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"I know of your dark secrets, Damian."
The somber words came from Anya as she had a hand on his desk and a serious look on her face. Damian, who was midly busy with a brought-to-home paperwork, briefly crumpled the paper on his hand, but kept calm as he stared at his wife through slitted eyes.
"I don't know the meaning of this."
"You do." She said in a silky tone, tilting her head. "You had a favorite stuffed toy when you were a child."
Damian felt his ears turn red, even if his face was unmoved.
"I did not."
"Oh, you did." She retorted with a knowing grin, a move from her finger signaling him to follow her out of the office.
Damian could only sigh as he left his papers and followed the woman to whatever proof she had of his dark past.
She brought them to the living room, but stopped before fully entering it, gesturing for him to keep quiet so they could watch the scene unfolding in front of the fireplace in secrecy.
"Agent Birdy, be careful!" Loid, sitting on the carpet, said alarmed as one of his hands held Mr. Griffin and the other a birdlike plushie whose color was too faded to make out at this point. "The UFOs will see you with their X-Ray telescopes!!"
"...Where did he find that?" Damian whispered in quiet shock.
"So you do know what it is." Anya said amused. "Apparently, Loid was peeking into Jeeves' cleaning of the attic and fixated on that plushie. Jeeves said it was your favorite thing."
"Sure, when I was 3." He said with a roll of his eyes and blushed cheeks. "This is embarrassing. Did they even wash it before giving to Loid? I could buy him newer stuff."
"I think they cleaned it, but does he look like he wants a new toy?"
Before he could answer, Loid seemed to sense the hidden presence of the adults and stopped his play. Getting up and bringing the new old plushie with him, he trotted over to Damian with bright and expectant eyes.
"Papa, can I have Mrs. Birdy? I promise I'll take good care of her and won't make her tired, because I know she's a senior lady." Loid said politely, reminding his etiquette classes that calling a woman "old" was a no-no. "If you miss her, I can give her back, no problems!"
All the reasons Damian had for Loid to drop that old toy vanished in thin air, because there's no way he would keep him from the right of having the damned bird. He was a Desmond, of course he could have it.
"...You can have it, Loid." He ended up saying with his face now redder than ever at the implications of him ever missing that toy. "I'm sure you'll take good care of it. I'm too old for toys, anyway..."
Loid blinked at the last part.
"But Mama has Agent Penguinman and she's a grown-up like you?" He thought about it more deeply and wandered out loud. "Are all adults too old for toys? Was my Mother's Day gift bad?"
Both parents held in a breath as they watched their too good for this world child questioning his choice of a gift, until Anya was the first to intervene.
"Of course not! I love Agent Penguinman, adults can play with toys just fine!" She looked at Damian and spoke through barely concealed gritted teeth. "Your father is not too old for toys, either."
Somehow Damian as become the villain of the story and he also blamed himself for bringing distress to Loid for even a second. As an apology, he took Mrs. Birdy from the boy's hands and hid behind it.
"Quick, Loidman, we need to fight the UFOs!" Of course, he had to do the voice. "Otherwise they will... Huh... Steal our croquettes!"
Kill me, he thought gripping the plushie for dear life in hope that would hide his face from the shame.
Anya caught on the act quickly and scrambled to join her husband on the play so he wouldn't have to suffer alone. Grabbing Agent Penguinman from the crowd of stuffed toys who took part in Loid's mission, she flapped the plushie's wing while also doing the voice.
"That's right! Our croquettes are in utmost danger!"
The blonde brightened up and then turned serious again as his role as a commander demanded.
"We need to destroy their telescope! To the spaceship!"
If Damian was more embarrassed for being seen around that bird plushie after all thise years or having to do The Voice, one couldn't be too sure. He still was awarded with a peck to the cheek by Anya for indulging on their dear son's dreams, even when not asking fot it.
(Not asking for a kiss obviously didn't equal as it being unwanted.)