Chapter Text
“Really, Nance? Me? At a party?” Robin scoffed, raising an eyebrow and staring at Nancy as if she had grown a second head.
“Oh, come on! It’ll be fun!” Wheeler insisted, shoving the flyer at Robin. Still, her excitement didn’t reach her eyes, her deep, beautiful, endlessly blue eyes that Robin could just drown in—
“Rob?”
Right, focus.
“I can’t drive,” she offered meekly. Nancy chuckled, rolling her eyes.
“Then I’ll drive you. I can pick you up at seven?”
Robin let out a long suffering sigh, knowing full well her answer would change if literally anyone else was asking her.
“Alright. I’ll go,” she groaned. Nancy smiled and Robin took the poster, nerves and a feeling of impending doom coiling in her stomach. She hated parties. She was an introvert, a wallflower, an outcast. She should absolutely be saying no. She was going to be miserable.
At least Nancy would be there.
“We need to relax a bit, anyway,” Nancy added, her gaze softening, a haunted glint in their depths. “Let loose, you know?”
Robin nodded, running a hand through her hair—a nervous tic she had picked up from Steve, of all people.
“Y-yeah, let loose,” she mumbled, still regretting her decision. But Nancy made a point. With Vecna defeated and everyone finally out of the hospital, it was about time they tried to return to normalcy.
“Will Steve be there?” she asked, glancing back up at Nancy. The girl shrugged.
“He and Eddie both, I think.” There was a strange note to her voice, something Robin couldn’t quite identify, but it struck her. It wasn’t something happy. Were things still weird between Nancy and Steve?
“Anyway, seven o’ clock. I’ll pick you up at home?”
“Yeah, sounds good Nance.”
Robin Buckley was well and truly doomed.
___
Nancy smiled as Robin climbed into her car, no longer in her simple sweater from earlier. She was now clad in a yellow plaid button up with a brown tie and brown jeans to match. It was handsome, Nancy had to admit.
“I still can’t believe I let you talk me into this,” Robin whined, crossing her arms and pouting at Nancy across the center console.
Nancy chuckled, flashing a patented, tight lipped Wheeler grin.
“Seriously, Nance, I’m going to make a fool of myself!” Nancy knew where this was going. A ramble was incoming.
“You’re not—“
“No, but I am! I’ve never been to a party, Nance, hell, I haven’t ever been invited to one!” Robin continued, the words spilling out almost too fast to really hear. “I’m just the socially awkward band kid that nobody talks to!”
“Robin.”
“Nobody will want to talk to me, or, or worse! They’ll all be weirded out that I’m there and everybody will stare —“
“Rob! Hey!” Nancy said, placing a hand gently on Robin’s knee and ignoring the way her stomach flipped when Robin immediately shut up and fixed her with that frighteningly intense but ever so soft icy gaze of hers.
“It’s okay. You can just stay with me. Or Steve, if you want,” she said. And no, her heart didn’t twist at the thought of Robin choosing Steve over her. “Or I can take you home, if you really want. I shouldn’t have pushed it.”
Robin gulped, finally shifting her gaze, instead staring in apparent surprise at Nancy’s hand on her leg.
“No, it’s okay,” she croaked, lips curling into a crooked smile. “I’ll survive. I’ve survived worse,” she joked half-heartedly. They both shuddered at that.
The rest of the drive was short and quiet, and Nancy couldn’t help but look over at Robin every few minutes, feeling guilty as she watched the freckled girl play with her hair or pick at her already chipped nail polish. Turns out shared trauma means really getting to know each other, and she was beginning to pick up on Robin’s nervous habits. If the way she kept messing with her rings and her tie or running her hand through her hair was anything to go off of, Robin was near terrified.
The car slowed to a stop, and Nancy put it in park. She turned to face Robin, a soft smile on her face. “You ready?”
“As I’ll ever be?” Robin chuckled, more of a question than an agreement.
___
The dread in Robin’s chest was not fading. Rather it was growing stronger and more frantic with each step towards the house, like a trapped animal in her rib cage, clawing and fighting to get out.
It only worsened when they entered the house and Robin was immediately overloaded. The music was loud, thrumming in her skull in a way that was almost painful. The air stunk of sweat and smoke and marijuana, burning in the back of her throat, and it was unbearably hot from the multitude of bodies packed into the home.
