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How can you love someone who doesn’t want to be loved or doesn’t believe in love?
If it wasn’t for Kuroko, Team Seirin would’ve taken longer time to figure out Furihata Kouki had the Hanahaki disease.
Everyone’s first reaction was “why did Furihata keep this from us”. Feeling betrayed that their friend didn’t trust them, the team had already made a plan how to save Furihata from dying.
Either Furihata’s feelings get returned or he has a surgery. It harder than it sounds, especially when they found out who Furihata is in love with.
None other than,
“AKASHI?!” Kagami screamed. “Of all people, Furi is in love with Akashi fucking Seijuro?”
Fukuda threw his hands up. “There is no point confess to Akashi-san. We have to convince Furi to get an operation instead.”
Most of the team agreed on that. Even though they didn’t want Furihata to have a surgery. One side effect from the surgery was the loss of feelings and senses. It was like a person becomes a robot after the surgery.
Kagami has meet a couple of people who’ve had the Hanakhi surgery. Their eyes looked so lifeless... A shiver went down Kagami’s spine. “Ugh...”
“Maybe we should tell his family?”
“You know Furi isn’t on good terms with his parents.”
Furihata hadn’t gone in detail about his relationship with his parents, but they knew the emotional abuse they did on Furihata. Which is the reason why Furihata moved to Tokyo and lived alone.
“Oh... I guess it’s to late to delete the message.” A familiar voice was heard out of nowhere.
“KUROKO!” The team jumped in air. Like always, they didn’t sense Kuroko until he spoke.
“What do you mean by that?” Riko question.
“I told Akashi-kun that Furiha-“
“YOU TOLD AKASHI?!” They all shouted.
“You can’t just confess tell Furihata’s feelings to Akashi-san!” Riko shouted, a dark aura started to surround her.
“Oh... sorry.”
“Look who’s here.” Kuroko showed no emotion, but Furihata could hear the fondness in his voice. He turned around to caught a red hair, immediately recognising it as-
“Sei-kun!” Furihata beamed, almost skipping to the other boy with happiness.
“Kouki.” Akashi nodded, giving him a small smile.
Seirin watched the two boys interact.
Furihata’s mood had been down, but it went up just by Akashi’s arrival. No one understood how the boys got so close, but it seemed like they’ve been friends for ages. Akashi actually looked like a normal teenager whenever he interacted with Furihata. Furihata laughed at something the other boy said while Akashi tilted his head, enjoying the other boy’s reaction.
“I’m really glad you’re here, but don’t you have school tomorrow?”
How Akashi stare shifted from him to his teammates didn’t go unnoticed for Furihata.
Akashi grabbed the Seirin’s hand, slipping his fingers between. Furihata’s heart fluttered on the action, face gone red.
“How about we go to a more private place?”
Furihata could only nod dumbfoundly, not trusting his voice.
“He is totally going to murder Furi.”
“....”
“Kouki, I know your feelings about me,”
What? Was the first word that appeared in Furihata’s head. How did he know? No one expect Furihata knew it. It was suppose to be a secret. “And I know of your condition-“
For Furihata, everything froze. He couldn’t hear the words coming out of Akashi anymore. All he could hear was the last sentence Akashi said. He didn’t realize how far gone he was until he felt a hand on him.
“Kou-“
“You don’t deserve love”. His mother had said.
Furihata stiffened, slapping the hand away. A flash of his mother appeared in his head, and Furihata was unsure if his heart were beating because of that or Akashi.
“I- S-Sorry.” Furihata’s eyes didn’t meet the other, but he could hear the sigh.
“It’s fine. Though, we should talk-“
“There is nothing to talk about.” Furihata interrupted, his hands formed into fists.
“What do you mean? There is clearly something we nee-.”
“No it’s not.” Interrupted again, a wave of confidence came out of nowhere. He looked up and made eye contact with a wide, red eyes. “Do you return my feelings?”
“No. Howev-“
“Then there is nothing to talk about.”
Furihata clearly had a dead wish interrupting the Akashi for the third time. The red haired boy looked like he was caught unguard, not knowing what to say. Furihata took this moment as an opportunity to escape.
Furihata walked back to the school, grabbing his backpack that he left behind.
There stood his team, arguing among themselves. It clicked for Furihata how Akashi knew his feelings. He didn’t know the details but someone from the team must’ve found out his feelings and Kuroko told Akashi.
“I know you guys had good intention,” Furihata starts, not looking up. Looking at them only made him angry. He didn’t know if it was because he got betrayed by his friends or because Akashi rejected him. “But you have no right to tell him.”
