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I’m going to watch myself fall in love over and over, and I’m okay with that.
Wind gently breathed through Jack’s hair as he stood on the deck of the lake- the setting sun lighting his back as he blinked with pale blue eyes. Giggles fluttered through his ears as his expression remained simple- one that was only drawing in information.
Xavier was clinging onto Avery, both of them jokingly attempting to throw the other into the lake as their feet thumped the wooden deck, grins stretched across their faces. The orange rays of the sky lit their silhouettes perfectly, stumbling until Xavier stood on his toes to reach up and kiss Avery- both their laughs silenced at that moment- but they still smiled into each other’s faces.
A giggle from Xavier is what broke them apart- the smaller man one last time pretending to try and shove Avery into the lake- to which Avery let out a loud scream and began laughing, resisting his feigned strength easily.
I’m going to watch myself fall in love over and over, and I’m okay with that.
Jack’s ears hurt ever so slightly as he heard the clinking of silverware against a plate. He tugged his face into a frown as he looked up, but couldn’t help but relax his muscles at the sight of Xavier using the hand that had been holding the fork before to now rest it on Avery's face. Avery looked over, eyebrows up in curiosity, however, they quickly furrowed when he saw Xavier gesture to his cream pie. He obviously couldn’t pretend to be mad for long, because a few moments later he was feeding him some of it- both of them softly snickering to themselves.
Everyone else was at the table- all of their friends, but this intimate moment was theirs and theirs alone- no dialogue or anything. It didn’t matter that Jack was watching. They were in their own little world they created for themselves.
I’m going to watch myself fall in love over and over, and I’m okay with that.
The bubbling of the tv just barely held Jack over the edge of falling asleep, some commercial about car sales as he blinked tiredly. His gaze shifted to look to his right- on the couch were also Xavier and Avery, both curled up in a blanket together and laying with one another. Xavier was rambling about something unintelligible, and Avery was gently nodding along as he absentmindedly gnawed on some popcorn. He replied with something once he finished chewing, and Xavier laughed.
It didn’t take long for them to kiss softly, Avery laughing slightly after they did so. Something so small but so tender- Xavier has his thumb gently rubbing circles on Avery's forearm, and Avery had his hands in Xavier’s hair, gently playing with one of his curls. Xavier laid his head against Avery's chest, sighing softly.
Jack watched their interaction- his heart tugged in a painful way, one that burnt slightly but he just let it. He smiled softly, eyes fluttering to a close.
I’m going to watch myself fall in love over and over, and I’m okay with that.
They were in line for tickets for a movie- all of the friend group, however, Xavier and Avery were behind Jack. He could hear them blabbing to each other on and on- Xavier’s laugh was what made Jack turn around.
He was hanging off of Avery's arms, grinning ear to ear as he used him to support himself. Avery chuckled to himself as he tried to hold Xavier’s weight- and Xavier dipped his legs down and swung on his arms, to which, after a moment, Avery buckled and they both burst out laughing. Once Xavier’s feet were planted back onto the ground, they locked lips.
It was like he could feel the weight on his own arms, like he was meant to be there, but he wasn’t. It almost hurt, in a way, and he pondered for a moment that it could be withdrawals before he shut that down. It wasn’t just his arms, he could practically feel Xavier’s breath on his neck, too.
The only thing that broke Jack out of staring was when the ticket dealer asked him what movie he was here for.
I’m going to watch myself fall in love over and over, and I’m okay with that.
The squeaking of an old rusty swing set sang through the air as Jack looked over from the swing he sat in- seeing Xavier next to him absolutely hysterical with amusement as Avery pushed him. His body soared into the air- his legs splayed out until he came crashing back into Avery, who pushed him back again.
The sun was melting into the horizon, going from buttery yellow to fiery orange.
The flames the sun painted with the trees roared. Jack felt his heart roar back but swallowed it, shutting his eyes tight as possible as if it would drown out the sounds of their love- gripping the chains of his swing until they rattled. For a second, he only felt the rotting iron on his hands and the ringing in his ears from the pressure in his head, until he was there for too long and could hear through the veil he created for himself. He untensed his face and hands, exhaling softly and looking back.
The fire in his heart turned into comfortably warm embers as he saw them smiling. He wanted to be buried in their smiles.
He didn’t think he would ever be afraid to die until he saw Xavier’s smile for the first time, where he knew that, if he was dead he’d never see it again.
He didn’t care that he would never press his lips to Xavier’s. As long as that smile remained on his face the world's axis was tilted a little less. As long as laughter tumbled out of that boy's lungs the grass felt a little greener. As long as those brown eyes kept that lively shine in them the sunset seemed a little friendlier.
I’m going to watch myself fall in love over and over, and I’m okay with that.