Robin screwed her eyes shut, forcing herself to breathe and trying to stop the jackhammer that was her heart.
Nancy held her hand like a lifeline, squeezing softly when she froze in the doorway. When she opened her eyes, Nancy was giving her a worried look, something akin to guilt in her knitted eyebrows.
“Do you want to leave?” she asked.
Yes .
“No, I’m fine,” Robin rasped, faking a smile. Nancy eyed her for a moment longer before dragging her into the crowd.
The two girls made their way to the kitchen, where Robin finally felt she could breathe again. There were less people here, and the conversation was quieter. Even the music was a bit more muffled.
Nancy turned to face her, gesturing with her free hand to the punch bowl.
“Would you like some pure fuel ?” she asked, smiling as though she had told a joke only she understood.
Robin eyed the people around her, then shook her head. She didn’t particularly feel like adding swimming vision and nausea to the list of things currently overwhelming her.
God, why had she agreed to this?
___
“Wheeler!” called an all too familiar voice, causing Nancy to turn and smile. She opened her arms as Eddie swooped in and hugged her tight, ruffling her hair. She shoved the man away with a grin.
“Munson,” she said coolly, raising an eyebrow. Eddie turned his attention to Nancy’s companion, raising an eyebrow of his own and looking utterly shocked.
“Well I’ll be damned, you convinced Buckley?” he mused.
“Surprise,” Robin said weakly. Nancy squeezed her hand reassuringly.
“ Shit , I owe Harrington a ten,” Eddie groaned. Nancy giggled, while Robin snorted.
“You bet on me coming?”
“I bet against it, actually,” Eddie laughed. Despite her obvious discomfort, Robin smiled, and Nancy smiled back. She hoped she could get the other girl to relax a bit—this was supposed to be fun. And if she wanted to dance drunkenly with Robin Buckley, well, that was her own business. It had been too long since she’d had a female friend, especially one she wanted to be a dumb, stupid teenager with. Since Barb, actually.
“Glad to see you feeling better,” Nancy said politely. Eddie grinned, raising his arms so that his cropped shirt rose higher, revealing the ugly, fresh scars the marred his lithe torso.
“I think the scars are pretty metal,” another voice spoke up, causing the three to turn. Robin immediately brightened at Nancy’s side, dropping her hand and launching herself at Steve.
“Dingus! You made it!” Buckley laughed, hugging him tightly. He returned the favor and rubbed circles between her shoulders. Nancy felt jealous as Robin sank into the touch, visibly relaxing.
Not jealous. No. She was over Steve.
“I’m going to get a drink,” she murmured, pushing past the couple and ignoring Robin’s bewildered face.
___
Robin watched Nancy go with confusion, unsure if she had done something wrong. Was it Steve? Nancy had told her they were over a long time ago. But sometimes people didn’t say what they actually meant or felt—that always really annoyed Robin. How hard was it to just say what you mean?
She turned her attention back to Steve, shooting him a mischievous grin before punching his arm.
“You asshole, you bet on me,” she pouted, earning a throaty laugh from Steve. He gave her a knowing look, his gaze flickering to Nancy.
She punched him again, an indignant fire in her heart.
“And I was right,” Harrington said smoothly, smirking as Eddie begrudgingly handed him a ten. “I knew I couldn’t convince you, but someone else could,” he teased.
“Shut up,” Robin growled, crossing her arms and sticking her tongue out at him.
“Real mature, Buckley,” Eddie laughed.
Robin’s doomed crush on one Nancy Wheeler had become a common topic at work, over which Steve teased her endlessly. Eddie too, when he visited. She was glad he was okay with her falling for his ex, but she couldn’t help but wish he was slightly less okay enough to leave her alone about it.
“I knew Wheeler had her charms, but I didn’t think even she could get you here,” Eddie added, slinging his arm around Steve’s waist and causing the man to blush vibrantly.
Well, at least she wasn’t the only one being teased recently. Anyone with eyes could see the tension between Harrington and Munson.
“Should I leave you two alone?” she taunted, laughing as Steve turned even redder. The man had only just tackled his own bisexuality, with help from Robin, so his crush on Eddie was her usual counter to his mockery.
Eddie knew about it too, by the smug look on his face.
