Chapter Text
Sansa’s smile was flawless. She knew that because it was one she practiced and perfected in the mirror. Usually, when Jeyne took pictures and videos of her, it was for Instagram, Tiktok, or her YouTube channel. Though she was still a micro-influencer, that’s how she paid the rent. That and the money her mom loaned her each month to make ends meet. But every other year – when she feared the casting directors must have lost her previous applications or if she had gone through a breakup – Sansa and Jeyne would take fresh footage of each other to submit in an application to date the next Bachelor. Once, Sansa even got a callback, but that’s where it ended.
“I am ready to find love,” Sansa announced to the camera on Jeyne’s cellphone, a perfectly arranged background behind her. “My heart has broken again and again, but I refuse to give up. I know the one for me is out there. I believe in the Bachelor. I’ve watched it since I was a child so I know the process works. Because of this show, I learned not to settle for anything less than true love. I know I will make the perfect wife for the next Bachelor and I can’t wait to meet him!”
With a final tilting smile, she nodded slightly to signal for Jeyne to end the video. “How was it?”
“Perfect!” Jeyne enthused. “Here, you can use my phone to film me.”
Sansa forced herself to continue smiling. “Of course !”
Submitting Jeyne was such a waste of time. Only the most beautiful women made it onto the show. Even if they were desperate enough to add Jeyne, whoever became Bachelor would just send her home on night one. Girls like her never lasted. But that wasn’t a very nice thing to say out loud. So, Sansa kept her mouth shut as she recorded her friend going on and on about her hobbies and interests and how much she hoped Aegon would be the next Bachelor.
“How was it?” Jeyne asked once she finally stopped droning on.
“Perfect!” Sansa lied.
After linking all their social media accounts to their respective applications and submitting them, the two friends shared a bottle of wine and actively didn’t discuss Sansa’s latest failed relationship. Instead, they speculated over who the reigning Bachelorette would choose to marry and – more importantly – which of her cast-offs would rise to become the next Bachelor.
“Daenerys has to choose Aegon,” Sansa decided. “He’s as beautiful as she is. That means-”
“I hope not.” Jeyne grimaced. “That would leave Hizdhar, Tommy, and Daario. Ugh, or Quentyn.”
Sansa swallowed her annoyance at being interrupted along with another gulp of wine. “They could choose one of Arianne’s contestants or one of Bella’s. Dark Star was so hot on Bachelor in Paradise. I don’t care if he did threaten to kill Arys. He was so soft with Lucy. He’s ready for love with the right woman.”
“I don’t know what he saw in Lucy,” Jeyne said. “She was as gross as your sister.” She snorted. “What did we used to call her back in school?”
Sansa gave her a genuine grin and leaned over conspiratorially, though they were alone in her apartment. “Horseface.”
The two giggled, the wine supplying them with a heady giddiness like they were in school again.
“Can you imagine her on the Bachelor?” Jeyne gasped through laughter. “Whoever the Bachelor was would stuff her back in the limo, forget letting her into the mansion.”
“What if we submitted her?” Sansa said. “We could help her find love!”
They leaned into each other, laughing until they were gasping for breath.
Realizing the bottle was depleted, Jeyne hurried to pull out some more Arbor gold while Sansa whipped out her phone to get her sister’s journey to find love started. Maybe if the casting directors saw Arya’s nomination before Sansa’s, that would highlight just how flawless her own was.
On Insta, she found a shot of Arya at the restaurant she opened with her fat friend and her criminal friend. Quickly cropping the picture, she uploaded it to the application and waxed poetic about how much help her sister desperately needed to find love. Then she linked Arya’s Insta and Tiktok, giggling at the thought of the poor casting producer who would have to see the videos of her sister fencing and eating like a farm animal. By the time she hit submit, Jeyne was back and refilling their glasses. The other woman dropped her head on Sansa’s shoulder.
“What if we don’t make it in this season?” Jeyne asked. “We’re… 30 now. If we don’t make it onto this one…”
When we do make it on, the other contestants will call us old ladies, Sansa silently finished for her. Nearly every year, the younger women would point out what a disadvantage the older women were at in the competition. Sometimes it would come out as pity. Other times… not so much. And truly, how had they not found a husband by 25 years old? Sansa was certain she would never have that problem. How could she when she was always mistaken for a teenager? Everyone who carded her at restaurants and nightclubs said so. Jeyne also wouldn’t have that problem since she would never be cast.
“We’ll make it in this year,” Sansa assured her dearest friend.
The very next day, a casting director finally reached out to her. Luckily, she had just finished filming a video for her YouTube channel, Traditionally Sansa. So her hair, makeup, and background were all on point in case they shifted over to a Zoom call. But as it turned out she didn't have to worry about that.
“Hello there! We received the nomination you submitted for Arya Stark and we just had a few follow-up questions,” said the exuberant voice on the other end of the call. “Do you have a few minutes to chat?”