“We only wanted to help.” Fukuda said, the guilt in his voice
A mumble of agreement broke between them, each member trying to apologise or explain themselves.
“We thought this was the best for you.” Furihata heard a distance voice. “I’m only doing this for you good.”
Clenching his fists, “You had no right!” Furihata snapped. “It’s my truth to tell, not yours. Don’t make decisions like that for me!”
The team had a matching shocking expressions, none of them expecting Furihata’s reaction.
A sigh left Furihata, he already regret snapping at his friends and taking his anger out at them. He hope they understood his meaning, but-
“The damage is already done. Whatever.” Furihata turned around and walked away, ignore the shocking stance he left his team.
“This sucks...” Furihata mumbled on his pillows. He ignored the notification sound from his phone and the pain from the Hanahaki.
Furihata was still trying to wrap his head around what happened. He didn’t know if he wanted to cry from the rejection or be angry at his friends. Lying there, a sound from the doorbell was heard from his room. Furihata looked at the clock. It was 9 pm.
“Who are visiting me so late?” He hoped it wasn’t his friends. He’s still annoyed at them.
Opening the door, he made eye contact with familiar red eyes.
“Oh... Sei.”
Akashi immediately pushed Furihata away from the door and steeped in. He closed the door with his foot and held Furihata’s shoulders, not letting him escape.
“Kouki, please let me finish speaking.” Furihata had never seen Akashi so... desperate. “I can’t return your feelings but I don’t want our friendship to end, no, I can’t let this friendship end. This may seem selfish of m-“
“Sei...” Furihata said softly, but the red haired boy kept talking.
“I can also help with your condition. I can get you the best doctors ou-“
“S-Sei.”
“And you don’t have to worry about-“
“S-Sei!” Furihata shouted, tears started to stream as he stepped into Akashi’s embrace. “I don’t need doctors or money.”
“But you have the Hana-“
“I just need...” Furihata buried himself in the other boy’s neck. “You to hold me.”
Furihata felt Akashi shift as he locked his arms around him.
Right now, what he needed was to be held together while he broke down in pieces.
The relationship between Team Seirin and Furihata got more... distance.
Furihata apologised to the team for how he reacted. And they apologised for confessing his feelings for him. They went back to how it was normally, but didn’t say anything of his Hanahaki disease.
Kagami mention it once and Furihata told him that he didn’t want to talk about it. Riko went easier on Furihata than the others, which only made the brown haired boy even more frustrated. Furihata did hang with them in his free time and on school, but he didn’t share so much either.
After a while, they stopped asking Furihata about his disease and instead picked him up whenever he broke down in the toilet after a violent coughing episode.
However, Akashi Seijuro was a whole another case.
He forced kindly asked Furihata to see a doctor. The doctor had said the disease wasn’t deadly yet, but needed to be treated in couple of months before it killed him. The doctor could delay it a couple of months extra but a surgery needed to be done sooner or later.
Everyday Akashi asked Furihata to get the operation. It came to the point where Akashi almost begged, yes, begged Furihata to get the operation. But stubborn as always, Furihata refused.
“You have to get the surgery!”
The servants near Akashi’s room retreated as soon as the heard the loud voices.
It was normal for the boys to sleep over at each other’s house. Thought, Furihata only visited Akashi when his father wasn’t home.
“How many times do I have to tell you I don’t want to!” Furihata screamed back.
Akashi clenched his fists, taking a deep breathe to control his anger. “Kouki... You know this is for the best.”
Furihata didn’t look up at his friend, nor answer him.
“Please Kouki. Please get the operation.”
“If you...” Furihata began, running his hand through his hair. “If you don’t stop pushing me to get the operation, I will not talk to you anymore.”
“W-What?” Akashi stuttered, once again loosing his poker face.
“Either you stop talking about my disease or you stop talking to me.”
“Are you... are you making me choose between our friendship or your life?”
“Your choice.”
“Are you serious making me choose?”
Furihata still didn’t meet his eyes. The other boy tried to step closer, but it made Furihata step back.
Akashi took a step back himself, controlling his face expression once again, while ignoring the stab of pain in his chest. “You’re putting me in a difficult position here.”
Once again, the brown haired boy didn’t answer. Instead, he coughed up petals matching Akashi’s hair.
“If I have to lose our friendship in order for you to live, then I’ll gladly lose it.” Akashi finally answered, watching the other boy holding his chest in pain.
The sounds of unsteady breathing fill the room. Furihata held himself up and looked at the boy he loved for last time.
“Then I’ll take the next train home.”