“No need, Buckley,” Munson drawled, leaning into Steve a bit. “Harrington seems to have lost his tongue, not a very good conversationalist,” he laughed. Robin laughed with him, finally relaxing. It was easier to shut out the din of the party with her friends around.
___
Nancy watched her friends from the punch bowl, nursing her second cup already. She hated the anger that burned in her when she watched Steve and Robin. It was strange and ugly and she couldn’t figure out where it came from. She and Steve were on good terms—they had agreed months ago that they were better as friends.
Maybe it was because she was lonely. Robin was the only person she felt really listened to her. Steve had never done a good job of that before. Even Jonathan had lost touch—they had broken up not too long after Vecna’s defeat too, in part due to the growing distance, in part due to his lying, but even he never listened . No one ever had. Not the way Robin did.
When she was stressed about an exam, Nancy could go to Robin. When the men at the paper scorned her, Nancy could go to Robin. When she woke up screaming in the middle of the night, nightmares and memories clinging like shadows, Nancy could go to Robin .
And yet Robin didn’t seem to feel the same comfort with her, at least, not until recently. Still she felt more comfortable with Steve, and it made her jealous.
Oh.
Oh .
That was why she was jealous.
Nancy shook her head, confused at her own feelings now. Girls weren’t supposed to look at other girls the way she so desperately wanted to look at Robin. The way she wanted Robin to look at her . Her father would be furious. Her mother would be disappointed.
She turned away from her friends and downed her cup. She filled it again and chugged it. She was far too sober for this. Maybe alcohol could dim her thoughts.
___
Robin leaned against Steve, laughing until her ribs ached. The group had fallen into easy conversation while waiting for Nancy to return, and Robin was finally allowing herself to have fun.
Still, worry hung heavy and dark like storm clouds at the back of her mind, especially when Nancy didn’t return. She glanced over Steve’s shoulder to see Nancy on the dance floor—the living room—arms raised as she swayed and moved with the music. She was beautiful, Robin mused, the way her perfect curls hung around her face, framing her sharp jawline just so. Her lips shone red and her cheeks were flushed a beautiful rouge. Her eyes were closed, and she looked more at peace than Robin had seen her in, well, years.
And she was terribly, terribly drunk.
Nancy opened her eyes and grinned at Robin across the room, something impish in the expression that danced on her face.
The girl waded through the crowd and joined her friends, leaning unsteadily against the counter.
“Nance, are you drunk?” Eddie asked with a laugh, raising an eyebrow in surprise. Steve looked concerned, but said nothing.
“No, I’m perfectly sober,” Nancy drawled, the words slurring just enough to know she was lying.
Robin turned her head sharply in surprise when Nancy grabbed her hands and pulled her away.
“Dance with me, Robbie!” the girl crooned. Robin was surprised—but not really surprised—by her strength. She followed without thinking, eyes wide.
Nancy led her to the center of the crowd, stumbling once in her drunken state. Robin caught her, and Nancy stared at her with wide eyes and parted lips, the softest dusting of pink on her cheeks.
“Come on!” she laughed, recovering and taking a moment to listen to the music.
A Blondie song was blasting from the speakers, ‘Call Me’ by name.
“I loooooove Blondie,” Nancy slurred, letting go of Robin and waving her hands in the air. She continued to move with the music, singing along. Robin didn’t know what she was doing, but she tried to mimic the movement, feeling like a total spaz. She stepped on someone’s foot and got a dirty look in return. She apologized, but Nancy quickly caught her attention again.
Wheeler had grabbed her hands and was twirling herself in Robin’s grasp, laughing. Robin flushed, unsure exactly what life choices had ended with her here.
Nancy stumbled again, falling into Robin’s arms. Robin stepped back, nearly falling, but she managed to catch them both. She righted Nancy, concern taking over.
“Nance, you’re drunk,” she said, but Nancy ignored her.
“Just dance with me,” she whined, something pleading in her eyes.
So Robin did.
___
The world was spinning, but that was okay. Nancy’s head was buzzing and her limbs felt loose and her chest was warm and this was fine .
Vecna was gone. School was finally over. Her friends were okay. This was a time to celebrate. Not to mourn. Not to stress about the way her heart was pounding at Robin’s closeness and what it said about her.
