tags. You wore them since the night and couldn’t take them off.
As another song that you two fancied came on, you sat up on the bed and rested your head against the bed frame. You looked into the dark room, hoping to finally let go, to finally be free of this nightmare, to see him again. You were used to your mind making up dark figures that looked like him now, it actually brought you closer to peace if that were possible.
You sighed at the sight of the shadow and brought your knees closer to your body. It was freezing in the room, but you were sure you didn’t open the window.
Suddenly you had this strange feeling in your stomach.
Could it really be him? Or were you slowly losing yourself in the madness?
You looked at the figure and blinked a few times so it would go away...
Only it didn’t.
You pulled your headphones down and shook your head. You leaned for the lamp switch to bring some light and find out it’s just a piece of furniture placed in a certain way so it looks like a person.
You almost screamed when the switch went on and a warm light spread across the room. It was Bucky, standing at the front of the bed, looking extremely tired.
You were both shocked. Bucky because he didn’t know he was going to get discovered. You because he was still alive.
You both stared at each other, you mainly looking for answers.
“What- how, why-“ you began but you had so many questions and your body was quicker than your mind. You stood up so quickly you became lightheaded.
Bucky was quick and helped you to stay on your feet when you lost your balance. He pulled you closer and you hugged him tightly.
You couldn’t hold tears back anymore. It’s been so long since you cried. Most of the time you just felt numb.
“Everything is okay now, I’m here, doll.” He spoke softly and placed a kiss on your head. You two stood there in silence for a moment, treasuring each other’s company.