“What, gone? For a week?!” Akashi shouted over the phone as he ran out of his school. “Have you visited him?”
“No, he hasn’t been answered the doorbells. Kagami-kun was able to find the hidden key and Furihata wasn’t inside in the apartment.” Akashi could hear the anxiety in Kuroko’s voice. “I-I don’t know what to do.”
Akashi clenched his jaws. He shouldn’t have let Furihata leave so easily. If it wasn’t for him, Furihata wouldn’t ditch the school for a week and gone missing.
“Don’t worry Tetsuya, I’ll find him.” Ending the call, Akashi called someone else.
“I need Furihata Kouki’s file.”
“As always, you’re slacking off.” Furihata Yui scoffed. “We shouldn’t have sent you to Tokyo, what a waste money.”
“Sorry...” Furihata mumbled.
“Talk clearly, boy.” Furihata Kuro looked at his son with a hard look.
“Yes, father.” The younger boy answered, this time straightened his back and spoke louder.
Furihata couldn’t hate his life more than now. His favourite aunt - the one member in his family that he felt safe with - had died. It wasn’t surprising since she had been sick for a long time, but it still hurt. His parents - as always - treated him as shit. His love of his life wasn’t his friend any longer and he had no way of contacting his friends since his phone fell down the toilet.
At least his parents had informed the school that he wouldn’t attend.
“We’re going out. Do the dishes.” Furihata thanked God for making his parents leave. He was about to go mad if he had to spend one more day inside his room, without no entertainment. His parents had occupied the living room and there was no way he would spend more unnecessary time with them.
Furihata heard the door open, but never it shutting. Instead, he heard voices. It was a new voice, but a familiar one. Walking towards the voices, a familiar red-hair stuck out.
“Sei?”
“What a nice friend you have here. You should have introduce us sooner.”
That must have been the first time his parents gave him a compliment, Furihata thinks.
Akashi - as always - was charming and made Furihata’s parents easily fall in love with him. Soon the adults left and let the teenagers stay behind.
A cup of tea was placed in front of Akashi.
“Thank you.”
“No problem.” Furihata avoided eye contact.
“What are you doing here?” He asked, not beating around the bush.
“Condolences for your loss.”
Furihata straightened his back and spoke with a clear voice. “Thank you Akashi-san.”
He should’ve asked how he knew, but Furihata stopped. He knew Akashi had his ways, and honestly he couldn’t blame the other boy since Furihata disappeared without no warning.
Akashi gripped his tea cup harder, but there was no other body movements.
“I accidentally lost my phone in the toilet when I was having one of my…” Furihata didn’t know which words to use, but the other boy understood him.
“When are you planning to return?”
“Tomorrow.”
“Then let’s return together. My driver is here.” Akashi offered, maybe this was a chance for them to become friends again. He wasn’t sure what he had to do, but he couldn’t let-
“Sure.”
Oh. Akashi blinked. That easily?
“I need to save up money to fix my phone.” Furihata explained.
Oh.
The boys sat there for a couple of minutes in awkward. Furihata had never spoken in that way to Akashi, he seemed so uninterested. Akashi shifted around the seat. Was this the feeling of feeling annoying?
“Kouki-“
“Furihata. Only my friends can call me that.”
“Oh-, I… My apologies Furihata-San.” His voice wavered.
Something in Furihata broke, when he saw how hurt Akashi was. His eyes widen and got a bit wet, and mouth was tightened.
Furihata didn’t have the heart to be so cold to Akashi, a person who cared and loved him - as a friend - Because Furihata wasn’t like his parents, he couldn’t become like them.
“No, I’m sorry… Sei-chan.” As Furihata let his head down, Akashi’s shot up with hope in his eyes. “I shouldn’t treat you like this. Especially when you only care about me.”
“Kouki…” Akashi tested the water. The other boy didn’t react negative to it, so he continued. “Kouki, It’s obvious I crossed your boundaries. Yet, I won’t change my decision. I want you to keep living.”
“I know, I-.. I kn-know…” Furihata’s voice started to waver. His hair hid his teary eyes. “I should do the operation, I fucking know that okay? There’s no one other person whose thought about that more than me… But I refuse to… I refuse to live my rest of life as your father is.”
And with that, Furihata broke down. Again, Akashi felt a feeling of helpless. All he could do was to stare at his dear friend crying.
“Sei…” Furihata looked up, tears streaming close to his red nose. “S-Sei… Please…”
Akashi had moved out of his seat, now standing beside the other boy. His hands cupping Furihata’s face.
“Tell me, my dear Kouki,” Akashi whispered, his heart breaking to see Furihata being in this state. “What can I do for you?”