Things were a blur as the alcohol settled in her bones, calming her anxiety. She remembered drinking a few cups of very strong punch. She remembered being jealous, but not why. She remembered dragging Robin to dance.
She loved watching Robin dance. The girl was uncoordinated—Nancy recalled her story of not being able to walk until six months after the other babies, and it made her giggle—but she was beautiful. Her hair’s soft waves bounced as she moved, and her expression eased. She seemed utterly shocked to have been asked to dance, and Nancy wondered why.
Anybody would be lucky to dance with Robin, she decided. She was so, so good. She was soft and fierce all at once. She was funny, even when she didn’t try to be. And as much as her rambling once drove Nancy crazy, it was something that had become endearing. Something that was so utterly Robin.
Robin who was looking at her now with only concern. Nancy knew she was overstimulated, and still Robin was only concerned for her.
Nancy could kiss her.
The thought made her heart flip.
The alcohol was certainly not suppressing her feelings at all. It seemed to be intensifying them, sending her mind and stomach both in a whirl.
“I-I‘ll be back,” she stammered, stepping away from Robin, half shoving her accidentally as she made her way to the bathroom, her mind spinning.
___
“Nance? Nance, are you okay?” Robin asked, watching as Nancy’s face twisted into something confused and almost fearful, then tinged green.
She tried not to be hurt when Nancy shoved her away, but it stung. Nancy disappeared into the crowd, and Robin was frozen.
It was too much.
It was all too much.
Her nose burned with the mingling scents in the air, and the music and laughter were assaulting her now. She could feel her chest tighten. She needed to get out.
Robin pushed her way back through the throng of people to the kitchen to find Steve, but he wasn’t there.
Shit, she didn’t have her bike, it was too far to walk, and Nancy clearly wasn’t driving her home. Steve was her only option.
Robin found her way down the hall, panic fluttering desperately in her chest. She opened a bedroom door, but the room was empty. She went to the next, before scrambling back in shock.
Eddie had Steve pinned to the wall, his lips pressed to the man’s throat, while Steve was staring in shock at Robin, kiss-swollen lips parted.
“I-I-I’m sorry!” she stammered, slamming the door and bolting.
God, why had she agreed to this? Why did she let Nancy get to her?
She should have listened to the feeling in her gut.
Robin sunk down against the wall, burying her face into her knees and trying to drown out all of the noises. The music was still too loud—some Madonna song now—and the drone of voices was drilling a painful hole in her skull.
Only, one sound was out of place.
There was one room left unopened in the hall. A soft sob could be heard behind it, muffled by the closed door.
Robin took a deep breath and approached. She knocked on the door.
“Go away,” a soft voice called.
___
Nancy didn’t want to talk to anyone right now. Despite her earlier conviction to Eddie, she was horribly, horribly drunk. The room around her seemed to be spinning, the ground beneath her unsteady. She was too warm and too tired and everything hurt.
“Nance?”
And of course the person behind the door was the one person that occupied Nancy’s mind far too often.
“G-go away,” she growled, but it was weak, and she hated herself for it. Hated herself for wanting Robin to come in. Hated herself for wanting Robin to embrace her tightly and comfort her in this moment of weakness. Hated herself for wanting Robin in a way she knew girls weren’t supposed to want other girls.
Hated hearing her father call a classmate a dyke. Hated imagining him calling her the same. Hated the way her schoolmates would shun her. Hated the way she cared.
The door creaked open, the noise sending sharp pain to Nancy’s temples. She groaned, her stomach twisting.
“Can I come in?” Robin asked softly, and Nancy noted the tears that streaked the freckled girl’s face. She didn’t respond—she was too ashamed to say yes, but too drunk to say no.
Robin closed the door with a soft click, then sat across from her, peering at her with gentle blue eyes. Nancy swore they held the sky.
“Are you okay?”
Nancy shook her head, nausea rising.
___
Shit, Nancy was not okay. Robin scrambled after Nancy as the girl flung herself at the toilet, retching. Robin held her curls back awkwardly, shushing and rubbing her back. She didn’t know what to say, so she just stayed, trying to help her friend the only way she knew how.
When Nancy was finished, she fell back against the wall, wiping her mouth. Her cheeks were flushed brightly, and her eyes were still watering. Robin stepped back to give her space, biting anxiously at her lip. She wasn’t sure what to make of the look on Nancy’s face.
