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“Yusuke?”
“Yes?”
“Why is Kadoya asleep on my couch?”
Ichijou Kaoru is expecting a dumb excuse, maybe something to do with Super Hero Taisen and what his coworkers described as a nearly world ending breakup.
He is not expecting what Godai Yusuke says.
“…Onodera-Kun and Hikari-San died,” Yusuke says. “I had a feeling Kadoya didn’t want to be alone.”
Oh. Oh .
Kaoru takes another look over Kadoya, his hair darker than usual, his clothes clearly barely put into an outfit which looks something close to together.
Yusuke, clearly also in shock about the whole thing. He hadn’t said a word on his side of Super Hero Taisen, but he rarely likes to talk about his equally rare calls back to action.
Clearly the “my soul brother is dead” was news, though. One thing they both know: it is very difficult for anything close to a Kuuga to die, and, thanks to Kadoya, Onodera was more than Kuuga.
“What happened?” Kaoru can’t help but ask. Yusuke looks down.
“Something hit the belt,” he explains. “That’s all Kadoya managed to say. He apologized already for involving me in the Superhero War, don’t worry.”
“I won’t harass him while he’s grieving,” Kaoru says. Yusuke smiles, a little.
“I know,” he says. “But I wanted to tell you. They had no choice. Or maybe they did, but they were too pressed for time. Him and the pirate, Captain Marvelous. They did it to stop something much worse.”
It’s still not fair to you , Kaoru wants to say, but it’s not words with much meaning. They both already know. What surprises him, remembering when Ultimate Kuuga fought Decade and re-shattered some part of Yusuke’s soul, was the fact that it was followed by It’s not fair to Kadoya, either.
Maybe it’s just because the younger man is asleep, clutching at his blanket, that Kaoru realizes, for the first time, how young Kadoya is. Godai was 24. Kadoya was… he’d already been Decade for some time when Kadoya sent Dai-Shocker after this World. 16? 18 at most.
It hits Kaoru suddenly that he’s been angry at a hurt child only when the man is barely 23.
Yuusuke isn’t sure how to ask the question, but it stays with him all the time.
“Hey, Godai-San?”
“What’s up?”
“How do you deal with knowing you’ll outlive Ichijou-San?” Yuusuke asks. “Outlive… everyone, really. I mean, Tsukasa will probably live forever, Fangire like Wataru and Kuuga like us can live a long time too, but Natsumi and Daiki are human.”
(Natsumi is not human, but he does not know that yet.)
Godai looks stricken. Yuusuke winces.
“Sorry,” he says. “Awful question, just forget it—”
“I try not to think about it,” Godai replies. “They’re here now. Life is finite, even for us.”
Yuusuke looks down. He knows that well enough. He’s died enough to know.
“And when they’re gone, they’re still in our hearts,” Godai says. Yuusuke nods.
“I know,” he says. “And at least I’ll still have you and Tsukasa, always. I don’t think Tsukasa would do well on his own.”
They never talks about it again.
Kadoya wakes up, and he all but jumps up, and that hurts, Godai Yusuke thinks.
A lot of things do, starting with the realization that Onodera Yuusuke, the man who escaped Kuuga’s weight by holding up Decade’s instead, is gone, is dead, and Yusuke refuses to say it out loud, but he knows. It must have been agonizing. The Amadam is all nerves, and the pain…
He hopes it was quick.
“Godai-San,” Kadoya says. Yusuke knows he is one of the only Riders from this World that Kadoya calls by name, knows it’s because Kadoya noticed Kuuga and Yongou still hurt. He thinks it might kill Kadoya if he says that Godai notices the change and is grateful. “Thank you. I’ll be on my way.”
“It was the least I could do,” Yusuke says. “How are you feeling?”
Kadoya shrugs.
“I’m alive,” he says. “We all have our Roles to play.”
“Or you could just be you,” Godai says, but he doesn’t think Kadoya is willing to listen.
“I doubt that’s in the works for me,” Kadoya says.
“At least stay for breakfast?”
“…”
Kadoya’s mask drops, just a little, and oh. Right.
Onodera is dead.
Yusuke’s soul twin. One who he knows shares some of the same more complicated recipes, much less breakfast dishes.
(Yusuke thinks about Onodera, about his bright face and brighter attitude and knows he’s cooked Kadoya breakfast in bed and suspects Kadoya would mock it, just a little.
Because Decade is a hero but Kadoya is definitely a bit of an asshole.)
“…or not,” Yusuke says.
“I could cook,” Kadoya says. “In thanks. Does your partner work today?”
“Yes, he’s already gone.”
“Ah.”
Yusuke shrugs.
“It’s alright,” he says. “I’m glad you could stay. You looked like you needed it.”
The surprise in Kadoya’s eyes… Yusuke knows problems were mounting in the relationship even before Onodera and Hikari died.
(That couldn’t help with the loss barely hiding itself in Kadoya’s eyes.)
He probably hasn’t heard that in some time.
“And yes,” Yusuke adds. “I wouldn’t mind if you made food, either.”
And the mask is back on. Yusuke understands.
He hopes he helped.