Furihata knew Akashi only saw him as a friend. Their relationship was strictly platonic. Nothing more. It was nothing more than that. But yet, he couldn’t help himself. Not when Akashi spoke to him in that way.
“Please…” Furihata spoke low. “Take me away from here. Take me back to Tokyo.”
“As you wish.”
They were nothing more than friends. But for today, Furihata would act as if Akashi was his Prince Charming.
Akashi stroked the brown hair resting on his lap. The car ride back to Tokyo wasn’t so far away. But they drove in silence, as Furihata was sleeping.
Akashi treasured moments like these, especially after everything that has been going on. Never did Akashi think he would have a friendship like this, he just wished they could’ve stayed friends without any problems.
But the universe was cruel.
It almost as if it wasn’t enough that his mother had died of the Hanahaki disease. His father had also had the Hanahaki disease, but operated it. Akashi had wondered if his father would’ve loved his mother if he hadn’t had the operation.
Akashi couldn’t blame Furihata for not wanting life as his father. All his childhood, Akashi hadn’t received affection since his mother had died. It’s not like his father intention was to be cold and distant, he didn’t have any choice.
Akashi had been to busy convincing Furihata to do the operation, that he didn’t conceder his feelings at all. All Akashi cared about, was not losing Furihata because he couldn’t handle the pain of losing someone again.
It hurts knowing he would lose another important person in his life. But he couldn’t do anything against it. So until that moment arrives, Akashi decided to enjoy every second with Furihata.
Akashi watched Furihata barely breathing through the laughter, the outer corner of the eyes wrinkles and his face flushed.
Oh.
“Oh...” Akashi said. The feelings he got around Furihata made finally sense.
“Are you okay?” Furihata stopped his laughter, there was a smile on his lips but his eyes worried. “Is there somethin-“
“I think I like you.”
Akashi watched the other boy’s expression turn blank. Furihata had always been an open book for Akashi, easy to read. But this... Akashi has never seen Furihata so... emotionless. Finally, after a few heartbeat, Furihata reacted. He smiled, but it was tight and didn’t reach his eyes.
“You need to focus on the show!” Furihata changed the subject.
Akashi could only stare at the boy who didn’t answer his confession.
Late at night, Furihata rushes into the bathroom.
His chest was throbbing in pain, it felt like couldn’t breathe until he finally let out the poison. Furihata was too busy with staring at the bloody petals that he didn’t notice someone entering the bathroom.
There wasn’t much blood on the petals, but that was just the start. There would come a time when he would breathe iron instead of oxygen.
“Kouki.” A voice startled the brown haired boy. He didn’t need to turn around to know who it was.
“Please, don’t.”
Akashi didn’t say anything else, instead he sat right behind Furihata. He pushed the Seirin into his chest, held him closely and buried himself in his neck.
The one who needed comfort wasn’t the one who were dying.
“Furi... please get the surgery. I can even pay for it if you don’t have the money!” Fukada yelled in desperation. “Please!”
“All my life I’ve been told what to do or I’ve had to do something for others. This,” Furihata threw the bloodied petals in the air. “This is the one thing I can control and I want it. Don’t think about taking it from me.”
Furihata smiles wavered
“Furi...”
“I rather want to die than live a lifeless life.”
“I said I love you.” Akashi repeated.
“No...” Furihata mumbled to himself, repeating the words over and over again. “N-No, you don’t. Stop lying.”
“I love you.” Akashi said again, this time more forceful. “I. Love. You.”
Furihata could feel tears treating to spill. He hated this, he hated this so much. His skin started to itch, breathe going faster and heart beating. He was so uncomfortable and yet, his heart beat with happiness on hearing the words.
Akashi came closer, crowding his space. He grabbed the Seirin’s hands into his, softly stroking it with his thumbs. He softly kissed one of them before locking his gaze on the one person who mattered the most.
Furihata’s breathe catched, cheek flustered on the gesture.
“I love you.”
The Seirin’s lips curled. “Y...You m-mean it?” He tried to keep his voice together, seconds from breaking.
“Yes.” The sincerity in Akashi’s eyes were unbelievable.
“P-Promise? You- Do you promise?”
“I promise.” This time, Akashi leaned near his face, his lips brushing against his cheek. “I do.”
Furihata’s hands moved on Akashi’s, slipping his fingers between the other boy. His gaze was cast down, but upon his next words: “P-Please, say it again.”
Akashi freed one of hands from the other boy, laying on Furihata’s chin to make him look up. Brown eyes meet red. And with a whisper, he said:
“I love you Furihata Kouki.”