“I’m sorry,” the girl slurred, closing her eyes and looking away. Robin didn’t think she’d ever seen her look so… Small.
“It’s fine, Nance. That’s what friends are for,” Robin said with a shrug. She ran a hand through her hair, trying to remember what Steve had told her about preventing hangovers.
“Nance, if I get you some water, will you drink it?”
Nancy didn’t answer. She just choked out another sob, burying her face in her knees.
Robin knelt by her again, cautiously bringing her into a tight hug. Nancy bawled into her shoulder, wetting her shirt with tears and snot, but she didn’t care. Not right now. Robin rubbed soft patterns against Nancy’s back, letting her let it all out.
The girl quieted after a while, but when Robin tried to pull away, she resisted.
“Nance, can I please get you some water—“ Robin began, but Nancy gave her a look that made the words turn to sand in her mouth.
“I wish you were a boy,” Nancy whispered, eyes widening as if she had shared a terrible secret. She stared for a long moment, pain swirling in the depths of her eyes. She looked completely and utterly broken .
Robin’s heart shattered. She suddenly understood, better than Nancy knew, and she wrapped the girl even tighter, trying to ignore her own pain in favor of comforting Nancy for the moment.
“It’s okay, Nance,” she murmured, voice cracking. Nancy shook her head, burying her face in Robin’s shoulder.
___
The words were said. The secret was out.
Nancy wanted to cry, but she had no tears left. Her stomach ached, but that was empty too. Everything was swimming. She was coming apart at the seams.
She wanted to go home.
Robin was home.
Nancy clung to Robin, terrified the girl would leave her, call her a freak and be done with her, but she didn’t. She just held her closer, her touch so soft and gentle and warm and safe that it hurt. Nancy didn’t have the strength to leave.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered again.
She allowed Robin’s warmth to soothe her, and her eyelids began to droop. This was probably the worst place for a nap, but she was exhausted and wasted and Robin was just so, so goddamn warm.
___
Robin rested back against the wall while Nancy curled into her, her crying quieting as she slipped into sleep. Robin was in shock, still, but she could worry about what Nancy had said later. Wheeler obviously needed to get home.
Robin didn’t want to move. She didn’t want to disturb Nancy, now that she had settled.
Thankfully, her knight in shining armor always seemed to sense when he was needed.
A knock came at the door.
“Rob? You in there?”
“Come on in, Steve,” Robin said, her own voice deepened and raspy with exhaustion.
Steve opened the door, and he and Eddie both looked down at the pair of girls on the floor. Robin met his gaze, knowing her expression must be grim. He nodded, something like recognition in his eyes at the sight of a terribly drunk Nancy. Robin recalled the story he had told her of a Halloween party a few years back.
“Can you drive us home? She was my ride,” Robin asked, her voice barely a murmur.
Steve nodded.
“I can drive her car,” Eddie offered. Robin nodded.
Robin very carefully crawled free from Nancy’s grasp, before scooping her into a bridal carry. She was heavier than she looked—she’d put on muscle over her time of monster fighting. Steve held out his arms, but Robin shook her head.
“I’ve got her,” she promised.
The three took the back door out, able to avoid most of the partygoers that way. Eddie took Nancy’s keys, and Steve opened the back door of his BMW so Robin could set Nancy in the seat.
Robin hesitated, before sitting with her, supporting Nancy’s head and rubbing absentminded circles across her arm and shoulder as she slept.
“What happened?” Steve asked from the driver’s seat as he backed his Beemer out of the driveway and then began to drive down the street.
“She drank too much and got sick,” Robin said, brushing a curl from the sleeping girl’s face. Steve glanced at them in the rear view mirror, his expression making it clear that he knew that wasn’t the whole story.
“I’ll tell you more later,” Robin promised. She met his gaze in the mirror. This was something Nancy needed to confront first, to speak out loud before anyone else did it for her.
“How about you and Eddie?” she asked, changing the subject. Steve quickly looked back at the road, but the mirror betrayed the red of his face and the curl of a smile on his lip.
“I’ll tell you more later,” he shot back, soft but still teasing.
“I can’t believe you kissed a boy before I kissed a girl,” Robin pouted, earning a laugh from Steve.
