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English
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Published:
2015-06-12
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770
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1/1
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Shut Up, Solace

Summary:

In which Will is transgender and can't seem to figure out how to say it.

Work Text:

"Nico?" The dark-haired boy made an incoherent sound of acknowledgment. Will's arms were wrapped around his torso, his face nestled into Nico's hair, his warm breath hitting the side of Nico's face with each word, and, oh gods, Nico had never felt more at home. "Can I... Can I talk to you about something?"

"Isn't that what you're doing now, Solace?" A lazy half-smirk crossed Nico's face, always taking any change he could to tease the ray of sunshine wrapped around him.

Will shook his head, ruffling Nico's hair. "You know what I mean."

Nico sat up and away from Will's grip, pulling his knees up to his chest and wrapping his arms around them. He tilted his head to the side, studying Will carefully for a moment. "Are you okay? Is something wrong? Did something—"

"Nico." Nico smiled softly, that barely-there smile that only Will could make him do. He muttered an apology and waited for the other boy to continue. "No, nothing's wrong. I just... You love me, right? Like, no matter what?"

Nico frowned. "Are you sure you're okay? Of course I love you."

A soft chuckle left Will's lips. "Sorry. It's just... I don't know how to say this, and I really want to tell you before you find out on your own, and I'm so scared that you might've already figured it out, and I'm just really—"

"Hey. Shut up, Solace. You're rambling. Whatever you have to say, just tell me." He took Will's hand in his own. "Now, take a deep breath, and go back to what you were trying to say."

Will did as Nico instructed and took a few seconds to level his breathing. "Okay. Sorry, again. So, I don't really know how to tell you what I have to tell you, so just listen and don't interrupt me. Let's say there was a girl. And she didn't feel like a girl. There was something inside her that was screaming, trying to claw its way out, but she ignored it because she was young and figured that everyone had these feelings. Then she got older and the feelings didn't go away, so she decided to ask her parents about it. Thankfully, they understood, and let her express herself as the boy that she felt like. So now, he felt so much better. He knew that this was who he was supposed to be, not the girl that he was born as." Will stopped, looking at Nico. "Does this make any sense?" Nico nodded, so he continued speaking. "But not everyone wanted to accept him. And that's why he's so nervous now, trying to explain all of this to his boyfriend."

Nico's eyes widened and it was like all of the cheesy metaphorical puzzle pieces fell into place. "So... So you're saying that you...?" Will nodded, his eyes locked on some spot to the right of Nico's face, refusing to meet the other boy's eyes. "But, wait, you don't— I mean, you— Can you please explain more? I'm sorry, I just— I understand but I also don't understand. Reminder that I'm from a different time and things like this are sort of foreign to me." He smiled softly at Will. "But that doesn't change anything about how I feel about you."

His smile was returned by Will, much to his delight. "Yeah! Yeah, I understand what you're saying. And I thought about that, too, about how you might not totally understand. But that's okay. Just... You're okay with it, right?"

"Of course."

Will smiled that big, blinding, the-entire-sun-lives-in-my-grin smile that could melt Nico in a heartbeat. Not like he would ever admit that. "Great! That's— Wow, that's great. I just wanted to get that out of the way before, like, y'know, things got any more... serious." His cheeks turned a light shade of pink, which Nico pretended not to see. "Because, like, obviously I had the top surgery, but..." He laughed softly. "Sorry, I feel like this is just really awkward. You're still okay with this, right? I just... I understand if you're, like, uncomfortable or anything and—"

"Stop." Nico put his hand that wasn't holding Will's hand against Will's cheek, trying to get him to meet his eyes. "Just look at me." And he did, because he loved Nico's eyes more than he would ever admit—although he certainly had mentioned it frequently enough. "I love you, and even though I'm still not quite sure I completely understand this, I know that you're my boyfriend and that's all that matters. Okay?"

Another one of those breathtaking smiles landed on Will's face. "Okay."