___
The rest of the ride was easy. It wasn’t a long drive, and Nancy stayed asleep through it.
Steve opened the door, so Robin could carefully pick up Nancy. Eddie parked Nancy’s station wagon and came up the driveway, his dark eyes shining with concern.
“I’ve got her from here,” Robin promised. The boys nodded and Eddie handed over Nancy’s keys.
By the time the two girls were at the door, Nancy was waking up. Robin set her down gently, but kept supporting her. She used Nancy’s keys to open the door and began to quietly lead her up the stairs.
They were nearly to Nancy’s room when a soft cough made Robin freeze.
“Robin?” Karen Wheeler whispered, looking up at them from the bottom of the stairs. Robin glanced at Nancy, and then at Karen, unsure what to say.
“I just wanted to make sure she got home safe,” she settled on.
Karen nodded, tired eyes softening.
“Thank you.”
Robin nodded. She turned and led Nancy the rest of the way.
“Nance? Do you want pajamas?” she asked as the door closed behind them.
Nancy sat on the bed and nodded, dark bags visible under her eyes. Robin knew this must be the side of her she always kept hidden from everyone. Nancy was a fighter and never let her friends see her look weak.
Except for Robin. That kind of scared her.
Robin dug through a few drawers before finding a simple set of pajamas, just a pullover t-shirt and soft pair of pants. She set them next to Nancy.
“I’ll let you change,” she murmured.
Robin left the room and crept down to the kitchen, coming face to face with Karen again.
“Is she okay?” the woman asked. The genuine concern in her voice made Robin’s heart ache—it wasn’t something she ever heard from her own mother.
“She’ll be okay,” the freckled girl promised.
Karen handed her a glass of water and a bottle of pills, which Robin took gratefully.
Robin hesitated as she turned to leave. She looked over her shoulder.
“Can I stay the night, Mrs. Wheeler?” she asked softly, not wanting to just leave Nancy—especially not after her revelation in the bathroom.
“Of course, Robin. And you can call me Karen,” the woman replied softly.
Robin nodded, before making her way back up the stairs.
When Robin re-entered Nancy’s bedroom, Nancy was changed, her now stained blouse tossed aside on the floor. She was laying on the bed, staring at the ceiling.
“Hey, Nance,” Robin said softly. Nancy sat up, and Robin offered her the bottle of pills and glass of water, which Nancy promptly took.
___
“I’m sorry,” Nancy murmured, for what must have been the hundredth time that night.
“It’s okay, really,” Robin replied. She looked over her shoulder at the window. “I’m staying the night, if that’s okay. I’ll sleep in the basement.”
Nancy frowned, hating that idea.
“Please—Stay,” she managed, voice rasping, words still slightly slurred as she turned tired eyes to Robin. The girl looked at her for a long moment, lips set in a grim line.
“Nance, you’re still drunk,” she said finally, and Nancy gave her an indignant frown.
Okay, maybe she was still feeling a bit of a buzz, but most of the alcohol was out of her system. She was just tired and she didn’t want to be alone.
“ Please , Robbie,” she begged.
Robin sighed, glancing out the window.
“Fine. I can—I can sleep on the floor.”
Before Nancy could interrupt, Robin was leaning out the window and waving to someone—Steve, Nancy guessed.
The window was closed and Robin turned to look at Nancy again. Nancy felt hot under her gaze, guilty for allowing herself to be in this state around the other girl.
“Will you hold me?” she whispered, unable to suppress the request. Robin mulled this over, then nodded.
“Yeah, okay,” she agreed, her words soft and husky. Nancy really did love her voice. Robin turned off the light and crawled into the bed, only removing her tie. She scooted closer, arms open so Nancy could nestle into them.
“Thank you,” Nancy mumbled, relaxing as Robin embraced with tightly, allowing the pressure to soothe her. She rested her face in the crook of Robin’s neck, breathing in her comforting scent—something woodsy and something flowery—lavender she guessed.
“We’ll talk in the morning, okay?” Robin said.
Nancy nodded. In the morning, they would talk. But for now, she pushed back her reeling thoughts and allowed herself to focus on Robin, and Robin alone.
“Goodnight, Robbie,” she whispered.
“Goodnight, Nance.”